Bates 31: When Will They Go Away?

[JermajestyDuggar]

I actually felt the opposite of violent. I was basically in a sea of agony, wailing and rolling around like a dying sea lion. I couldn’t be violent or threatening if I tried. I was too busy moaning “I can’t do this!” While I in fact, did it. I was a disaster.

[Baxter]

I don't think I did anything terrible in labour although I was a much happier person after I got my epidural. That being said, there is no way I would have ever wanted that to be filmed. The wife of one of my coworkers is a labour and delivery nurse at the hospital where I gave birth. I was terrified that she would end up being my nurse. I really didn't want anyone I knew at all there except for my husband. Thankfully she wasn't my nurse either time. She did stop into my room later the day I gave birth to my second to say hi, which was fine. But I was happy that was the only contact I had with her. 

[feministxtian]

With #1 son, I wanted to change my mind and go home. I don't think I slept the night before I went into labor. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

With my first labor, it was much much longer. So it wasn’t as crazy, but I still felt like crap. However after I got an epidural, they brought in doctors who were learning. So I had some observers. I was not thrilled about that. But I didn’t have the heart to say no to learning. This was back in 2012 and for some reason my room still had one of those glass bubble front TVs. It was right across the room at the foot of my bed. But it was turned off. So it basically acted like a fun house mirror. To my spread eagle crotch. It was less of a fun house and more of a horror house mirror. 

[Bastet]

  I gave birth during the dark ages when men were just starting to be allowed in the delivery room. Not all of them were happy about this opportunity, including my husband. “You realize, don’t you, that I don’t want to be there either,” I told him. 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

I loved all the obstetricians in my practice, however the midwife was very unsympathetic and I was disappointed to see her show up at 7am during my induction (11 hours in). She refused me an epidural all day and when I finally got one just before my csection it was amazing. Labor would have been a breeze if I'd had it for more than one hour of the 23hr labor. She was actually no longer at the practice within 2 months of that, and good riddance.

I told all the nurses that my baby's name was "only child" throughout, and I made my husband eat in the bathroom where I couldn't see him.

[Keys]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I actually felt the opposite of violent. I was basically in a sea of agony, wailing and rolling around like a dying sea lion. I couldn’t be violent or threatening if I tried. I was too busy moaning “I can’t do this!” While I in fact, did it. I was a disaster.

Oh gosh, same. I basically devolved into a writhing mess huffing the nitrous with every contraction and whimpering “ow ow ow”. Thankfully this didn’t go on for long before my doula asked me if I was feeling pressure and I said “YES SO MUCH PRESSURE”. 😂 then I repeatedly asked my OBGYN if “it was working” while pushing, asked the nurse if I could have more fentanyl, kept saying I needed help (I think I wanted her to vacuum my baby out), and repeatedly asked my husband if he was ok (he later told me I’d embarrassed him by asking so many times, lol). SHUDDER!

What I will say is that I have been on the other side of it many many times, and literally almost everyone says they can’t do it! That’s usually how we know you’re very close.  

[Mrs Ms]

I think the midwife might have been a wee bit confused when I told her I didn’t know what to do….. while 5 minutes away from birthing my third child. I just hadn’t verbalised the rest of my thought-salad which was “this is my first hospital birth and I don’t want to lie down - how can I rearrange things?” 6 minutes later I introduced myself to her. 😂

 

[fluffernutter]

I remember being rather violent. Labor #1, I involunarily kicked the doctor when he started sticking me up after the baby was born.  Labor #2, I grabbed the nurse by the front of her shirt, pulled her down to me and begged her to hit me over the head with a frying pan. Labor #3, my husband kept leaning on the bed which made the contractions 66,666 times worse. I asked him to stop, he didn't, and I slapped him good and hard. His mother was in the room at the time and said "well, billy, she DID tell you to stop leaning on the bed..." 🤣 Her and I never see eye to eye but at that moment we did. She birthed four kids and knew my pain all too well. 

[irish_dancing_canadian]

Reading your stories makes me glad I am still childless 😅 I am terrified of pregnancy and labour. If I ever do decide to have children I think 1 will be enough. 

[gobucks]

19 minutes ago, irish_dancing_canadian said:

Reading your stories makes me glad I am still childless 😅 I am terrified of pregnancy and labour. If I ever do decide to have children I think 1 will be enough. 

I have severe medical phobia and I had a very hard time with pregnancy appointments and delivery, but it really helped me to expose myself to those fears. I am glad I did it, even if I did twice. 

[Keys]

3 hours ago, irish_dancing_canadian said:

Reading your stories makes me glad I am still childless 😅 I am terrified of pregnancy and labour. If I ever do decide to have children I think 1 will be enough. 

Honestly it sounds cliche, but while it’s hard, for me it was also the most magical and empowering experience. I would do it again in a heartbeat! I would highly recommend a doula if you do go through it… mine was amazing and I think they’re an awesome resource especially in cases where people might be a little bit more nervous 💜

[ven]

3 hours ago, irish_dancing_canadian said:

Reading your stories makes me glad I am still childless 😅 I am terrified of pregnancy and labour. If I ever do decide to have children I think 1 will be enough. 

Nah don't be, I was on cloud 9 after baby plopped out. I thought then and still do, I could do it every day if needed. But I had an hospital birth, with all the goodies that can be provided if you have motivation! Just be very vocal about sedation. I had an epidural pump and oh boy did I press that button like there was no tomorrow.not because of pain, but just to be sure .  Getting your teeth done is worse then an epidural. I really really have no clue why there is such drama being made out of epidurals. I had 5 more since then because of a vile hernia in my back and every time I was so happy to get it done! 

Edited November 23, 2022 by ven

[GuineaPigCourtship]

@irish_dancing_canadian everyone loves sharing the dramatic parts, because that's what makes a good story!  After I got my epidural, I puked through the csection in reaction to the meds.  But they bundled me up afterwards and handed me a wrapped up confused little wee one (who already knew my voice!) and by the time I had rolled back to our room I looked at my husband and said "I want 5".  He still looked green and said "I don't think I could handle you doing that 5 times".

[Keys]

I don’t think I’ll ever forget the moment she was placed on my chest when I pushed her out. Absolutely surreal. She’s 5 months old now and I still can’t believe she’s real some days. Nothing quite like it. 
 

I think also, it’s become more the norm for this to be talked about more? Like I think before, it wasn’t as commonplace to discuss details of your births. There’s a lot more awareness now too about birth trauma and advocating for yourself, which I think is a positive step forward (and as someone in the field, debriefing after births is the norm here now… I talked with my awesome OBGYN for quite some time about everything during my postpartum visit too). 

Edited November 24, 2022 by Keys

[CanadianMamam]

Warden has a poll up about what kind of dog he should get: husky, Alaskan Malamute or German Shepherd and I cringed because I definitely don't think he will be able to give any of those breeds the care they need. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

18 minutes ago, CanadianMamam said:

Warden has a poll up about what kind of dog he should get: husky, Alaskan Malamute or German Shepherd and I cringed because I definitely don't think he will be able to give any of those breeds the care they need. 

I totally agree. All need lots of attention. He should get a rescue dog with a laid back disposition. 

[raayx01]

18 minutes ago, CanadianMamam said:

Warden has a poll up about what kind of dog he should get: husky, Alaskan Malamute or German Shepherd and I cringed because I definitely don't think he will be able to give any of those breeds the care they need. 

what I don't get is how he is able to get his own dog while living at home. I live at home and my mom would kill if I bought my own dog and brought it home to live with us. So with the bates already having a dog and Lawson's dog, their gonna be ok with another dog in the house. 

[CanadianMamam]

21 minutes ago, raayx01 said:

what I don't get is how he is able to get his own dog while living at home. I live at home and my mom would kill if I bought my own dog and brought it home to live with us. So with the bates already having a dog and Lawson's dog, their gonna be ok with another dog in the house. 

I mean I don:t think the Bates care that much, but is Warden even home enough to get a dog? Ellie commented it will mostly be her dog, but she is gone a lot too and you know she will be in NJ and Florida on the Spring when Katie and Alyssa have their babies. 

[SorenaJ]

Ooh big manly dogs for a big manly man. 
 

 

[therulesofjinx]

On 11/24/2022 at 4:37 PM, CanadianMamam said:

Warden has a poll up about what kind of dog he should get: husky, Alaskan Malamute or German Shepherd and I cringed because I definitely don't think he will be able to give any of those breeds the care they need. 

I agree! My rescue dog is part Husky, Chow Chow, Boxer, Alaskan Malamute, Chinese Sharpei, German Shepherd, and Labrador Retriever and he can be a handful (I know that mix sounds quite odd, but he's very handsome ) Honestly, I'm not sure Warden would give any dog the care they need and perhaps he should get zero dogs.

[front hugs > duggs]

3 hours ago, therulesofjinx said:

I agree! My rescue dog is part Husky, Chow Chow, Boxer, Alaskan Malamute, Chinese Sharpei, German Shepherd, and Labrador Retriever and he can be a handful (I know that mix sounds quite odd, but he's very handsome ) Honestly, I'm not sure Warden would give any dog the care they need and perhaps he should get zero dogs.

Are you willing to share a pic? My rescue is part husky, chow chow, boxer, pekingese, cocker spaniel, and st bernard!

[marmalade]

3 hours ago, therulesofjinx said:

I agree! My rescue dog is part Husky, Chow Chow, Boxer, Alaskan Malamute, Chinese Sharpei, German Shepherd, and Labrador Retriever and he can be a handful (I know that mix sounds quite odd, but he's very handsome ) Honestly, I'm not sure Warden would give any dog the care they need and perhaps he should get zero dogs.

Or Warden can just take Duke. He's already at the Big House, and Lawson doesn't seem to give two shits about him, except for the occasional photo op. 

[AussieKrissy]

11 hours ago, therulesofjinx said:

I agree! My rescue dog is part Husky, Chow Chow, Boxer, Alaskan Malamute, Chinese Sharpei, German Shepherd, and Labrador Retriever and he can be a handful (I know that mix sounds quite odd, but he's very handsome ) Honestly, I'm not sure Warden would give any dog the care they need and perhaps he should get zero dogs.

please post photo of said good boy so we too can bask in his handsomeness 

I find it cruel and unusual punishment that you should make mention of said handsome good boy and not supply us immediately with supporting evidence. 

8 hours ago, front hugs > duggs said:

Are you willing to share a pic? My rescue is part husky, chow chow, boxer, pekingese, cocker spaniel, and st bernard!

lol another participant in the torture of mentioning adorb pups and not showing us said adorable pup  

Cruel cruel torture I tell ya lol 

[therulesofjinx]

22 hours ago, front hugs > duggs said:

Are you willing to share a pic? My rescue is part husky, chow chow, boxer, pekingese, cocker spaniel, and st bernard!

 

14 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

please post photo of said good boy so we too can bask in his handsomeness 

Here's my handsome, handsome guy His name is Thor! I know he looks sad/serious, but I promise he's a goofy guy...he just has resting worried face 😂

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