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Bates 31: When Will They Go Away?


Coconut Flan
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When I flew last weekend, the day I left masks were still required in Canada, so you had to wear one in the airport but it was an American airline, so they aren't required on the flight. Then I flew home the day after makes were no longer required. 

Furniture: when I moved out on my own, it was all hand me downs. We didn't really start buying furniture until we bought out house in our mid 30s.

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When I finally moved out of my parents house I got all new furniture for my apartment. My parents paid for it & considered it a gift because if I had gotten married & brought a house my parents probably would have gifted me furniture for at least one room. 

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We were considering going on a trip somewhere warm in the wintertime with our baby, as I’m on maternity leave for a year, but now that they have dropped the mask mandates on planes here in Canada, I am really re-thinking our plans. It’s truly unbelievable to me that our government caved to people complaining about the inconvenience of masking. It is such a small and easy action people can take to keep others safe (my baby is too young for a mask, for example). Public health is not a concept of “personal decisions”.  I simply don’t trust others to do the right thing - stay home, or at the very least wear a mask, while sick. Maybe it sounds jaded, but I know people who have flown while actively covid positive, have symptoms but don’t bother testing, etc. Selfish!!!!
 

Sorry - as a healthcare worker who has cared for covid patients since this started, yes I am ragey when someone complains about the discomfort of masking. Or takes no covid precautions at all because “I’m young and it doesn’t affect me” 😣

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It's so interesting to me how different rules are at the moment for masks. Here in the UK I barely ever see anyone in a mask. I wear one at work (in healthcare), but my patients rarely do. We haven't had to wear masks anywhere else for ages. When we moved here last year you still needed them in shops/public transport etc, but it already felt a lot less visible than it had in Ireland where we had come from and was a bit of a shock at the time. There was also so much chat about exemptions from masks here, that I never heard anywhere else (for example on a eurostar trip in the UK stations the announcements would be along the lines of 'masks are mandatory on public transport unless you are excempt', whereas announcements on board and when going through Belgium/France, or travelling on planes would just all say masks are mandatory.

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3 hours ago, medimus said:

in the UK I barely ever see anyone in a mask

Yes, we had friends from the UK visit in August and others in September. None of them brought masks - even the two in their 80s - as it just didn't occur to them that they'd still need them. In Switzerland, they wouldn't even let people on the bus without masks. To be fair to the older couple, they live in Cornwall, drive everywhere, and mainly shop online, so they just hadn't got into the habit, since they rarely were ever anywhere that needed them. The other couple live in London, and are not anti-masks at all, so I assumed they'd have developed the habit of just having one with them all the time. I guess not. 

Most of my furniture is 60 years old. It is mainly my partner's grandmother's stuff, and I low-key dislike a lot of it. But also, I don't really care that much, since I spend most of my time asleep or in my study. My furniture in the UK was mainly my mum's cast-offs, mixed with a bit of IKEA, so we passed it on to friends, as paying for storage and then trnasport would be a lot. Especially for IKEA stuff, not like you can't get it everywhere. (Also, we moved into her old flat, so the furniture was already just in the attic) I kept my desk, nightstand and bookcase from pre-IKEA (at least where I lived) days, nothing stylish, but from a carpenter's shop in the early 90s. It won't win any prizes for being fashionable, but it withstands moves and will never have to be replaced from wear and tear. Though I did spill a glass on wine on my desk 10 years ago, and a bottle of ink 25 years ago. It's kind of faded into the wood now, but maybe I'll get it refinished. Whatever, they will certainly outlive me, and I kind of get a giggle at the thought of them ending up in some cheap antique shop here.

I like the syle of a lot of IKEA stuff, and my day bed is IKEA and wonderfully comfy, but I think we're more likely to wait until we have our own house to buy stuff. Even then we'll probably take on his parents stuff when they downsize. I find too much IKEA stuff can't really be moved without damage so easily, so there's not much point in getting stuff now.

My brother and his ex-wife though, got everything new in their house - all trendy stuff - and had to replace most of it the first five years. Either as it was flimsy to start with - or, in the case of their one really lovely piece, a very expensive (£6-7000) brown leather sofa (wedding gift) - it just got trashed. I know kittens are naughty and scratch things, but who a) lets the kittens scratch the sofa without trying to dissuade them? and b) leaves them in the sitting room all day to carry on doing it? It took about a year to look awful. And after 5 the stuffing was coming out, so it got trashed as it was too scruffy to resell. So, ex sis-in-law bought another one (cheap and trendy) but decided that this time the cats weren't allowed to scratch it. I guess that's what happens when you only care about stuff you bought with your own money.  Then, she had to change all the furniture in the sitting room to match the new sofa. Yet she claims to be eco-friendly because she doesn't really fly much (it's because she hates travelling, and thinks everything in Britain is better than everything everywhere else on the planet, but she makes out that it's because she is environmentally aware. Unlike us awful people who live abroad, and occasionally fly home. Though this has changed with the new partner, they go to instagram hotspots now, and literally never leave the resort. I'm not sure when she became so utterly shallow and superficial. Perhaps I should ask if she's been folllowing the Bates, lol)

Now she's moving, so all the cheap stuff has been trashed, and she is replacing it again. The better stuff she sold on, because she can't just keep stuff, it has to all be new. I think she thinks her conspicuous consumption makes her look financially successful with an enviable lifestyle, I think it makes her look like an idiot. She is replacing it with trendier but worse stuff, so I guess at least at this point in time she had made a profit from their wedding gifts, but I really don't know where she has this attitude from, she's a teacher, it isn't like she's loaded. And her parents are a vicar and SAHM, so again, not something she grew up with. The one wealthy person in my family also doesn't do this - she just buys classic pieces, and updates them. Never too fashionable, so they are never in style, but also never out of it. And she might, every 10 years, get things reupholstered/new covers made. Same with my partner's parents. My mum does similar things, and now that my brother lives alone, if he wants a new look, he just repaints/refinishes things.

It's really odd. I'm not saying everything was better in our parents' days (they're early 70s now), they would have loved to have some cheap furniture options, as life was pretty hard as newly weds. My parents rented furnished, then bought their first house. They slept on an air mattress, as they wanted to buy a washing machine first. Then the bed, table chairs etc. And all the kids' furniture sort of rotated around the neighbourhood. Ten years ago, one of my school friends, who had inherited one of my chests of drawers, which I got from a friend, whose older brothers had it first, was still using it for her kid (I remember my mum being furious when I put some stickers on it, as she thought no one would buy it).

I am trying really hard not to be overly judgemental, and failing miserably - just because permanently refurbishing my house sounds like hell to me, I am sure some people enjoy it (I mean, I love it on the Sims) - and loads of people cannot afford high end stuff which they actually need now, rather than saving for years, and all that. But that is very different to deliberately buying stuff with a short shelf life, then chucking and replacing, when you have the money to do better. Same as fast fashion - I get that sometimes you need a suit/dress for an event/work with short notice and looking in second hand shops is time consuming and often unsuccessful, but does it then have to be everything you buy, all the time. Like, why have an overflowing wardrobe stuffed with tons of clothes from Shein - that you replace within a year from the same place, because they wear out and aren't up to the minute trendy? They can't even be resold/donated, they just end up in the trash (not thinking of ex sis-in-law again...) which also makes it worse for people who need/want to buy second hand. It seems incredible to me that, with all the focus on climate change and the environment, that influencers, shows and industries who promote conspicuous consumption are making money from it, rather than being shamed. 

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I'm gonna say it- I love the beige-y, monochromatic look. Add some green in there in the form of plants/good quality fake plants, some woven elements like baskets and throws and weavings, and natural touches like branches, gourds, driftwood, etc, and you've got my house. In my defense I have a degree in interior design, and I think my house looks cosy and inviting. I totally love other decorating styles too, but this aesthetic is my favorite. 

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The USA is not masking outside of healthcare situations but when we went to Mexico they absolutely still were.  You had to wear it at the airport and when we went to tourist spots outside of the place we were staying.  I think people aren't really checking on masking requirements in other countries when they're traveling. 

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In Spain, masks are mandatory in healthcare-related places and in public transportation. Flu is coming, so I guess masks will remain for a while.

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6 hours ago, BeccaGrim said:

The USA is not masking outside of healthcare situations but when we went to Mexico they absolutely still were.  You had to wear it at the airport and when we went to tourist spots outside of the place we were staying.  I think people aren't really checking on masking requirements in other countries when they're traveling. 

Yes, we were in Puerto Vallarta last month, I was glad they required masks at the airport.  At the resort were we stayed all staff were required to wear masks and they recommended guests wear them too, I was one of the few guests who actually wore a mask.  Since the pandemic I've been feeling that it mask sense for masking to be mandatory for restaurant workers though I know this will never happen.

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I've had a horrible cough for the past year (started in November) that seems to be secondary to an as-yet undiagnosed allergy and being repeatedly given colds by my plague rat toddler.  I wear a mask whenever interacting with people who don't know me well (family, basically).  I never tested positive for covid, nor have I ever been sick enough that I think it was just a false negative but what a wretched time to have a cough.  It is so bad being in exam rooms with people, but I do notice when they come back with their pets for a recheck they're wearing a mask even if they didn't bring one the first time.

Reminds them they still don't want covid even if they thought they didn't care anymore.

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3 hours ago, GuineaPigCourtship said:

I've had a horrible cough for the past year (started in November) that seems to be secondary to an as-yet undiagnosed allergy and being repeatedly given colds by my plague rat toddler.  I wear a mask whenever interacting with people who don't know me well (family, basically).  I never tested positive for covid, nor have I ever been sick enough that I think it was just a false negative but what a wretched time to have a cough.  It is so bad being in exam rooms with people, but I do notice when they come back with their pets for a recheck they're wearing a mask even if they didn't bring one the first time.

Reminds them they still don't want covid even if they thought they didn't care anymore.

Interesting how people act! Hugs to you - definitely a bad time to have a chronic cough. I had a non-COVID cold last fall (negative PCR, did the appropriate isolation regardless), with a mild cough, and had a dry throat coughing fit (you know where you can’t talk or breathe without getting that throat tickle and you have to cough) when I was in with a patient the day I went back to work. After the patient had just finished telling me about how anxious they were about contracting covid. I felt so bad!!! We were both wearing masks of course, but I had to explain that I was just getting over a non-covid cold and had had negative covid tests. 
 

On a related aside: as a healthcare worker, it’s somewhat bewildering to me now to think about the fact that we hardly ever wore masks before covid. Like not while seeing coughing/vomiting patients, not while sick ourselves, etc! I also work in obstetrics, and covid caused policies to be made about the PPE we now wear in births - including a full gown and eye protection. Before it was just gloves, and you’d frequenting get blood/body fluids on your arms etc (sorry to be gross!). Covid aside, I think the increased PPE in healthcare settings is a good thing, and I can’t see it ever fully going back to how it was pre-COVID

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Regarding furniture if you are in the US and have a Habitat for Hummanity Restore by you, you can make some great finds. My friend has outfitted both her living and family rooms with furniture from there. Last May people updated pieces with paint and whatever other magic they had and then put them up for sale. They were beautiful. 

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My brother and his wife change furniture and flooring like most change their underwear. I just noticed that our guest room furniture is a hand-me-down from them. It was in their son’s room at one time. It’s nice stuff and works well in the room. Why would I change it?

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My hobby is to restore free and cheap old furniture (not for resale, just personal use). I love a good solid wood piece, but I don't have the budget, so my house is filled with hand me downs/facebook market place finds/even some curbside finds. The thrift store and flea market are my happy places lol. As for generational style, I'm a younger(?) millennial that gravitates to the maximalism style. I love loud colors, bright patterns, and mixed textures, but I do love me some mid century modern. 

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On 10/7/2022 at 11:41 AM, HeartsAFundie said:

And in my age group (Baby Boomer/GenX cusp) because you were starting out and didn't have much money to spend on decor, you took pretty much whatever anyone had to offer you and made it work with your taste the best you could and the best you knew how.  That's how it was when I got married in 1993 and bought our house a year later (which we are still in).  Any friend or relative that had a piece of hand-me-down furniture or bought/passed down to us anything that was functional, such as curtains, we took and used, even if it wasn't exactly what we would go out and buy for ourselves.  I still shudder to think of the ugly 70s rust and green plaid love seat with wooden decorative front arm panels in our den that was passed down from my sister-in-law who married in 1987, who previously inherited it from her/my husband's parents.   But as much as I despised it, it was one less piece of furniture we had to worry about buying and cheap solid colored cotton throws and throw cushions soon became my best friend. 

 

I mean, I am a millenial. Closer in age to some of the older Bates (think Erin, Michael or Lawson). And when I moved in my first appartment, it was exactly like you described. I had a hand-me-down futon. I bought a used fridge and used stove. I remember, I had my grandma's tiny kitchen table and only was able to afford a big table a few years ago (and even that one was bought used). I think only the bed and mattres were the big and new expense when I left home.

It's only recently that me and Mr. Music have started buying some new a nice furniture and we have plan to decorate a bit. And it's been 6 or 7 years since we have become professionals and worked full time, so it didn't happen overnight. We slowly put money aside, with the years. I think what you describe is still common. The Bates are simply lucky because they are more comfortable financially.

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Hubs and I are in our late 20s, purchased our house over 2 years ago, and just got our living room furniture last year. We had a love seat in our basement in front of the tv before that (TV handed down from in-laws when they got a bigger one, love seat from my grandmother who wasn’t using it). We want to remodel our kitchen at some point in the near future, but aren’t sure what we’re going to do with it yet, and our kitchen table is my grandparents’ patio table that we are currently loaning from them. Our bedroom suite is my childhood (queen size) suite that my parents insisted we have, and our spare beds are our ikea ones from when we were students. Only other room that’s newly furnished is the nursery. Furniture is sooo expensive and we’ve been really grateful we’ve been able to use pieces from family members in the interim. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

All furniture in our apartment is either second (or more) hand or from Ikea. We are in our early 30s. I work parttime (24h a week, can't work fulltime due to psychological issues), and my hb only started working fulltime in March 2022 (due to health issues).
I would love new chairs at our livingroom (dining) table, because 3 of the 5 chairs are currently being held together with duct tape, but furniture is crazy expensive and we can't afford it. We could also really use new couches (or one nice couch) in our living room, but again, it's too expensive to get new ones. So instead of getting new couches I bought couch covers, to cover up most of the wear and tear. But they are starting to look rather rough too 😭 

But, to look at it more positively: at least we have an affordable roof over our heads. The housing crisis is crazy atm, and I'm very grateful for our apartment.

 

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Am I the only FJ member who buys brand new furtinure? When I had my first appartment I was in a tight budget, but I managed to purchase basic items. My home style is very important for me, I need things that go together and that make me feel relaxed. Some furtinure styles (busy, barroque or too colorful) make me feel uncomfortable. 

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11 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

Am I the only FJ member who buys brand new furtinure? When I had my first appartment I was in a tight budget, but I managed to purchase basic items. My home style is very important for me, I need things that go together and that make me feel relaxed. Some furtinure styles (busy, barroque or too colorful) make me feel uncomfortable. 

You don’t live in the US right? Used furniture is practically everywhere in the US. It’s very easy to come by. I swear you drive around a college town in May and you will see couch after couch after couch  on the side of the road. I remember every year in college, everyone seemed to just shuffle around the used furniture from one apartment to another. And then so many people just give their children their old furniture when their kids get their first house. Houses in the US can be big (McMansions usually) and it takes a ton of money to fill up big houses with new furniture. 

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20 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

Am I the only FJ member who buys brand new furtinure? When I had my first appartment I was in a tight budget, but I managed to purchase basic items. My home style is very important for me, I need things that go together and that make me feel relaxed. Some furtinure styles (busy, barroque or too colorful) make me feel uncomfortable. 

it depends.  Quality furniture can get expensive, but at the same time a lot of second-hand can be good quality.  i've done both, depending on what i could afford at the time.  about a year before i got my first apartment (age 22), my great-grandmother moved to a skilled nursing facility, and my grandparents put all of her things in storage for me in case i wanted any of it.  i accepted everything they let me have--bed, dresser, couch, armchair, dinette set, side tables, desk, lamps, dishes, and some linens (my sister took the rest).  i had a few new things, like a glass-top coffee table and a second dresser (from Ikea), but almost everything i had was my great-grandma's hand-me-downs.  then over the years i traded items out as i needed/wanted them.  i gave/sold the bigger items to other people as i got new things, and still have three of them.  my replacements have been a combination of new, antique, and hand-me-down.

at the same time, some of my peers never buy new, either because the can't or they don't want to; while others will only buy new.  it's all just personal preference.

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44 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

Am I the only FJ member who buys brand new furtinure? When I had my first appartment I was in a tight budget, but I managed to purchase basic items. My home style is very important for me, I need things that go together and that make me feel relaxed. Some furtinure styles (busy, barroque or too colorful) make me feel uncomfortable. 

No you’re not! When we were in school, we bought furniture from IKEA for our apartment. Now that we have jobs and a house, we’ve slowly been furnishing with higher quality stuff. We live in a smaller city and there aren’t as many good options out there for used furniture, and I’m also not a person who is skilled in refinishing old furniture. We hope that buying new, higher quality stuff means that it will last us :)

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Used furniture story. My aunt’s brother & his wife had the same couches for almost 30 years.  They remolded their house in 2007 & got all new furniture they couldn’t give their furniture to any charities because they always had pets. So they gave their old stuff to my cousin when he got his first apartment after he finished vet school. The couches fit right into his place because he lived in pre-war building in Queens, NY. 

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Some furniture can hold up really well over the years. Especially if the owners didn’t have small children or pets. But I cringe when I see those plastic covers people used to put on their couches. Ewwww. 

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Well, I don't think 30 year old couches are comfy at all. Like 30 year old matresses. I just don't get it. 

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21 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Some furniture can hold up really well over the years. Especially if the owners didn’t have small children or pets. But I cringe when I see those plastic covers people used to put on their couches. Ewwww. 

My $20 recliner couch.

20221025_170811_HDR.jpg

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