Katie & Travis 3: Married and Expecting to be Expecting Soon….

[SassyPants]

10 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Looking at Josie’s house, she doesn’t seem to even like any colors besides black white and beige. 

They have a light brown, bordering on burnt orange, leather (?) couch-

[JermajestyDuggar]

15 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

They have a light brown, bordering on burnt orange, leather (?) couch-

*faints from colorful disbelief*

[Keys]

Katie posted a pic on Instagram of her with Carlin’s baby, and the caption tagged Travis and how she’d be coming home with baby fever. She’s really laying it on thick haha 

[Angelface]

I hope Travis sits Katie down and gently explains that they are not ready for a baby and probably won’t be for the next couple of years. Maybe he could suggest some “refresher” driving lessons and then she could get a job in a salon. Of all the Bates couples these two are the least ready for adult life, let alone kids. 

[Marly]

About driving/not driving:
I am in Europe (the Netherlands), I've had my drivers license since I was 18 (I am 32 now). In my country you need a lot of lessons and not from parents. It is a very costly affair. The first 4 years after I got my license I drove regularly, because I still lived at home and my parents encouraged me to drive their car at least once a week so I wouldn't 'unlearn' anything.
Then I moved out, to the city, and I haven't had a car readily available for 10 years. So,  I didn't drive a whole lot. Maybe once or twice a year. And I really disliked it. I have ADHD (and generalized anxiety disorder), and driving is so exhausting to me because I need to focus the entire time, and that is exhausting. I didn't like driving because it required so much focus and that was exhausting.

Two weeks ago we finally got a car, an electric car that came with my SO's job. It's an automatic car. That is the exception here, as most cars here are manual (automatic cars are really expensive, manual is much cheaper).
Omg. Game changer. Driving automatic is so much easier, so much less focus required, and therefore (for me) so much less exhausting. I even offered to drive to my parents, (45 minute drive) which I never did whenever we were able to rent/loan a manual car. I still don't particularly like driving in big city centres, especially when I haven't been there before, but I am so much less anxious to drive anywhere now. Even driving by myself is less anxiety inducing now. I hope I don't ever have to go back to a manual car!

[ItalianSceptic]

In Italy Is the same. You get driving lessons from authorized schools. First theory. You study rules on books and have to pass an official test.
Then practicing on Cars for weeks and another official test. And you get your driving license.

Might be costly.

[Tangy Bee]

So is she gonna fly home every time there's a new birth...? 

[CanadianMamam]

1 hour ago, Tangy Bee said:

So is she gonna fly home every time there's a new birth...? 

She and Carlin are particularly close and she went to a lot of the doctor appointments before she moved away, so I can see why she came back for this one. 

She didn't make a trip for Finley's birth. I doubt she would for Tori's next or so on, but I am sure she felt involved in this particular pregnancy. 

[AussieKrissy]

I don’t begrudge her flying home. Can’t stand the Bates fam, but my mother’s heart sees her homesick and struggling and seeing Carlin with her mental health struggling and possibly being prone to PND and I can’t deny both girls support. 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

Man, it is going to be ROUGH in that marriage if she is constantly publicly begging for a baby and he's not ready.

[anjulibai]

I feel bad for her. Travis had to have known she'd be expecting to have a baby really quickly after marriage. I mean, I think she should wait, but having children is what she was raised to expect of marriage. 

[just_ordinary]

19 hours ago, Angelface said:

I hope Travis sits Katie down and gently explains that they are not ready for a baby and probably won’t be for the next couple of years. Maybe he could suggest some “refresher” driving lessons and then she could get a job in a salon. Of all the Bates couples these two are the least ready for adult life, let alone kids. 

As much as I agree that a child is not a problem solver and I am happy for every  poor innocent soul that is NOT born into such mindsets, why should Travis be the only one making the reproductive decisions? They should openly talk about their wishes and expectations. If someone really longs for a child, driving lessons and a job to distract themselves are actually pretty insulting “solutions”. 
Communicating openly and a bit of self reflection is needed. They could come to a compromise which is either the time frame they start trying or agreeing on one child and then a longer break. They should most definitely talk about how they think the other is to fill in their respective role in this marriage. Because Katie (like most of her sisters) seems rather clueless to the whole “keeper of the home“ idea and Travis is far off being an independent adult providing for a growing family. Those two need some hard discussions to find a way forward quickly.

 

[AussieKrissy]

16 minutes ago, just_ordinary said:

As much as I agree that a child is not a problem solver and I am happy for every  poor innocent soul that is NOT born into such mindsets, why should Travis be the only one making the reproductive decisions? They should openly talk about their wishes and expectations. If someone really longs for a child, driving lessons and a job to distract themselves are actually pretty insulting “solutions”. 
Communicating openly and a bit of self reflection is needed. They could come to a compromise which is either the time frame they start trying or agreeing on one child and then a longer break. They should most definitely talk about how they think the other is to fill in their respective role in this marriage. Because Katie (like most of her sisters) seems rather clueless to the whole “keeper of the home“ idea and Travis is far off being an independent adult providing for a growing family. Those two need some hard discussions to find a way forward quickly.

 

What is the most sad, is this convo should have happened and agreed upon before marriage, prehaps it did. Prehaps Katie didn’t think he was serious. Prehaps she is happy to wait but is playing it up for be cameras, prehaps she changed her mind.
 

Either way it’s not a good look to be begging for a baby when your partner is showing they are not ready. When this baby happens and if it happens before trav changes his tune it will look like Katie manipulated him into a baby he was not ready for. 

somebody needs to tell her that because social media is forever and that little babe is not gunna wanna be reading about how their dad didn’t want them. (Extreme I know, but still). 

[CaptainFunderpants]

18 hours ago, Keys said:

Katie posted a pic on Instagram of her with Carlin’s baby, and the caption tagged Travis and how she’d be coming home with baby fever. She’s really laying it on thick haha 

I'm starting to wonder who lied to who or if one of them changed their mind.

They seem really far apart on the subject and it doesn't surprise me that Katie wants to be pregnant immediately. She's 19. She could have thought she would be fine waiting, but we all saw this coming, no doubt her family all saw this coming, no doubt she's getting pressure from her family.

Travis... He had to see it coming. So maybe she's more immature than he thought? Or the driving thing is a sticking point that he didn't realize would be such a huge issue because when they were courting he naturally always drove anyway? Or maybe he thought his parents would relent on their thoughts of the pair of them waiting?

But this public posturing is super, super uncomfortable for everyone.

I also wonder going forward about number of kids. I suspect that Katie and Travis are also rather far apart there.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

Katie acts very immature at least on camera. I think Travis is right. I also think they should wait since they can change their minds later, but once you have a baby, you can't go backwards. You still have the child to raise even if the child get older. 

So many fundies think they're entitled to whatever they want. They need to hear "no" more. 

[MaryOrMartha]

I suspect they'll have an oopsy baby if Travis' parents don't give them the greenlight soon. I wonder if they are being very vocal about establishing themselves in marriage first. They seem to call the shots.

[Smash!]

Either she was fine with moving away because she thought she would have a baby soon to distract her and make her feel more at home. Don‘t forget in their culture you‘re only a full adult when married with a family.

The other theory is Katie didn‘t have much of a say who and when to marry. Daddy told her this is the man God wants to marry and this is the time God wants you to do it. Women have little to no agency under the umbrella of protection.

[GreenBeans]

5 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

Either way it’s not a good look to be begging for a baby when your partner is showing they are not ready. When this baby happens and if it happens before trav changes his tune it will look like Katie manipulated him into a baby he was not ready for. 

Do we actually know what Travis’ opinion is on the matter? Did he actually say he doesn’t want kids for the first x number of years? Or are we just projecting because his family’s approach to having kids seems different than that of the Bates (as early and as many as possible)?

Just wondering because Travis not wanting a child due to not being ready / established yet seems to be taken as fact here on FJ, and I’m wondering if there’s any actual proof for that anywhere.

[OHFL2009]

2 hours ago, GreenBeans said:

Do we actually know what Travis’ opinion is on the matter? Did he actually say he doesn’t want kids for the first x number of years? Or are we just projecting because his family’s approach to having kids seems different than that of the Bates (as early and as many as possible)?

Just wondering because Travis not wanting a child due to not being ready / established yet seems to be taken as fact here on FJ, and I’m wondering if there’s any actual proof for that anywhere.

There have been some video clips on social media where the subject has come up and Travis has seemed pretty clear on not wanting a baby yet. But it's hard to know if they both really feel the way they're acting, or if they're playing it up for views and likes.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Since all three Clark children got married in the same year, I wonder who will get pregnant first. None have announced. 

[AussieKrissy]

20 hours ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

I'm starting to wonder who lied to who or if one of them changed their mind.

They seem really far apart on the subject and it doesn't surprise me that Katie wants to be pregnant immediately. She's 19. She could have thought she would be fine waiting, but we all saw this coming, no doubt her family all saw this coming, no doubt she's getting pressure from her family.

Travis... He had to see it coming. So maybe she's more immature than he thought? Or the driving thing is a sticking point that he didn't realize would be such a huge issue because when they were courting he naturally always drove anyway? Or maybe he thought his parents would relent on their thoughts of the pair of them waiting?

But this public posturing is super, super uncomfortable for everyone.

I also wonder going forward about number of kids. I suspect that Katie and Travis are also rather far apart there.

Being far apart on the number of kids could eb and flow. Katie hasn’t had one yet, she may push one out and be like ok ten it is or like nope not doing that again.. also raising them helps the ebb and flow of desire for kids. I just hope she/they are rational, mature enough, in reality enough and on the same page as the babies arrive to manage their expectations vs desire and pressure on the number of kids they have. If that makes sense 

[meep]

I've never driven, never had my license. Felt like I didn't need it. Now in my 30s for the first time I'm living far away enough where I can't just walk or public transport anywhere I feel like. It kind of sucks but also almost everything is deliverable now. But if I were a 20 and living away from my family for the first time, "stuck" with one other person in a house all by myself, I'd probably be very upset too. 

[Cupcake79]

What is the deal with Katie’s driving? Was she the one labeled the worst driver among the Bates? Or does she not have a license at all? Or does she just not like driving? I don’t follow her a lot on IG, she’s too immature for my taste. 
 

Why doesn’t she have a job? Didn’t some of her sisters work early on in their marriages before having kids?

[raayx01]

36 minutes ago, Cupcake79 said:

What is the deal with Katie’s driving? Was she the one labeled the worst driver among the Bates? Or does she not have a license at all? Or does she just not like driving? I don’t follow her a lot on IG, she’s too immature for my taste. 
 

Why doesn’t she have a job? Didn’t some of her sisters work early on in their marriages before having kids?

She says she's still adjusting to NJ and says she scared to drive there. She does have a license and I think a car in Nj but usually always has someone with her when she goes shopping. Josie worked when she got married and quit right before she gave birth to willow. Katie says she might get a job in a few months like at a lash studio since she loves doing lashes but she wants to settle in NJ first and the process to transfer your cosmo license is a process. 

[anjulibai]

I'm 38 and I have a driving phobia. It's not fun. I am fine being driven, but the idea of being in the driver's seat terrifies me. I've tried many, many times to learn. 

So, I feel for Katie there. I hope she's able to work something out, because not being able to drive is not a lot of fun.