Alyssa & John 9: It’s All About Dressing Up and Looking Perfect on Instagram

[Nothing if not critical]

4 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

I suppose Hama beads could do the same thing, including parent bragging. 

This made me giggle, because both my girls must have spent hours each week with those beads, for several years. And I'm still not allowed to throw away any of their creations :D. Seriously though, it really did wonders for their fine motor skills. Plus, it gave me hours of quiet time while they were happily busy.

[CanadianMamam]

8 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Writing cursive helps to focus attention and improves fine motor skills, more than "easier" lettering. I know there are plenty of other activities that can help children in those fields and that parents may use those beautiful written sheets to brag, but cursive is an useful exercice. Webster girls have a lot of screen time, so they probably benefit from an activity that needs to concentrate.

 

 

I will add that I was born with very low fine motor function and my mother was told I would probably never hold a pen and she found a therapy program that involved cursive to music. I did that every day for 3 years and not only can I use cursive, but I can knit, write nearly, and  have very good fine motor control. 

[SassyPants]

I’m sure more than anything, Alyssa is craving structure and order to her and the girls’ daily lives. I know that for many, myself included, being forced to grow up in a zoo atmosphere ala chez Bates and la maison de Duggar, had to have had life long negative effects-

Apparently, Alyssa is trying everything to avoid creating a similar atmosphere in her own home. She should first break the cycle of irresponsible pro-creation.

[Jackie3]

10 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Writing cursive helps to focus attention and improves fine motor skills, more than "easier" lettering. I know there are plenty of other activities that can help children in those fields and that parents may use those beautiful written sheets to brag, but cursive is an useful exercice. Webster girls have a lot of screen time, so they probably benefit from an activity that needs to concentrate.

 

 

If she wants children to enjoy learning, she'd choose an activity that is more meaningful to a three year old. There's beading, puzzles, simple embroidery, drawing, nanoblocks, ceramics, models. . . I can think of a million ways a three-year old can improve her fine motor skills and have fun at the same time. Cursive must mean nothing to her, just a chore assigned by a virtual teacher.

[rebeccawriter01]

5 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

If she wants children to enjoy learning, she'd choose an activity that is more meaningful to a three year old. There's beading, puzzles, simple embroidery, drawing, nanoblocks, ceramics, models. . . I can think of a million ways a three-year old can improve her fine motor skills and have fun at the same time. Cursive must mean nothing to her, just a chore assigned by a virtual teacher.

At that age children learn more through play than they do through repetition and lecture. For example, setting up a writing center where the child(ren) can write on fun colored paper, posters, in notebooks, etc. Writing the child's name with a highlighter and letting the child trace over it inside a book of his/her own. Children tend to play act things they are curious about, interested in, and trying to figure out. With numbers, let the child count fun things. They are so into the pool so count the number of times she or her sisters can make a trip across the pool or have her count how many seconds Allie can hold her breath. 

One tip I picked up from the pre-k teacher my older daughter had was to have a name book. Instead of time out, my daughters had to write their names in my book. At that age it took about the same amount of time as a time out but it had them do something constructive. 

[fluffernutter]

I remember having a bean table set up when my girls were pre-schoolers. We had a big, big pan on a little table with all kinds of dry beans, and little cups, spoons, measuring things, containers, containers with separate compartments, even a little truck was in there. For whatever reason, they loved this. They would separate them by color or size or whatever, pour in and out, count, collect in the bucket of the toy truck. Film canisters made little maracas. Other than the potential to possibly step on beans near the table, it was awesome. Small motor plus mama time to get shit done for the win. 

[CanadianMamam]

When my daughter's kindergarten class went virtual, the teachers made up learning kits for the students. They include velcro pattern games and laminated trace boards of letters and numbers as well as the be child's name and birth date. My daughter loves them and uses.them frequently.

 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

My kids’ preschool always had a sensory table and it was different every week. It was a table with a big bin stuck in it. Some examples were uncooked rice, dry beans, sand, potting soil, beads, or just water. It was probably the most popular area of the classroom. I chose that particular preschool because they were very big on “learn through play.”

[HideousGreenShirt]

I hope that the fact that her girls are so excited for their co-op gives Alyssa a clue that their education is lacking and they would do better in a real school or at the very least with more activities with their peers. 

I have very little hope that they will get the opportunity for better education than those miserable abeka videos in their decorated home school room. But their enthusiasm should be a glaring indicator to her.

[Expectopatronus]

Zoey has the same narwhal backpack as my daughter. I love Skip Hop for little kids! I also love that Alyssa is taking them to a Co-op. I feel like the Bates were never organized enough to do something like that. 
I’m not crazy about how Alyssa is “educating” her girls but I do feel like it is a step up from what she had growing up. Maybe each generation will get closer to going to school like Kelly and Gil did. We can only hope! 

[JermajestyDuggar]

12 minutes ago, Expectopatronus said:

Zoey has the same narwhal backpack as my daughter. I love Skip Hop for little kids! I also love that Alyssa is taking them to a Co-op. I feel like the Bates were never organized enough to do something like that. 
I’m not crazy about how Alyssa is “educating” her girls but I do feel like it is a step up from what she had growing up. Maybe each generation will get closer to going to school like Kelly and Gil did. We can only hope! 

The Bates and Duggar families probably weren’t organized because there were way too many of them. That’s why the families were always late everywhere they went. 4 kids are so much easier to get out the door compared to 19.

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

The Bates and Duggar families probably weren’t organized because there were way too many of them. That’s why the families were always late everywhere they went. 4 kids are so much easier to get out the door compared to 19.

Just getting 19 kids up, cleaned up (bathroom, face, teeth and hair) and buckled into the car would make most parents break a sweat…and that’s without the time devoted to a meal! It’s why they all homeschool. There’s no way they could handle multiple school schedules-

[SorenaJ]

1 minute ago, SassyPants said:

Just getting 19 kids up, cleaned up (bathroom, face, teeth and hair) and buckled into the car would make most parents break a sweat…and that’s without the time devoted to a meal! It’s why they all homeschool. There’s no way they could handle multiple school schedules-

The Radford family have 21 kids or something, they all go to state school. I’m presuming a lot of the (near)adult kids help out with the younger ones. 

[SassyPants]

30 minutes ago, SorenaJ said:

The Radford family have 21 kids or something, they all go to state school. I’m presuming a lot of the (near)adult kids help out with the younger ones. 

If you only have 2 bathrooms it considerably slows the process- 

[Maggie Mae]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

Just getting 19 kids up, cleaned up (bathroom, face, teeth and hair) and buckled into the car would make most parents break a sweat…and that’s without the time devoted to a meal! It’s why they all homeschool. There’s no way they could handle multiple school schedules-

Presumably, 19 kids wouldn't be all be school aged at the same time. Kids who are in high school should be able to get themselves up, to the bathroom, wash their own faces, teeth, hair, take a shower, eat, and either drive themselves, carpool, or take a bus. If that's 5-6 of them, and the high school starts first, they should be out the door while the middle kids finish up and leave. That just leaves the little ones and that part would be a huge disaster and there's no way it's possible if you have less than at least 6 bathrooms and are OK with just leaving the littles at home with the nanny that you have to have because if you can afford to have 19 kids you should be able to afford a nanny at that point. 

[Melissa1977]

Of course a family with 19 kids can go to school on time. It is never 19 little ones. When #19 starts school, some siblings have finished college and others are at college and high school. 

Sometimes I snark on some Catholic fundies from my country. All of them go to private schools. Sure, they have sistermoms, maybe nannies, house looks like madness... but if they do it, Bates could have done, haven't they? 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I think technically the Bates could have done it. Kelly just wouldn’t because Jesus, and because it’s easier just to crappily homeschool them. 

[CanadianMamam]

9 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

Presumably, 19 kids wouldn't be all be school aged at the same time. Kids who are in high school should be able to get themselves up, to the bathroom, wash their own faces, teeth, hair, take a shower, eat, and either drive themselves, carpool, or take a bus. If that's 5-6 of them, and the high school starts first, they should be out the door while the middle kids finish up and leave. That just leaves the little ones and that part would be a huge disaster and there's no way it's possible if you have less than at least 6 bathrooms and are OK with just leaving the littles at home with the nanny that you have to have because if you can afford to have 19 kids you should be able to afford a nanny at that point. 

By the time Jeb was born, Zach, Michael, Erin, Lawson and Nate would have all aged out of traditional school. Alyssa, Tori, Trace and Carlin would have been in grades 9-12 (so high school), this is based on having to be a certain age by September 1st. Josie in Gr . 8, Katie in Gr. 6, Jackson Gr. 5, Warden Gr. 4, Isaiah Gr. 2, Addallee in Gr. 1 and Ellie in Kindergarten. So 11 in school at the same time, which would have been chaos for sure. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

If the Bates family lived close to the public schools, it may have been easier. But they would have had to ride the bus or be driven every day to 3 or 4 different schools. And if they had to ride the bus, they would have had to get up at the crack of Dawn to be at the bus stop on time every day. I know the Duggars and Bateses aren’t early risers. So that would’ve been another thing that would be difficult for them. Being a crappy homeschooler is easier than having a bunch of kids attending 3 or 4 public schools. 

[CanadianMamam]

8 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

If the Bates family lived close to the public schools, it may have been easier. But they would have had to ride the bus or be driven every day to 3 or 4 different schools. And if they had to ride the bus, they would have had to get up at the crack of Dawn to be at the bus stop on time every day. I know the Duggars and Bateses aren’t early risers. So that would’ve been another thing that would be difficult for them. Being a crappy homeschooler is easier than having a bunch of kids attending 3 or 4 public schools. 

Oh it absolutely would have been chaos. I get 3 kids ready for the bus every day and it is chaos. 

[SassyPants]

I’m still figuring out the logistics of the AM bathroom routine. 4-6  (X 3 groups)kids trying to use the same BR to get out the door at the same time…yes, it’s like a bad word problem. (Not showering but peeing, people!)*

Also, if they had had a structured schedule and somewhere to be, they likely would have had fewer night people, and small children going to bed after midnight.

Just talking about the logistics pisses me off. It makes me angry that they had a media platform to glamorize this lifestyle choice. What a crock of crap for all involved. You can be a kind, aware, and just Jesus lover without being an irresponsible breeder. 

* I’m well aware that older children meet many of their own needs, but still require time and a toilet on a regular basis.

[Maggie Mae]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

If the Bates family lived close to the public schools, it may have been easier. But they would have had to ride the bus or be driven every day to 3 or 4 different schools.

I mean, even normal families who live more than a mile from their school ride the bus if they aren't dropped off, and plenty of people have a kid in high school, a kid in elementary, and a kid in jr high. Or two in one and one in another. In my district, the school starts are staggered because we don't have enough busses or places to store busses for each school to have their own. Some areas have high schools next to elementary, or middle school/jr high, but some are pretty far apart. I don't think that would be the biggest problem for normal parents who are interested in getting their kids to school.  

I think trying to take care of a bunch of toddlers and an infant while trying to get kids in the 1st - 3rd grade ready, and dealing with pre-teen rebellion and a high schooler who doesn't want to wake up would be more challenging than just the logistics of who needs to go where and when. But that's me. I'm not good with bargaining. 

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

 I know the Duggars and Bateses aren’t early risers. 

I actually wonder if they aren't "early risers" because they don't have to be. I also sometimes think that the homeschooling fundies we follow are sort of stuck in that high school mindset where sleeping in is cool, so they brag about how they don't have to be places on time, not knowing that it makes them look lazy. 

10 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Sometimes I snark on some Catholic fundies from my country. All of them go to private schools. Sure, they have sistermoms, maybe nannies, house looks like madness... but if they do it, Bates could have done, haven't they? 

I know a non-fundie Catholic family with i think 8? The oldest was a senior in high school and having her first when her mom was having her last. Somehow they all managed to get off to school and some even did advanced college degrees. But that's the thing - in a lot of the country, a lot of Catholics actually value education for both men and women. 

[SassyPants]

Catholic schools also teach evolution and science that has been researched via the scientific process. RC’s are generally not Bible literalists-

[Ali]

I have three kids that go to three different schools. Mr. A will be responsible for making sure they get to school each day this school year. We lay clothes out the night before and have waters, etc ready to go before they wake up in the morning. If you prepare the night before and have a morning routine, it is doable.

[Jackie3]

On 9/2/2021 at 11:03 PM, Melissa1977 said:

Of course a family with 19 kids can go to school on time. It is never 19 little ones. 

 

Until there is. This lady is 24 and has 22 toddlers. She and her husband hired surrogates to birth the babies. I think she's been discussed here before. The situation is really astonishing.

https://www.instagram.com/batumi_mama/?hl=en