My 18 Year Old Son Answers The Questions From God's Daughter

[BoomerLynn]

This thread made me literally LOL. And now my 3 year old daughter is laughing at my lauging which is making me laugh harder. (I really hope that made sense) :lol:

[Austin]

I have a 15 year old and I know he would have no idea what I was asking him if I asked him these questions. He is like one like the nerds on the show "Big Bang Theory" and he wouldn't know what to do with a girl if she dropped in his lap. Now if she could design video games, then maybe... :dance:

Well, you never know. Sometimes it's those nerdy, quiet ones you have to watch out for :lol:

My nerdy, quiet one, who is 18, surprised the heck out of us last summer with. . . an opinion that he voiced about a girl. It was a very complimentary opinion. I wouldn't have never guessed he would have noticed. . . and with such detail :dance:

[emmiedahl]

My nerdy, quiet one, who is 18, surprised the heck out of us last summer with. . . an opinion that he voiced about a girl. It was a very complimentary opinion. I wouldn't have never guessed he would have noticed. . . and with such detail :dance:

My nerdy one is one of the most popular boys in school with girls throwing themselves in his path. Apparently that is what makes you cool in Central Washington. He did not even seem to see girls until about six months ago and now, well let's say he totally sees them.

[Trynn]

I sent the questions to my 15 year old little bother. He's still in school right now probably. I'll see if he actually answers them...he'll probably be like, wtf Jenny?

[kaetrin]

This little series of hers amuses me no end! It's such a flirtatious little teenage thing. It's couched in terms of "edification" -- you know, we're not flirting or thinking about BOYS, we're just interrogating boys about what they think about girls so that we can learn how to be modest! (because of course teenage boys are the experts on appropriate female behavior. :roll:) But it's got an unmistakable vibe of OMG BOYS think X and Y about MEEEEEEE.

[oscar]

Here's my brother's answers. He's 22.

1) What are your thoughts on modesty?

It's interesting to see what different people consider modest or immodest. Sometimes, I think people can get obsessed with modesty and lose sight of the point.

2) Some of us feel that we either give too much effort, or not enough, in worrying about the way we dress. What is your suggestion to how you wish girls would dress? What do you like to see girls wearing?

What is this monolithic "girls" thing? I would like to see M. (his girlfriend) in some outfits that would make me very uncomfortable if other girls would dress that way.

3) How do you feel about girls wearing makeup? I never really thought about it until one of my friends showed me all the products and effort needed to create the "natural" makeup look required by her internship. I realized it was a time-consuming, expensive thing that the women in her office needed to do, but the men didn't. If you mean little girls wearing makeup, like small children, there is a big difference between some Disney princess lipgloss or nail polish and kids who look like they are going out to the club. When I see very little girls wearing a lot of makeup, I worry about the parents.

4) A lot of girls worry about looking chic around guys…but what do you consider pretty? I think M. is really pretty, and it doesn't have anything to do with being "chic." I mean, she looks great when she's dressed up, but she's got great energy and a beautiful smile and that shows through all the time.

5) Do guys ever notice changes in girls? Hair styles, clothes, etc.? Some do, and some don't. I notice for guys and girls. It tells you a lot about a person when they choose to change their style.

6.) What is something that you want/look for, the most, in your future wife? This question hits a little close to home! Let's just say that work-life balance is important to me.

7) Do you often feel peer pressure from your friends? In any way, but mostly in the standards that you have set for your life? My friends and I have different goals and different standards. I don't think we need to copy one another.

8) What do you consider flirting and what do you think of a girl when she flirts with you? It can be awkward when someone who you aren't interested in that way expresses an interest in you, especially when there are cross-cultural communication issues. Like, an American girl might just be being friendly and outgoing and not mean anything by it, but if a Chinese girl flirts with you in the same way, she is probably straight-up interested in sleeping with you. When girls flirt with guys they are taking a risk because it isn't as culturally acceptable for girls to pursue guys, so I try to be careful with their feelings whether I was interested in them or not.

9) How do you feel about dating? Eh, this question is tough to interpret, because the word "dating" has a lot of connotations. Like, M. and I are dating, but our relationship is serious and exclusive - we live together! If I were single and going out with lots of girls, that would also be called "dating" but it would be a different thing.

10) If you agree w/ courting, how much involvement from YOUR parents do you believe is appropriate in helping you make a final choice in your future wife? OK, that dating question makes more sense now. I get that whoever made this survey wants to portray "dating" as a more casual thing, like hooking up, and "courting" as a serious process where you are looking for a spouse. Whoever wrote this thing has an agenda, probably a religious one, that they expect whoever is answering the questions to already understand. I didn't get that at first. But as for how much involvement Mom and Dad should have, they're both very perceptive and have great insight into people. If they expressed reservations about the character or intentions of someone I was dating, I would take them very seriously. I think it would take a lot to make them have an opinion in that way, so I would take them seriously.

11) When you’re interested in a girl, do you focus on her family too? Do you make it a point to get to know them as much as you want to get to know her? You remember when I broke up with K.? It was because she never wanted me to spend time with her family, and not because they were weird or crazy or anything. It was like she wanted to have the benefits of a relationship with me as an adult and get to know you guys, my family, without anything changing in how her family treated her or interacted with her. When a person starts pursuing a serious relationship, things sort of shift around in their family to treat them differently, make room for their partner and treat them as someone who can have a partner and isn't a kid anymore. It seemed like K. wasn't ready to grow up in that way. The way she didn't want me around her family was a big red flag.

So I think it would be creepy if I wanted to get to know my girlfriend's family as much as I wanted to get to know her, but I think I should have some knowledge of them.

12) What is your view on college for girls? What kind of questionnaire is this?! I read an article recently about how college is more important for women than men, because women need more education on average to make the same living as men can with less education. College is great for everyone, because you learn things you didn't even know you didn't know.

13) What is your dream job? And why? I'd like to work in public policy.

14) What do you think the man’s role is in the home – compared to the woman’s? This questionnaire is...yeah. It depends on the people in the relationship, because different people have different talents.

15) How many kids would you like to have? Two. Two or three, maybe. So I can send them all to college.

16) A lot of guys like using sarcasm around girls…do you know why that is? Some people are sarcastic to everyone because that's just their sense of humor. If a guy is sarcastic and cutting to women, but not to men, then I think he's got a problem.

17) Do guys like it when girls are tomboyish or more girlie? What does this even mean? Guys like it when girls share their interests and values, so that's how they're going to make their decision. If someone feels uncomfortable when girls are anything other than traditionally feminine, or conflates "girlie" with "submissive," "weak," "frivolous" or whatever, I think they've got a problem.

18) Is there anything that you would appreciate girls doing differently in order to help you maintain your purity? My brother said something to my husband and they both cracked up, but wouldn't repeat it to me. Evidently, it had something to do with his girlfriend giving him a hand in the shower.

19) What do you think about guys and girls hugging? I think most people are able to tell what behavior is situationally appropriate. Like, I'd hug someone who needed comforting even if they aren't someone I'd usually touch. I wouldn't hug someone who felt differently towards me than I did towards them.

20) When do you plan to have your first kiss? Wait, is this questionnaire intended for children? Like middle school kids? How many more questions are there in this thing?

21) How will you respond if God's plan is out of sync with your own? Sometimes you have to decide whether to fight for what you want in the face of challenges, or to go with the flow. How's that for an answer?

22) What do you think of girls posting pictures of guys on their blog? What kind of blog? Like, pictures of guys taken surreptitiously without their permission is not cool. If the guys are okay with it, why should I care?

23)Do you guys sometimes get weirded out by being friends with girls? Remember before when I mentioned cross-cultural communication issues? Those can be weird. Also, some of my female friends have definitely weirded me out at times, but then again, so have some of my male friends. I had to learn I can't fix everyone's problems or make them act the way I think they should, but that's just part of growing up.

24) What is one thing that girls do that you hate? I hate it when female housemates leave used feminine hygiene products lying around. That's disgusting.

25)To what degree should a guy and girl just 'be friends'? To what degree should they be betrothed? I think I know a little more what this questionnaire writer is all about now, so let me try to answer this question seriously. One way to meet your spouse is to become really good friends, get to know each other really well and gradually realize that you want to spend the rest of your lives together. That works for some people. Other people have an instant sexual attraction to one another, and then they have to figure out if it's just sex or if they are compatible in other ways as well. That works for other people. Different things work for different people.

[LynnKaboom]

I tried to ask my 14-year-old brother, but he looked at me like I'd grown an extra head. He did say he doesn't like bitches and he thinks skinny jeans are fugly, though.

[pomology]

I asked my 16yo son what he thinks about modesty in general. He said: "It's hard to concentrate on what someone is saying when they are wearing something distracting. It's even harder to concentrate on, say, history class. But it definitely improves the scenery."

Does he think girls should dress differently to be less distracting to boys? "That's stupid. They should wear what they want. I don't know what they would wear to make me not realize they have boobs. It's not their fault that we think of sex all the time."

What should girls wear? "Yoga pants are God's gift to man. The ladies think they are being sloppy and comfortable, but really they just look hot as hell." No, Tyler, I mean to be less hot. What should they wear to be less hot? "Why would they want to be less hot?" What about a skirt? "Skirts are nice. Really, they are even hotter than yoga pants. Why are you asking me all this, anyway?"

So, A. I am not raising a fundie, although maybe a bit of an ogler and B. There is nothing that a healthy, attractive girl can wear to make my hormone-infused teenager not notice they are healthy and attractive. I didn't ask him about purity; virginity is not a big deal around here.

emmiedahl, maybe you should show your son a frumper and ask him if girls would be attractive in that. I'm kinda curious what he'd say.

[Sola]

Managed to pin down my son long enough to get a few answers from him. He's 16 btw.

1) What are your thoughts on modesty?. Umm, I don't like girls to show everything. Girls like that at school are slappers.

2) Some of us feel that we either give too much effort, or not enough, in worrying about the way we dress. What is your suggestion to how you wish girls would dress? What do you like to see girls wearing? Dunno, jeans I suppose. But don;t have a muffin top. That's gross.

3) How do you feel about girls wearing makeup? They look daft when they have orange faces.

4) A lot of girls worry about looking chic around guys…but what do you consider pretty ? Dunno, brown hair and brown eyes is ok.

5) Do guys ever notice changes in girls? Hair styles, clothes, etc.? Not really.

6.) What is something that you want/look for, the most, in your future wife? Married? (he laughs here) I dunno, I suppose that she likes the things I like.

7) Do you often feel peer pressure from your friends? In any way, but mostly in the standards that you have set for your life Not really. At school people are bragging who has had sex, who has kissed who. But most of them are lying.

8) What do you consider flirting and what do you think of a girl when she flirts with you? (At this point my son had a deer in the headlights look on his face. He then giggled and didn't answer.)

9) How do you feel about dating? (he looked confused here so I explained about the fundie concept of not dating) They don't date?

If you agree w/ courting, how much involvement from YOUR parents do you believe is appropriate in helping you make a final choice in your future wife? (a look of pity came over his face here) Just no. There is no way you are telling me who I am going to marry. (I reassured him that I had no such intent.)

11) When you’re interested in a girl, do you focus on her family too? Do you make it a point to get to know them as much as you want to get to know her? This one doesn't apply as he hasn't yet had a girlfriend.

12) What is your view on college for girls? Why wouldn't girls go to college?

13) What is your dream job? And why? Games programmer.

14) What do you think the man’s role is in the home – compared to the woman’s Do people still think that way?

15) How many kids would you like to have? Dunno, a couple maybe. (As an aside, my son has Aspergers and has previously said that he doesn't want any neurotypical (non autistic) children. He wants aspergers children as he says he wouldn't know how to cope with a neurotypical child but he knows what it is like to be autistic).

16) A lot of guys like using sarcasm around girls…do you know why that is? Mum, I want to go back on runescape. Do we have to do this now?

And that was it. I was quite pleased we got so far actually. He usually just grunts at us!

[emmiedahl]

emmiedahl, maybe you should show your son a frumper and ask him if girls would be attractive in that. I'm kinda curious what he'd say.

Pretty sure he'd hate them. He thanked me a few weeks ago for not wearing mom jeans. I'll ask him when he gets home from school.

eta: he really like tomboyish girls. His girlfriends have all been ponytail and jeans types.

[deborahlynn1979]

Does he think girls should dress differently to be less distracting to boys? "That's stupid. They should wear what they want. I don't know what they would wear to make me not realize they have boobs."

emmiedahl, this made me laugh and laugh and laugh.

[debrand]

I like all the answers. Sola, your son sounds very sweet. Oscar, your brother sounds very intelligent and levelheaded.

[debrand]

emmiedahl, this made me laugh and laugh and laugh.

Me too

[emmiedahl]

So, I showed my son a picture of a denim jumper and asked if women should wear things like this. He said, "For, like painting?" He was totally serious. I said, no, like to be modest. He does not think frumpers are very attractive.

[FJismyheadship]

Ummm debrand can I meet your son? lol I like him already. I could get my parents to talk to yours and we could totally make a courtship happen here lol.

Although, I am five years older than him so maybe not...

[debrand]

Ummm debrand can I meet your son? lol I like him already. I could get my parents to talk to yours and we could totally make a courtship happen here lol.

Although, I am five years older than him so maybe not...

LOL Well, he says that he isn't going to get married until he's in his thirties so you might be waiting a few years to be his wife. He'd probably be open to dating though. :lol:

[annalena]

emmiedahl, maybe you should show your son a frumper and ask him if girls would be attractive in that. I'm kinda curious what he'd say.

actually, I have to agree, yoga pants ARE hot. Make a nice ass. :)

i love the comment "why would they want to be less hot"?? sounds like a perfectly regular 16 year old. boys at that age are just walking hormone bundles, really. and that's the way it is, it's no one's fault, but they'll have to deal with it. (teenage girls really aren't that much better. just for them it concentrates on certain days:)

i'm curious about the frumper question, too!

unfortunately, i have no teenage boy around i could ask these questions. i coul d ask my boyfriend, but i don't think he qualifies at 27. i know his answer to what girls /women should wear though (obviously, this only applies to 20 and up in his case). the answer would be the closest thing to nothing;)

when i told him about fundies and modesty once, he said he'd be a big fan of all women only wearing skirts. mini skirts, that is. :D he's also a hygiene freak, so whenever i wear a maxi dress/skirt he freaks out because it might touch the ground and all the dirt on it. i might carry it into our home. so its funny to see his expression whenever i show him frumpers:)

[Nothing2CHere]

Well, you never know. Sometimes it's those nerdy, quiet ones you have to watch out for :lol:

At my brother's wedding this past year, my cousin and I were commenting on her two sons (who are elementary school aged). The elder one brought - I forget now if it was a book or a portable gaming device - with him to the reception, and sat at a table most of the night playing/reading. Her younger son was on the dance floor with us, living it up. We both agreed, the younger one will be the social butterfly that all the girls flock around, but the elder one will be the quiet boy hanging out in the library, oblivious to the girls who pine for him, but are too shy to approach him (which is the type of boy we were both attracted to in high school :lol: )

Again, it's very refreshing reading these responses from the "worldly" guys and all their "wtf?" reactions to some of these questions. You all are doing something right!

[oscar]

Again, it's very refreshing reading these responses from the "worldly" guys and all their "wtf?" reactions to some of these questions. You all are doing something right!

It was really funny how my brother was taking the questionnaire so seriously at first, only gradually picking up on its agenda. And I liked reading the answers from the younger teenagers. They really highlighted how the fetishization of purity, modesty and courtship can be such a barrier to straightforward communication both within and about romantic relationships.

As an aside, I was interested to hear the reasons behind my brother's breakup with his previous girlfriend. I hadn't known that before.

[FJismyheadship]

This is my 21 year old brothers responce

1) What are your thoughts on modesty?. "It should be done away with"

2) Some of us feel that we either give too much effort, or not enough, in worrying about the way we dress. What is your suggestion to how you wish girls would dress? What do you like to see girls wearing? "The Bible that everyone holds so dear says come as you are, so I really don't give a shit"

3) How do you feel about girls wearing makeup? Is that a trick question? Yeah thats a trick question. Every answer that I could give would be wrong because there would be some girl somewhere that wouldn't believe it no matter what I said. Thats like asking "Does this dress make me look fat"

4) A lot of girls worry about looking chic around guys…but what do you consider pretty ?I A look that isn't forced.

5) Do guys ever notice changes in girls? Hair styles, clothes, etc.? Sometimes we're just smart enough to pretend not to.

6.) What is something that you want/look for, the most, in your future wife? Someone who won't burn my house down.

7) Do you often feel peer pressure from your friends? Fuck no.

8) What do you consider flirting and what do you think of a girl when she flirts with you? Flirting is a natural response to meeting a new member of the opposite sex regardless of your current social standing. If you're single, married, or attached, regardless of whether or not you are attracted to someone you inadvertently flirt with them

9) How do you feel about dating? How should I feel about dating? No, don't put that. I think its overcomplicated.

10) If you agree w/ courting, how much involvement from YOUR parents do you believe is appropriate in helping you make a final choice in your future wife? I don't believe in courting. Courting is old fashioned. I'm chivalrous not a tool to my parents thank you very much.

11) When you’re interested in a girl, do you focus on her family too? Do you make it a point to get to know them as much as you want to get to know her? If her family doesn't like me, tough shit. I'm not looking to impress anyone.

12) What is your view on college for girls? Go for it.

13) What is your dream job? And why? Something where I don't have to do a heinous amount of work. And that's pretty self explanatory.

14) What do you think the man’s role is in the home – compared to the woman’s "Insert anti chauvinist comment here"

15) How many kids would you like to have? three or less. I'm cool with none.

16) A lot of guys like using sarcasm around girls…do you know why that is? Its humorous!

17) Do guys like it when girls are tomboyish or more girlie? I want my girlfriend to have an opinion and that's all I'll ever say on the subject.

18) Is there anything that you would appreciate girls doing differently in order to help you maintain your purity? I will be as impure as I want to.

19) What do you think about guys and girls hugging? Side-hugs are bullshit.

20) When do you plan to have your first kiss? Gee I think that happened about ten years ago. I'm twentyf**ing one for God's sake.

21) How will you respond if God's plan is out of sync with your own?

God's plan can suck my d**k

22) What do you think of girls posting pictures of guys on their blog? More power to them

23)Do you guys sometimes get weirded out by being friends with girls? Hell no. Only if you're Jim Bob Duggar.

24) What is one thing that girls do that you hate? They always have to argue, even when they agree with you.

25)To what degree should a guy and girl just 'be friends'? To what degree should they be betrothed? Friends with benefits, betrothed with commitments.

[nutella addict]

Oh man these answers were fantastic :D I don't think I'd be able to get my 23-year-old boyfriend to answer, and at any rate I already know most of his answers which are, basically, "I think you're pretty in a big t-shirt and running shorts with your hair all frizzy. I don't care." and "Do go to college. No, go wherever you want, it's stupid to force ourselves to go to the same school when our favorite schools are different ones. Yes, go get a Masters. Have fun!" and also "You better not be submissive. I don't want to be making all the decisions. We're equal!" roughly speaking, anyhow. Hardly verbatim, just a summary of the last 7 years.

As for my 19yo brother....he may be busy watching a game or playing Star Craft 2 or whatever he plays these days, but I'll see if I can get a few answers out of him later tonight when I get home from work :-p

[Joykins]

25)To what degree should a guy and girl just 'be friends'? To what degree should they be betrothed? Friends with benefits, betrothed with commitments.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[camdendayton]

I thought about sending this to my 25 year-old brother, but he just graduated from grad school and is busy starting a business. Which made me think, he'd be a fundie-get, then I remembered it's physical therapy and he has to *gasp* touch women, so unless he was willing to give up 50% of all potential clilents....

[nutella addict]

I only got through a few questions so far with my brother, but maybe I can get through more another time. Two of the ones I did get:

2) Some of us feel that we either give too much effort, or not enough, in worrying about the way we dress. What is your suggestion to how you wish girls would dress? What do you like to see girls wearing? Slutty as possible

5) Do guys ever notice changes in girls? Hair styles, clothes, etc.? It’d be hard not to notice to an extent, but you know, when Mom comes home [from the hairdresser] it’s a different hairstyle, but I never fucking notice.

[He also rambled a bit thinking out loud about how, being straight, how could he not notice girls, but how, also, being stereotypically straight, he's not all that likely to notice brands/more subtle hair changes/clothing styles/that sort of thing.]

He doesn't actually usually go for "slutty" girls though. Huh.