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nelliebelle1197

Mills Family 5: YouTube Really Is Optional

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3splenty
10 hours ago, OyHiOh said:

Just saying . . . . the "death and dying are private" thing . . . . well that mentality leads to caregivers, friends/family, and people approaching death feeling incredibly isolated.  Conversation, yes, in public forums like this one, about our experiences of living and death ease our own isolation and make death just a little easier for the next person whether facing their own or that of a loved one.  Not everyone handles that conversation well (looking at you, Tom) but that doesn't mean we should not share details of experience and what we felt.

For an hour after Mr Oy passed, I sat with my arms wrapped around one of his.  I don't think anyone could have pried me away if they'd tried.  A couple people I've told this to have said they thought it was a "weird" reaction.  I tell that story because someone, eventually, is going to sit next to the bed of a loved one who just passed or is close to, and wonder if it's weird to sit the way I did.  No, no it's not weird.  It's only weird because we don't talk about our experiences of death out loud.  

Death and dying deserve the same love, caring, and dignity as life's beginning.  Death is a natural part of life.  Sometimes knowing someone else has been in the same situation is comforting.  Knowing the body is going to do some unusual things (incontinence, color changes, etc.) is important.  Knowing you can reach out, ask questions, and/or vent is comforting.  Being able to cope and mourn, yet celebrate your loved one's life, is vital.  Death makes the living behave irrationally, that's for sure.  Grief has no timelines, no rules.  And that's okay.  No one knows how they will react until they are in that situation.  

As a family member once told me, "Dad hasn't looked that much at peace in a long time.  He's well at last.  Part of me died, but part of him lives there now."

Edited by 3splenty
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Dizzy
nelliebelle1197
2 minutes ago, 3splenty said:

Death and dying deserve the same love, caring, and dignity as life's beginning.  Death is a natural part of life.  Sometimes knowing someone else has been in the same situation is comforting.  Knowing the body is going to do some unusual things (incontinence, color changes, etc.) is important.  Knowing you can reach out, ask questions, and/or vent is comforting.  Being able to cope and mourn, yet celebrate your loved one's life, is vital.  Death makes the living behave irrationally, that's for sure.  Grief has no timelines, no rules.  And that's okay.  No one knows how they will react until they are in that situation.  

As a family member once told me, "Dad hasn't looked that much at peace in a long time.  He's well at last.  Part of me died, but part of him lives there now."

Oh wow. That is brilliant. Your family member needs to write  philosophy.

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MayMay1123
11 hours ago, OyHiOh said:

 

For an hour after Mr Oy passed, I sat with my arms wrapped around one of his.  I don't think anyone could have pried me away if they'd tried.  A couple people I've told this to have said they thought it was a "weird" reaction.  I tell that story because someone, eventually, is going to sit next to the bed of a loved one who just passed or is close to, and wonder if it's weird to sit the way I did.  No, no it's not weird.  It's only weird because we don't talk about our experiences of death out loud.  

when Grace died, she was held for 3 days-by her parents, her sister, her grandparents, her uncle. its something that gives me so much comfort. i have been reading a facebook page for parents (and grands) who have had miscarriages and stillbirths and baby deaths, its incredible what i never knew because i'd never experienced it, because no one talks about it. why shouldn't we talk about death? it happens to everyone.

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treehugger

Last lent one of our priests led a workshop on human mortality.  We spent two weeks going over the history of death and dying and mortality in the ancient church (and touched briefly on how certain ancient cultures viewed death), and then spent the last week discussing how death has never been more isolated, sanitized, and lonely than it is now.  It is seen as something abnormal, instead of being acknowledged as one of the few guarantees of life.  It was a brilliant, guided discussion, and, I think, a very necessary one.  

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Giraffe

Caitlin Doughty is a mortician with the YouTube channel “Ask a Mortician.” Her purpose is to normalize death & grieving. I highly recommend checking her out. 

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EmainMacha

In my part of Ireland we still wake people in their own homes. Normally for 2 nights and then burial on the 3rd day. Unless family have to come from away, in which case everything is extended by a day or two. When I tell people here in England about our practices they think it's horrific. Most people don't seem to have ever seen a dead body. Whereas I've been going to wakes since childhood and I sat with my dad's body for 3 days and then slept in the room we'd waked him in when he was buried.

Death comes to us all. It can be frightening but pretending that we won't all experience it, or that it will be a filmesque moment with no pain, mess and an opportunity for meaningful last words, helps no-one.

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SilverBeach
12 hours ago, OyHiOh said:

the "death and dying are private" thing

For some it is, for some it isn't. Whatever helps you make it through the loss. I'm private which goes along with my introversion. Tom Mills is disgusting though. It's isn't so much his public "mourning", it is his focusing only on his own needs while ignoring those of his children. And the grifting. Ugh.

FJ is so damn tolerant of obvious trolls, not the place for this discussion but damn. Fuck them, derailing, attention grabbing motherfuckers. 

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3splenty
33 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

For some it is, for some it isn't. Whatever helps you make it through the loss. I'm private which goes along with my introversion. Tom Mills is disgusting though. It's isn't so much his public "mourning", it is his focusing only on his own needs while ignoring those of his children. And the grifting. Ugh.

I agree.  Everyone grieves differently, and that's okay.  But even when you grieve, you still see the others grieving right along side you.  You share your grief, work through things together.  Everyone's grief is equally important.  That's what makes me so annoyed with Tom.  Tom is not the only person who is facing the loss.

Edited by 3splenty

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Palimpsest

A quick FYI in case people are still upset by that very ugly post on the previous page. 

The troll (and her sock) have now been banned.  Nasty.  More info and an opportunity to discuss what went down in detail is in the community discussion forum.  https://www.freejinger.org/topic/33074-disappointing-update/?tab=comments#comment-1872758

 

A lot of very wise things have been said here about death and grief in the aftermath of the trolling, however, so she unintentionally started a good and productive discussion. 

Death and individual responses to death should be talked about freely and openly.  It is a part of life.  Many thanks to everyone here who shared their stories.   

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Mom2Bubby

Finally had a chance to watch the live from the other night-part 1 anyway. As usual Tom was holed up in his bedroom with Andreas hair braid on full display( for sympathy probably).
 

Right off the bat someone asked where Rachel was. He was feeling so sorry for himself and how sad he was. Never mentioned what a tough time his kids might be having though. Little girls came to the door and he told them to go to bed. 
 

Someone said to think of his girlfriend and he wouldn’t be sad anymore. He said “only if”. Talked about drinking distilled water because he’s a water snob. Says it tastes better than other kinds of water and it’s 100 percent water with no chemicals or additives. He said distilled water doesn’t boil. He said he has thought about getting a water distiller many times but hasn’t. ( bet he gets one now). Someone asked him how he knew so much and that he was amazing with all the knowledge he had. 🤮 

someone said Tom and Rachel should date. Someone else said they thought she was taken. She never spoke up and said she was married. She didn’t say anything again until almost the end of the video. ( maybe she was off somewhere crying and rocking herself into a stupor-lol)   
 

he said he wasn’t a very good student in high school but he was a straight A student in college and he graduated summa cum laude. He got a bachelors degree in information technology. (Too bad his kids won’t have that chance). Said he didn’t like calculus but loved history and wished he’d paid more attention to that. A trust he had from his grandfather paid for part of his college but he paid the rest. 
 

he said he doesn't really drink soda. He likes root beer but that’s about it. He said he wouldn’t mind trying different brands to see which he likes best. ( see what he did there? Now im sure his fans will be sending root beer to him). 
 

Tom said he’s doing crappy emotionally. But kids are fine. Hasn’t started bathroom remodel yet. Waiting on plumber to call him back. 
 

someone wants him to do a live when he makes bread. Another person asked if he has been to the cemetery yet. He said no as he really didn’t want to go. He said he probably should take the kids as he’s sure some of them would want to go. 
 

someone asked if he could meet any historical figure who would it be. He said he didn’t fantasize about meeting someone as he knew It could never happen. But if he were to meet someone it would be Isaac Newton just so tom could tell him where he was wrong. Tom said he likes to prove to people they are wrong. He won’t fantasize about meeting someone from the past because it’s well, fantastical,  but he will play Magic and play video games. Ok then. 
 

said again he’s pretty much sad all the time. Some asked a few times if mental health is important to him and he said he wasn’t sure why that kept coming up but of course he thought it was important.  
 

one of the little girls came to his door again and told him she had a loose tooth. He said they would discuss it in the morning and to go back to bed. 
 

his friend chad asked a bible question. That got the Bible talk started. A few people said they didn’t want to hear bible study during a random live. Other people said they were ok with it. 
 

someone asked if they would be getting a puppy. He said no not right away. They were enjoying not having a dog. 
 

some asked if he would like to travel. He said yes but he didn’t want to spend money to travel when he should be using his money to feed his kids and he thought traveling was a waste of money  
 

didn’t see superfan 2.0.(Tora).  If she was there she must have changed her name And photo. 
 

girls kept being noisy so tom went into their room to tell them to go to bed.
 

Someone asked him if he was still talking to the girl and he said no. someone said he was so knowledgeable and said such astounding things all the time. 
 

someone dared to have a difference of opinion from toms friend chad and his minions went off on her. Chad asked her if she was trolling. She said she has been a subscriber longer than chad had been so no she wasn’t trolling. A couple of people said this is why they don’t comment a lot because they get ganged up on for having a different opinion on things. Tom said he liked to hear different opinions on the bible so he could disagree with people and tell them they were wrong. He said he likes to be able to tell people they are wrong. 
 

now he’s quoting the bible in Greek. He says he’s talking in Greek the way Jesus would have and not the way Greek was spoken today. 
 

someone donated $25 in a super chat. 
 

52 minutes in someone asked what happened to Rachel as she wasn’t commenting. So of course she comments on something totally different and not that question. Someone said Rachel and tom should really get together. 
she didn’t comment on that either. 
 

a lot of people said the live was buffering a lot and they couldn’t see or hear so tom said he would stop the live and go live again on his phone. He said there were only 413 people watching so he knew he was losing people because of the buffering issue. ( not because he’s an asshat issue). 
 

Someone asked how grandma fern was doing. He said he had video of her he needed to get done. And then he went off and started a live 2.0. I haven’t been able to watch that one yet. 
 

 

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Queen Of Hearts

Ugh to whoever the morons are who are trying to push Tom and Rachel together.  You'd think that Rachel would speak up that she was married (to Mr. 10%) but like the loser she is she keeps quiet and probably is loving that people want them together.  

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can'tstopwatching
35 minutes ago, Mom2Bubby said:

He says he’s talking in Greek the way Jesus would have and not the way Greek was spoken today. 

I was wondering if he saw the comments about his pronunciation on here when I heard this. But this isn’t an excuse, as I said he got multiple word endings totally wrong 😂 I don’t even know modern Greek so that’s not the issue!

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Caroline

He probably didn't do well in high school because he knew more than all of those stupid teachers.

Lots of people get better grades in college because they GROW UP and have to PAY for their classes.  Also: How does he know how people in Bible times spoke Greek?  Does he have some recording no one else has ever heard?   I can't stand know-it-all men like him.  

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Ozlsn
4 hours ago, Mom2Bubby said:

Tom said he liked to hear different opinions on the bible so he could disagree with people and tell them they were wrong. He said he likes to be able to tell people they are wrong.

Ugh, what a tool. One of those guys who doesn't listen at all because he's too busy working out how he'll prove how superior he is to you. I imagine he's a mansplainer par excellence on other topics he knows very little about too.

4 hours ago, Mom2Bubby said:

But if he were to meet someone it would be Isaac Newton just so tom could tell him where he was wrong.

On... alchemy? OK, but only if he can also explain why. On... gravity? I'm sure Tom's math is totally up to that task, heh. On Christianity? Hopefully Newton would lob apples at him and yell at him in Greek until he went away, heh.

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Olivia Marie
5 hours ago, Mom2Bubby said:

Finally had a chance to watch the live from the other night-part 1 anyway. As usual Tom was holed up in his bedroom with Andreas hair braid on full display( for sympathy probably).
 

Right off the bat someone asked where Rachel was. He was feeling so sorry for himself and how sad he was. Never mentioned what a tough time his kids might be having though. Little girls came to the door and he told them to go to bed. 
 

Someone said to think of his girlfriend and he wouldn’t be sad anymore. He said “only if”. Talked about drinking distilled water because he’s a water snob. Says it tastes better than other kinds of water and it’s 100 percent water with no chemicals or additives. He said distilled water doesn’t boil. He said he has thought about getting a water distiller many times but hasn’t. ( bet he gets one now). Someone asked him how he knew so much and that he was amazing with all the knowledge he had. 🤮 

someone said Tom and Rachel should date. Someone else said they thought she was taken. She never spoke up and said she was married. She didn’t say anything again until almost the end of the video. ( maybe she was off somewhere crying and rocking herself into a stupor-lol)   
 

he said he wasn’t a very good student in high school but he was a straight A student in college and he graduated summa cum laude. He got a bachelors degree in information technology. (Too bad his kids won’t have that chance). Said he didn’t like calculus but loved history and wished he’d paid more attention to that. A trust he had from his grandfather paid for part of his college but he paid the rest. 
 

he said he doesn't really drink soda. He likes root beer but that’s about it. He said he wouldn’t mind trying different brands to see which he likes best. ( see what he did there? Now im sure his fans will be sending root beer to him). 
 

Tom said he’s doing crappy emotionally. But kids are fine. Hasn’t started bathroom remodel yet. Waiting on plumber to call him back. 
 

someone wants him to do a live when he makes bread. Another person asked if he has been to the cemetery yet. He said no as he really didn’t want to go. He said he probably should take the kids as he’s sure some of them would want to go. 
 

someone asked if he could meet any historical figure who would it be. He said he didn’t fantasize about meeting someone as he knew It could never happen. But if he were to meet someone it would be Isaac Newton just so tom could tell him where he was wrong. Tom said he likes to prove to people they are wrong. He won’t fantasize about meeting someone from the past because it’s well, fantastical,  but he will play Magic and play video games. Ok then. 
 

said again he’s pretty much sad all the time. Some asked a few times if mental health is important to him and he said he wasn’t sure why that kept coming up but of course he thought it was important.  
 

one of the little girls came to his door again and told him she had a loose tooth. He said they would discuss it in the morning and to go back to bed. 
 

his friend chad asked a bible question. That got the Bible talk started. A few people said they didn’t want to hear bible study during a random live. Other people said they were ok with it. 
 

someone asked if they would be getting a puppy. He said no not right away. They were enjoying not having a dog. 
 

some asked if he would like to travel. He said yes but he didn’t want to spend money to travel when he should be using his money to feed his kids and he thought traveling was a waste of money  
 

didn’t see superfan 2.0.(Tora).  If she was there she must have changed her name And photo. 
 

girls kept being noisy so tom went into their room to tell them to go to bed.
 

Someone asked him if he was still talking to the girl and he said no. someone said he was so knowledgeable and said such astounding things all the time. 
 

someone dared to have a difference of opinion from toms friend chad and his minions went off on her. Chad asked her if she was trolling. She said she has been a subscriber longer than chad had been so no she wasn’t trolling. A couple of people said this is why they don’t comment a lot because they get ganged up on for having a different opinion on things. Tom said he liked to hear different opinions on the bible so he could disagree with people and tell them they were wrong. He said he likes to be able to tell people they are wrong. 
 

now he’s quoting the bible in Greek. He says he’s talking in Greek the way Jesus would have and not the way Greek was spoken today. 
 

someone donated $25 in a super chat. 
 

52 minutes in someone asked what happened to Rachel as she wasn’t commenting. So of course she comments on something totally different and not that question. Someone said Rachel and tom should really get together. 
she didn’t comment on that either. 
 

a lot of people said the live was buffering a lot and they couldn’t see or hear so tom said he would stop the live and go live again on his phone. He said there were only 413 people watching so he knew he was losing people because of the buffering issue. ( not because he’s an asshat issue). 
 

Someone asked how grandma fern was doing. He said he had video of her he needed to get done. And then he went off and started a live 2.0. I haven’t been able to watch that one yet. 
 

 

Thanks for taking another one for the team.   Just reading about him and his ignorance sends me into outer space.     The only thing that ever changes in his videos is.....they get worse.  How is that humanly possible??  

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Whooping_Butt

Tom, you crouton! Jesus spoke Aramaic! 

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Don'tlikekoolaid
27 minutes ago, Whooping_Butt said:

Tom, you crouton! Jesus spoke Aramaic! 

Did he really?  I always assumed he spoke Hebrew.  Are you pulling our leg? I thought Aramaic was a town in Australia or something.  I’m so confused. 🤔

Edited by Don'tlikekoolaid
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Nervous
Whooping_Butt
8 minutes ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

Did he really?  I always assumed he spoke Hebrew.  Are you pulling our leg? I thought Aramaic was a town in Australia or something.  I’m so confused. 🤔

Not pulling your leg! My source:

“It is generally agreed by historians that Jesus and his disciplesprimarily spoke Aramaic,[1][2]the common language of Judea in the first century AD, most likely a Galilean dialectdistinguishable from that of Jerusalem.[3]The villages of Nazarethand Capernaum in Galilee, where Jesus spent most of his time, were Aramaic-speaking communities.[4]It is also likely that Jesus knew enough Koine Greek to converse with those not native to Palestine, and it is also possible that Jesus knew some Hebrew for religious purposes.[5][6][7]”

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_of_Jesus
 

Grain of salt and all, but I’d trust the sources from Wikipedia over Tom. 
 

ETA: There was also a lot of buzz when Passion of the Christ came out about the dialog being in Aramaic. That’s how I knew Tom was probably wrong, but I googled to be sure. 

Edited by Whooping_Butt
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apandaaries
18 minutes ago, Whooping_Butt said:

Not pulling your leg! My source:

“It is generally agreed by historians that Jesus and his disciplesprimarily spoke Aramaic,[1][2]the common language of Judea in the first century AD, most likely a Galilean dialectdistinguishable from that of Jerusalem.[3]The villages of Nazarethand Capernaum in Galilee, where Jesus spent most of his time, were Aramaic-speaking communities.[4]It is also likely that Jesus knew enough Koine Greek to converse with those not native to Palestine, and it is also possible that Jesus knew some Hebrew for religious purposes.[5][6][7]”

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_of_Jesus
 

Grain of salt and all, but I’d trust the sources from Wikipedia over Tom. 

My money is here, too. I’ve known many a Hebrew man devoted to the “original text.” Much love, sugars, as times have changed!

Yet I’ll never get over idiots like Tom proclaiming themselves as prophets, no need for (or mildy  versions of) ancient translations whatsoever. 
Cool, cool. Totally cool.🙄

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Nervous
Whooping_Butt
3 minutes ago, apandaaries said:

My money is here, too. I’ve known many a Hebrew man devoted to the “original text.” Much love, sugars, as times have changed!

Yet I’ll never get over idiots like Tom proclaiming themselves as prophets, no need for (or mildy  versions of) ancient translations whatsoever. 
Cool, cool. Totally cool.🙄

Yes! Look, I could be backing the wrong pony here. I am not a biblical scholar. But neither is Tom, so...

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Queen Of Hearts

Other than the weekly Bible study, I don't think Tom has done a live since the one earlier in the week. Maybe he is busy wooing a 3rd fool?  He tends to go quiet when he things he has met the next Mrs. Mills.

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Ozlsn
14 minutes ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

Other than the weekly Bible study, I don't think Tom has done a live since the one earlier in the week. Maybe he is busy wooing a 3rd fool?  He tends to go quiet when he things he has met the next Mrs. Mills.

Please any available deities no. Just... no. Hopefully he's bedridden with flu, or his internet connection has died or the idea that he should stay off Youtube has finally penetrated and he's giving it a shot.

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Petronella

 

 

14 hours ago, Mom2Bubby said:

Right off the bat someone asked where Rachel was.

[snip]

Someone said to think of his girlfriend and he wouldn’t be sad anymore. He said “only if”. 

[snip]

someone said Tom and Rachel should date. 

 

 

What the hell? Must be trolling. Must be. Right?

14 hours ago, Mom2Bubby said:

someone asked if he could meet any historical figure who would it be. He said he didn’t fantasize about meeting someone as he knew It could never happen. But if he were to meet someone it would be Isaac Newton just so tom could tell him where he was wrong.

I...really? Really? His sole reason to want to meet someone would be to tell them where they're wrong? Not to learn something new himself? Wow.

14 hours ago, Mom2Bubby said:

Some asked a few times if mental health is important to him and he said he wasn’t sure why that kept coming up but of course he thought it was important.  

If people kept asking me if I cared about mental health I hope I would take the hint...

14 hours ago, Mom2Bubby said:

one of the little girls came to his door again and told him she had a loose tooth. He said they would discuss it in the morning and to go back to bed.

Depends how loose it is. It's a possible choking issue. Would it kill him to give her a snuggle and say "show me, sweetie?"

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Mom2Bubby
7 hours ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

Other than the weekly Bible study, I don't think Tom has done a live since the one earlier in the week. Maybe he is busy wooing a 3rd fool?  He tends to go quiet when he things he has met the next Mrs. Mills.

He hasn’t posted any new videos but he did make a post on his Facebook page. He said he was going through papers and found something that Andrea had made that upset him. It was a nature notebook page. He hung It on the mirror in his bedroom. (It’s a public post). 

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unsafetydancer
On 1/25/2020 at 2:51 PM, Giraffe said:

Caitlin Doughty is a mortician with the YouTube channel “Ask a Mortician.” Her purpose is to normalize death & grieving. I highly recommend checking her out.

I love her channel! Honestly, I used to think it was a bit weird that I liked watching her videos but they're actually pretty comforting. She makes death a wee bit less scary.

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