Explaining Your Fundie Fascination to People You Know

[danvillebelle]

Nobody knows I read and post here regularly (that I know of).

That's the reason I come here - I don't have anyone else to discuss these topics with.  ❤️

[Loveday]

I don't talk about my fundie fascination with anyone besides my husband and, very occasionally, my mother, who used to watch the Duggars a lot until I started pointing out some of their extreme weirdness. My husband follows the Leah Remini Scientology story pretty closely, so he gets it, to a point. He does think I spend too much time reading about our fundie friends, but when I point out how much time he spends watching Big Brother/Naked and Afraid/Law and Order SVU/ etc, and how little time I spend watching any television at all so this is MY entertainment, he always backs down.

I've mentioned Jill R to him a couple of times, but I've never actually shown him a photo of her. I'm kind of afraid to.   

[Cora Persephona]

My best friend knows about my fascination with religion (just from a historical and cultural point of view, I am not religious myself) and she knows I read a forum for fundie-watchers. We don't discuss it very often, but once in a while I tell her some of the more outrageous stuff or tell her about things I learned from the community here regarding religion or other stuff. I actually learned a lot from this community even from OT discussions.

I think there is one other friend I mentioned FJ to, but we don't really speak about it. 

ETA: My best friend and I text each other when we see people handing tracts or soul winning on the streets (we don't have a lot of them, but we get the occasional Mormon or Jehovah's Witness). We always wonder if they manage to convert anyone, we live in a pretty homogenous country religion-wise, most people are not generally very open to learning about or "trying" other religions, even if it's just a different flavour of Christianity.

 

Edited July 10, 2019 by Cora Persephona
Added fundie sightings

[JMO]

No one IRL knows that I'm on here.  My husband knows that I watch "shows about families with too many kids."  He hates the Duggars with a fiery passion.  I don't think he knows about the Bateseses but I'm sure he'd feel the same way.   I don't know anyone that would understand my fascination with them.  I can't explain it.  

[Eponine]

My partner knows I have a general fascination with religious fundamentalists, mostly the ones with huge groups of kids. But he really doesn't get the Christian fundamentalist angle on this at all since it's not really a thing in our area and we have other much more visible  and low-key fundamentalist groups here. So he's a lot more interested in them because they live in our area. He's literally never had an interaction with a Christian fundie like the ones we discuss so he just doesn't understand why they concern me so much.

He likes to hear about them, though, in the same way someone might want to hear about an alien species. ? I don't specifically talk about FJ to him.

[Marian the Librarian]

I have this long-held fantasy that someone will see me scrolling through "Quiver Full of Snark" while waiting in line at the grocery store or bank, and say "Free Jinger? Me too!!!" It hasn't happened yet, and my interest goes back to 2008, when I found a copy of the Botkin sisters' DVD "Return of the Daughters" in my library. That was my portal to the Botkin/VF/fundie rabbit hole, and there's been no going back.

Mr. MtL knows all about my interest, and I'll occasionally share stories with him. He gets it - he is no fan of extremism or patriarchy. Thanks to FJ, I nicknamed him my Good Headship Lollipop, and he approves 

[SrMaryEloquentia]

I‘ve mentioned my fundie fascination a few times, and it was always received as „well, she‘s been into all sorts of weird stuff before....“. 

I haven’t yet found someone irl to snark about my favorite fundies, unfortunately. My idea of a perfect date is dinner, a Marvel movie and snarking about Ken Ham‘s Answers in Genesis - a girl can still have dreams ?. 

[Tenyari]

I got my mom interested in the Rodrigues family after showing her a very snark-worthy photo of Jill and then telling her a little about the RV and the poor kids. Now she asks me for updates about the children from time to time and genuinely feels sorry for them. 

[ClareDeLune]

I am always embarassed with myself if I let slip what I have read on here to anyone in real life. The Duggars only seem to come up in terrible right-wing English newspapers like the Daily Mail so it must make me seem extra weird to know more about them than a paper I don't even read. ?

[Lady Grass Lake]

I can't remember how I found FreeJinger, but it was after watching the Duggars on TV, but I'm not a leg humper.  My Husband and Adult sons know only that I read articles on Fundies, but nothing about FreeJinger.  I'm an extreme introvert, more happy with my own company most days, and have difficulty with having friends.  I will talk to people but don't enjoy big parties.  When I retired last May I asked for a department only pizza party instead of a big corporate shindig they offered, I'm just not comfortable being the focus of a huge gathering.   Between reading books, the internet, sewing and crafts and most recently quilting, I fill my time and I'm not often lonely, but I do with I had someone or more than one person to discuss everything going on here.  

 

[freethemall]

My husband knows, but sometimes is disturbed when I mention non-famous families like the Maxwell's (famous by mainstream standards), because then it seems like I'm just reading about random families. But then I'll tell him about weird shit like cutting lettuce with a pizza slicer or anything JRod and he seems amused, now and then will even say "you should post this on your forum".

Most of my friends know about my love for reading FLDS/polygamy escape memoirs (Carolyn Jessop, Elissa Wall, etc) and some share it. Thus I have friends who know I have a fascination with fundamentalist Christians, but not to the extent of FJ.

The weirdest is when someone I know casually brings up the Duggars and asks "do you know them?" and Ill talk a little about them but reserve just how much I know...

[NachosFlandersStyle]

I'm pretty open about the fact that I love finding kooky shit on the internet, and that I read a good deal about the far right and keep an eye on various extremists. For me FJ is one part of a more general interest in keeping tabs on frightening loons from white supremacists to QAnon wackos, and if someone asks why I'm looking at some fundie blog I'll explain it in that context. But the extent to which I know the details of random strangers' personal lives is my little secret.

[Caroline]

I'm not embarrassed at all to tell people of my interest/obsession with the fundamentalist crowd.  I like to educate people about the dangers of evangelical beliefs mixing with politics and potentially changing our country's established laws. I've been concerned about this since the days of Reagan and the Moral Majority.  There are too many people (normal religious and non-religious) who don't have any idea about these people and their poisonous beliefs (looking at you, Lori Alexander.)

18 hours ago, freethemall said:

My husband knows, but sometimes is disturbed when I mention non-famous families like the Maxwell's (famous by mainstream standards), because then it seems like I'm just reading about random families. But then I'll tell him about weird shit like cutting lettuce with a pizza slicer or anything JRod and he seems amused, now and then will even say "you should post this on your forum".

Most of my friends know about my love for reading FLDS/polygamy escape memoirs (Carolyn Jessop, Elissa Wall, etc) and some share it. Thus I have friends who know I have a fascination with fundamentalist Christians, but not to the extent of FJ.

The weirdest is when someone I know casually brings up the Duggars and asks "do you know them?" and Ill talk a little about them but reserve just how much I know...

Have you read "Under the Banner of Heaven"?  That's where I learned so much about the FLDS and how they don't represent mainstream Mormons.

[freethemall]

5 hours ago, Caroline said:

I'm not embarrassed at all to tell people of my interest/obsession with the fundamentalist crowd.  I like to educate people about the dangers of evangelical beliefs mixing with politics and potentially changing our country's established laws. I've been concerned about this since the days of Reagan and the Moral Majority.  There are too many people (normal religious and non-religious) who don't have any idea about these people and their poisonous beliefs (looking at you, Lori Alexander.)

Have you read "Under the Banner of Heaven"?  That's where I learned so much about the FLDS and how they don't represent mainstream Mormons.

Oh yes, trust me I've read about 20 of these FLDS books. Krakauers is probably my favorite, but also because I love everything he writes. I also love everything about the LeBaron Mexico sect.

But a correction: while all these books show how separate they are from mainstream Mormons, Krakauers is unique in that it shows there are some fucked up beliefs inherent in Mormonism and its history that allow for evil fundamentalists like Warren Jeff's and Ervil LeBaron to happen.

Edited July 12, 2019 by freethemall

[Antipatriarch]

14 hours ago, freethemall said:

Oh yes, trust me I've read about 20 of these FLDS books. Krakauers is probably my favorite

Krakauer is a good writer. In addition to "Under the Banner of Heaven" on FLDS, I found "Into Thin Air" really interesting, which explores what it's like to train for and climb Mt. Everest.

[Caroline]

15 hours ago, freethemall said:

Oh yes, trust me I've read about 20 of these FLDS books. Krakauers is probably my favorite, but also because I love everything he writes. I also love everything about the LeBaron Mexico sect.

But a correction: while all these books show how separate they are from mainstream Mormons, Krakauers is unique in that it shows there are some fucked up beliefs inherent in Mormonism and its history that allow for evil fundamentalists like Warren Jeff's and Ervil LeBaron to happen.

I definitely agree about traditional Mormon beliefs allowing for the craziness of the FLDS.  I didn't realize until I read the book how different the two groups are and what mainstream Mormons think of the offshoot.  The book encouraged me to learn more about the Mormon faith itself as it is practiced today.  

[AmazonGrace]

I don't usually talk about freejinger IRL. Occasionally I might share some link I found here.

[Briefly]

On 7/11/2019 at 4:46 PM, Caroline said:

I'm not embarrassed at all to tell people of my interest/obsession with the fundamentalist crowd.  I like to educate people about the dangers of evangelical beliefs mixing with politics and potentially changing our country's established laws. I've been concerned about this since the days of Reagan and the Moral Majority.  There are too many people (normal religious and non-religious) who don't have any idea about these people and their poisonous beliefs (looking at you, Lori Alexander.)

Have you read "Under the Banner of Heaven"?  That's where I learned so much about the FLDS and how they don't represent mainstream Mormons.

Under the Banner of Heaven is probably the best one out there, it has so much detail and he obviously researched the FLDS fully, along with the Mormon church itself.

I mention some of the FJ stuff to Mr. Briefly sometimes.  He thinks some people are just looney.  I have the occasional talk with the Briefly daughter about some of the people/subjects on here - at one time there was a discussion of the Lolita culture and with her permission, I posted a few pictures of her in one of her Lolita dresses.  Also, she is now also on the lookout for books by the Pearls and Gwen Shamblin Lara/Weigh Down, for me.

[tankgirl]

I found you all thanks to discussion about Emily at Under 1000, on a Mom's board, my husband has some idea I read FJ, but seeing as one of the online Mom's in my birth group, was one blog from being talked about here on FJ (Godly like, open to lots of babies, started talking to doctors about infertility issues, when she was not pregnant immediately after 3rd, like less then 1 year after birth, husband did not want any part of having more, but she pushed till had I think 7 and he left her, so much judgey God talk in there too), but because of talking about her and a catfish situation on another Mom's group (lady faked entire 9 months pregnancy, got chummy with one online lady in our group and it came out she was faking a relationship, with a married man who barely knew who she was and was never pregnant, but held up the farce till days before she was meant to meet this lady in person, this went on for over 1 year) my husband has no idea how to keep up with my internet reads and this ignores most of what I do, and I only try to explain the wackiest stuff.  FJ is my little space, that I find fascinating as some one with connections to groups talked about here, but never having been fundie.

[Secondgenfundyfree]

I don't share my fascination with many friends...but when I do I explain it in the context of my upbringing. My Dad left a fundamentalist religious group and moved across the Atlantic ocean to escape when he was 21. Although I was not raised religious, the control and judgement components that are part of strict religious groups were very prominent in my upbringing, and judgement is still something I wrestle with. I explain it that this "fascination" has helped me understand myself, my parents, and my upbringing. It also helps me understand the dynamics of my parents...my father left a controlling religious environment and married a very controlling women!

We also live in a very conservative religious area of Ontario, horse and buggy mennonites go past my house daily (Old Order, David Martin, Markham). Many of the children my kids are friends with have mennonite background and either grandparents or parents that left the strict religion. I find the conversations I have with some other mother's on the topic of leaving fundamentalism fascinating, and reading here helps me understand their family and my family histories.

[HarleyQuinn]

I keep my fundie critiques to myself, but I did type "eleventy" on another forum once only for someone else to respond "omg you read FJ?!" That's the extent of me sharing my interest in fundie snark

 

[Silas]

My sister and my partner both know, although my sister probably doesn't realize to what extent I keep up with them. Not because she'd judge me but we're usually too busy talking about other things. She knows I visit a "duggar board" though (I've been lurking here for years, sorry y'all). It was actually my interest in true crime that led me deeper down the Duggar hole (wow that sounds weird). I mean I'd watched them on TLC and thought they were nuts but it wasn't something I really cared about. But eventually true crime led me down the cult rabbit hole, then the religious cult rabbit hole, and somewhere along the way the Duggars came into the mix. I'd say I started following them pretty hard around the time Josie was born. It might be one of the reasons I never thought to hide it, to me it's weirdly linked to my true crime obsession. Yes, I'm aware that makes no sense.

My partner was actually the one who broke the Josh scandal news to me! I'd been slacking on lurking FJ and he texted me at work. "Did you hear about Josh Duggar?". To this day he still brags how for once he knew something Duggar related before me. ? I tried explaining JRod to him once and I truly think he thought I was exaggerating the crazy. Somethings you just have to see to believe, I suppose.

 

 

[MamaJunebug]

Kind of like @Marian the Librarian, I have occasionally thought about coming in out of the cold, making an FJ window sticker and placing it not-too-obvious part of the Bugmobile.  (There was actually a clothing company with an FJ logo that looked almost exactly like ours.)

Most of my friend’s know of my lifelong interest in theology and aversion to cults. I rarely try to proselytize a friend — even  into a discussion of cults — but sometimes it would be a sin (heh) not to. 

For instance: a friend is moving to  Nashville and mentions suburbs that are close to her price point. She says Brentwood — and I say, “oh, the Remnant Fellowship, Weigh-Down cult HQ!” — and we are off to the races. But I can be a pretty good storyteller, so having subject matter like Gwen Shamblin LARA  makes it easy. 

[Virago]

To a few like minded friends I will share that I read here (and other places) to keep up with religious fundamentalism because I feel like I have to. They’re closer than they’ve been in decades to controlling aspects of our political system. I live among them in the American South. I need to know their language, their habits, their symbols, so I know who to be friends with, who I can trust to babysit my children, who I want to work with, etc. It’s the same reason I read snake/bug/plant ID groups on Facebook - to be able to accurately recognize it. My partner does the same, but with white nationalism. Together we have pretty successfully been able to weed out who is “safe” and who is not where we live.

[CharlieInCharge]

Maybe I’m weird for FJ, but my partner knows EVERYTHING! He asks about the Duggar’s, giggles at Jill and has even considered getting a FJ account. Y’all are my most frequent point of contact and I mention this site on the reg. I’m heavily vested in watching religious fundamentalists; I track Hasidic Jewish groups and some of the Fundie Mormons and Islamic groups in the US. I’m an atheist and it’s just interesting to see how others live their lives compared to my own. I will always be glad I found FJ because it’s the only group I’ve found to share my interest.