Explaining Your Fundie Fascination to People You Know

[Black Aliss]

Nobody knows. It's just my secret vice. I worry sometimes that someone I know is here and that I will inadvertently out myself. Why I worry I do not know--it's like one Baptist running into another at the liquor store, right? I can't even remember how I got here except that someone somewhere else called my attention to Emily of Under $1000, and I realized I had found my tribe. Except for the Duggars. I have a low tolerance for celebrity anyway, and an even lower tolerance for people who are famous merely for being famous, and I just can't stand those yokels.

[wallysmommy]

Today i entertained my best friends 92 year old very Catholic mother with tales of JRod. She was quite amused and disbelieving of the antics.

[raspberrymint]

Why explain?

Just possess a fountain of knowledge and roll with it.  I get more groans for knowing things about the Kardashians.

[AuntKrazy]

I hadn't really thought about it. I talk about things I find fascinating, but if whomever I am in conversation with isn't interested, the talk moved to other things. 

But FJ is the place where I find others who like to talk about this stuff as much as I do.

My husband used to question my fascination until I noted, "you have an advanced math and engineering degree and are hooked on Air Disasters. I have a theology degree and think of it like I'm watching "religious disasters". So now he watches some things with me and we have fun conversations.

[SecularMusic]

I keep it secret. I'm very ashamed of my fundie past, from age 16 through 30. I now live in  of the most liberal states in the US.

People would be horrified if I told them about my semi arranged marriage, my fundie wedding or the crazy things I was taught to believe. I'm odd enough for attending catholic mass every week in an area where many people have never gone to church.

I am still suffering the ramifications from that time in my life. For instance, my husband holds my past relationships against me ( I was a virgin when we married but had done everything else with former boyfriends). I'm still angry about my horrible wedding day, from not being allowed to play secular music to wearing a modest dress that made me look like a giant bell to almost fainting during the two-hour ceremony/altar call due to stress, to falling asleep as soon as we got to our hotel room.

Coming to FJ makes me feel less alone and less like a freak.

i 

[MamaJunebug]

@SecularMusic, welcome. 

Also, your husband is an ass. 

JMHO, of course  

 

 

[catlady]

Mr. CatLady knows about JillRod and Good Weens, but no one else IRL does.  They wouldn’t get it, so I keep it to myself.  Mr. CL knows only because he sees the tab open on our various devices, but beyond the occasional “what did s/he do now?” he has no real interest.  

[SilverBeach]

Only my DD really knows about FJ (she follows the Maxwells), to Mr. SB it's just a forum I enjoy participating in. Otherwise, FJ is my secret guilty pleasure.

[Sicily]

Until I found this forum (by googling for info about the Servens), I wasn't aware that other non-fundies had an interest in fundies and their family blogs. I don't recall really mentioning my interest to other people. I think I posted about the Serven blog once on Facebook in about 2012 or so, but that's about it. It was just a private thing for me.

On 7/26/2019 at 3:05 AM, SecularMusic said:

I keep it secret. I'm very ashamed of my fundie past, from age 16 through 30. I now live in  of the most liberal states in the US.

People would be horrified if I told them about my semi arranged marriage, my fundie wedding or the crazy things I was taught to believe. I'm odd enough for attending catholic mass every week in an area where many people have never gone to church.

I am still suffering the ramifications from that time in my life. For instance, my husband holds my past relationships against me ( I was a virgin when we married but had done everything else with former boyfriends). I'm still angry about my horrible wedding day, from not being allowed to play secular music to wearing a modest dress that made me look like a giant bell to almost fainting during the two-hour ceremony/altar call due to stress, to falling asleep as soon as we got to our hotel room.

Coming to FJ makes me feel less alone and less like a freak.

i 

I'm really sorry to hear you went through that. It's a form of abuse imo. Just because it's wrapped up in religious belief doesn't make it non-abusive. You might even have trauma symptoms.

I agree with the person who said your husband is being an ass.

[PumaLover]

On 7/25/2019 at 10:05 AM, SecularMusic said:

I keep it secret. I'm very ashamed of my fundie past, from age 16 through 30. I now live in  of the most liberal states in the US.

People would be horrified if I told them about my semi arranged marriage, my fundie wedding or the crazy things I was taught to believe. I'm odd enough for attending catholic mass every week in an area where many people have never gone to church.

I am still suffering the ramifications from that time in my life. For instance, my husband holds my past relationships against me ( I was a virgin when we married but had done everything else with former boyfriends). I'm still angry about my horrible wedding day, from not being allowed to play secular music to wearing a modest dress that made me look like a giant bell to almost fainting during the two-hour ceremony/altar call due to stress, to falling asleep as soon as we got to our hotel room.

Coming to FJ makes me feel less alone and less like a freak.

i 

Oh my goodness, I had a past very similar to yours. I married my first boyfriend, in spite of so many red flags. I have always been very outspoken and sure of myself but he had some kind of hold over me. It's been almost 20 years but it still affects me, although I wish it wouldn't. Please feel free to message me if you would like. I feel like i should be over it at this point but I am still not. You are certainly not a freak. And you are not alone!