Are your children playing with lucifer's testicles?

[SecularMusic]

Just in time for Easter, this PSA came across my Facebook feed. Our fundie Pastor didn't believe Christians should dye Easter eggs because it supposedly is a pagan tradition. We couldn't even say Easter. We had to say Happy Resurrection Sunday. This website explains the origins of this evil custom: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/eastereggs.html?fbclid=IwAR0I1KEjp6H31JeG4j_FeaQrVLTrji3b1hkTaYoZnLXAmxmk2hDu1NiiK8s

 

[Audrey2]

Great Satan's Balls of Fire!

[catlady]

We will be playing with Lucifer’s testicles tomorrow. And while I was preparing cousin’s egg hunt, I realized that a pen, wrapped in yellow tissue paper, looks a little dubious.......haha, *dubi*ous!!

[Leftitinmysnood]

Well then, I intended to be eating chocolate testicles all day. It's a family tradition. My grandmother always had a ceramic rabbit full of foil wrapped Hershey's, um, gonads, on each table. Now the real travesty is what is passed off for Cadbury eggs here now. And where are the chocolate filled ones? They were the only ones not completely ruined for the US market! Where are the sermons about that?

[Dreadcrumbs]

I'm probably not going to be having any Lucifer's testicles this year. It's just been that way for the past I don't know how many years. That being said, I'd really like some good dark chocolate right about now.

[mango_fandango]

Loads of fundies call it Resurrection Sunday, eg the Maxwells.

Lucifer’s testicles is a new one on me.... 

[HarryPotterFan]

I might have to start using “Lucifer’s testicle” as a swear 

It’s kind of like “Voldemort’s Nipple”

 

[VVV]

50 minutes ago, Dreadcrumbs said:

I'm probably not going to be having any Lucifer's testicles this year. It's just been that way for the past I don't know how many years. That being said, I'd really like some good dark chocolate right about now.

I am looking forward to stocking up on some nice 50% off dark chocolate on Monday.

[Dreadcrumbs]

24 minutes ago, VVV said:

I am looking forward to stocking up on some nice 50% off dark chocolate on Monday.

Ooo, good idea! That's how I like my chocolate: discounted.

[Dandruff]

What would Lucifer need testicles for?

[Petronella]

Not real. It’s from Landover Baptist, a satire site:

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/eastereggs.html

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

Didn't an FJer have that cartoon/graphic as their avatar? I can't remember who right now. 

40 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

What would Lucifer need testicles for?

Well, I guess the "spawn of Satan" have to get created somehow.

[PumaLover]

Yes, I know it because an FJer had it as their avatar and it always made me laugh. Sad that it's not real, because I just spent half an hour stuffing a shit ton of Lucifer's testicles with candy for the kids tomorrow. My pet rabbit is the Easter bunny around here, and she fills all the baskets and hides all the eggs. (She also doubles as Santa.)

[SecularMusic]

7 hours ago, Petronella said:

Not real. It’s from Landover Baptist, a satire site:

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/eastereggs.html

Didn't visit the site until after I posted but it drives home for me how crazy some of my former church's views were regarding things like Easter eggs, Santa, etc. Once our youth group wanted to make and donate Easter baskets to a local food shelf but the pastor wouldn't let us. He told us we could put together "blessing baskets" with dinner items but no Easter baskets.

[Closed Womb]

No kids here, but I’m about to start eating Lucifer’s testicular treats soon enough. 

[Howl]

Hmmmmmm, scratches head  *Lucifer's Testicles* hmmm, *might* be a good post count.  

[Lisafer]

My Christian relative gave my kids some big baskets of Lucifer's testicles yesterday. I was relieved to find NO Palmer "chocolates" in there. If the eggs are Luci's testicles, Palmer chocolate is Lucifer's poo.

[delphinium65]

My cat's name is Lucifer, and he's been fixed.  So that's what the vet did with them!  

[EyesOpen]

Holy what? Is this why I’m seeing my ex church family and evangelical family all say happy resurrection Sunday? Come on people... oh I get sick of new ways ‘christians’ can be offended or make themselves more holy and special...

[Granwych]

9 hours ago, HarryPotterFan said:

I might have to start using “Lucifer’s testicle” as a swear 

It’s kind of like “Voldemort’s Nipple”

 

My late niece introduced me to The Porter puppets' version of the "pipe bomb.".    May I never stop laughing at it!

[Petronella]

57 minutes ago, EyesOpen said:

Holy what? Is this why I’m seeing my ex church family and evangelical family all say happy resurrection Sunday? Come on people... oh I get sick of new ways ‘christians’ can be offended or make themselves more holy and special...

As shown above, it’s satire, not real.

[Dreadcrumbs]

9 hours ago, Petronella said:

Not real. It’s from Landover Baptist, a satire site:

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/eastereggs.html

I kind of presumed most FJers knew it was satire and rolled with that.

[Petronella]

57 minutes ago, Dreadcrumbs said:

I kind of presumed most FJers knew it was satire and rolled with that.

Some I'm sure. But what fundies do get up to is sometimes so out there, well--it's important to distinguish real extremism from made-up stuff. Certainly some replies indicated taking it at face value.

After all, Lori Alexander is real. Steve Maxwell is real. Jill Rodrigues is real. And just as outrageous! But really real. *shudder*

[Lisafer]

12 minutes ago, Petronella said:

Some I'm sure. But what fundies do get up to is sometimes so out there, well--it's important to distinguish real extremism from made-up stuff. Certainly some replies indicated taking it at face value.

After all, Lori Alexander is real. Steve Maxwell is real. Jill Rodrigues is real. And just as outrageous! But really real. *shudder*

To be fair, a fundie relative just messaged me: "Happy Resurrection Sunday!" totally un-ironically. And the church down the street has on the marquee: "It's not about the bunny, it's about the lamb." 

It's an awkward day to be a heathen...

[Dreadcrumbs]

16 minutes ago, Petronella said:

Some I'm sure. But what fundies do get up to is sometimes so out there, well--it's important to distinguish real extremism from made-up stuff. Certainly some replies indicated taking it at face value.

After all, Lori Alexander is real. Steve Maxwell is real. Jill Rodrigues is real. And just as outrageous! But really real. *shudder*

Well yeah, the line between the satire and the reality can get really blurry.