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Lauser family: A Tale of Two Cousins


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nelliebelle1197
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9 hours ago, Howl said:

ETA: I wonder if the dad's job and their living situation in Ireland will be at all affected by Brexit. 

Ireland, as in the Republic of Ireland and not Northern Ireland, will not be affected by Brexit. Ireland is not part of the United Kingdom and is and will remain part of the EU because it is its own country. The main issue that relates to the island of Ireland when it comes to Brexit is that if and when Brexit happens, there needs to be a plan to deal with border between the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland. Currently, there is free movement between the two. People are concerned because of the history of violence and how politically and emotionally charged a 'hard border' has been between the two in the past considering it literally divides families and even towns when it is enforced and ignites strong beliefs in either "one Ireland" (usually associated with Irish Catholics and Irish people) and those who are "pro-UK" (usually associated with Protestants and Anglo-Irish or Scots-Irish). There are exceptions to those associations but that's the broad strokes associations.

In about 1993, customs between the two countries over the land border stopped due to the UK and Ireland both being in the EU. But military check-points over the border didn't stop until the late 1990s (maybe 1998/1999). The cessation of military check-points was part of The Good Friday Agreement and was a huge contributor to ending The Troubles or at least a good part of the violence.

My paternal grandfather who largely raised me (along with my grandmother) was an Irish immigrant and did not immigrate until early adulthood. His father (my Gran-Da, who passed away when I was 6) was a member of the old IRA in the Irish War of Independence as a young teen guerrilla fighter. We're from Tipperary, Cork, and Kerry in the southern region of Munster that is known for its strong Irish nationalism and their commitment to protecting Irish language and culture (mostly in secret for a very long time as it was punishable by the British). My grandfather was raised speaking Irish and the town he comes from is still Gaeltacht (meaning predominantly Irish speaking). I'm not going to lie- it has never been said explicitly to me but I have very little doubt that I have great-uncles and second cousins and things that were affiliated with the more 'terrorist' wing of the IRA. Probably even my Gran-Da, although he only ever spoke to me as a child about the War and why they fought and that is considered the 'old-IRA'. However, I was raised in no uncertain terms to absolutely hate and despise the English and to never trust a Protestant in Ireland. It probably didn't help that my maternal side of the family is Aboriginal so hating the English was just normal to me ;) I do now differentiate between hating what the British did in the past and the impacts that are still felt today and hating actual people alive right now haha.

Anyway, all that is to explain that Ireland meaning Éire, the Republic of Ireland, is not the same as Northern Ireland. As the family were living in Dublin, they were in the Republic so Brexit should not impact their visas. It would be different if they were a little further north in Tuaisceart Éireann...still on the island of Ireland but currently (to many people's ire) not part of the Republic and part of the United Kingdom.

Y'all should know that I ramble by now ;) Sorry!

ETA: As someone who holds Irish citizenship due to my grandfather having it, even though I'm a super poor graduate student right now who can't afford to travel anywhere, I'm very happy that my Irish passport will still be good within the EU ?

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I like the fact he seems to have completed two recovery programmes, one in Ireland and one in prison - both of which he did just for fun, and not because he needed to - he was ministering in them.

And I used to work with drug services, I 100% don't judge people who need more than 1 go (or 6, or 10) at rehab to get clean - BUT the whole premise of any kind of treatment is to accept and admit you need help.  What it's telling me are God-based treatment programmes aren't successful at that, because look at him.

I wonder what these lazy Fundies would think about adult men emigrating to the US because their dad did, and bumming around doing nothing for years?  Especially the ones who left their home country to escape child sexual abuse court cases?  I just don't buy the whole thing about the adults in their family couldn't work because of their father's visa - why not apply for a visa in their own right?

Co-signing that I thought Captain Brett Alan Smith had invented the line of "my son is doing prison ministry" as a figleaf for "my son is in prison for child sexual abuse" - it's going to make me look a bit harder when the next Fundy pops up with prison ministry in their bio...

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22 hours ago, SrMaryEloquentia said:

whenhisvoiceisheard.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/dayinthelife.pdf

(link broken, not sure if that is still a rule?)

This precious piece written in 2013 by Darren Lauser treats us to insights into his life in Ireland such as this:

Back to this 164 page pdf, who knows what else I might learn?

ETA: Fun fact: Lauser is German for „full of lice“, usually referring to an unwashed and unruly little boy. 

Why does someone need to write 164 page PDF about himself? This is baffling.

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Guys, that time I ran out of gas through my own stupidity was actually me ministering to the freeway ramp. What a blessing!

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My name is Darren Lauser, son of Ron and Shirley Lauser. My wife's name is Sherry and we have eight children, seven still at home. We don't believe you should have children after 35. That is too many.

Well yeah,  if you have more than 35 kids that's definitely too many.  *eye roll  emoji here* 

(I suppose he means you shouldn't have children if you're older than 35 but what the heck? You could be 45 when you have a baby and it could be your only  child.) 

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image.png.f8397b842bf46eb94536d22685f10f3a.png

Oh yes  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amygdalin

It's a long article but the relevant word is "quackery" 

image.png.83aced2551b9dabdf6f33070659afea9.png

Shouldn't that be, "from... me"? 

Apart from the awkward grammar, I'm just... I mean... honestly, isn't it a bit... uh... 

Sorry, I don't have my post -it note handy. I had listed comments that are suitable for my freejinger family to discuss, but I can't find it now , so I don't have anything to say  to y'all at the moment. 

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24 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

Well yeah,  if you have more than 35 kids that's definitely too many.  *eye roll  emoji here* 

(I suppose he means you shouldn't have children if you're older than 35 but what the heck? You could be 45 when you have a baby and it could be your only  child.) 

Yeah, it's a joke I've heard a few times before, but Darren's affect is so flat it's hard to tell. 

I do wonder if he's on the spectrum or has something else going on, based on the level of detail he's putting into some of these descriptions.

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image.png.954517b3984fcb4b6c477e3a3afcaba9.png

Um, this missionary person refers to the child molester doing his stint in prison?  

1 minute ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

Yeah, it's a joke I've heard a few times before, but Darren's affect is so flat it's hard to tell. 

I do wonder if he's on the spectrum or has something else going on, based on the level of detail he's putting into some of these descriptions.

He does seem a little too attentive to details. 

image.png.a28da23e1887ccd861f37434ac1b39d5.png

IDK  but I think most people writing about their day would assume that the reader knows that people tend to dress lighter if the weather is warm and you don't have to mention it. 

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This reminds me of those essays they’d have you write in middle school, to take someone through the detailed steps of performing a simple action, like making a PB & J. The point was to take the level of detail/explanation to the point of ridiculousness. Inevitably you’d have the kids who’d be like “now, in order to take a step towards the fridge, lift up one leg and put it in front of the other.”

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7 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

image.png.f8397b842bf46eb94536d22685f10f3a.png

Oh yes  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amygdalin

It's a long article but the relevant word is "quackery" 

image.png.83aced2551b9dabdf6f33070659afea9.png

Shouldn't that be, "from... me"? 

Apart from the awkward grammar, I'm just... I mean... honestly, isn't it a bit... uh... 

Sorry, I don't have my post -it note handy. I had listed comments that are suitable for my freejinger family to discuss, but I can't find it now , so I don't have anything to say  to y'all at the moment. 

I am have read a lot of this tome today and yet I have not chanced upon the breakfast section. I am still mulling the proper filling of the water pictures and the correct mixture of boiling water to cold water to ensure optimal health.

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I just opened the PDF tome. It opens with:

”Why would anyone want to read about what I do day to day? Well, most people would not. “

Why indeed? I’m questioning my life choices but I can’t resist.

“What is even more interesting is that my hair was blonde when I was a young child, but it kept getting darker, so now it is completely brown. That is only the half of it. My wife has the same hair colour progression and so do all of our children.”

Thats not interesting. That’s how hair colour works for most people who are born blonde.

Edited by lilith
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What did I just attempt to read? What a pile of tripe! It was endless and I didn't even make it passed it passed his exercise regime section before giving up. 'And by pull-ups I mean, .... ' and goes on and on and on for paragraphs about every tiny trivial detail involved in how to execute a pull-up, what he is feeling and thinking about while doing pull-ups, the impact the pull-ups on his body etc. And then when you think finally that is finished, it hits into 'And by rebounding I mean, I do x,y and z'.  

Is this guy still here in Ireland? Shouldn't they have left now it is no longer a safe haven free from abortion. 

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  • 4 months later...

Hello, Lucy here, I kind of love this thread! I also went to my profile to update things and surprise...my gender was already set to female. Is there a way to update my display name?

I have one quick correction and then some stuff to fill in. Jaymes has always been his name, but I think he may have mistakenly been given the standard spelling in some documents.

I was told about his crimes long before they left the country. His dad told my dad, who told me. The later claims of innocence contradict what Jay’s dad told mine that day. I visited him in jail many times before the trial and sentencing, and it was a little weird going back to the same place to file for my name change this year. I never thought he was innocent, and he admitted it too, at least early on. During the course of his trial and imprisonment their narrative shifted from one of redemption for past sins, to one of denial.

I first came across this forum in 2015 when I was helping Alecia deal with the flood of emails after she went viral. In fact, that was when y’all introduced me to Cynthia Jeub. I’m finally going to meet her in person this week, which we are both excited for after a long period of mutual admiration across the internet.

My parents are indeed divorced. My dad actually remarried this morning after two decades of preaching a completely intolerant message against divorce. I went to the wedding, it was the first time I’d seen him in about a year. Hell of a year to miss, I’ve been on estrogen for eleven months! He didn’t so much as send me an email until four months after I came out, and then it was manipulative and he wouldn’t acknowledge my transition. So I said hello, we hugged, and that was the extent of it. I made sure he felt my breasts. It was also the first time meeting my stepmom. They’re all-in with the same old god-ordained relationship nonsense.

I’m pretty sure my dad and his brother are on the autism spectrum, as am I and probably half of my siblings. My two brothers who are 3 and 5 years younger than me are also non-Christians at this point. We all independently worked our way out during roughly the same few years as we became adults. My five sisters and my mother, during the separation from my dad, moved to a more progressive but still evangelical denomination.

My mother surprised me by being really supportive, even though it’s been hard for her and she sometimes messes up pronouns. My oldest sister and oldest brother have not been very good about respecting pronouns or accepting my transition, but everyone uses my name at least and most are supportive. My 10yo sister never got my pronouns wrong after the first time I corrected her. She also called me her sister pretty early and says things like “sometimes I look at Lucy and I think maybe we didn’t see her like we should have.” I adore that child. She knows so much more than she should, says she’s 20 years old in her head.

There’s so much more to say! My oldest sister went to Bethel’s school in Redding and that’s a whole other shitshow, with their new conversion therapy campaign going on. Jay started a theocratic writing forum long ago called Holy Worlds, and there was a lot of overlap between it and the membership of One Year Adventure Novel, which started as a relatively mediocre creative writing course for Christian homeschoolers and mutated into a cult. Both forums are also where I met the Penningtons, Grace was a big name on Holy Worlds and one of the ones who stood behind Jay when he went to prison. I won the OYAN novel contest in 2011, and last year a few of us, who were around as early as 2008, tried to blow the whistle on all the ableism and homophobia and transphobia and bullying and covered-up sexual abuse and other shit that’s gone on at their week-long writing workshops and on their online forums. We didn’t really manage to get it all out there yet, but we have a Google doc with a bunch of stuff compiled.

And then there’s my dad’s use of child labor to build a house and maintain a property and care for a large family. Not just my siblings and I but sometimes people he knew from church came and worked on our house and sometimes they brought their own kids. Recently I met one of those kids again, someone who also came from a large Christian homeschooling family and also helped build our house and is also a trans woman!

The hard labor and my dad’s attempt to make me into a little copy of himself contributed to my nonexistent self-esteem, depression, anxiety, numerous methods of self harm, and physical health problems. I’m now unemployed because I don’t want to keep destroying my health because I finally don’t want to die. So I’ve been living off dwindling assets, credit, and generous people while trying to get disability and do a bit of creative freelance work, because just about any normal shift at any normal job ends with me in horrible pain and/or mentally melting down. I’ll probably have to file for bankruptcy soon.

Edited by mmlauser
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51 minutes ago, mmlauser said:

Hello, Lucy here, I kind of love this thread! I also went to my profile to update things and surprise...my gender was already set to female. Is there a way to update my display name?

Hi, Lucy! Welcome back to FJ. :pb_smile: As far as your gender on your profile being set to female, I think that's a default setting. I think that's what I was told when I found that a male fundamentalist (who made an account to tell us all the ways that we were wrong) was marked as "female". I'm glad the default setting helped in your case!

Usually usernames are permanent, but I believe that @Curious (the site's owner) has made occasional small modifications when unusual circumstances happen. 

I haven't really read much about the Penningtons, so I haven't read any of your previous posts. I'm also only mildly familiar with the earlier posts on this thread, so I think I have some catch-up reading to do. Hopefully some of the folks who commented on the earlier parts will see this and chime in.

I'm glad some of your family members are supportive. Your 10 year old sister sounds amazing! I may have a question, or two, after I finish my catch-up reading, but until then, welcome back!

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Hi @mmlauser! It's always a little weird to bring someone to this board's attention, not knowing how that person will react to seeing the discussion. I'm glad you enjoyed the thread :) And I'm glad to hear that you have support during your transition.

Are your relatives still in Ireland? Are you guys in touch at all, after all the changes that your family has gone through? Did your cousin's situation contribute to your siblings' deconversions as it did with yours?

Just curious. I won't be bothered if you don't want to answer.

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They’re still in Ireland and I haven’t talked to any of them in years. Haven’t seen Jay since he got out of prison either. I don’t know how much his experiences affected my siblings.

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Do they really think you shouldn't have kids after 35 years old and think you should have all God gives you?

Joke or not, my question isn't a joke.  I've heard that from other fundies (and alt-right types) and can't rationalize the contradiction.

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23 minutes ago, raspberrymint said:

Do they really think you shouldn't have kids after 35 years old and think you should have all God gives you?

Joke or not, my question isn't a joke.  I've heard that from other fundies (and alt-right types) and can't rationalize the contradiction.

Which fundies say that older women should stop having kids? The closest I've ever heard is like "you should start having kids when you're young, not waiting til you're in your 30s like women these days blah blah blah."

Either way, the line that was referenced above is just an old joke. A woman goes to her doctor and says "doc, do you think I'll be able to keep having kids after 35?" And the doctor says "I doubt it, 35 kids is way too many." 

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I've heard it's "outside God's plan" to have kids when older.  The adoptive mother of the Parkland shooter were the last example I remember, because she died when he was still young and she "couldn't control him".

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“Frump” is being too kind. And in just one photo I could see huge differences in the twins. One girl has narrow chin, heart shaped face, darker, straight eyebrows.. 

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  • 1 month later...
On 4/9/2019 at 1:53 AM, AmazonGrace said:

 

image.png.83aced2551b9dabdf6f33070659afea9.png

 

I was going to poke fun at making lists of conversation topics, but it's a behaviour that is more comprehensible if there's people on the spectrum involved. 

Even so, talking over breakfast about Jaymes the Omniturdnerd seems particularly heinous, especially if insufficient coffee has been drunk........

 

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