Maxwell 29: You Can Leave Your Vest On, Second Verse Same as the First

[Candydandy]

The beef in the vegetable beef soup looks raw to me. That is a sad weekly menu. I make my own rice pilaf but never thought to add orzo. Will try next time. 

[LilMissMetaphor]

So I did add broccoli and spinach to mine, and it was pretty good. My daughter ate it without comment, and my younger son said, "Mom, I don't really like this that much.  It's not BAD or anything, but..."

I probably would just continue to make my own fried rice, I think.

[Hane]

I misread today’s post title. At first I saw “Grandma’s Boring” instead of “Grandma’s Bookbag.”

[SPHASH]

12 minutes ago, Hane said:

I misread today’s post title. At first I saw “Grandma’s Boring” instead of “Grandma’s Bookbag.”

That's probably what the grandkids think of Grandma.

[Sister Mozz]

I cannot confirm this in any public way, but I have it on good authority that Sarah has joined American Christian Fiction Writers. This isn't exactly a conservative group. A perusal of their list of recent releases shows stories featuring single moms, a man who just found out he has a child, and at least one retired woman: https://www.acfw.com/blog/acfw-new-releases-march-2019/

 

Will Sarah be able to cope with the worldly influence of non-Maxwell writers?

[Alisamer]

8 minutes ago, Sister Mozz said:

I cannot confirm this in any public way, but I have it on good authority that Sarah has joined American Christian Fiction Writers. This isn't exactly a conservative group. A perusal of their list of recent releases shows stories featuring single moms, a man who just found out he has a child, and at least one retired woman: https://www.acfw.com/blog/acfw-new-releases-march-2019/

Wow, I hope that's true! They have online classes and webinars, critique groups, a book club, and regional chapters that likely have occasional meets. It sounds like exactly the sort of thing that would help Sarah improve her writing, and also give her the opportunity to speak with people outside Maxhell. She could do with some discussion with Christians who are not Maxwellians, and some friends - even online ones - outside the family. Hopefully Steve won't find a way to stop her participating with the group. Read everything you can get your hands on, Sarah! Participate!

[HereticHick]

OK, parents, I am dying to know which of these "Bear" books [see: https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/entity/author/B001IGSL24]

are objectionable in Maxwellvania???!!

Is there a"Bear Gets Gay Married" one?  "Bear goes to Public School?" "Bear puts beans in burritos?"

[MamaJunebug]

58 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

OK, parents, I am dying to know which of these "Bear" books [see: https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/entity/author/B001IGSL24]

are objectionable in Maxwellvania???!!

Is there a"Bear Gets Gay Married" one?  "Bear goes to Public School?" "Bear puts beans in burritos?"

Easy!

BEAR WANTS MORE — Maxwellvanians never ask for more than they are allotted, even if they want more. ZeusSteve knows his much everyone deserves, and that’s it  

BEAR STAYS UP — Maxhellions* stick to a schedule. No bending the schedule.

BEAR GETS A FRIEND — You’ll wait for your parents to provide you with a sibling and you’ll thank them for it!

BEAR HUGS — That’s certainly NOT a side hug! That cover can not be shared with young, impressionable eyes, much less the contents. 

* I like your use of Maxwellvania but I’m too set in my errant ways to forego Maxhell and Maxhellions. Maxwellvania does have a joyous lilt to it, which probably would fluster Griselda Teri all to pieces, though.

[Lgirlrocks]

@MamaJunebug so I thought you made up those titles but they are real! How sad if those are the ones she chooses not to read.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I actually love the Bear books I’ve read to kids. I swear the Maxwell’s find things to object to out of complete boredom in their lives.

[nelliebelle1197]

2 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

Easy!

BEAR WANTS MORE — Maxwellvanians never ask for more than they are allotted, even if they want more. ZeusSteve knows his much everyone deserves, and that’s it  

BEAR STAYS UP — Maxhellions* stick to a schedule. No bending the schedule.

BEAR GETS A FRIEND — You’ll wait for your parents to provide you with a sibling and you’ll thank them for it!

BEAR HUGS — That’s certainly NOT a side hug! That cover can not be shared with young, impressionable eyes, much less the contents. 

* I like your use of Maxwellvania but I’m too set in my errant ways to forego Maxhell and Maxhellions. Maxwellvania does have a joyous lilt to it, which probably would fluster Griselda Teri all to pieces, though.

You forgot about Bear Stays Up for Christmas. There is so much blasphemy in that title alone.

2 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

Easy!

BEAR WANTS MORE — Maxwellvanians never ask for more than they are allotted, even if they want more. ZeusSteve knows his much everyone deserves, and that’s it  

BEAR STAYS UP — Maxhellions* stick to a schedule. No bending the schedule.

BEAR GETS A FRIEND — You’ll wait for your parents to provide you with a sibling and you’ll thank them for it!

BEAR HUGS — That’s certainly NOT a side hug! That cover can not be shared with young, impressionable eyes, much less the contents. 

* I like your use of Maxwellvania but I’m too set in my errant ways to forego Maxhell and Maxhellions. Maxwellvania does have a joyous lilt to it, which probably would fluster Griselda Teri all to pieces, though.

Griselda Teri, Queen of Maxwellvania.

Damn, I would love to change my location to that fabulousness but since Karen really is free- and I coined Hamster Cage of Horrors - I just can’t. 

[SilverBeach]

On 2/28/2019 at 8:17 AM, MamaJunebug said:

Satisfying Midwestern Taste Buds

Not here in Metro Chicago, hell naw. That Maxwell shit would not cut it.

[fundiefan]

I know comparing life to the Maxwells is useless, but I just don't understand them. Everyone in that house is an adult. They are all home all day long. Yet, they make crap for meals? Isn't being a decent cook a good homemaker skill for fundie wives in training? 

I grew up with my mom, sister & grandma. Mom & grandma both worked full time. Yet, every night, we had real meals made and on the table. Pork chops, chili, spaghetti, burgers, liver (gag), pot roast, pea soup, vegetable soup....just to name a few of my favorite memories. Even in the 70's & 80's - the days of rock hard pork chop frying - my grandma knew some magic to make those things heavenly. 

We also had full breakfasts before school & work-  eggs, pancakes, whatever. Cereal was a no-no in my grandmother's world. Those breakfasts were cooked by one or both of the working women before they went to work. 

My grandmother also hosted all her kids, their spouses & grandkids for holidays. About 25 people. She cooked for days, and cleaned and obsessed. Living with her was a serious treat because the holdiays were always at my house and the food was ah-ma-zing. 

Anyway - how does a house full of grown adults who don't leave for scheduled work or school hours - not have decent, homecooked meals? How are their holidays so hard on the schedule that they have turkey, one vegetable, a salad full of slop dressing, rolls and dessert? 

For all the insanity that comes out of Maxhell, their diet and meal planning/eating/cooking are the biggest mysteries to me. 

 

[DooDahDame]

On Thanksgiving there were just the two of us and I still fixed a full meal, from scratch, for us. Turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, gravy, green beans, sprouts, and desserts. I cheated on the rolls. Yes, we had leftovers for another meal, turkey pot pies, soup, etc. but not all in the same week. A lot went in the freezer for quick meals during the holiday season. You would think/hope they could manage this with five adults and Gigi, but apparently not. That doesn’t look too good on a resume for marriage (and I do think Stevie looks at it like that) for the girls.

[johnhugh]

12 hours ago, HereticHick said:

OK, parents, I am dying to know which of these "Bear" books [see: https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/entity/author/B001IGSL24]

are objectionable in Maxwellvania???!!

Is there a"Bear Gets Gay Married" one?  "Bear goes to Public School?" "Bear puts beans in burritos?"

Row, row, row the boat....

[Hane]

14 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

Easy!

BEAR WANTS MORE — Maxwellvanians never ask for more than they are allotted, even if they want more. ZeusSteve knows his much everyone deserves, and that’s it  

BEAR STAYS UP — Maxhellions* stick to a schedule. No bending the schedule.

BEAR GETS A FRIEND — You’ll wait for your parents to provide you with a sibling and you’ll thank them for it!

BEAR HUGS — That’s certainly NOT a side hug! That cover can not be shared with young, impressionable eyes, much less the contents. 

* I like your use of Maxwellvania but I’m too set in my errant ways to forego Maxhell and Maxhellions. Maxwellvania does have a joyous lilt to it, which probably would fluster Griselda Teri all to pieces, though.

It’s depressing how easily any one of us could go through this list of perfectly innocuous (and adorable!) children’s books and determine which ones were Too Controversial For Maxhell.

[anachronistic]

Bear books are too spontaneous for the Maxwells. In ‘Bear snores on’ the other animals have a party and when Bear wakes up they in-the-moment increase the amount of food (we can pop more corn! We can brew more tea!) so that everyone can share and have a good time. Bear books also demonstrate that all types of people (well, animals) can be friends and that differences are okay. 

Theres no mention of hell, god or Jesus in them either which makes them pointless to the Maxwells.

I love the Bear books. If you have or know toddlers they love them too.

[ThisOrdinaryTime]

1 hour ago, anachronistic said:

Bear books are too spontaneous for the Maxwells. In ‘Bear snores on’ the other animals have a party and when Bear wakes up they in-the-moment increase the amount of food (we can pop more corn! We can brew more tea!) so that everyone can share and have a good time. Bear books also demonstrate that all types of people (well, animals) can be friends and that differences are okay. 

Theres no mention of hell, god or Jesus in them either which makes them pointless to the Maxwells.

I love the Bear books. If you have or know toddlers they love them too.

Had to jump into this after lurking for a while.

Here's the thing: Karma Wilson (author of the Bear books) is a Christian. She even homeschools her kids. She's written the most charming Christmas book, Mortimer's Christmas Manger that is so sweet, it's almost painful, and it makes me cry every time I read it aloud. She is a wonderful author. I almost feel personally insulted as a teacher and librarian that they "wouldn't care to read" some of those books. 

[OhNoNike]

Definitely not Bear Stays up For Christmas.... that one has Santa in it. 

[Lgirlrocks]

So Steve says he can’t believe that parents let their kids read books like Harry Potter that are wicked and evil because they are classic. I wonder if he has ever read any Harry Potter. I’m sure he hasn’t. Harry Potter was a huge no no in my house. It was wicked and evil. I was 21, I think, when I started reading the books. My mom caught me and told me she didn’t want that read in her house. I handed her the book, it was the first one, and told her to read it. I told her if she read it and found anything wrong with it I would never read them again. She said she didn’t have time and walked away. Lots of Christian parents I knew growing up wouldn’t let their kids watch or read things because another parent said it was bad. They didn’t take the time to learn about it and see for themselves. Steve, hi btw, it’s not a new concept for parents to monitor what their kids do. 

I don’t understand monitoring adult children, Steve we know you do it. You didn’t raise your children right or you would trust them. A person isn’t going to Hell for reading a book that turns out to be bad. Sad thing is your adult children can’t leave. They can physically of course but they wouldn’t know where to start. They have no support. No friends that aren’t married that don’t live at home. No real job. No life. They can’t even cook good healthy meals for themselves. 

 

[Tatar-tot]

The fact he is monitoring his sons is the most compelling fact that Steve and Teri failed as parents. 

[ViolaSebastian]

22 hours ago, fundiefan said:

Even in the 70's & 80's - the days of rock hard pork chop frying - my grandma knew some magic to make those things heavenly. 

To this day, I still detest pork chops. Those things were like eating lead. 

[littlehouse]

I have given many of the bear books at showers.  My kids have worn theirs to tatters.  I can't see what would be wrong with them, other than the christmas one.  

Just an another notch to the tally of their sad sad lives.

[Black Aliss]

What I don't understand is how they have so many leftovers, especially with things like soup. They know how many people are going to be at the table, they know what their serving size is. If you intentionally make enough for 2 or more meals, that's not leftovers, that's cooking ahead! Their menus are as repetitive and boring as Sarah's books, and for the same reason: they were never allowed to develop their imaginations or creativity.

[SPHASH]

Not even the Little House on the Prairie books would pass muster in Maxhell.  All because of the little ditty Lazy Lousy Lizy Jane that Laura wrote.