Seewalds 38: Waiting on Seaweed Three

[Smee]

I like her dress. I miss being pregnant. If I was fundie I’d have more kids than I could handle by now and still be ready to get pregnant again because I love having a lovely round belly and a little person wriggling around inside *sigh*. But instead I have a sense of responsibility and my own limits, a husband who had a vasectomy, and a whole lot of nostalgia. 

[HereticHick]

On 4/3/2019 at 1:34 PM, clueliss said:

to pipe in on the Ikea conversation - actually the closest one to the Duggars would be in Metro KC-  Merriam Kansas to be specific.  

Dust the ceiling fans, Maxwells! The Duggars are coming to visit!

[Iamtheway]

2 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

The seventh circle of hell is Costco in St. John's on any weekend. If one is claustrophobic, do not go near it. 

Jessa is bigger than she was with Henry and smaller than she was with Spurgeon. 

I have a dress that looks exactly like that one! It’s really short though so probably not the same. But still! 

I had massive amounts of heartburn with Miniway. No hair. He has plenty now though since he refuses to get it cut. 

[WiseGirl]

Late to the IKEA discussion but my favorite item from them is the day-glo yellow vest with reflector stripes for about $3.00us. Best purchase ever! I wear it when walking the dogs in the dark so the idiots who drive too fast in the neighborhood will see me. So far it has worked.

[Carm_88]

1 hour ago, Pecansforeveryone said:

I am going to predict a third little boy for the Seewalds. I know Ben once upon a time wanted 15 sons. It would be really interesting if their 1st 4-6 children did end up all being boys. Would the boys become brother-dads? 

That is exactly what the Arndts did. They had something like 11 or 12 boys before they had a girl. 

[AtlanticTug]

That's why the Arndts are so damn weird.

I absolutely think it's a third boy. 

I had really bad heartburn with #1 - he had a full head of hair. I had horrific heartburn with #2 and she had so much hair you could practically braid it.

[luv2laugh]

Why do people hate on Jill yet jizz themselves over Jessa? Is it simply because Jessa has the prettiest face (according to Hollywood culture norms) with the Angelina Jolie pout? Is it because Jessa is knocked up all the time or because people are baby obsessed?

I don’t get it. Jessa is no different than Jill. However, their Instagram commenters are completely different. Then again, I’m not a Duggar fan.

Maybe I just don’t understand the Jessa fans that jizz themselves over her pregnancies and babies? As a woman, pregnancy is great and having kids is amazing but there is more than life than to being a baby-machine. How can society treat women equal to men if we spend our time obsessing over other women’s weddings, pregnancies, and their babies?

I’m a believer in getting married, having kids, and moving the hell on with impacting the world. By moving on, I’m referring to developing a healthy identity that does not represent a stereotype of how a woman should spend her time compared to a man. Just because women don’t have a penis doesn’t make us less important and I’m trying to make sure I do my part by not acting like a 1950s housewife stereotype or a Lori A fanatic.

Men need to stop comparing other females to their “ol’ ditzy wives in the kitchen busying about the children and trying to DIY the reno for the bedroom AGAIN” and they won’t stop doing it until we view ourselves as the important and equal individuals that we are.

Maybe it’s harsh but it’s the cold, hard truth. We need to focus on being as passionate as women like Hillary, RBG, and AOC instead of falling into the domestic boxes patriarchy tries to place us in. 

Disclaimer: I’m also preaching to myself. I ended up blocking Pinterest and Facebook. I realized that if I want to help my fellow women to be taken as seriously as men, then I need to stop playing into a patriarchal domestic role. Women, whether they are SAHM or working moms can develop an identity of influence and serve our communities. Nancy Pelosi was a SAHM of 5 kids for YEARS before entering politics. If I’m itching for something domestic to do (renovate, decorate, or bake, etc.) I ask my husband to help me. If I crave Pinterest, I check CNN, Bloomberg, or Wall Street Journal. I’m more interested in the economy and politics than make-up now.

[backyard sylph]

I had heartburn all six times, varying amounts of hair resulted.

I have one piece of IKEA furniture; the EXPEDIT, 3 x 4. I bought it some years ago after learning it was the thing to put vinyl albums in. They make a different thing now instead which doesn't look nearly as solid. 

And I bought some office chairs to use as dining chairs. They're okay. Otherwise most of my furniture I bought used or of a different style than they sell. I do think those bed frames are a good idea, though the sizes don't precisely correspond to standard sizes here. 

Finally, I like to think there is quite a lot of middle ground between finding Jessa no more palatable than Jill, and somehow producing male ejaculate at her. I'm the middle ground type, though.

[singsingsing]

1 minute ago, luv2laugh said:

Why do people hate on Jill yet jizz themselves over Jessa? Is it simply because Jessa has the prettiest face with he Angelina Jolie pout? Is it because Jessa is knocked up all the time or because people are baby obsessed?

I don’t get it. Jessa is no different than Jill. Then again, I’m not a Duggar fan.

Are you referring to people on this board, or just random leghumpers? 

Jessa objectively has a much better social media game than Jill, which is probably a big part of the reason why she gets less criticism in general. She provides a lot less fodder than Jill. Jill is constantly posting bizarre, offensive, or tone deaf things on social media, so naturally people are going to comment on that more than Jessa's relatively boring posts about new dresses or her kids playing. I'm not sure how much time you spend on the Duggar forum, but when Jessa does post something objectionable, she gets plenty of hate for it. See her recent post about Spurgeon's potty training accident.

[luv2laugh]

1 minute ago, singsingsing said:

Are you referring to people on this board, or just random leghumpers? 

Jessa objectively has a much better social media game than Jill, which is probably a big part of the reason why she gets less criticism in general. She provides a lot less fodder than Jill. Jill is constantly posting bizarre, offensive, or tone deaf things on social media, so naturally people are going to comment on that more than Jessa's relatively boring posts about new dresses or her kids playing. I'm not sure how much time you spend on the Duggar forum, but when Jessa does post something objectionable, she gets plenty of hate for it. See her recent post about Spurgeon's potty training accident.

All of the above. I don’t really follow Jessa but when you compare her Instagram commentators to Jill’s, they are two different worlds. I’m addition, I have noticed that Jessa’s thread is usually discussing either her appearance on CO or her babies whereas Jill’s is classic FJ snark. Perhaps I simply don’t follow Jessa enough though.

[singsingsing]

16 minutes ago, luv2laugh said:

All of the above. I don’t really follow Jessa but when you compare her Instagram commentators to Jill’s, they are two different worlds. I’m addition, I have noticed that Jessa’s thread is usually discussing either her appearance on CO or her babies whereas Jill’s is classic FJ snark. Perhaps I simply don’t follow Jessa enough though.

I think two things are going on: first, whether it's logical or not, people do tend to like Jessa more than Jill. I'm not sure whether it's appearance-related. I know I've heard that people have a bias in favour of good-looking people. I personally think that both Jessa and Jill are individuals of above average attractiveness, and that Jessa is not much better looking than Jill. But who knows.

I think the second issue is what's really at play, and it's basically what I said in my first post: that Jessa is far better at navigating social media than Jill. She knows what looks good and what doesn't. She has far better social awareness. She also does not have a dead weight of a VERY objectionable and unpleasant husband tied to her. You have to understand that people LOATHE Derick (for good reason) and when Jill constantly makes social media posts puffing him up as the #besthubbyever!!! it doesn't serve to endear people to her either.

Whether Jessa is actually a better or more likable human being than Jill is unclear to me, but it makes perfect sense that you'd get far fewer negative comments when the stuff you're posting is generally more pleasant/polished/inoffensive. 

In a nutshell: Jessa is much, MUCH better at the social media game.

[nst]

i had a tv bookshelf from ikea that I had for 20 years. Chairs. my sofa is from as is in ikea.

Who doesn't love as is in ikea?

anyone hear of the ginger jar? 

[kiwi]

[mention=26485]kiwi[/mention] I heard a rumor that IKEA was opening a store in Auckland

Unfortunately I think its just a rumour. Most companies who are going into the development that Ikea was rumoured to be in have announced already [emoji30] Auckland is about 1500km away from me (and across the Cook Strait)

Id be happy with just a big factory and no retail- just ship items to people instead.

[crancraz]

On 4/4/2019 at 3:00 PM, apandaaries said:

I have heard of those and am hoping they make it to the States soon.

I just moved over the summer and am still dealing with storage issues. You have all inspired an ikea trip in my future.

They have the veggie meatballs at my IKEA in Tempe, AZ. They were delicious. 

[Sky with diamonds]

2 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

Why do people hate on Jill yet jizz themselves over Jessa? Is it simply because Jessa has the prettiest face (according to Hollywood culture norms) with the Angelina Jolie pout? Is it because Jessa is knocked up all the time or because people are baby obsessed?

I don’t get it. Jessa is no different than Jill. However, their Instagram commenters are completely different. Then again, I’m not a Duggar fan.

Maybe I just don’t understand the Jessa fans that jizz themselves over her pregnancies and babies? As a woman, pregnancy is great and having kids is amazing but there is more than life than to being a baby-machine. How can society treat women equal to men if we spend our time obsessing over other women’s weddings, pregnancies, and their babies?

I’m a believer in getting married, having kids, and moving the hell on with impacting the world. By moving on, I’m referring to developing a healthy identity that does not represent a stereotype of how a woman should spend her time compared to a man. Just because women don’t have a penis doesn’t make us less important and I’m trying to make sure I do my part by not acting like a 1950s housewife stereotype or a Lori A fanatic.

Men need to stop comparing other females to their “ol’ ditzy wives in the kitchen busying about the children and trying to DIY the reno for the bedroom AGAIN” and they won’t stop doing it until we view ourselves as the important and equal individuals that we are.

Maybe it’s harsh but it’s the cold, hard truth. We need to focus on being as passionate as women like Hillary, RBG, and AOC instead of falling into the domestic boxes patriarchy tries to place us in. 

Disclaimer: I’m also preaching to myself. I ended up blocking Pinterest and Facebook. I realized that if I want to help my fellow women to be taken as seriously as men, then I need to stop playing into a patriarchal domestic role. Women, whether they are SAHM or working moms can develop an identity of influence and serve our communities. Nancy Pelosi was a SAHM of 5 kids for YEARS before entering politics. If I’m itching for something domestic to do (renovate, decorate, or bake, etc.) I ask my husband to help me. If I crave Pinterest, I check CNN, Bloomberg, or Wall Street Journal. I’m more interested in the economy and politics than make-up now.

I don't hate Jill. I do think Jessa is much more savvy, relatable than Jill is, or Jill ever was from what I could see. I think Jessa has learned to hold back in some regards, and Jill has not. I hope Jill will learn someday, maybe she could without Jim Bob, and Derick being her headship. 

The only Duggars I intensely dislike are Michelle, Jim Bob and Josh. I feel saddness for Jill. She deserves better than the ass she married, but she deserved better than being raised by her parents and literally doing their work for them.

[fluffernutter]

I'm going to be the odd one out and say it's a girl. My heartburn was awful and I had three girls. I needed IV fluids with the last baby, it was so bad. 

[Granwych]

3 minutes ago, fluffernutter said:

I'm going to be the odd one out and say it's a girl. My heartburn was awful and I had three girls. I needed IV fluids with the last baby, it was so bad. 

Maalox was my friend during my pregnancy.  Wychling didn't have much hair, either.

[Audrey2]

5 hours ago, WiseGirl said:

Late to the IKEA discussion but my favorite item from them is the day-glo yellow vest with reflector stripes for about $3.00us. Best purchase ever! I wear it when walking the dogs in the dark so the idiots who drive too fast in the neighborhood will see me. So far it has worked.

Thank you for wearing it.

As someone who sticks to the speed limit, it always concerns me when people walk/bike/walk the dogs after dark on a dark street while wearing dark colors and do nothing to make themselves seen. Safety is everyone's responsibility- the driver to pay attention, follow the speed limit (and not tailgate the person driving the speed limit while putting the sign in their front yard, "Drive like your child lives here), and the pedestrian to make themself easily seen.

[luv2laugh]

If all we can contribute is discussing other women’s weddings, pregnancies, babies, baking cookies, and our grocery list in life... how can we expect men to take us seriously as equals? Shouldn’t we challenge each other to cultivate significant interests and tell our husbands to do their part (whether that be baking, changing a diaper, or grocery shopping)?

Are we hurting other women by solely living our lives in the domestic sphere rather than taking on a significant, individual identity (whether that be through work or volunteering)? 

Why should we encourage other women to partake in discussion of the best Pinterest cookie recipe vs. educating the themselves on the stock market or politics? 

Why do you think Biden has been considered a leading candidate despite the recent inappropriate touching scandal over someone like Kamala Harris?

For instance, would you want your daughter to find someone like Jessa or Kirsten Gillibrand relatable? Would you want your daughter to be like Jessa or AOC (or Hillary, Meg Whitman, Marissa Mayer, etc.) Let’s be real.

I’d like to challenge myself, and other women, to consider if we’re actually helping other women by engaging in only stereotypical domestic-sphere interests or hurting each other. If that’s the case, perhaps we all, especially Jessa, can change that. It is never too soon or too late in life to realize the power we have as women and do what we can to make progress.

[victoriasponge]

14 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

Over 300 miles for me. And it might be the same one that's 150 miles from you. 

Ours is ‘only’ 70 miles. But the roads there are appalling because there’s no motorways this end of the country and I’m not liking Ikea enough for the 3-4 hour round trip. 

Ive got an Ikea bed I had delivered and a second hand Ikea wardrobe that’s falling apart. I don’t particularly like either of them. They’re too bland for me. But I can’t afford the solid oak furniture I actually want on a single teacher’s salary.

I need to marry a banker. 

[just_ordinary]

9 hours ago, Pecansforeveryone said:

I am going to predict a third little boy for the Seewalds. I know Ben once upon a time wanted 15 sons. It would be really interesting if their 1st 4-6 children did end up all being boys. Would the boys become brother-dads? Help with chores like laundry and cooking? I do think Ben does some of the cooking so I don't think he is uber rigid in all gender roles. It would be interesting if the 1st 4-6 being all boys would shape Ben and Jessa's parenting style versus their being a mix of boys and girls in the bunch.

The nice thing for Fundies is that they adapt and suddenly it’s absolutely fine for boys to cook, wash and clean.

[Glasgowghirl]

Jessa for the most part posts nice pictures and videos of her, Ben and the children and they don't look forced. She has gotten it wrong a few times, her post about potty training Spurgeon was one of those times, she hasn't even replied to comments asking about him training since, so maybe she has realised her post was not appropriate. 

Jill posts a lot of videos and pictures that show the boys doing dangerous stuff that most people would not put on social media. Jessa's pictures of Ben interacting with Spurgeon and Henry seem natural compared to Derrick's with Izzy and Sam, where they seem forced a lot of the time. Jill has said Derrick was the best hubby ever for buying her chocolate milk, she must have low expectations from him.

[VelociRapture]

5 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

If all we can contribute is discussing other women’s weddings, pregnancies, babies, baking cookies, and our grocery list in life... how can we expect men to take us seriously as equals? Shouldn’t we challenge each other to cultivate significant interests and tell our husbands to do their part (whether that be baking, changing a diaper, or grocery shopping)?

Are we hurting other women by solely living our lives in the domestic sphere rather than taking on a significant, individual identity (whether that be through work or volunteering)? 

Why should we encourage other women to partake in discussion of the best Pinterest cookie recipe vs. educating the themselves on the stock market or politics? 

Why do you think Biden has been considered a leading candidate despite the recent inappropriate touching scandal over someone like Kamala Harris?

For instance, would you want your daughter to find someone like Jessa or Kirsten Gillibrand relatable? Would you want your daughter to be like Jessa or AOC (or Hillary, Meg Whitman, Marissa Mayer, etc.) Let’s be real.

I’d like to challenge myself, and other women, to consider if we’re actually helping other women by engaging in only stereotypical domestic-sphere interests or hurting each other. If that’s the case, perhaps we all, especially Jessa, can change that. It is never too soon or too late in life to realize the power we have as women and do what we can to make progress.

I have a daughter, so I can answer this. I’d want her to figure out for herself who she relates to more, not dictate it for her. As a mother my job is to offer her a wide variety of options and then support her in what she feels is best for herself. If that means she ultimately ends up enjoying fashion and makeup and talking about weddings then I’ll support those interests even though they aren’t things I usually enjoy discussing. Being a parent means putting your child first by loving and supporting who they are, not forcing them to conform to your standards. 

I wouldn’t want her looking up to Jessa Seewald not because Jessa is a SAHM or because she might enjoy stereotypically feminine activities, but because Jessa is involved in a creepy cult that promotes homophobia, Transphobia, patriarchal beliefs, and would happily take her right to choose away from her. The creepy cult and activities considered stereotypically feminine aren’t mutually exclusive. 

I could be misreading your posts completely. Maybe your intent was to comment specifically on the toxic Fundie culture of IBLP, but the way you wrote your comments makes it seem as if you’re opposed to women discussing or showing interest in any activity you appear to believe is frivolous.

(And just as a side note, maybe women shouldn’t be so concerned about what men think of their interests?)

[tabitha2]

Yes.

Let’s force, pester and preach at our Daughters who adore caring for children and really enjoy fashion into being a scientist or into politics because it’s our own dream and we won’t consider them relevant or worthy to be taken seriously if they don’t and they know it.   It would be crazy talk to support  their passions in such a way they can be both fulfilled and make living at even if they choose to be a  housewife later , right?   

You deserve all that happens afterwards. 

 

 

[zcccrv]

I WOULD be sad if my hypothetical daughter only showed interest in fashion, marriage and babies. I hope I would not judge her for it but I would absolutely feel disappointed on the inside. It's not a matter of profession or higher education (or male approval), I have zero problems with homemakers who never attended college, it' a matter of general curiosity for things this world has to offer. Finding out about animals and plants, human history, social justice, the universe, biological makeup, art, humor and thousands of other things- it' s matter of a curious brain not focused on one or two things. Fashion is heavily pushed upon young females through marketing and social media. There's nothing inherently wrong with the interest but I would argue that it has become too money (and attention) driven.

You get women commenting how they would enjoy their daughters only caring about "feminine" things but then you read comments about Alyssa Bates, who is a poster-girl for said lifestyle, which state how shallow and uneducated (or even dumb) she appears to be. I do think there is a certain double standard here. Yes, she has had fewer options to choose from than the regular young woman (which is also partly debatable because Michael will be going to college, Josie is still working while pregnant and Tori appears to not care about fashion in the slightest) but that doesn't change the perception of the person who is the result of her or her parent's choices. It's either dumb or highly focused on specific things, irrelevant of the person's background.