Josiah & Lauren 13: Drift, Duggars, Drift (Miscarriage Content Warning)

[Chickenbutt]

Seeings how people are asshats, maybe Josiah and Lauren should just shut down their Instagram account for a bit. Get some distance, grieve and heal as much as they can, then come back. Said asshats will have moved on to something else by then. 

[Iamtheway]

She’s a sheltered 19 year old that believs children are a blessing directly from god and that feels that she has lost a baby. She is probably completly heartbroken and is most likely wondering what she did wrong.

I am a huge heathen that is firmly pro choice and I didn’t count my child as an actual child until I could see him on the outside. I did not think of my loss as a baby yet but the kind of comments she is getting would still have broken me at that time.

I just wish people would leave her alone and I’m glad Joshia (because I am assuming it is him) is defending her and telling people off. They don’t even know her and are still so insensitive. Some people should only be allowed internet when supervised. 

[VelociRapture]

8 hours ago, Vivi_music said:

I love how this is a snark board, so technically people who are not here to rave about the Duggar life-style, yet we have more common sense then the leghumpers on Instagram (who pretend to love the Duggars so much, yet ask the most insensitive questions).

I’ll agree with this. I’ve made my thoughts on pregnancy speculation in general pretty clear, but at the very least people here have the decency not to run to their social media accounts and make the same comments over there. There’s always a chance that they’ll see all the stuff we write about them here (because they do know about the site), but it’s less likely than them simply logging into Instagram and immediately seeing a ton of comments about it.* Hopefully they’re both handling everything ok and they’re leaning on one another for strength and comfort when they need to. 

8 hours ago, Chickenbutt said:

Seeings how people are asshats, maybe Josiah and Lauren should just shut down their Instagram account for a bit. Get some distance, grieve and heal as much as they can, then come back. Said asshats will have moved on to something else by then. 

Unfortunately I don’t think that’ll be the case for them. I think they could go on a very long break, come back, and still be dealing with these comments. It’s the only thing their fans care about because TLC and Si’s parents created that fervor for more babies with the original show. It’s unfortunate to me that SiRen are the ones paying for that obsession (and I do think their fans interest in their reproductive lives rises to an unhealthy obsession at this point) because as far as I remember they’ve never publicly mentioned how big a family they wanted and they’ve made it pretty clear in my opinion that the continued commentary isn’t really welcomed by them. 

*ETA: And that doesn’t just go for pregnancy speculation. I think FJers as a whole are good about “not interacting with the Fundies in their natural habitats” about pretty much any topic we discuss here.

Edited May 2, 2019 by VelociRapture

[theotherelise]

They should go on a social media break for the incessant baby announcements alone! I deleted facebook at the end of last year, I heartily use the mute feature on IG, and you better believe I'm deleting that instagram app next Friday before the mother's day onslaught. 

They had a miscarriage in October, had to hear about Jessa's pregnancy through a family announcement probably in Nov/Dec, then dealt with Christmas, then in January Jessa announced publicly, in Feb they announced their miscarriage and had it featured on the show and in the media, probably had a family pregnancy announcements from Kendra, Joy and Anna in March-ish followed by public ones over the last 3 weeks. In May, next week is Mothers day, then her birthday, then father's day and her first wedding anniversary in June, and her expected due date in July. And in that time, it would not be unlikely for Abbie to announce a pregnancy too. This young couple has been put through the ringer and it's not over yet. (I know pain from miscarriage can continue for an entire lifetime, but that first year is especially hard for people). 

My advice would be to get off social media, get a good therapist, maybe look for a support group, and find a way to spend your time that brings you fulfillment while also providing some distraction.

[AtlanticTug]

45 minutes ago, theotherelise said:

 

My advice would be to get off social media, get a good therapist, maybe look for a support group, and find a way to spend your time that brings you fulfillment while also providing some distraction.

This is pretty problematic when they come from a culture that has indoctrinated them with the belief that the only thing that can bring fulfillment is marriage and a horde of children. I don't think that any therapist (referring to real ones, not quack fundie ones) could break through that so long as Lauren and Josiah have not actively decided to break free of the shackles of their culture and religion.

[theotherelise]

@AtlanticTug well, I certainly don't expect them to see or take my advice!

That said, therapists and counselors tend to be adept at respecting each component that contributes to wellness for an individual. From the outside, it's easy to say that these families believe the only thing that can bring fulfillment is marriage and a horde of children, but they're not actually super logical with their beliefs. We do know that Jana has led talks about serving others in whatever life situation you are in and "using your singleness." We know that others have gone through miscarriages and received public support from their families, not weird blame-driven epithets. We know that Michael and Brandon have received public support from her mom and some of her sisters who claim to admire Michael's faith during a difficult challenge. 

It would be really easy to say these people just think marriage and babies are the truest and only blessings and singleness, miscarriages and infertility prove God doesn't love you or you did something wrong or you can't be fulfilled. I don't think they follow the throughline of their own stated beliefs. They are irrational and unpredictable. They say their views are simple and based on the Bible, but in practice there is a lot of contradiction.

Anyway, therapy can be useful for a lot of things. Sometimes those things are just having a safe space to cry and say you're angry. And cognitive behavioral therapy can at least give you tools for handling stressful or triggering situations and cope with grief. 

[SillyDillys]

Jfc one of the biggest reasons I didnt open up about my miscarriage to friends was because of all of the pity I would get. Josiah and Lauren announced it, they talked about it, they should be able to move on without everyone constantly huddling over them because it doesnt help, at least for me it didnt.

Anyway I'm fine with speculation in boards because it's not in their face. They can choose to seek or block it out. But to go on their Instagram page and comment such insensitive shit on their page about how their time will come and "they're next" pisses me off. I'm sure its painful enough having to endure all these pregnancy announcements but to just get all these comments constantly reminding you of what you lost. Come on now

[Ivycoveredtower]

On 5/2/2019 at 9:48 AM, theotherelise said:

 

They had a miscarriage in October, had to hear about Jessa's pregnancy through a family announcement probably in Nov/Dec, then dealt with Christmas, then in January Jessa announced publicly, in Feb they announced their miscarriage and had it featured on the show and in the media, probably had a family pregnancy announcements from Kendra, Joy and Anna in March-ish followed by public ones over the last 3 weeks. In May, next week is Mothers day, then her birthday, then father's day and her first wedding anniversary in June, and her expected due date in July. And in that time, it would not be unlikely for Abbie to announce a pregnancy too. This young couple has been put through the ringer and it's not over yet. (I know pain from miscarriage can continue for an entire lifetime, but that first year is especially hard for people). 

her due date was actually the beginning of June. Jessa said her and Lauren had the same Due date and that must be one of the hardest things for Lauren. 

On 5/2/2019 at 9:48 AM, theotherelise said:

 

 

[Glasgowghirl]

On 5/2/2019 at 8:30 PM, SillyDillys said:

Anyway I'm fine with speculation in boards because it's not in their face. They can choose to seek or block it out. But to go on their Instagram page and comment such insensitive shit on their page about how their time will come and "they're next" pisses me off. I'm sure its painful enough having to endure all these pregnancy announcements but to just get all these comments constantly reminding you of what you lost. Come on now

I think snarking on here and other sites is one thing and it can be fun at times but we do need to also remember that we are snarking on people's real lives. The difference between here and the group ran by Pickles was that most people here expressed their sorrow for Josiah and Lauren and respected that they are grieving the loss of their child. Pickles posted the rumour Lauren was pregnant again causing people to ask them about it.

When they decided to talk about the miscarriage, they had mentioned that well meaning people were asking about when their announcement would be. I think that was one of the reasons they decided to speak about it. 

[just_ordinary]

I agree with most comments here. I don’t follow those Fundies officially anywhere because I feel it’s a bit hypocritical to give them the follower/clicks/likes while I completely reject their way of life. I also would never interact with them online (or offline). I even have a hard time justifying to be on an public snark board sometimes.

But in this particular case people didn’t comment on their SM profile but Josiah and Lauren commented on Joys, congratulating, and people reacted to their comment. I still don’t think it’s what people should do but that’s it different than those crazy fans commenting on their normal non baby related posts with rude speculation or even plain asking. 

 

[Peaches-n-Beans]

On 5/2/2019 at 10:48 PM, theotherelise said:

They should go on a social media break for the incessant baby announcements alone! I deleted facebook at the end of last year, I heartily use the mute feature on IG, and you better believe I'm deleting that instagram app next Friday before the mother's day onslaught. 

bolding is mine but - there's a mute feature on IG? Where can I find it? I'm going on a muting spree when i do I swear

[Ivycoveredtower]

14 hours ago, Peaches-n-Beans said:

bolding is mine but - there's a mute feature on IG? Where can I find it? I'm going on a muting spree when i do I swear

if you are on the IG app and you click the three little dots across from the person's name  a box will pop up with the words 

copy link 

report

turn on post notifications  and 

Mute 

hope this helps. 

this is if you are in your feed. if you're actually on their page there are a few more options like hiding your story from them. 

Edited May 5, 2019 by Ivycoveredtower

[Peaches-n-Beans]

6 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

if you are on the IG app and you click the three little dots across from the person's name  a box will pop up with the words 

copy link 

report

turn on post notifications  and 

Mute 

hope this helps. 

this is if you are in your feed. if you're actually on their page there are a few more options like hiding your story from them. 

Thank you so much! 

I'm definitely muting my 13/14/15 year old cousins who seem to think instagram is just a place to post emo quotes and vague about how sucky your boyfriend is but I can't unfollow cause we're related.

[Ivycoveredtower]

so Lauren and si now have a no IG handle it's now siandlaurenduggar according to their story they have finally got their user name changed. like it takes more then a minuet to do so. ?

[twoandthrough]

Is it possible that it does take a while for Instagram to change celebrities? I'm not saying they are celebs, lol, but they do have the blue check mark, making them official on Instagram. I'm not sure. I know I can change my handle at any time, and it's instant, but I also have a private profile and fewer than 1,000 followers, haha. I wonder if it's a process for them since they have the blue check mark. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

Lauren got a dress from the bates sisters boutique I think it looks nice on her 

 

[Glasgowghirl]

12 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

Lauren got a dress from the bates sisters boutique I think it looks nice on her 

 

She suits it and she is better suited for modelling dresses than Jill is, Jill's pictures look awkward a lot of the time.

[Ivycoveredtower]

Just now, Glasgowghirl said:

She suits it and she is better suited for modelling dresses than Jill is, Jill's pictures look awkward a lot of the time.

well I'm also sure Lauren isn't having a four year old taking the pictures, Jill has said that she bribes Israel to take her pictures. 

[Glasgowghirl]

26 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

well I'm also sure Lauren isn't having a four year old taking the pictures, Jill has said that she bribes Israel to take her pictures. 

True, I don't see why she doesn't just wait until Derick is home or go and ask a sibling to take the pictures, Jessa takes good pictures of Spurgeon and Henry and would do better job at taking pictures than Israel.

[beepy13]

4 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

Lauren got a dress from the bates sisters boutique I think it looks nice on her 

 

She's also not wearing a white t-shirt underneath it to make it more modest. +10 to Lauren!

[justmy2cents]

5 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

Lauren got a dress from the bates sisters boutique I think it looks nice on her 

 

Unlike the yellow dress in the previous picture, this one doesn't overwhelm her petite frame. Looks great.

[adidas]

I can’t understand how anyone (looking at you JRod) would think this isn’t modest.

She looks great, the dress is cute and flattering ... and it is definitely modest! It is a great choice and I hope Lauren feels good in it as well.

[Audrey2]

9 minutes ago, adidas said:

I can’t understand how anyone (looking at you JRod) would think this isn’t modest.

She looks great, the dress is cute and flattering ... and it is definitely modest! It is a great choice and I hope Lauren feels good in it as well.

Let's see, according to JRod, the neckline is too low, the sleeves too short, the hem way too high, and not enough make-up. Also, the hair isn't high enough.

[neurogirl]

I'm not sure where is the best place to put this, and I do wish Josiah and Lauren the best, but I would just like to point out Marjorie Jackson continuing to live her life. She graduated from Bob Jones University in December, has published two devotional children's books, is serving as a speaker at the Christian conferences in their circle, and was just in the Caribbean wearing a normal bathing suit. Her younger sister is currently studying at Oral Roberts, as well. Still very Christian and influencing others, but at least she gets to follow her own dreams in some way.

 

[OyToTheVey]

Marjorie living the life! You can still be religious without being crazy. She’s living proof. 

 

PS the bathing suit is really cute.