Josiah & Lauren 13: Drift, Duggars, Drift (Miscarriage Content Warning)

[VelociRapture]

2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Why is it crass to quietly wonder if a person of childbearing years is PG? Asking aloud or gossiping about such,sure, but to wonder? Heck when  my niece showed up at Christmas obviously PG with #3 we all just waited for her to announce- even those of us who would never make a comment about the contents of another’s uterus still wonder! 

I wouldn’t speculate about a PG for most reality TV stars, only those who have made or who currently make their living off mass reproduction.

Popping back in very briefly just because your comment got me thinking. For me, having a thought cross your mind about whether someone could be pregnant is one thing. Putting that thought out into the world via verbal or written communication is another. There is a difference in my mind between the two because one is probably harmless (merely thinking something) and the other has potential to cause harm (actually communicating the thought.) I say it has potential to cause harm because you don’t know what someone else is dealing with and it could be hurtful if your words ever got back to them, whereas merely wondering something probably doesn’t have that same potential since you kept the thought to yourself.

Does that make sense at all? Because that’s partially the perspective I’m coming at this discussion from. 

(That and I honestly do not see the appeal at all in dissecting another person’s body via photographs or why people find it so necessary to constantly speculate when we know they’ll eventually announce when they feel ready.)

Edited April 24, 2019 by VelociRapture

[Pretzel]

@VelociRapture Sorry, but I have trouble following your argumentation. E.g. you just recently said in a different thread that Jinger was comparable to Tofu and that she seems like she's never had an original thought of her own. Tell me how that is any less hurtful if these words ever got back to her? How is snark like that more justified than speculation about whether a couple will soon have another child? The Duggars and their children-in-law make much ado about reproduction, in fact, they even would like to infringe on other people's reproductive rights and they have a TV show mostly focused on marriage and reproduction and the people on the show choose to be on the show (disclaimer: I have no idea about the underage kids and would definitely exclude them from this, but everyone 18+ is technically able to say "sorry, I'm out!").

I personally find the whole "is (whichever fundie) preggers??!!!!111" discussion moot and boring, and I've elaborated on it in a previous post, but when you talk about pregnancy speculation bearing the possibility of hurting the people which the discussion is about, you gotta ask which part of snark in the big fundie context would NOT be hurtful if word ever got around to them? 

 

Edited April 24, 2019 by Pretzel
language....

[Blessings of the Corn]

On ‎4‎/‎23‎/‎2019 at 11:08 AM, BachelorToTheRapture said:

The tshirt under the (already fairly modest) dress seems a little close to JRod MODESTY!!111!11!1!!1!!

I know. I really, really love her yellow dress, but the shirt underneath is completely unnecessary! The neckline is already quite modest*eye roll

[VelociRapture]

2 hours ago, Pretzel said:

@VelociRapture Sorry, but I have trouble following your argumentation. E.g. you just recently said in a different thread that Jinger was comparable to Tofu and that she seems like she's never had an original thought of her own. Tell me how that is any less hurtful if these words ever got back to her? How is snark like that more justified than speculation about whether a couple will soon have another child? The Duggars and their children-in-law make much ado about reproduction, in fact, they even would like to infringe on other people's reproductive rights and they have a TV show mostly focused on marriage and reproduction and the people on the show choose to be on the show (disclaimer: I have no idea about the underage kids and would definitely exclude them from this, but everyone 18+ is technically able to say "sorry, I'm out!").

I personally find the whole "is (whichever fundie) preggers??!!!!111" discussion moot and boring, and I've elaborated on it in a previous post, but when you talk about pregnancy speculation bearing the possibility of hurting the people which the discussion is about, you gotta ask which part of snark in the big fundie context would NOT be hurtful if word ever got around to them? 

 

I’ll try to respond in the same order you worded your post. Apologies in advance if I miss something or flip things around by mistake. And I’m sorry this ended up being kind of long too. 

I went back to see the context of the comment and conversation you referred to. I wanted to be clear about both prior to responding. Yes, I suppose Jinger could be hurt by that if she were to read it. That comment, however, was made in the context of discussing how deep into the Fundie culture she is despite how she and Jeremy would like to appear to the general public. And based off their beliefs, she could even end up seeing it as a somewhat positive comment - a Godly daughter and wife is supposed to follow her Headship’s lead and Jinger’s personality appears to be very well suited for that. They might think Jinger is obviously doing a good job of following Jeremy's lead if a Godless heathen like me can see it or something along those lines. But yes, I do think there is a possibility Jinger could be hurt by it and I see your point on that regard. I don’t know whether the pregnancy speculation could be turned in that manner to be viewed as a positive by them though, especially in a case like SiRen’s where there was a known loss and we have good reason to believe they had a difficult time emotionally with that loss. It’s definitely possible they could ultimately see it as a positive, but I’m having trouble thinking of how. 

I’m well aware of the Duggars’ opposition to reproductive freedom, as well as the basic human rights for certain minority groups as well. As an American, their backwards views could end up having a direct impact on my life and the lives of people I know (and don’t know, but still care about their well-being) as well. It doesn’t mean I can’t occasionally feel sympathy when something legitimately bad happens to them that was none of their fault - I don’t take joy in the genuine suffering of most other people (not saying anyone here does by the way, just that’s it’s possible to feel several things at once.)

Yes, I agree. Minor children are absolutely excluded as they very likely have no real say in anything regarding filming. The adults have a choice, but I am left wondering how much say Lauren in particular had with the filming about her miscarriage. There is a good chance she was more than willing to discuss it on camera because testimony and that’s absolutely her right, but there’s also a good chance that she was subtly and kindly pressured or manipulated by her in-laws or TLC as well. She’s still a teenager and comes from a very sheltered family, so she might not have grasped the fact that people would feel entitled to discuss her fertility after sharing that experience*. I think a lot of the blame on that should be with TLC honestly because they absolutely should have known better than use such a vulnerable moment in their lives for gain the way they did. 

Speaking more generally now, I did specifically mention that was only partially why I’m not a fan of this form of speculation though. Another poster put it much better in another thread, but a lot of times this speculation devolves into basically holding women to impossible physical standards (at least when the speculation focuses on perceived physical changes), which is simply unfair to women in general. And as I also said, I see absolutely no point in constant pregnancy speculation when the Duggars (and Bateses as well) eventually announce their pregnancies publicly - I think we probably agree on that point. The speculation is allowed, the pushback is allowed, both will continue to be allowed, and I absolutely accept the Admins’/Helpmeet’s decision on that - the less real rules we have and the more community policing the better this place seems to function. It seems most people don’t have an issue with this type of speculation, so maybe that’s just a sign that these threads aren’t for me right now and that’s ok. 

*I think that’s a big part of the issue for me in this specific case. She’s a legal adult and is absolutely responsible for her choices, but she’s still also a very sheltered teenager at the same time. It’s a weird kind of situation that most of the other Duggars and their spouses have escaped because many of them were in their 20s when they married and, as far as we know, most them have not had miscarriages at such a young age.

[Ivycoveredtower]

5 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

I’ll try to respond in the same order you worded your post. Apologies in advance if I miss something or flip things around by mistake. And I’m sorry this ended up being kind of long too. 

I went back to see the context of the comment and conversation you referred to. I wanted to be clear about both prior to responding. Yes, I suppose Jinger could be hurt by that if she were to read it. That comment, however, was made in the context of discussing how deep into the Fundie culture she is despite how she and Jeremy would like to appear to the general public. And based off their beliefs, she could even end up seeing it as a somewhat positive comment - a Godly daughter and wife is supposed to follow her Headship’s lead and Jinger’s personality appears to be very well suited for that. They might think Jinger is obviously doing a good job of following Jeremy's lead if a Godless heathen like me can see it or something along those lines. But yes, I do think there is a possibility Jinger could be hurt by it and I see your point on that regard. I don’t know whether the pregnancy speculation could be turned in that manner to be viewed as a positive by them though, especially in a case like SiRen’s where there was a known loss and we have good reason to believe they had a difficult time emotionally with that loss. It’s definitely possible they could ultimately see it as a positive, but I’m having trouble thinking of how. 

I’m well aware of the Duggars’ opposition to reproductive freedom, as well as the basic human rights for certain minority groups as well. As an American, their backwards views could end up having a direct impact on my life and the lives of people I know (and don’t know, but still care about their well-being) as well. It doesn’t mean I can’t occasionally feel sympathy when something legitimately bad happens to them that was none of their fault - I don’t take joy in the genuine suffering of most other people (not saying anyone here does by the way, just that’s it’s possible to feel several things at once.)

Yes, I agree. Minor children are absolutely excluded as they very likely have no real say in anything regarding filming. The adults have a choice, but I am left wondering how much say Lauren in particular had with the filming about her miscarriage. There is a good chance she was more than willing to discuss it on camera because testimony and that’s absolutely her right, but there’s also a good chance that she was subtly and kindly pressured or manipulated by her in-laws or TLC as well. She’s still a teenager and comes from a very sheltered family, so she might not have grasped the fact that people would feel entitled to discuss her fertility after sharing that experience*. I think a lot of the blame on that should be with TLC honestly because they absolutely should have known better than use such a vulnerable moment in their lives for gain the way they did. 

Speaking more generally now, I did specifically mention that was only partially why I’m not a fan of this form of speculation though. Another poster put it much better in another thread, but a lot of times this speculation devolves into basically holding women to impossible physical standards (at least when the speculation focuses on perceived physical changes), which is simply unfair to women in general. And as I also said, I see absolutely no point in constant pregnancy speculation when the Duggars (and Bateses as well) eventually announce their pregnancies publicly - I think we probably agree on that point. The speculation is allowed, the pushback is allowed, both will continue to be allowed, and I absolutely accept the Admins’/Helpmeet’s decision on that - the less real rules we have and the more community policing the better this place seems to function. It seems most people don’t have an issue with this type of speculation, so maybe that’s just a sign that these threads aren’t for me right now and that’s ok. 

*I think that’s a big part of the issue for me in this specific case. She’s a legal adult and is absolutely responsible for her choices, but she’s still also a very sheltered teenager at the same time. It’s a weird kind of situation that most of the other Duggars and their spouses have escaped because many of them were in their 20s when they married and, as far as we know, most them have not had miscarriages at such a young age.

as far a duggar miscarriages go the only one that has discussed a miscarriage publicly besides Lauren was Anna, she miscarried between Makenzie and Micheal. so she was about 21. but she didn't talk about it right away and it was kind of slipped into an episode about her father's prison ministry. 

I think if say Jessa ever has a miscarriage it probably won't be discussed on the show because Jessa waits until 12-14 weeks usually to announce even to her family. well Josiah and Lauren decided to announce before she even went to the doctors. so TLC already had the announcement filmed and then she miscarried. so they had to have her say something about it. 

[VelociRapture]

20 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

as far a duggar miscarriages go the only one that has discussed a miscarriage publicly besides Lauren was Anna, she miscarried between Makenzie and Micheal. so she was about 21. but she didn't talk about it right away and it was kind of slipped into an episode about her father's prison ministry. 

I think if say Jessa ever has a miscarriage it probably won't be discussed on the show because Jessa waits until 12-14 weeks usually to announce even to her family. well Josiah and Lauren decided to announce before she even went to the doctors. so TLC already had the announcement filmed and then she miscarried. so they had to have her say something about it. 

TLC didn’t actually though. They hadn’t started airing the episodes at that point and probably could have chosen to edit it out - I want to say there was a four or five month window between the miscarriage occurring and when the episode aired. If they had a choice in the matter then Josiah and Lauren absolutely had the right to decide to allow it to air, but I really think TLC dropped the ball big time by allowing it to happen the way they did. 

And yes, I know Anna had a previous miscarriage between Mack and Michael. If they wanted to handle that experience privately at first then I’m glad they had the chance to do so and to reveal that news when they felt ready. 

[Pretzel]

My point was not that there could be any positivity drawn from snark if any fundie was ever to read what‘s being said about them. I think that ANY snark has the potential of being hurtful. It does not matter whether it‘s about bodies, reproductive organs, or intellectual capabilities. I doubt that Jinger would be all "yay! Done everything right!" If she read that she seems to never have had an original thought on her own. I assume none of us have ever had a conversation with her or actually know her well enough to base that snark on. 

I am stressing again: we all comment on the basis of what the Duggars provide, and that is their show. As long as they keep providing people with that basis and making a good living offthat show, people will comment, and some of these comments some people might think are too much, yet others deem justified given that they base on material that is publicly available, and some aspects interest some people more, others less. The Duggars have made the miscarriage public, so people will speculate. Could it be that Lauren was more or less sweet talked into sharing rather than wanting it? Absolutely. But could it be that Jinger DID have an original thought in her life? Also, absolutely. We just don‘t know them so EVERYTHING in that regard is speculation somehow and not more or less justified. Does that make sense? (@velocirapture Excuse my beating on that one Jinger comment, but it serves well in this context as an example of snark that is *not* about physical appearance).

Would I wish that there was less pressure on women and their bodies? Absolutely. But I also am astounded how reproduction speculation is perceived as offensive when comments about intellectual ability are not. The thing with the Duggars is that frequent pregnancies are the one visible, tangible spot about their ideology. Being meek and submissive is also on their list of attributes of godly women, but that part of their religion is less obvious, therefore less people are going to focus on it. Most followers don‘t know as many details about them as people do who follow them closely and have some background knowledge.

Don‘t get me wrong, I have a soft spot for Siah and Lauren and am bored as much as you are by the pregnancy speculations because whether we speculate or not, one Duggar will always sooner or later be pregnant. I understand that people who‘ve suffered losses react more strongly to these speculations, which shows that there are great people with compassion on this board. The object of the speculation, however, are still the Duggars who choose to share and earn money doing so. Some people will find pregnancy speculation fair game, others find character judgment acceptable, etc. You‘re probably right that there won‘t be a consensus on what‘s acceptable any time soon. I feel repetitive, but again, no matter what kind of discussion people engage in,  I think everyone should remember to apply common sense and stay respectful when approaching the Duggars directly. 

 

 

[Eponine]

I'm not sure if I'm right about this, but I had the impression that Lauren only addressed the miscarriage because there was so much speculation about her being pregnant. It didn't exactly seem to me like she wanted to open up that discussion, but felt pressured by various things outside her marriage. I don't follow Duggar statements particularly closely, but it has never seemed to me that the 2nd generation (besides maybe Anna?) has ever spoken about their personal fertility with as much enthusiasm and JB & Michelle always did. She and Josiah obviously profit from the collective Duggar fertility so I understand the speculation.

But honestly for me, a Duggar or Duggar wife NOT being pregnant is way more compelling to me - if by choice, well, that's interesting for obvious reasons, and if not by choice, I think it would be interesting to see how that's handled in terms of the family and religion. (Not that I think they would share that with the public!)

[Sullie06]

Just jumping back to the rainbow baby talk for a minute. Technically both of my children are "rainbow babies" however I only really refer to my son as such. My son was born after a traumatic loss at 9 weeks, 3 years of infertility after the loss, 9 failed fertility treatments and a very stressful pregnancy. My daughter was conceived 2 months after a loss at 12 weeks. I have some sort of strange calm about that loss and her subsequent pregnancy. Even to this day I feel my first loss has had a much bigger impact on my life. My son really was the rainbow after a huge storm. 

[Iamtheway]

Miniway was conceived less then two months after my miscarriage and I think that’s the reason it doesn’t feel like a big deal to me, because if that pregnancy had stayed I wouldn’t have Miniway.

It was horrible at the time though. We had tried for five years, had done five failed ivf:s and it happened the same week my nephew was born. He was the second child my sister had had since we started trying. Both my best friend and Mr Way’s brother had just had babies as well. Most of our friends and relatives had at least one baby while we were trying. The time of the miscarriage really was the lowest point of my life. But I was also so down at that time that the miscarriage didn’t even feel surprising. It was just how it was meant to be. Thinking back at it now makes me remember how incredibly sad I was.

Now I just feel like all those eggs and the billions of sperm had to get out of the way so we could get to the perfect egg and sperm that created Miniway.

Yes he is a bit spoiled and thinks the world revolves around him, but he is my miracle child and if I want to tell him he’s the best and that I love him more then everything in the world every day then who’s going to stop me?

[BernRul]

I might be in the minority here, but I'm kind of hoping that Lauren is not pregnant.

I feel terrible for her for having gone through a miscarriage. It was clearly devestating for her, and I don't think anyone really deserves that kind of pain/loss. But I can't in good faith wish for her to get pregnant again immediately either. She's only 19. She and Josiah are still getting to know each other, and compared to other couples, they don't seem particularly in love, at least from what they show to the public.  She's so young and inexperienced, and besides, I can't wish any baby to be born into that cult. 

Maybe in a few years, when she and Josiah get to grow as people (and grow away from funimentalism? a girl can dream) and have life experience, but she's a teenager who has been living away from her parents for less than a year. I feel bad enough that Kendra is having 2 when she's not even 21. 

[Exposedknees]

3 hours ago, Iamtheway said:

Miniway was conceived less then two months after my miscarriage and I think that’s the reason it doesn’t feel like a big deal to me, because if that pregnancy had stayed I wouldn't have Miniway 

 

Same with me, 21 years ago I  miscarried very early in my 2nd pregnancy. It was so devastating at the time, I felt broken...but then I conceived my awesome 2nd daughter  9 weeks later. ( It was recommended to wait 8?) I was really worried, and downright scared for the first trimester, but after a healthy birth my feelings about the miscarriage faded. I had planned for 2kids@2 to 2 and a half years apart. I got 3 years apart and they're perfect. 

[PainfullyAware]

In the broader context the miscarriage discussion on TLC seemed exploitative. In the interviews specifically, I felt like the way Si handled talking through the miscarriage, seemed quite protective and caring towards Lauren. He voiced his own feelings but gave her space to talk about hers, and he took on any awkward questions or stepped in when she hesitated answering something she probably didn't want to. So I was left feeling like they do love each other and that's hopefully been supportive for her during this time. More broadly of course they subscribe to something that will be oppressive and difficult for any young woman trying to find her purpose in life, especially if they have ongoing fertility issues (since so much store is socially set on motherhood for women in fundie land). As someone going through infertility my perspective on pregnancy speculation has changed. It's such a painful trigger to so many people reading, why bother until it's announced. I get wondering if 18 mos after the last delivery you might wonder about family planning and how that fits with the worldview. But just thinking a slight belly means something is hard to read for people struggling to get or keep a pregnancy, (never mind general fat shaming of women). There's so much else to talk about. 

[lizzybee]

I had a miscarriage in February. I feel like everyone is pregnant and it's hard because I want to be as well. My bff is pregnant and we had the same due date. I can't imagine having to see her as much as I'm imagining Lauren does with Jessa. Gotta be tough and with so many people getting pregnant around her. Ouch. 

[theotherelise]

Lauren's IG stories have this pic right now:

This seems like something a really thoughtful husband would do if his sister-in-law had just announced another pregnancy in the family not too long after your miscarriage. For whatever reason, well done Josiah. Whether Lauren is pregnant again or not, I'm sure it was nice for her to receive a beautiful gift like this.

[Glasgowghirl]

12 minutes ago, theotherelise said:

Lauren's IG stories have this pic right now:

This seems like something a really thoughtful husband would do if his sister-in-law had just announced another pregnancy in the family not too long after your miscarriage. For whatever reason, well done Josiah. Whether Lauren is pregnant again or not, I'm sure it was nice for her to receive a beautiful gift like this.

Josiah always seemed like one of the more caring and sensitive Duggar's and I'm glad he is being so caring and supportive to Lauren, having 3 of your in laws and your husband's cousin announce they are pregnant not long after you have had a miscarriage must be horrible and while I'm sure Lauren is happy for them, she will also be thinking how she should still be pregnant. 

[Sullie06]

On 4/26/2019 at 5:38 PM, Iamtheway said:

Miniway was conceived less then two months after my miscarriage and I think that’s the reason it doesn’t feel like a big deal to me, because if that pregnancy had stayed I wouldn’t have Miniway.

I feel the same way about our daughter. I could have had both my first angel and my son, and I think about that often but I couldn't have had my second loss and my daughter and she completes our family so perfectly. We were meant to parent her, I 100% believe that. 

[just_ordinary]

On 4/23/2019 at 7:42 PM, zcccrv said:

I only recently heard the term and the first thing I thought it meant, without knowing the real meaning but understanding it was something in the broader context of misscarriage, was that it meant a fetus that died but is still in the womb. It is probably because of the rainbow bridge term. I was relieved to learn the real meaning. "Rainbow baby" was casually and repeatedly mentioned in Instagram comments of a celebrity who just announced her pregnancy and the morbidity of multiple strangers commenting on her dead baby (as I perceived it) was quite something for me. It says something either about myself or about our Internet oversharing culture, that I didn't find it impossible to conclude. 

I thought the term „rainbow baby“ refers to the bible. The rainbow (-Noah-) as a sign that god will not forsake his people but bless them in the end.

On 4/27/2019 at 3:02 PM, lizzybee said:

I had a miscarriage in February. I feel like everyone is pregnant and it's hard because I want to be as well. My bff is pregnant and we had the same due date. I can't imagine having to see her as much as I'm imagining Lauren does with Jessa. Gotta be tough and with so many people getting pregnant around her. Ouch. 

Big hugs to you. I was in a similar position after the loss of my first pregnancy. It was very hard to be genuinely happy for my friend who conceived shortly afterwards (in her 1st cycle, always hesitating if she really wanted a baby before) and I didn’t always succeed. Obviously I didn’t show it to her but kept this to myself. After my miscarriage it took my body about three months to regulate and another two normal cycles to conceive again.  Two other friends have conceived in their first cycle as well (one after a miscarriage) and it stil hurts that conceiving isn’t something that just happens to me. I feel I am an absolute pro about NFP and Ovulation Stripes. It’s ok to grieve and I think it’s ok to have bad thoughts along the way.

I hope your dream comes true and till then I can only offer warm virtual hugs ?.

[VBOY9977]

I feel bad for Lauren, she must be going through so much. And she’s only 19. She shouldn’t be worrying about weather she conceives yet. I wish she would just focus on her marriage and on enjoying her rs with Josiah. I worry that the extra stress of trying to become pregnant will actually affect her fertility

 

[AtlanticTug]

7 minutes ago, VBOY9977 said:

I worry that the extra stress of trying to become pregnant will actually affect her fertility

 

I know that this comes from a good place but as somebody who battled infertility (5 fresh IVF cycles, 3 frozen transfer cycles, 6 miscarriages) this is just as hurtful to hear as what she pointed out in the Instagram. And as my therapist, who worked on the first IVF case in our state, told me, there is absolutely ZERO research to indicate that stress plays a role in infertility and suggesting that it does places blame on the woman for yet another perceived failure. 

[VBOY9977]

32 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

I know that this comes from a good place but as somebody who battled infertility (5 fresh IVF cycles, 3 frozen transfer cycles, 6 miscarriages) this is just as hurtful to hear as what she pointed out in the Instagram. And as my therapist, who worked on the first IVF case in our state, told me, there is absolutely ZERO research to indicate that stress plays a role in infertility and suggesting that it does places blame on the woman for yet another perceived failure. 

I’m really sorry, it wasn’t my intention. I have anxiety and it has given me a lot of problems with my menstrual cycle and now get painful cysts fairly regularly. It was confirmed as a hormonal imbalance because I also got increase hair growth and acne. My anxiety also gave me chronic gastritis, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Every time I had exams in college I would get stressed and my pain would be so bad. 

So I was just hoping Lauren’s menstrual cycle and body in general wasn’t as affected as mine is if she is indeed having increased stress. 

But I definitely know it’s not the only thing that comes to play, and I definitely don’t want anyone to blame themselves. 

 

Edited May 1, 2019 by VBOY9977

[Italiangirl]

18 minutes ago, VBOY9977 said:

I feel bad for Lauren, she must be going through so much. And she’s only 19. She shouldn’t be worrying about weather she conceives yet. I wish she would just focus on her marriage and on enjoying her rs with Josiah. I worry that the extra stress of trying to become pregnant will actually affect her fertility

 

Angry reaction for the comment on instagram not for you. I just don't understand why people feel the need to say such stupid things on someone else instagram, is not even like is someone they know... 

[Markie]

Would be exciting for Lauren to have a baby on Christmas Day! The whole family would love that. They could name him Jesus or Noel or name her Holly or Noelle. Holly Duggar sounds cute...

[VelociRapture]

Much like with the Keilens I genuinely feel badly that they’re dealing with such stupid comments on social media, but I can’t bring myself to hope they have kids. As far as we know they have the same beliefs as the rest of the Duggar family and I can’t wish that on an innocent kid. As I say with the Keilens, I will hope that they find happiness and fulfillment in their lives as they currently are and they continue to do so as they grow older.

[Vivi_music]

I love how this is a snark board, so technically people who are not here to rave about the Duggar life-style, yet we have more common sense then the leghumpers on Instagram (who pretend to love the Duggars so much, yet ask the most insensitive questions).