Bontragers and Bowers 3: Kittens Having None of Their Shit

[ViolaSebastian]

Aside from the utterly hateful and deplorable views, it seems like Mitchell was having issues trying to articulate his ideas. This may be from nervousness, but he doesn't come off as a ringing endorsement for homeschooling in that video.

[Palimpsest]

18 hours ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

FJ consensus that they are fun, rule-breaking anti-Maxwells.

Where on Rufus's Green Earth did you get the impression that there is a consensus on FJ about that?   IMO, the Bonts present a prettier package but that makes them more dangerous if anything.

[AliceInFundyland]

They have better food. Chelsy is lively. As @singsingsing said...compared to the Maxwells it’s a low bar - funwise.

Nothing else is different. 

People (and this is not directed at you, Nachos) really need to read more of this forum. I didn’t see how deep the sameness was of the intolerance and the hate...and how little the surface changes mattered until I was reading all over.

I am still shitty at the specifics. Pretrib, posttrib, midtrib, Calvin, Luther, Fred, Rufus. Eh.

Staying focused on one fundie is okay but you lose so much.

 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, singsingsing said:

Being more fun than the Maxwells is not a high bar.

I’m more fun than a Maxwell.  Less than a root canal, but more than a Maxwell.

[deborahlynn1979]

Allison continues to convince everyone that SHE IS SUPER HAPPY AND CONTENTED IN BEING SINGLE. Like, so incredibly happy about it. She lists what all she did for others today (which is strange, because today isn't over, yet the entire post is written in past-tense), and she mentions texting friends "to affirm something I appreciate about their marriage."

Whuuuut? 

And then there's this:

Quote

 

Texted a divorced friend.

Honestly, sometimes it’s hard to know what to say in the face of someone’s very real and very raw pain. But I figure it’s better to try than not. So I texted a dear friend and just told her that no matter how much it felt like love on this earth had failed her, there is a Heavenly Love that never will, and He holds all her tears in a bottle, and says she is beautiful + cherished today.

 

Oh my God, how condescending. 

 

And THEN she goes on to talk about how she wrote cards to her younger brothers "from their future wives."

 

This is really unhealthy.

[JermajestyDuggar]

22 minutes ago, deborahlynn1979 said:

Allison continues to convince everyone that SHE IS SUPER HAPPY AND CONTENTED IN BEING SINGLE. Like, so incredibly happy about it. She lists what all she did for others today (which is strange, because today isn't over, yet the entire post is written in past-tense), and she mentions texting friends "to affirm something I appreciate about their marriage."

Whuuuut? 

And then there's this:

Oh my God, how condescending. 

 

And THEN she goes on to talk about how she wrote cards to her younger brothers "from their future wives."

 

This is really unhealthy.

I agree that it’s unhealthy. I’ll post exactly what she wrote. I think Allison treats her brothers like surrogate boyfriends and it needs to stop. I’m glad she’s honest but I don’t want her little fundie girl leghumpers to think this is healthy. Because it’s not. There is nothing wrong with being close with your siblings. But treating them like your practice boyfriend is only going to cause problems. It’s so obvious she was jealous of her now “sisters in love” when they were dating her brothers. And how could she NOT be jealous?! She set herself up to be jealous as hell! Why do that to yourself? Especially since she lives in a culture where she has to wait around for some guy to show interest when her brothers can go out and find a girl whenever they please. I’m sure her parents encourage this. It’s beyond fucked up and I wish she would stop it already. 

[browngrl]

My comments on stuff Allison did for Valentine's day:

Cards and gifts to single female friends and single sisters: This seems odd and OTT to me but ok whatever.

Flowers for grandmother and cookies for the whole family: I think these are two nice ideas and if my grandmother was alive, I would consider sending her flowers and I have cooked nice meals or thrown a party for groups of friends/family.

Texted married friends about what I appreciate about their marriage: very odd IMO, Don't make it weird Allison. Keep your nose out of your friend's marriages.

Texted a divorced friend: If worded well and written to someone who welcome this sort of thing: might be a kind thing. If worded badly or sent to someone who would rather not be reminded of Valentines day: might make the friend feel much worse.

Wrote cards to brother's from their future wives: No. Just no. At best this seem presumptuous or pompous and at worse it sounds really icky. 

 

Edited February 14, 2019 by browngrl
changed "of" to "on"

[usedbicycle]

Allison has gone too far in the emotional incest with her brothers but this kind of tops it all. 

Can I confess something? In 6th grade, the teenage girls at my church had a talk about purity and the speaker told us that loving and serving your Dad was the best training for being a wife someday. All that baloney somehow "convicted" me that I had been a bad daughter, and for a while I remember being really sugary sweet with my Dad, answering him with "yes Daddy", fetching him water, serving his plate first, and stuff like that. I even asked him about what he liked me to wear (yuck). All these ideas had been shared with us by the speaker lady.

It got pretty weird to the point that my whole family noticed and asked if I had done anything wrong to act like such a suck up. That was pretty embarrassing and the phase passed quickly. Now that I think about it, I want to shove a finger down my throat. 

Anyway, just saying that Allison probably heard somewhere that serving her brothers is great preparation for being a good wife (and we all know how much she wants to be married). She's definitely using them as emotional surrogates and it's definitely  unhealthy. 

[fundiefan]

I about gagged when I got to the part about cards from her unmarried brothers' future wives. If anyone ever thinks the Bons are "better' than other fundies or less freakish, all they need to do is read that post and see what they do to their offspring. 

Also, as someone who is divorced, I really wouldn't apprecite a pity message or card or letter. My life did not end when i got divorced - in fact, it began anew and I have never been happier, no matter what has, does or will come my way. 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

18 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

I about gagged when I got to the part about cards from her unmarried brothers' future wives. If anyone ever thinks the Bons are "better' than other fundies or less freakish, all they need to do is read that post and see what they do to their offspring. 

Also, as someone who is divorced, I really wouldn't apprecite a pity message or card or letter. My life did not end when i got divorced - in fact, it began anew and I have never been happier, no matter what has, does or will come my way. 

 

I don’t think anyone thought the Bons were less freakish after Allison wrote a blog about Nurturing her brothers’ manhood and Pa Bon talked about Steve’s scrotum at Chelsy’s wedding.

Edited February 15, 2019 by JermajestyDuggar

[ophelia]

I somehow feel for Allison. She seems so desperate. 

Denver is turning 20 today and I can totally see him getting married this summer. Probably to a somebody who is also willing to go on tour with the band, like Cassidy. This will break Allison. 

Was Chelsy also that desperate when she was single?

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 hours ago, ophelia said:

I somehow feel for Allison. She seems so desperate. 

Denver is turning 20 today and I can totally see him getting married this summer. Probably to a somebody who is also willing to go on tour with the band, like Cassidy. This will break Allison. 

Was Chelsy also that desperate when she was single?

I remember Chelsy writing about how she was so happy for her younger brothers. Yet the whole time she was in a relationship with John. So of course she wasn’t jealous or depressed because she knew she was next. Allison is not hiding a relationship though. It seems pretty obvious she’s single right now. 

[petrushka]

On 2/13/2019 at 2:56 PM, ViolaSebastian said:

Aside from the utterly hateful and deplorable views, it seems like Mitchell was having issues trying to articulate his ideas. This may be from nervousness, but he doesn't come off as a ringing endorsement for homeschooling in that video.

It was downright painful to listen to Mitchell for a number of reasons; that young man should have been in speech therapy years ago.  The Bontragers have no excuse for not addressing this when he was still at home.  

[HereticHick]

In honor of Allison's V-day activities, I've changed my location,

It would be pretty weird to get texts from single friends complimenting me on my marriage.I guess I'd just say "Thank You" and change the topic? I'd feel like they were fishing for me to say things like "Oh,and I know that God is going find you a godly husband soon, just keep praying!" 

Oh, and Allison-- you have ZERO IDEA what your brothers' future wives are going to say about them. How you perceive them may not be how the future little Mrs. Bontragers will perceive them. Fundy wimmen are not interchangeable.

 

[singsingsing]

54 minutes ago, petrushka said:

It was downright painful to listen to Mitchell for a number of reasons; that young man should have been in speech therapy years ago.  The Bontragers have no excuse for not addressing this when he was still at home.  

He has a slight speech impediment. He is (unfortunately) perfectly comprehensible. The vileness coming out of his mouth is far worse than how he articulates it. I'm so ready for people to stop treating speech impediments like some kind of hideous defect. 

Edited February 15, 2019 by singsingsing

[ViolaSebastian]

1 hour ago, singsingsing said:

He has a slight speech impediment. He is (unfortunately) perfectly comprehensible. The vileness coming out of his mouth is far worse than how he articulates it. I'm so ready for people to stop treating speech impediments like some kind of hideous defect. 

Just to be clear, I wasn’t referring to his speech  impediment at all. 

[HereticHick]

Woah-- epic road trip. The Bontragers & their bus are travelling all the way down Mexico to Belize.  I think its about 4,000 km from Iowa to Belize. Not what I'd  personally want to do with a 8 month old baby.

 

[singsingsing]

1 hour ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Just to be clear, I wasn’t referring to his speech  impediment at all. 

I didn't think you were.

[Black Aliss]

33 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Woah-- epic road trip. The Bontragers & their bus are travelling all the way down Mexico to Belize.  I think its about 4,000 km from Iowa to Belize. Not what I'd  personally want to do with a 8 month old baby.

 

That's pretty much the perfect time to be traveling with a baby, IMO. They still sleep quite a bit, if you're still nursing no worries about dealing with formula and bottles and they are pretty happy to be anywhere as long as they are with people who love them and shower them with attention. YMMV, of course.

[Coconutwater]

On 2/12/2019 at 12:10 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

Have we talked about Ellen Page interviewing the Bontragers a few years back about their beliefs about LGBTQ people? 

I don’t have cable and never watch Viceland or Gaycation so I’ve never seen this show on tv and it looks like it was aired before I joined FJ. Have any of you watched this episode?

If you watch, you’ll see how smily the Bons are about such a serious subject. It’s creepy as fuck. 

I just looked it up on Roku, the series is on Hulu it’s called gaycation. 

[HereticHick]

1 hour ago, Black Aliss said:

That's pretty much the perfect time to be traveling with a baby, IMO. They still sleep quite a bit, if you're still nursing no worries about dealing with formula and bottles and they are pretty happy to be anywhere as long as they are with people who love them and shower them with attention. YMMV, of course.

Well, you make a good point there!  Lets hope that teen bride Cassidy isn't pregnant with #2-- traveling thru Mexico in a bus  with morning sickness isn't my ideal.

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’ve always hated traveling with babies/toddlers because both of mine would scream their head off until they barfed. I was finally able to give them Dramamine at the age of 2 and things got better. Traveling for months with a baby is my idea of hell on earth. 

[ViolaSebastian]

19 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Well, you make a good point there!  Lets hope that teen bride Cassidy isn't pregnant with #2-- traveling thru Mexico in a bus  with morning sickness isn't my ideal.

 

It's almost like fundies have some sort of "X-TREME PREGNANCY" contest. Priscilla heavily pregnant with two toddlers in Australia, poor Esther going through morning sickness and a long labor in trailer, and Anna just...ugh, having to deal with he-who-shall-not-be-named. I know that women with healthy pregnancies shouldn't necessarily be treated as delicate flowers, but it's my understand that pregnancy is pretty uncomfortable mentally and physically and that maybe the pregnant woman's comfort should factor into things a little bit. But, who am I kidding? These are fundies we're talking about. 

[AliceInFundyland]

Are those the outfits from John/Chelsy wedding?

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 minutes ago, AliceInFundyland said:

Are those the outfits from John/Chelsy wedding?

Their typical performing outfits are bridesmaids dresses from Mitch’s wedding, the double wedding, and Chelsy’s wedding. Those Bons are thrifty AF.