Jana 7: Home Sweet TTH

[SorenaJ]

I had beyblades! The plastic kind. They were fun. 

[mollysmom]

1 hour ago, Mama Mia said:

Wow. I just don’t understand that mindset. Maybe if the gift is something like a swing set , or a TV ( if they didn’t have one ) .  But something only one kid at a time can use? Why not just get them each a book, or yo-yo, or a puzzle? It doesn’t need to be expensive, just something that fits each kid’s interests . I don’t get people sometimes. 

I agree! My parents had 5 kids & we didn't have alot of money. I remember one year for Christmas, all 5 of us each got construction paper, scissors, pipe cleaners, markers, stickers, glue, glitter, etc etc for Christmas & we were thrilled!!! I'll never forget years later talking about Christmas & a few of us were telling my mom that that was our best Christmas ever & she started crying. She told us then that they had no money that year for Christmas and they didn't know what to do. They knew they "couldn't" just not give us anything, so my they decided the cheapest thing to do would be that, so thats what they did. She was so touched that that was our best Christmas ever and as little kids, we absolutely LOVED it.

[StraightOuttaArkansas]

10 hours ago, BachelorToTheRapture said:

Reading about gendered toys always makes me mad! I had little siblings I helped care for and I loved cooking in the real kitchen, I never wanted most "girl" toys. My parents would never let me tell people I didn't like their gifts though, that was bad manners, so I had to thank them for the dolls and barbies and say how excited I was to play with them, then next year I'd get more dolls and barbies since I was so happy to get them. My brothers meanwhile got all kinds of cool toys that they didn't even always share. I'm still pretty upset about some of the gender roles my parents pushed on me as a child.

I will say I think it is good manners to thank anyone for a gift given to you even if you don't like or want it. I taught my son to do this as well. I think fault (not with your parents, but this type of thing in general, please don't take this as criticism of you or your family) in this though is more when parents are not willing to separate out the difference and let the gift giver (assuming they know this person with be a repeat gift giver) know that the child is not interested in that toy e.g. letting people know that a girl does not always have to be gifted dolls or a boy can be interested in more than cars or construction toys. I have worked hard on my family understanding these concepts. I guess I see it as my job to teach my kid "yeah your gonna get stuff you don't want and don't like, but someone thought about you and spent their time and money on you so at least act thankful" and teach myself to say "Hey did you know little Outta is really interested in computer programming, I saw this wonderful mini robot kit I am sure he love for his birthday" when the conversation comes up. Little Outta is now a teenager and doing this has actually ended up teaching him to be thoughtful about the person he is giving the gift to.  He has is fail safe gift (candy or chocolate) and asks for opinions if he is unsure what to get someone. I curious to see where this leads as he gets older.

ETA: I hate gendered toys with a passion, so total agreement there.

Re: gifts being returned. That is just horrible, it reminds me of my dad though. He would tell us everything actually belonged to him even the gifts we got from him. Like my barbies were actually his. I hated this idea and it was very difficult to understand that this was not normal as a child. I figured it out by the time I was a teen, but if I messed anything up or broke a toy or something I got in so much trouble. I have no idea where he got such a messed up idea from. Like what did he think when gave a friend a birthday gift? Or his parents a Christmas gift?

[clueliss]

My sister got the country camper.  I had the Beach Bus.  But we were also raised with blocks, legos and lincoln logs.  My sister had a train.  I had a hot wheels race track.  We both had die-cast metal cars from the dime store.  Mom was progressive for the era (and  probably didn't know it)

[SapphireSlytherin]

I had diecast cars and a cool Mustang pedal car, but no trains or Hotwheels tracks. I also had Lego and Lincoln Logs and Tinker Toys. But that lack of microscope and chemistry set still stings. lol

[SassyPants]

5 hours ago, mollysmom said:

I agree! My parents had 5 kids & we didn't have alot of money. I remember one year for Christmas, all 5 of us each got construction paper, scissors, pipe cleaners, markers, stickers, glue, glitter, etc etc for Christmas & we were thrilled!!! I'll never forget years later talking about Christmas & a few of us were telling my mom that that was our best Christmas ever & she started crying. She told us then that they had no money that year for Christmas and they didn't know what to do. They knew they "couldn't" just not give us anything, so my they decided the cheapest thing to do would be that, so thats what they did. She was so touched that that was our best Christmas ever and as little kids, we absolutely LOVED it.

Here's the worst part of the story. My thrifty ILs were multi-millionaires when they died. In their defense, they did immigrate to the US for a better economic future-

[fluffernutter]

I remember one year when the kids were little, and my husband had a job change with a move and we were broke. I got the girls a few toys, a book, an outfit, and pj's, all from goodwill and consignment. The "big" gift was a kitchen center-type toy. My husband and I each got a book for each other and the kids from a used book store. It's funny, those types of Christmases always do seem to be the most memorable. 

[neurogirl]

@Mama Mia If you have screenshots of the new and improved not-TTH Sims home, I'd love to see it! What a fun challenge!

[WiseGirl]

All aboard the speculation bus with In Touch! 

https://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/is-this-jana-duggars-new-suitor-see-the-suspicious-pic/

Hmm I'm going to go out on a limb and guess Dwreck was at school, Jessa took the picture, and most importantly where is that cutie Gideon? (That's the correct name for Joy's child, right?) I spy Samuel, Garrett, but no other little ones. 

[justmy2cents]

45 minutes ago, WiseGirl said:

All aboard the speculation bus with In Touch! 

https://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/is-this-jana-duggars-new-suitor-see-the-suspicious-pic/

Hmm I'm going to go out on a limb and guess Dwreck was at school, Jessa took the picture, and most importantly where is that cutie Gideon? (That's the correct name for Joy's child, right?) I spy Samuel, Garrett, but no other little ones. 

That guy looks a little like Craig Keilen, Brandon's brother. 

[SamuraiKatz]

You and I must be about the same age. I had the Country Camper too, and no Erector set. Also, no chemistry set, no microscope...
And I still managed to major in biology/pre-med. lol

I think we would be in the same birth cohort. ;-)

I was also totally ticked because I couldn't have a Big Jim to be Malibu Barbie's boyfriend. Ken was metrosexual before that word was invented.

[AnnaRuk09]

I’m kind of surprised InTouch added that last part at the end, that said they’re tired when everyone loses their mind when someone new is within a 25 mile radius of a single Duggar. 

His name is Paul and a longtime friend of the Duggar circle. He works as an SOS (I think) missionary and lives abroad mostly. In town for JD’s wedding it looks like. 

[WiseGirl]

@AnnaRuk09 and @SamuraiKatz I knew someone on FJ would be able to figure out who it was. I'm just trying to divert myself from anxiety over midterm elections...

[Iamtheway]

I don’t really want to start the speculation again (but also I do because I’m bored and cought up on all the threads).

If you zoom in it really looks like she’s looking at him ... what do we know?

 

Spoiler

 

[Shadoewolf]

He looks like a slightly older version of Austin to me. They're only sitting with Ben in between them and they didn't mention his name in the tag. Hmm. And some people were commenting in another thread that he and Jana probably aren't a thing because he's older. Honestly age shouldn't matter so long as he's not a creepy perv like Tabitha Paine's husband. Time will tell, but I predict it's either Laura or Jana with him.

[Purrl]

She can do better 

[tabitha2]

Jeremy is very handsome and polished. Because of course that’s what really counts  Let’s write off someone because of exactly one photo.

 

Nice. 

[AussieKrissy]

9 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

Jeremy is very handsome and polished. Because of course that’s what really counts  Let’s write off someone because of exactly one photo.

 

Nice. 

Do we trust anyone man's personality who willingly hangs out with the duggars?

I am pretty sure that fact alone would be enough to  write some one off for most on here.

If he wasn't in that photo with them, I would maybe think oh normal average looking bloke....

He is with Duggars, it colours my opinion, I see restriction, oppression and narrow mindedness along with many other things.

I do get where you are coming from though.... under normal circumstances.

[tabitha2]

I guess but Apparently Abbey is the current pet fundie and she sleeps with a Duggar and most people here don’t have much negative to say about the Bates adult children. 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

20 hours ago, Purrl said:

She can do better 

He’s too old for Jana IMO.  But he does have a cute smile and I think he looks like Gideon a bit.

[snickers34]

I can't believe I'm weighing in on this....but here we go.....

If you look on IG it doesn't look like she's looking at him at all. I think if you zoom in too far the pixelation gets all funky. It seriously doesn't look at all like she's looking at him on the actual photo.

[Rio]

On 11/2/2018 at 2:14 AM, mollysmom said:

I agree! My parents had 5 kids & we didn't have alot of money. I remember one year for Christmas, all 5 of us each got construction paper, scissors, pipe cleaners, markers, stickers, glue, glitter, etc etc for Christmas & we were thrilled!!! I'll never forget years later talking about Christmas & a few of us were telling my mom that that was our best Christmas ever & she started crying. She told us then that they had no money that year for Christmas and they didn't know what to do. They knew they "couldn't" just not give us anything, so my they decided the cheapest thing to do would be that, so thats what they did. She was so touched that that was our best Christmas ever and as little kids, we absolutely LOVED it.

My best Christmas was the year I was 9 and I opened small sewing notions individually wrapped, and a cookie tin to keep them in. My mom and her dear friend (who died early this year) selected the little gifts for me. It is 46 years later and we are all more comfortable financially and there have been many more extravagant gifts, but nothing will ever top how happy I was that Christmas with some embroidery floss, needles, pincushion, scissors, etc. Sometimes I wish my sons would have grown up poor, like we did, just so they could know what it’s like to be overjoyed on Christmas.

In the same vein, my ex-husband used to reminisce about the wonderful scent in the house when his mother baked bread and home-made beans, but as she later told him, that was when times were most desperate and she got beans and flour from the food bank.

[TZmom]

17 hours ago, Rio said:

Sometimes I wish my sons would have grown up poor, like we did, just so they could know what it’s like to be overjoyed on Christmas.

 

I understand this completely. I grew up poor with very young parents. There were times we almost lost our rented trailer because we couldn't afford it. But my mom always made sure we had a great Christmas no matter what.
My kids are not grateful for anything. Even though I do my best not to spoil them, just being comfortable financially has given them this attitude (well, that and my tactless husband. I love him, but he just doesn't know when to say "Thank you" instead of, "Oh, I don't like this"). It really annoys me.

[Mama Mia]

8 hours ago, TZmom said:

I understand this completely. I grew up poor with very young parents. There were times we almost lost our rented trailer because we couldn't afford it. But my mom always made sure we had a great Christmas no matter what.
My kids are not grateful for anything. Even though I do my best not to spoil them, just being comfortable financially has given them this attitude (well, that and my tactless husband. I love him, but he just doesn't know when to say "Thank you" instead of, "Oh, I don't like this"). It really annoys me.

Speaking of Christmas gifts......

I spent a lot of years working in social service programs that help obtain and coordinate holiday gifts for families who need help. Some tips if you donate to these kind of efforts:

1- Pick the oldest kids. Nobody wants to get them things, everyone picks babies ( who have no idea what’s going on) and tiny kids - who are perfectly happy with things from the Dollar Tree.  

2- If they haven’t provided a wish list - A good gift for tweens and teens is a gift certificate for movies or a clothing or electronics store, or Target - the Mall etc...where they can get something they like and shop like the other kids. Put  it in a pretty wrapper, include a box of candy or other small gift that anyone would like.  Older boys are often particularly left out.  

3- Often entire families are “adopted” by a business or church group-with individuals each shopping for one family member.  if you do this please, please make sure that every family member gets roughly equal gifts. It’s really hurtful when one kid gets an x-box from the CEO, and their brother gets a coloring book from a clerk.  ( this happened once with a family I worked with, and the kids were twins - it was my first year dealing with holiday gifting, after that I always checked ! ) 

4- It isn’t usually possible, but if you know something of the history of the kids you are getting gifts for, adjust accordingly. If they are homeless  - think compact, portable and multi-functional- like an inexpensive tablet that doesn’t need wi-fi. Not a huge LEGO set. If their parents are just coming out of jail or have substance abuse issues - don’t give gifts that are easily convertible to cash. 

5- If it’s a project where you donate wrapped gifts, consider not putting a stick on tag with your name or other identifying info. Tape a note that describes the gift, and let the parent can take credit. It can mean the world for a parent with nothing to have “something” to give their kids. .

6- If you commit to donating a gift to a particular child or family please follow through. Or please let the sponsoring organization know if you can’t. I can’t even count the hours I’ve spent scrambling through lines at K-Mart on December 23rd scrapping together SOMETHING for kids who were supposed to have gifts delivered on the 22nd. 

7- Even with very limited funds- putting together a $10 box of art supplies can make a world of difference,

Thank you to everyone who puts time and their often scarce money into providing help to families on the holidays. There is SO much pressure and expectation built around providing a “good” holiday. And so much baggage around the inability to do so, and past baggage around the bad years....

just some thoughts . ?

 

 

 

[LacyMay]

Mr. May and I started doing Christmas gifts for our local angel tree type thing before we were even married and it's become my favorite part of the holidays every year I shop for a teen girl and him a 9-12 year old boy and we love it. His mom worked with local social service programs as well so we were also able to help pick and sort gifts for a couple years in the warehouse. 

My most memorable though was a couple years ago, I had just moved to my home province after our wedding and my mom was dealing with some pretty severe depression, she came with me to do the shopping for our angel tree gifts and she LOVED it. She was beaming from ear to ear and picked out her own gift for a little boy.

And that is why I love the holidays.