Josiah and Lauren Part 11: The Baby Watch Continues

[TeaELSee]

On 9/18/2018 at 2:25 PM, Lurky said:

It's such an odd way to start their married life, living in this huge place where they know they are essentially caretakers, until the place can be flipped.  It seems really sad to me, that Josiah goes from the shared boys' bedroom to living in a property his dad owns and can sell at any time, where they presumably can't decorate it in their own style. 

I agree, it would be a very strange way to live.

Is the house they are living in currently on the market?  If so, link up the listing! Is it a house or a commercial property?  Someone mentioned it had automatic glass doors which made me think it wasn’t a single family home. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

On 9/18/2018 at 11:55 AM, JesSky03 said:

Is there a forum for this on FJ? I've been thinking about going to meetings myself but its hard since I work full-time and when I'm not working I am always watching my 7 month old and I don't have family in town. My husband would support me going (he's the alcoholic) but I don't trust leaving him alone with the baby at this point. Anyway, finding an online support group would be great. 

There isn't a forum for that here - we're not equipped to be a support group of any kind.  However if people want to share links to legit support groups elsewhere on the internet that would be great.  

[Coconut Flan]

On ‎9‎/‎18‎/‎2018 at 9:55 AM, JesSky03 said:

Is there a forum for this on FJ? I've been thinking about going to meetings myself but its hard since I work full-time and when I'm not working I am always watching my 7 month old and I don't have family in town. My husband would support me going (he's the alcoholic) but I don't trust leaving him alone with the baby at this point. Anyway, finding an online support group would be great. 

I used to have a quote for this, but no FJ is not a support group and there is no wish to become one.  We aren't equipped to handle that kind of thing.   We do wish you the best in finding an appropriate group, but it's much better that we don't pretend to be something we aren't trained to be.  

[SapphireSlytherin]

I remember the quote - but can't put it into the exact words. It was posted in response to someone who posted that they were appalled that they had been "quoted" in a tabloid article, and the poster was upset that his/her "support group" had been compromised (or whatever s/he said) by the media.

[Coconut Flan]

Memory awoke:

 

[VelociRapture]

@JesSky03 I grew up with an alcoholic father. Thankfully he was never an angry drunk, but there are a few incidents from my childhood that still upset me to think about today. I can’t relate to your situation exactly, but I know it can be a scary and lonely experience. I took a quick look online and found this:

https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/virtual-meetings/

I know you said you aren’t comfortable leaving your son with your husband right now, so this may be a good option for you. 

(I haven’t attended any Al-Anon meetings. I’ve considered doing so in the past, but never followed through. Maybe other posters can confirm whether this looks like a legit and good option for you.) 

[BachelorToTheRapture]

6 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

@JesSky03 I grew up with an alcoholic father. Thankfully he was never an angry drunk, but there are a few incidents from my childhood that still upset me to think about today. I can’t relate to your situation exactly, but I know it can be a scary and lonely experience. I took a quick look online and found this:

https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/virtual-meetings/

I know you said you aren’t comfortable leaving your son with your husband right now, so this may be a good option for you. 

(I haven’t attended any Al-Anon meetings. I’ve considered doing so in the past, but never followed through. Maybe other posters can confirm whether this looks like a legit and good option for you.) 

I grew up with an alcoholic mother, and have chosen not to go to al-anon because of the god factor in the steps they have for you. I really don't know how heavily it's pushed, but the extreme Catholicism/religion as control that I experienced growing up makes me want to avoid it entirely. If you like to avoid religion as much as I do, this might not be a good choice for you.

[VelociRapture]

2 hours ago, BachelorToTheRapture said:

I grew up with an alcoholic mother, and have chosen not to go to al-anon because of the god factor in the steps they have for you. I really don't know how heavily it's pushed, but the extreme Catholicism/religion as control that I experienced growing up makes me want to avoid it entirely. If you like to avoid religion as much as I do, this might not be a good choice for you.

Thank you. I know next to nothing about support groups for this. I’ve just heard the name Al-Anon before and it seemed like a legitimate website. But yeah, it may not be a good option for anyone who isn’t overly religious. 

[TheOneAndOnly]

On 9/17/2018 at 5:47 AM, DillyDally said:

New instagram post:

 

I hope they're just tired and making funny faces because otherwise they look like they're about to go on a wholesome, fun murder spree. 

[SamiKatz]

My understanding of the "God" bent in Al Anon and AA is that it's whatever you perceive God to be.  So not necessarily the God of the Sistine Chapel but more of a higher power.

At least, that's what Russell Brand says.

[ati_escapee]

Does Josiah have an actual job? Or does he work for JB in some capacity? I am so confused as to whether anyone actually has a job (outside of family work) or not.

Not that it isn't okay to work for the family, it just seems like they make up pretend jobs for most of the (adult) kids.

[Rachel333]

1 hour ago, SamiKatz said:

My understanding of the "God" bent in Al Anon and AA is that it's whatever you perceive God to be.  So not necessarily the God of the Sistine Chapel but more of a higher power.

At least, that's what Russell Brand says.

It varies a lot from group to group, from what I've heard. I know atheists who have had good experiences with it, and I know others who quit because their group was really pushy about needing Jesus to recover.

As far as internet groups, I've heard really good things about stopdrinking on reddit. There was actually an article in the Washington Post about the group. There's also an AlAnon subreddit.

[HideousGreenShirt]

I'm finally caught up with the show and have worked out why they have such a weird vibe. They both seem so disinterested. In each other, the wedding, their lives together.

When they were out for the thrift store date and the wise married couples were offering advice Josiah is just vacantly gazing about the restaurant or focusing on his food. Lauren at her own wedding says "I'm as calm as can be" and seems totally meh about the whole thing. I get being a chill bride but she seems totally disinterested every time she's on screen. The exasperated sighs in their post wedding video. Even at the proposal and she's all "what is this?" there is no excitement. Other than their constant "I'm so grateful for you" parroting at each other. Which is bizarre and becoming as annoying to me as JinJer's baaaabe. 

Josiah in this relationship... It just smacks of David Waller's "my parents told me it was time to get married" statement. I'm not referring to any sexuality questions, just the fact that his parents said this is what your next step should be and he obeyed, when he clearly didn't want to/wasn't ready.

Wordy McWordsmith's endless essay here for those not familiar: https://www.davidlovespriscilla.com/about-us/david-story/

It'll be interesting to see their honeymoon episode and how they interact when they're not chaperoned. They just seem so indifferent. 

[Daisy0322]

On 9/20/2018 at 8:23 PM, BachelorToTheRapture said:

I grew up with an alcoholic mother, and have chosen not to go to al-anon because of the god factor in the steps they have for you. I really don't know how heavily it's pushed, but the extreme Catholicism/religion as control that I experienced growing up makes me want to avoid it entirely. If you like to avoid religion as much as I do, this might not be a good choice for you.

In Adicts Anonymous theyvtalk about a higher power a lot but not traditionally a God. It can be what you want to make of it- at least from what I know of

eta- it's more about sharing experiences and having a safe place to just say whatever and people get it

[Pecansforeveryone]

I have heard reports of some individual groups of AA being very preachy about religion and emphasizing you have to believe in God. (Obviously that varies from group to group) It can be extra challenging when there is a majority religion to default to and the meeting takes place in a church. A more consistent problem has been that AA/12 step programs can a very "our way is the only way approach." There is such a need for more strictly secular treatment programs and just more treatment options in general.

[KelseyAnn]

15 hours ago, HideousGreenShirt said:

I'm finally caught up with the show and have worked out why they have such a weird vibe. They both seem so disinterested. In each other, the wedding, their lives together.

 

 

That's because I'm almost positive it's a lavender marriage. 

[Daisy0322]

18 minutes ago, KelseyAnn said:

That's because I'm almost positive it's a lavender marriage. 

What is a lavender marriage?

[KelseyAnn]

2 minutes ago, Daisy0322 said:

What is a lavender marriage?

Basically, its when one (or perhaps even two) homosexuals agree to enter into a sham marriage to uphold the idea that they are, indeed, heterosexual. 

I basically did this in high school with a gay friend. 

[BunnyBee]

18 hours ago, HideousGreenShirt said:

I'm finally caught up with the show and have worked out why they have such a weird vibe. They both seem so disinterested. In each other, the wedding, their lives together.

When they were out for the thrift store date and the wise married couples were offering advice Josiah is just vacantly gazing about the restaurant or focusing on his food. Lauren at her own wedding says "I'm as calm as can be" and seems totally meh about the whole thing. I get being a chill bride but she seems totally disinterested every time she's on screen. The exasperated sighs in their post wedding video. Even at the proposal and she's all "what is this?" there is no excitement. Other than their constant "I'm so grateful for you" parroting at each other. Which is bizarre and becoming as annoying to me as JinJer's baaaabe. 

Josiah in this relationship... It just smacks of David Waller's "my parents told me it was time to get married" statement. I'm not referring to any sexuality questions, just the fact that his parents said this is what your next step should be and he obeyed, when he clearly didn't want to/wasn't ready.

Wordy McWordsmith's endless essay here for those not familiar: https://www.davidlovespriscilla.com/about-us/david-story/

It'll be interesting to see their honeymoon episode and how they interact when they're not chaperoned. They just seem so indifferent. 

I completely agree! I said exactly this after their engagement episode. People said that she knew it was coming, because courting is just pre-engaged but still. I knew my engagement was coming but I was still over come with emotion. Siah also took the time to decorate and choose a meaningful spot and she was still so unemotional. Almost like it was the second or third take for the show. 

[Dandruff]

Could it be that Lauren and Josiah don't want to be on the show, but their parents said do it, so they're trying to be as not entertaining as possible?  Just a thought.

[Carm_88]

6 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

Could it be that Lauren and Josiah don't want to be on the show, but their parents said do it, so they're trying to be as not entertaining as possible?  Just a thought.

It would be a good idea, except the whole show isn't entertaining and TLC is still bringing it back!

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

It would be a good idea, except the whole show isn't entertaining and TLC is still bringing it back!

They really need to change the name of their network.

[cascarones]

From what I've seen there is a solid foundation of friendship between Josiah and Lauren. We've seen other spouses take quite a bit of time to become comfortable with the cameras, other relationships to be comfortable with being filmed even if they're camera comfortable individually. Their babies will grow up comfortable with professional camera crews, unless the Duggar train runs out of tracks.

[TheOneAndOnly]

Maybe they're just more private people and are acting disinterested because it's the most polite way of not engaging with an uncomfortable conversation that they can get away with? I've done stuff like that as a teenager back when dinosaurs roamed the earth.

[SassyPants]

IMO, the difference in Lauren's "look" in this IG photo vs her wedding and other photos is the lack of the overly tanned skin. She looks much better without the fake bake/orange skin.