Seewalds 34: No News Yet

[Carm_88]

Spurgeon is "helping" cut grass it seems! 

[Rachel333]

@StraightOuttaArkansas I'm another Arkansan! I grew up in Fayetteville. It seems like there are more Arkansans than average here, which makes sense given the Duggar connection.

[Mama Mia]

@StraightOuttaArkansas Some advice, with getting medical help. There are some health problems Dr’s tend to be really dismissive of. Digestive issues and constipation in particular, seem to fall into that  category. 

Something I’ve found helpful for getting action on other health problems is to focus on giving concrete ways the problem impacts my life / functioning / health. Like - because of the constipation he misses school due to stomach pain, is unable to eat, .....whatever the issues are. Really emphasize any possibly related health/ functioning problems it causes. 

 

 

 

[Ivycoveredtower]

be ready for cuteness overload. 

Spoiler

 

 

[Chewing Gum]

Both boys are gorgeous. And I love the dark hair-blue eyes combo. 

[victoriasponge]

19 hours ago, StraightOuttaArkansas said:

Though this last one did put in a referral to  see a specialist, but we are in the UK and that could take forever to get into, same with the therapist, but we will get him on the list.

It can take a while, but if you get to see the specialist before you move, definitely take it. They've been excellent with jaw issues I've had and have fit the appointments around me moving and travelling around the country perfectly. On the other hand, they've been useless with my period issues so ymmv with the NHS.

Additionally, did you get put in for the specialist before you found your son's underwear? If so, it might be worth (politely, kindly etc.) explaining this development. It's getting to a point where it's severely affecting quality of life and there is normally a priority list to this sort of thing - since he's now getting older and it's getting more severe, it might be worth updating the doctor and seeing if there can be some movement. It might also be worth working with the school/local council to see if they have any therapy provisions you aren't sure about for additional needs. (The primary school I'm working at from September has a child therapist that comes in twice a week)

My mum has a very limited private insurance which only clocks in when specialist appointments/referrals take too long to get. Not sure if it'll work for pre-existing but I'm pretty sure it's cheap so it might be worth looking into? I'm not sure what it's called though I'm afraid.

Best wishes for you and your son. I've been battling the NHS for seven years now over my periods, I know how soul-destroying doctors not really helping can be. (And how upsetting it is to be embarrassed over something so private as a teenager)

[adidas]

I think Henry is going to be tall - he has enormous feet! 

[Marly]

I can't take a screenshot because I can only find the post on instragram on my phone, but Jessa got a reaction to the pictures of Spurgeon on the mower, someone saying: "don't you think he should be out of diapers by now?".
To which she responded: "My philosophy is that if they aren't able to do the whole thing from pulling their pants down and getting themselves on the toilet, to pulling their pants back up and washing their hands, then they aren't ready. Otherwhise it feels like it's actually the parent who's potty training and doing all the work *smiley* Lol! I've been around kids, and I'm aware of the signs of readiness. My 2 1/2 yr old is getting close, but not quite there, so we're not rushing it". 
Especially after reading all the potty train stories here, I'm glad she's not rushing it!

What was the person who made that 'shouldn't he be out of diapers by now' remark even thinking? Not your place to judge, Lady. Out of all the things you could snark on Jessa for, I think that, especially considering the whole previous discussion about potty training we've had here, this is not a topic to judge her on like that. If she were to have eleventy kids and have the older ones parent and potty train the youngest, then yes, that would be something to snark on, as we do with for example Michelle Duggar and Kelly Bates, but that is a whole different case than judging her (and Spurgeon) for Spurgeon not being potty trained yet. 

[Thorns]

3 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

be ready for cuteness overload. 

  Hide contents

 

 

I thought Henry was Sam for a moment (ok, for an embarrasing long moment, while I tried to make sense of the photo, caption and why Jill posted something coherent on Jessa' account... Blaming a warm night with bad sleep.)

[StraightOuttaArkansas]

21 hours ago, DillyDally said:

Among other terms, we use the word "Slip" for underwear in German (for men and women). So you'll understand why I was very confused the first time I read about those modesty slips some fundie maidens wear underneath their skirts. 

This confused me so much when I first moved to Germany and was learning German. I though I had heard it wrong. I think it is a bit old fashioned now though? I only know "Unterhose" as being commonly used, but I was in the North.

 

@AisThank you so much for the confidence booster. I do find how I am "parenting" (probably more planning to) my newborn is much different than I did with my older son. Also thank you for the NHS info. We will for sure make him appointment ASAP to get it on record again and push for the referral to be taken seriously. We did get a letter from the pediatrician (?) confirming they had received the referral. I will check if they have a secretaries number on there and give them a ring. That is really excellent advice, I would have never thought to do that, I had no idea so many appointments are actually cancelled.

@just_ordinary Yes he just turned 14. The thing with the laundry is, I can't (couldn't) implement that solution since I didn't know the problem was going on. When I did do the unders wash I always gave him a basket and had him sort it out himself (all socks and unders, which originally started because I was confusing my husbands and my sons socks so I decided to just wash them in separate loads) that night before and to leave downstairs in the morning. That was working well so it was not like I was going through and checking them for poo stains. He would also occasionally wash a pair out and let me know he had needed to change. It was enough that I did not suspect anything. I do think he was/is super embarrassed about it. I don't know how he could not be considering how my ex has apparently shamed him about it the entire time (which I did not find out till Feb, complex family situation here). I think our only recourse at this moment as far as talking will be letting him know we could them and took care of them, but that we know the issue is still ongoing and he needs to be honest at minimum that he needs another doctors appointment. I have told him in the past that he could just say that if he was uncomfortable talking to us, but I think he is also uncomfortable talking to a doctor ("strangers" in general are not his thing).

@Greendoor That is hard to step to take admitting your baby is a young man! I am working towards this. He is really really bad with responsibility so we have been intensely working on that bit over the last year. He lost a lot of independence when we moved to the UK and we have tried to give him back all he had, but a lot the ways things were being done are just not the same so I am still looking for ways to bring it back in. He really does need to do more around the house. We were planning on the cooking a meal thing once a week and I totally forgot about that (he does know how to cook several meals, I don't want him going off to Uni and having to live off frozen pizza only!). I do see your point though, he is growing up and I really have to let him. I will have a talk with my husband (who is so much more objective than I am with him) and see where he thinks we can make changes on this already and come up with a plan for more. I see this with my little sister who is 19, she ended up moving back home after her first year away at Uni because she could not cope with being on her own and I really don't want that for my son. I want him to be independent ans explore and have his own life, I really need to get busy on making that a reality!

@Mama Mia I had that feeling, I will make sure we do this at the next appointment.

@victoriasponge Yes it was after that it happened. We will mention it at the next appointment. Checking with his school is a good idea I hadn't though of. He really loves his school and they are very much about individual students being helped however possible. I will email his head of year and see if he knows of anything at the school or anything local and how I can get in touch. Thank you for the advice!

[WiseGirl]

@Marly the quote is in https://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/jessa-duggar-spurgeon-diapers-163306

It gives me hope that she is raising her children differently than her parents did, 

Her responses also make me think about what more she could achieve had her parents not limited her opportunities. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

20 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

@StraightOuttaArkansas I'm another Arkansan! I grew up in Fayetteville. It seems like there are more Arkansans than average here, which makes sense given the Duggar connection.

I lived there for two years, 45 years ago. I don't remember any of it.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

6 hours ago, WiseGirl said:

@Marly the quote is in https://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/jessa-duggar-spurgeon-diapers-163306

It gives me hope that she is raising her children differently than her parents did, 

Her responses also make me think about what more she could achieve had her parents not limited her opportunities. 

Actually, it’s in their first book that JB&M didn’t potty train until a child could reach the milestones Jessa listed. 

[justoneoftwo]

3 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

Actually, it’s in their first book that JB&M didn’t potty train until a child could reach the milestones Jessa listed. 

If you don't wait for those milestones a potty trained kid is actually more work, not less.  I'm not at all surprised the Duggars waited. 

[Carm_88]

2 hours ago, justoneoftwo said:

If you don't wait for those milestones a potty trained kid is actually more work, not less.  I'm not at all surprised the Duggars waited. 

Jana seems like a smart girl, I am sure she figured that out early on. Maybe when she was 8.  

[Snowless]

17 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

be ready for cuteness overload. 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

He may have his daddy’s eyes, but his face definitely favors Jessa.  He looks like a boy version of Jessa.  I think Henry’s face favors Jessa, too.

[neurogirl]

The 70s hair! It's too much!

[tabitha2]

Deanna was a beautiful girl! Looks like Joy.  

[Melissa1977]

Big families use to potty-train that way, just waiting for the kid to control by himself. I'm sure Michelle forced the older kids to leave diapers the sooner the better... but after eleventy kids, it becomes impossible to invest so much time training and washing clothes.

While letting toddlers potty-train themselves sounds respectful, it's also done by extremely strict families who have  too much kids and who do not respect them at all. Kelly Bates claimed that she used to have 3 kids in diapers at the same time, which means that she had 3 year-old-kids in diapers. Erin has only 3 kids but is potty training the same way.

Unfortunately, Jessa's approach to potty training is not an evidence of attachment parenting. But considering all her posts, she's probably way more relaxed than Michelle and I hope it means she is using gentle discipline, also.

[SapphireSlytherin]

Grandma Mary looks so pretty in that photo!

 

[Carm_88]

Grandma Mary looks great! I think JB would still have that haircut, if he could get away with it! 

[TuringMachine]

Sorry, I'm not a toddler expert, but 2 1/2 doesn't sound that old to me to still be in diapers?

[justoneoftwo]

19 minutes ago, TuringMachine said:

Sorry, I'm not a toddler expert, but 2 1/2 doesn't sound that old to me to still be in diapers?

Its not, anytime before 3 is still early.  Many pre Ks require kids be out of diapers for the 3 year old room though.  

[Melissa1977]

1 hour ago, TuringMachine said:

Sorry, I'm not a toddler expert, but 2 1/2 doesn't sound that old to me to still be in diapers?

Many people think potty train starts at 2 years old.

Decades ago, when mothers had to wash diapers (even by hand) the typical potty training age was 18 months or younger. And training was hard sometimes.

[justoneoftwo]

1 minute ago, Melissa1977 said:

Many people think potty train starts at 2 years old.

Decades ago, when mothers had to wash diapers (even by hand) the typical potty training age was 18 months or younger. And training was hard sometimes.

Sure, with cloth diapers potty training makes things easier.  With disposables it really doesn't.  My mom was potty trained at about 1 year.  We didn't even consider until our LO was 2.