Seewalds 34: No News Yet

[SorenaJ]

I was wearing a leash when I was a kid, but only in the supermarket, because I would climb on the shelves. 

I am not a parent, so what do I know, but I don't quite understand leashes. Are they for the age between stroller and a kid being tall enough to hold their parent's hand comfortably? If I had a two-year old, I would just put the child in a stroller. If I had a runner, I would probably use one of those velcro handcuff like things. 

https://www.amazon.com/WeStylish-Harness-handcuffs-Backpack-toddlers/dp/B075JD4FS7

[SapphireSlytherin]

(used the wrist-leash thing on my daughter in Germany with zero judgment or comment - but that was about 25 years ago)

[rainbowbabycakes]

1 hour ago, dawbs said:

I understand not liking them, they're not my favorite.  My dad was always passive aggressive about them.  But, much to my amusement, he was caught kinda flat footed when my grandma (if I haven't mentioned, my grandma was one of my favorite people on the planet.  she was awesome) reminded him that she used to leash him to the clothesline when she worked sometimes.

 

My Grammy leashed my dad to the clothes line too, lol... They lived near a bayou and didn't have a fence

 

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, SorenaJ said:

I was wearing a leash when I was a kid, but only in the supermarket, because I would climb on the shelves. 

I am not a parent, so what do I know, but I don't quite understand leashes. Are they for the age between stroller and a kid being tall enough to hold their parent's hand comfortably? If I had a two-year old, I would just put the child in a stroller. If I had a runner, I would probably use one of those velcro handcuff like things. 

https://www.amazon.com/WeStylish-Harness-handcuffs-Backpack-toddlers/dp/B075JD4FS7

I’m guessing leashes can be very useful for parents with more than one child or for situations where using a stroller really isn’t possible - some strollers don’t work well on surfaces that aren’t paved, for example, and some are too bulky to maneuver easily in crowds. I figure as long as everyone is safe and relatively happy that’s all that really counts. 

(I only have one child right now and I’m lucky that I’m able to keep up with her, but I’d have zero issues using a leash with her if I absolutely had to. Her safety has to come first.)

@Meggo Lol! It’s possible. My mom comes from a family with a history of I know everything-itis. They’re very intelligent people and they honestly mean well, but I learned early on that I’m not the type of person who is receptive to the unsolicited advice they so eagerly share. 

[karen77]

Have we seen a full body shot of Jessa lately????

[crazysnark]

The last full body shot was last month in the birth episode. Didn't look pregnant to me and I don't think she is. She also comments how Henry still nurses quite often while spurgeon weened hiself early. I think that's why she isn't pregnant again. 

[justoneoftwo]

Okay, I'm not great with pregnancy math, but if she were pregnant now how far apart would Henry and #3 be?  Duggar Data is also expecting Jill to announce in September, but that would make Sam and #3 much closer than Iz and Sam right?  

I still don't think a Jessa announcement in 2018 is likely.

[Screamapillar]

2 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

I was wearing a leash when I was a kid, but only in the supermarket, because I would climb on the shelves. 

I am not a parent, so what do I know, but I don't quite understand leashes. Are they for the age between stroller and a kid being tall enough to hold their parent's hand comfortably? If I had a two-year old, I would just put the child in a stroller. If I had a runner, I would probably use one of those velcro handcuff like things. 

https://www.amazon.com/WeStylish-Harness-handcuffs-Backpack-toddlers/dp/B075JD4FS7

Well, since I'm the one who started this leash discussion in the first place (Apologies, everyone!) I can tell you why it works in my case. I do use a stroller a lot, but only when we go for long walks or hikes. In those situations my almost two year old is content to sit back and enjoy watching the scenery for a long-ish amount of time. But she wants to be able to walk and run and explore when we're in more interesting, but usually crowded, places like the zoo, fairs, festivals, markets, etc. She'll mostly hold my hand anyway, but she is just a toddler, so it's pretty easy for her to decide to slip loose and run after something interesting. I want her to be able to walk and explore and get a lot of exercise, but I don't want her to be the kid who falls into the Grizzly Bear exhibit. I want to be able to give her independence to walk and explore without stressing too much about her safety in the process. I'm not a fan of using a stroller in crowded places, either. I find them annoying to push around in a sea of people. When she was smaller I would wear her in a baby carrier in crowded places, but once she learned to walk she flat out refused to be put in one ever again.

Honestly, I never would have thought I'd be someone to use a "leash" on my child, but you really have to go with what works best with your child's individual personality. I've got a curious, extremely independent explorer who was born to run. She's probably pretty close to being able to do better walking in crowds, but right now she takes "Come here!" as a personal challenge to run even farther and faster.

This is the safety harness I use: https://www.amazon.com/Toddler-Walking-Safety-Harness-Backpack/dp/B0747BH1S7/ref=sr_1_19_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1531336838&sr=8-19&keywords=bee%2Bbackpack%2Bharness&th=1

[bekkah]

Leashes: I remember being leashes by my grandma. It annoyed me so much!!! My sister was not leashed, I was a shy kid and would never leave the people I knew. 

 

I think leashes are appropriate but I have already started to work with my nephew about holding my hand and he is 15 months old.  But my sister also makes him wear an I’d bracelet with his phone number already. Teaching kids to be safe is important and that includes a lot of talking  and modeling  

 

[Mayluka]

2 hours ago, justoneoftwo said:

Okay, I'm not great with pregnancy math, but if she were pregnant now how far apart would Henry and #3 be?  Duggar Data is also expecting Jill to announce in September, but that would make Sam and #3 much closer than Iz and Sam right?  

I still don't think a Jessa announcement in 2018 is likely.

Let’s assume for the sake of answering your Jessa question that she currently knows she’s pregnant but hasn’t announced yet, which could put her in a likely zone of being anywhere from ~4 to ~15 weeks pregnant. These give us due dates between January 2 and March 20. Henry was born February 6, 2017, meaning he would be about 23-25 months older (about 2 years) than #3. Even if Jessa is pregnant now, she’s already nearly doubling her spacing between kids compared to the 15 months between Spurgeon and Henry.

As for Jill, announcing in September would probably make #3 due in April. This would make Samuel and #3 about 21 months apart. Israel and Sam are 27 months apart, so this would definitely be a closer gap. I think Duggar Data’s reasoning for this is that the Dillard’s average spacing is skewed by how quickly they had Israel after their wedding. 

[justoneoftwo]

4 minutes ago, Mayluka said:

Let’s assume for the sake of answering your Jessa question that she currently knows she’s pregnant but hasn’t announced yet, which could put her in a likely zone of being anywhere from ~4 to ~15 weeks pregnant. These give us due dates between January 2 and March 20. Henry was born February 6, 2017, meaning he would be about 23-25 months older (about 2 years) than #3. Even if Jessa is pregnant now, she’s already nearly doubling her spacing between kids compared to the 15 months between Spurgeon and Henry.

As for Jill, announcing in September would probably make #3 due in April. This would make Samuel and #3 about 21 months apart. Israel and Sam are 27 months apart, so this would definitely be a closer gap. I think Duggar Data’s reasoning for this is that the Dillard’s average spacing is skewed by how quickly they had Israel after their wedding. 

Thanks, I think your right that the data isn't assuming they will follow the same pattern as with Sam, but I think they will.  Many people seemed to think they waited exactly the amount of time they had to for medical reasons, and I see no reason they wouldn't repeat that.

How many months apart are the Ms?  Is there a chart somewhere that includes all this?

[Glasgowghirl]

Child reins are pretty common here, I worked in a shopping centre for almost 10 years and now I work in Glasgow City Centre lots of parents use them and I would too if I had a child that liked to run going around Glasgow. The traffic in Glasgow is crazy at times and cars don't always stop when they are supposed to, I held my 11 year old nephew's hand at one of the worst crossings. 

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, justoneoftwo said:

Thanks, I think your right that the data isn't assuming they will follow the same pattern as with Sam, but I think they will.  Many people seemed to think they waited exactly the amount of time they had to for medical reasons, and I see no reason they wouldn't repeat that.

How many months apart are the Ms?  Is there a chart somewhere that includes all this?

Mack was born in October 2009, Michael was June 2011, Marcus was June 2013, Meredith July 2015, and Mason was September 2017. So here are the rough estimates:

Mack to Michael: 20 months

Michael to Marcus: almost exactly 24 months

Marcus to Meredith: 25 months

Meredith to Mason: 26 months

Anna’s spacing has consistently been getting slightly longer each pregnancy. I wouldn’t expect any announcements from her this year. 

[Kittikatz]

@BrandoBarks I'm not a parent but I can understand your concern over being judged. That said, everyone judges everyone else, and I've found its a lot easier just to do what you think is best for you and your family and hell with the rest of the world. Unless you are actively endangering your child or pet, or causing severe inconvenience to others, what you do is none of anyone else's business.

I have some rex cats. They love going outside, but I live in a city centre area, and have no yard. Solution: I put them on leashes and into their cat stroller and we walk to a pet friendly park. If it's cold, they wear hoodies or jackets and caps, if it's very sunny they get sunblock on their ears and wear t-shirts. When we get to the park they get down and walk/sniff around on their leashes and have snacks and water. The boys love their outings, and I know they are enjoying the outside safely and don't have to worry about them getting too cold or burnt for lack of fur. I have gotten so many comments. A lot positive, but some really vicious looks and a good number of (mostly) old people and men telling me that "cats need freedom" and I'm crazy/mean/stupid for dressing them up or taking them for walks or whatever. I used to try to defend myself by explaining that these are different from normal cats, that we live in a busy area, that I have no outside space and I found it didn't make any difference - people who wanted to inflict their opinions on me didn't care about my circumstances, they just want to control people and shame them into living in a way they regard as 'normal'. I'm now at a point where I ignore the glares and will flat out tell people who try to tell me off for my abnormal behaviour that if I was interested in their opinion, I'd ask for it. If they keep opining or threaten to call the SPCA or some other magic authority figure on me and the cats, I just tell them to fuck the hell off and proceed to ignore their sorry little asses. One busy body actually went to get a passing bike cop to tell them how evil I was to my poor abused cats. The cop came over and spent five minutes petting the guys and rubbing bellies. He said meeting the cats was the best part of his day. Afterwards I had a lot of people come up and tell me they thought what I was doing was sweet, and I saw the busy body get told off twice before he slunk away.

I guess my point is, you can choose to worry more about what you imagine others are thinking, or focus on doing what you know is the best for your family in your circumstances. 

[Cheetah]

7 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

I was wearing a leash when I was a kid, but only in the supermarket, because I would climb on the shelves. 

I am not a parent, so what do I know, but I don't quite understand leashes. Are they for the age between stroller and a kid being tall enough to hold their parent's hand comfortably? If I had a two-year old, I would just put the child in a stroller. If I had a runner, I would probably use one of those velcro handcuff like things. 

https://www.amazon.com/WeStylish-Harness-handcuffs-Backpack-toddlers/dp/B075JD4FS7

I used one on my youngest (3rd), I think mostly around 1 1/2 -2 years old.  It was mostly to give him more freedom, not less... the freedom to be out of the stroller and able to explore but still stay close enough to be safe.   He loved it (we had the bear backpack one).   I didn't need it with my older two, not sure how much of that was their personalities and how much it was also not having as many kids to handle at the same time.  But youngest was also the only one to climb furniture and got out of the crib about a year younger than the other 2 did... that 'year of the monkey' might have had some validity to it ;-).  

[HurricaneBells]

8 hours ago, dawbs said:

And I will say, one of the advantages I've had being an older mom is that I get to have a 'fuck it, we do what works for us, I give a shit less about your thoughts" about my kid.  

HAHAHA yes! Its the one thing i like about growing older, I care more what I think than other people think and I will raise my kid how I see fit not how society expects me too and will do so without apology or a second thought. 

[AmericanRose]

I never understood the judgment about child leashes! I remember being leashed as a kid (I'm an only child, but I enjoyed running to moving cars and hiding in clothing racks at stores :D)… but I don't remember having any opinion on it, and looking back now, it's just funny to me. I think it's far preferable to having a kid hit by a car, or giving a driver a heart attack as a kid darts toward their vehicle!

And today I learned people role-play on Instagram as Duggars and Bates? How bizarre!

[Gobbles]

I agree with a previous poster, I'm in Germany and I have never seen a child on a leash. I had one as a child, but only when we went alpine hiking in Austria. I was carried a lot in those baby rucksacks, but also walked and when I was walking I was on that leash. With a proper climbing harness type of thing. That was really for safety reasons only. Falling several 100 metres down in the mountains might be not that good for a child... 

Personally I would use a leash. Heck, I get huge anxiety letting my dog run around without a leash for a while. She does come back 100% but, still, it isn't nice. So my dogs will always be on a leash if they aren't in an area that's fully enclosed. I'm a way too scared person. (My dog has a 30m towing line.)

[SorenaJ]

Another leash question: If the toddler is wearing a backpack type harness, could they not just undo the buckle thing on their chest, leave the backpack and run off, or is the buckle hard for toddler fingers to undo? 

[Sky with diamonds]

19 hours ago, 2manyKidzzz said:

Keep your child safe no matter what. If someone snarks at you, just say “ I”m so sorry that is a problem for you”. Sweet, puts them off and means nothing, 

I love that. Given how much I babysit, I will keep that in mind. Thanks!

[Screamapillar]

4 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

Another leash question: If the toddler is wearing a backpack type harness, could they not just undo the buckle thing on their chest, leave the backpack and run off, or is the buckle hard for toddler fingers to undo? 

My toddler isn't able to manage to undo it yet. Like most chest fasteners on child safety devices, you have to push down a middle part and slide out a side part, which is a little advanced for an under 2. If she does manage to get out of it on her own, I will applaud her ingenuity and accept that her leashing days are over.  

[SapphireSlytherin]

32 minutes ago, Screamapillar said:

If she does manage to get out of it on her own, I will applaud her ingenuity and accept that her leashing days are over.

Wait until you have to put diapers on backwards...

[keen23]

2 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Wait until you have to put diapers on backwards...

never did that, but did put on footless sleepers backwards, so the snaps or zipper were on the back- less easy for the kid to get off.

She won in the long run though, so we had the rule of naked OK in the house and back yard, not OK any where else. Meaning she had to wear clothes to daycare or the store, but could strip down as soon as she walked through the door. She started wearing clothes in the house on a more regular basis when she went to kindergarten.

[Audrey2]

Ah, the days of the backwards diaper... I was watching my sweetie's grandson when he was two, and grandson was supposed to be settling down and napping. I heard a commotion from his room so when in to check. Not only had he pooed his pants he took his diaper off and spread the contents all over his Pack n Play. Naturally, I had to wash all of his bedding and from then on the diapers went on backwards! He is also the child he refused to be toilet trained before he was about 4, as it was a control thing for him not an I don't know when I need to go to the bathroom thing. I distinctly remember a time when my sweetie was caring for the grandson when he was 4 and the grandson had pood his pants. He said very clearly, "Grandpa I have pooped my pants and you need to change me now!"

[SapphireSlytherin]

12 minutes ago, keen23 said:

so we had the rule of naked OK in the house and back yard

We did about three weeks of naked - during which time she potty-trained herself, so win/win? lol 

 

(At 21 months - and I had nothing to do with it - her little playmate in our apartment building was being actively potty-trained, and she was watching/learning.. )