Anthony Bourdain dead by suicide

[TeaELSee]

I always worried about him. It is well known that he battled heroin addiction in the 80’s and received treatment for that, however he never stopped drinking alcohol. He was a very heavy drinker. Zero recovery programs would green light that for sober living.  I feel like he was always pushing the envelope and felt like he was different and could handle it. I’ve seen a few interviews that gave me that impression.

He was very talented and it is so sad that he died. 

4 hours ago, IntrinsicallyDisordered said:

He always struck me as a genuinely good man, passionate and truly caring for others.

I adore Sarah Kendzior, she is one of the best/essential people to follow on Twitter.  Her book, The View from Flyover Country is really eye opening too.

[VelociRapture]

12 minutes ago, candygirl200413 said:

My sister texted me Anthony Bourdain and I was really confused till I checked twitter. My dad has always had him on since I was young so it hits home literally. 

With Kate Spade and hearing how there's been an increase in suicide since 1999 (according to the CDC), we as a society have too do better. Please reach out to all your love ones, not only those that have depression but those that seem strong but might be struggling on the inside.

This is a good start for now, but Americans in particular need to do much more than that. People here in the states need to start taking mental illness seriously and realize that the “mental” portion does not negate or lessen the “illness” portion. People living with mental illness deserve the same access to quality care and coverage that insurance plans provide for any other serious illness. The fact that so many still struggle to get the care they need  - whether because of the stigma surrounding mental illness or due to cost - is absolutely appalling.

(And I swear I’m not angry at you! I’m just pissed off at the system and how difficult it can be for some people to get the care they need and deserve.)

[VelociRapture]

And this isn’t directed at anyone specifically, I just really need to say it.

My family just observed the 25th anniversary of my Aunt’s suicide last month. She shot herself in the head two weeks before my fifth birthday. Even though I was very young at the time I still have always struggled with wondering what I could have done differently to “save” her and I know most of my mother’s family have struggled with those same thoughts and that same guilt as well. I think the sentiment of “reach out to others!” is a nice one, but people need to be very careful in how they word it because it can very easily come across as shaming those of us who are left behind. Many (I’d argue most) suicides are the result of mental illness and not every person who commits suicide can be saved by someone reaching out to them. That’s not how mental illness works. 

So yes, please reach out to your loved ones. But also realize that you aren’t to blame if something tragic does ultimately happen. 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

I am in absolute shock.  He was so talented and fun and good.  His friends, family and co-workers (thinking of Anderson) must be heartbroken.  So tragic.

[candygirl200413]

@VelociRapture I definitely agree with you and took no offense at all! I was having a heart to heart with a friend a couple years ago and she was saying how come we don't have physicals for mental health with our health insurance? Our mental health is just as important as our physical health. It's something that's been coming in my mind as of late especially while taking my summer class on insurance. Also, sending all the positive thoughts and love during this anniversary for your aunt.

 

 

[SuperNova]

So sad to hear this today. My daughter is a chef and really loved him. She texted me first thing this morning and was quite upset. 

Anthony Bourdain quote:

"I wanted it all: the cuts and burns on hands and wrists, the ghoulish kitchen humor, the free food, the pilfered booze, the camaraderie that flourished within rigid order and nerve-shattering chaos," he wrote. "I love the sheer weirdness of the kitchen life: the dreamers, the crackpots, the refugees, and the sociopaths with whom I continue to work; the ever-present smells of roasting bones, searing fish, and simmering liquids; the noise and clatter, the hiss and spray, the flames, the smoke, and the steam."

[PennySycamore]

This morning Digg has a wonderful article by Wil Wheaton talking about his struggle with mental illness.  Will didn't get treatment until he was in his thirties.  He talked about how vital it is to de-shame mental illness and their it like any other illness.  And he's right:  I take meds to lower my BP and cholesterol and I feel no shame about.  Why should meds taken for your metal health be any different?  Both physical and mental illnesses can kill you!

[MamaJunebug]

The New Yorker has an obituary article that will warm your grieving hearts. Be sure to read through to the end. 

No one is immune. 

RIP Anthony, and Kate, and my dear friend and my uncle and my little brother, and those who are unknown to me.

[Carm_88]

I was quite shocked when my friend group messaged us this morning and said that Anthony Bourdain had died. I read his book Kitchen Confidential for Occupational Folklore class, he was a very talented writer. He was here, in Newfoundland, last summer and the episode was shown only a few weeks back. 

Mental Health is so hard. You want to be helpful and reach out, but honestly I'm not a professional; I can't truly help anyone who is suicidal. I can listen, I will always listen, but that's all I can do. In Canada, we have Let's Talk Day which is sponsored by Bell and raises awareness about mental health issues. It's a very good idea, but it's just one day. We need to do so much more and we need to stop being so judgmental. 

Life is hard and everyone has a story to tell and a battle they're fighting. I'm just going to be as kind as I can. 

[nst]

i am so upset by this. I can't process it. 

 

[applejack]

I am so saddened by this, I feel so very scattered and shattered by losing Bourdain. I feel like I've lost a friend. 

He was a singular individual, who made this world seem a little less lonely because of the way he moved through it and shared it with us. 

Thank you, Tony. 

[Briefly]

This is terribly sad.  This whole week has been sad.  I have seen some of his shows, I liked them.  Having dealt with depression myself, it's very hard to reach out sometimes.  I was never suicidal, but I think I might have been headed that way at one point.  I had very clear thoughts about wishing I had never been born and now, years later, I realize that I was probably a lot closer than I thought.  I knew I was in a bad spot.  Yet I never reached out.  I didn't know how and I don't think I felt like I could.  This was when I was in my late teens and before I met Mr. Briefly.  It was a very dark time and I eventually came out of it, but I wish now that I had gotten help then. I don't think I've ever actually talked about that with anybody else, besides Mr Briefly and to an extent our daughter. But I know that I'm able to talk about it here and that means a great deal to me.  We sometimes have disagreements here, but I do have a family feeling from this site.

[ADoyle90815]

This has been a sad week, with the deaths of Kate Spade and now Anthony Bourdain. This was almost a month after having learned that a friend of mine died of an extremely aggressive form of cancer, and on her birthday as well. She was diagnosed on a Thursday, and died on Saturday, her birthday when she was about to begin treatment for it.

[Rachel333]

9 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Many (I’d argue most) suicides are the result of mental illness and not every person who commits suicide can be saved by someone reaching out to them. That’s not how mental illness works. 

Yes... but... suicide is considered fairly preventable in general, and we have to be careful not to dismiss it as "mental illness, nothing could have been done." Most suicidal people do show warning signs, including actually making comments about it even if those comments are indirect, and so it's really important that others be aware of what those signs are so they can ask the person if they see something wrong. Talking about it can only help.

10 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

So yes, please reach out to your loved ones. But also realize that you aren’t to blame if something tragic does ultimately happen. 

100% agree, and it cannot be emphasized enough that others are not at fault for someone else's suicide.

I also want to add that while you should reach out to your loved ones, be aware of your own mental health. You shouldn't take the place of a professional; that isn't fair or healthy to you.

[adidas]

Thanks @IntrinsicallyDisordered And @TuringMachine

Also a big thanks to whoever ( ? @Curious ) for the message on the log in page.

Suicide rates are rising. It’s okay to not be okay - but if you are feeling overwhelmed please talk to someone. You are not alone, there are people who will listen and help no matter what time of day or night you reach out. 

If someone you know is suicidal there are some excellent resources on this page. 

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-prevention.htm

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

8 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

Mental Health is so hard. You want to be helpful and reach out, but honestly I'm not a professional; I can't truly help anyone who is suicidal. I can listen, I will always listen, but that's all I can do. In Canada, we have Let's Talk Day which is sponsored by Bell and raises awareness about mental health issues. It's a very good idea, but it's just one day. We need to do so much more and we need to stop being so judgmental. 

Life is hard and everyone has a story to tell and a battle they're fighting. I'm just going to be as kind as I can. 

 

3 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

I also want to add that while you should reach out to your loved ones, be aware of your own mental health. You shouldn't take the place of a professional; that isn't fair or healthy to you.

There's a program in the US called Mental Health First Aid. (I'm afraid I don't know if there are similar programs in Canada or other countries.) I haven't taken a class myself, just watched a story on the local news. If I understand correctly, the idea is to learn how to talk to people about mental illness and help direct them to professional help as needed. Just like an average person who has first aid training isn't going to try to replace a medical professional, a person trained in mental health first aid isn't going to try to replace a mental health professional. Just do what they can to direct a person to the help they need.

Obviously training like this isn't a cure all, but it is something many of us can do. I need to look into it more myself.

Love and care to us all. 

[JordynDarby5]

I'm just still really surprised, He just seemed really happy and relaxed. He went to so many different places, met so many different people and to really enjoy the places he traveled and trying so many different foods.  Hearts and prayers go out to his family and friends.   

[nastyhobbitses]

14 hours ago, candygirl200413 said:

@VelociRapture I definitely agree with you and took no offense at all! I was having a heart to heart with a friend a couple years ago and she was saying how come we don't have physicals for mental health with our health insurance? Our mental health is just as important as our physical health. It's something that's been coming in my mind as of late especially while taking my summer class on insurance. Also, sending all the positive thoughts and love during this anniversary for your aunt.

 

 

I had a doctor who would ask how I was doing emotionally or if there was stress or upheaval going on in my life, but that's far from standard, and likely brought on by the fact that he knew from my records that I was on antidepressants and in therapy at the time. I feel like making sure doctors do something as simple as that during a physical could be such a good "first line of defense" with mental health issues (and it's also a good idea because mental health affects physical health, and vice versa). 

TW for this next bit, just putting that out there: Also, with the whole "he seemed so happy": speaking from experience, a lot of people cope by slapping that smile the fuck on and acting like nothing's wrong, because asking for help would be weak. Or admitting that you have a problem and you're not as strong or successful as everyone thinks you are. But also you hope to fucking god that someone sees that you're cracking. But you want them to notice it so the onus isn't on you anymore. And sometimes, when you've made your decision to die, you're a lot happier than usual, because in your mind, you'll be free soon (or in my case at the time, everyone will be free from you). 

Please get help wherever you can if you're slogging through this shit. Please remember that there's no shame in needing help. Goddamn do I wish those messages had gotten through to me earlier in my life. 

[VelociRapture]

7 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

Yes... but... suicide is considered fairly preventable in general, and we have to be careful not to dismiss it as "mental illness, nothing could have been done." Most suicidal people do show warning signs, including actually making comments about it even if those comments are indirect, and so it's really important that others be aware of what those signs are so they can ask the person if they see something wrong. Talking about it can only help.

100% agree, and it cannot be emphasized enough that others are not at fault for someone else's suicide.

I also want to add that while you should reach out to your loved ones, be aware of your own mental health. You shouldn't take the place of a professional; that isn't fair or healthy to you.

I’m aware many people exhibit signs prior to an attempt or successful suicide. I had people reach out to me when I showed signs and honestly, it didn’t matter. When someone is that far gone it doesn’t always help to simply reach out, which was my point - just reaching out is oftentimes not enough and people need to realize that they also need to help the person get actual help from a trained professional. 

Reaching out is a nice gesture, but all too often those types of posts come across as shaming or blaming those who have lost loved ones to suicide - you know, the whole “One call could save a life!” stuff. It’s unhelpful in a lot of ways and can be pretty harmful to surviving family members, especially since so many people simply leave it at that and fail to add that you should also be helping them get actual, real help. I hope this helps clarify what I meant - I’m pretty sure we’re on the exact same page. 

[Shadoewolf]

Hubby is a chef, has battled addiction and continues to battle mental health issues. This rocked us both and I feel for his daughter, girlfriend and BFF Eric Ripert. 

Reports are conflicting though, some say "he was so happy", described him as "giddy", but Eric is quoted a few times as saying Tony was in dark place just before. *Armchair psych thought here* but wonder if it wasn't a manic episode gone awry. 

In the US mental health is hard because of the cost. Unless you have insurance you're screwed. I watch Hubby struggle constantly knowing he needs a drug that costs $687 for the generic and we can't afford the $400 doctor visit to get someone to prescribe it. We make like $100 too much for Medicaid but can't afford insurance premiums even through the Marketplace. Then most psychiatrists in my area have a 6-12 week waiting list for new patients and he won't do a voluntary check in to a facility because he can't miss work. Community resources are already strained. I make do by keeping him on Sam-E and CBD oil and it only takes the edge off. We keep throwing mental health out there but until everyone can get/afford care, it's not going to get better.

[Rachel333]

3 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

just reaching out is oftentimes not enough and people need to realize that they also need to help the person get actual help from a trained professional. 

I agree with that for sure.

I actually feel like I see the "just reach out" advice more often to the people who are suicidal themselves, along with the suicide hotline number, and that can also feel kind of simplistic if you're the one in that situation. Rarely is one thing going to make everything better.

(Though again, that still doesn't mean that nothing can be done. and suicide is inevitable. That's a common misconception suicidal people believe and it is rarely true either.)

[NakedKnees]

It's been over a day and this is still shaking me up. I spent a lot of time with "expats" (knowing why that terminology is infinitely problematic) and this is just absolutely shaking up the community. Anthony Bourdain was such and inspiration, and so loved. This is just such sad news.

I recommend the Lisbon episode of No Reservations. I've never been there, but there's just something about that episode that absolutely love.

[countressrascal]

I just watched him with President Obama, I miss having a President, in Vietnam he was so great. When I use to be on call I would watch him on You Tube for an escape, he was so good, gave all of us an insight into places and people that we could only wish we could go-Iran, Libya etc. he never was political nor rude just showed all of us how everyone in the world relates to the most common thing food. Boy am I going to miss him, we need a distraction right now. 

[MarblesMom]

I keep reading posts in my FB feed how so many people felt he was their friend.

AB definitely came across like this.... Huell Howser (So Cal fame) and Mr Rogers also come to mind.  All three were able to communicate with their audiences, nail it with the people they were on screen with, and were genuinely globally likeable.

 

[gameofunbeknowns]

I’m having a really difficult time getting over this. Anthony Bourdain and Christopher Hitchens were really like my North Stars. This is very difficult....