Bontragers/Bowers/Helferichs 13: In the Middle of Jesus’ First Relationship

[justpassingthru]

23 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

Stating out married life with a KItchenAid! Jill must be so envious.

Riding the ISB, I'm wondering if Carver is still nervous about whatever he did on 1/6 that caused him to purge his social media. It's not exactly a secret that the FBI is still making arrests of people who were involved in the insurrection and if the recent arrests were of people he knows, I can see him getting nervous if he saw someone on the resort grounds talking into a radio while looking at him. He could have decided they had to GTFO of Dodge.

I'm honestly hoping the fact that there is video evidence of him defacing a monument is enough to make him nervous. I mean, David Rodrigues got a fine for that.

[ifosterkittens]

20 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

Riding the ISB, I'm wondering if Carver is still nervous about whatever he did on 1/6 that caused him to purge his social media. It's not exactly a secret that the FBI is still making arrests of people who were involved in the insurrection and if the recent arrests were of people he knows, I can see him getting nervous if he saw someone on the resort grounds talking into a radio while looking at him. He could have decided they had to GTFO of Dodge.

It's possible he is concerned about something he did. I also think it's possible he doesn't want to "help" the government in any way by having his social media be a "tool" the government could use in any capacity. He and those he attended with may not want their name on a list of attendees or any formal connection to January 6 even if he did nothing illegal. I would love to know if after Jan 6 if he deleted any and all references to Jan 6, from texts about their general travel plans to actual pictures, and then got a new phone just to try to put any distance between him and his attendance. 

[Black Aliss]

On 5/22/2024 at 8:26 AM, Giraffe said:

I'm sure she was. If she weren't I doubt her sibling's pleas would've been enough to cancel her honeymoon. And yes, if they couldn't make it on their honeymoon they have no chance on lasting long on a mission field. 

The thing is, if Carver had wanted to stay wherever it is that they had their honeymoon, they would have stayed. He's the headship. He could even have explained that her younger siblings were just going to have to get used to the fact that she's married now.

[no fun funddie]

Am I the only one who found it strange that when the ‘Bowers Girls’ are mentioned by Hayley Lina isn’t in the photos. I think Hayley mentioned Lina in relation to how her and Carver first interaction with Cass. I can understand if Lina didn’t want to be photographed but it does seem a little like she’s ignoring her by praising the others. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

6 hours ago, no fun funddie said:

Am I the only one who found it strange that when the ‘Bowers Girls’ are mentioned by Hayley Lina isn’t in the photos. I think Hayley mentioned Lina in relation to how her and Carver first interaction with Cass. I can understand if Lina didn’t want to be photographed but it does seem a little like she’s ignoring her by praising the others. 

I agree. I also think it's weird she's deciding who the "Bower girls" are, but then I hate the gender politics around last names anyway.

[CaptainFunderpants]

On 5/26/2024 at 3:42 PM, no fun funddie said:

Am I the only one who found it strange that when the ‘Bowers Girls’ are mentioned by Hayley Lina isn’t in the photos. I think Hayley mentioned Lina in relation to how her and Carver first interaction with Cass. I can understand if Lina didn’t want to be photographed but it does seem a little like she’s ignoring her by praising the others. 

Typical 18-year-old shit.

Lina has never come across as a people-pleaser, so this doesn't particularly surprise me. In the Carson/Lina guest post on the Bontrager blog about their courtship, her thoughts were very "yeah, he was a terrible conversationalist and I had better things to do with my time." Her smiles in pictures also rarely reach her eyes.

The impression I get of Lina is that life is a long list of tasks to get through, the tasks must be done, and it is what it is. I'm sure she and Carson have grown together and their marriage is probably on the stronger side because they went in without the rose colored glasses and butterflies. She seems to be the type of person you go to when you need a reality check, of which seems antithetical to Hayley's existence.

[justpassingthru]

Carver verified they got together in June. So these two haven't even been in a relationship for a full year but it's so awesome.

Sure, Jan. K.

[HereticHick]

They also "answer" a question about what they do for work. Carver appears to flip vehicles & his parents have given him money to invest. Hailey had nothing to say for herself about current or past work--not even Plexus or another MLM. Although I guess she has helped out on the family "plantation" although she has shown little or no evidence of that.

Hailey also says, while extolling the virtues of young marriage, that no one goes into marriage "completely ready" or "financially stable." Newflash Hailey--some of us were financially stable on our wedding day.

[dawn9476]

They got together because she basically slid into his DM's via mutual friends on IG. Started talking in April and I guess officially met in person in June.

Edited May 28 by dawn9476

[dawn9476]

1 hour ago, dawn9476 said:

They got together because she basically slid into his DM's via mutual friends on IG. Started talking in April and I guess officially met in person in June.

They also kissed before marriage. Hayley posted that their 1st kiss was in August of last year.

Edited May 28 by dawn9476

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 minutes ago, dawn9476 said:

They also kissed before marriage. Hayley posted that their 1st kiss was in August of last year.

Isn’t it funny how guys raised fundie have sisters who would probably be shamed if they kissed before marriage, but they kiss before marriage and it seems like no big deal. The Bates boys mostly all kiss before marriage. But a lot of their sisters don’t. It’s a double standard in so many fundie families. 

[postscript]

1 hour ago, justpassingthru said:

Carver verified they got together in June. So these two haven't even been in a relationship for a full year but it's so awesome.

Sure, Jan. K.

I feel like the eyeroll reaction gets quite a workout with her posts. She comes across as so privileged and immature. Come back to us in a few years when you’re chasing around a couple of toddlers while struggling with morning sickness with another, Carver’s singing career has stalled, and your parents have decided to stop funding your lifestyle, 

[HereticHick]

46 minutes ago, postscript said:

I feel like the eyeroll reaction gets quite a workout with her posts. She comes across as so privileged and immature. Come back to us in a few years when you’re chasing around a couple of toddlers while struggling with morning sickness with another, Carver’s singing career has stalled, and your parents have decided to stop funding your lifestyle, 

This. Check in with us in a few years when twice weekly manicures aren't in the budget, Hailey.  Also, did you notice a reel of hers a few days ago where she was looking for a photographer for a "couples shoot."  I presume its for her and Carver, but it seems extravagant since in the last 6 months they've gotten engagement AND wedding photos. And surely its too early for a pregnancy announcement.

Edited May 28 by HereticHick

[JermajestyDuggar]

21 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

This. Check in with us in a few years when twice weekly manicures aren't in the budget, Hailey.  Also, did you notice a reel of hers a few days ago where she was looking for a photographer for a "couples shoot."  I presume its for her and Carver, but it seems extravagant since in the last 6 months they've gotten engagement AND wedding photos. And surely its too early for a pregnancy announcement.

She might be planning on going the influencer route. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

4 hours ago, dawn9476 said:

They got together because she basically slid into his DM's via mutual friends on IG. Started talking in April and I guess officially met in person in June.

Such a contrast between their courtship and his parents basically arranging marriage for older sisters. 

[justpassingthru]

4 hours ago, postscript said:

I feel like the eyeroll reaction gets quite a workout with her posts. She comes across as so privileged and immature. Come back to us in a few years when you’re chasing around a couple of toddlers while struggling with morning sickness with another, Carver’s singing career has stalled, and your parents have decided to stop funding your lifestyle, 

Carver will be Lawson Bates 2.0

I also saw the photographer request. It's literally been a month since your last professional photos. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

33 minutes ago, justpassingthru said:

Carver will be Lawson Bates 2.0

I also saw the photographer request. It's literally been a month since your last professional photos. 

They were both at the rally Jan 6th. They both are trying to launch a singing career. They both have a little bit of notoriety due to their family of origin (Carver because of his dad’s conspiracy theory alt right documentaries). They both chose young wives. And they both chose wives who aren’t from poor families. 

[HereticHick]

13 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

They were both at the rally Jan 6th. They both are trying to launch a singing career. They both have a little bit of notoriety due to their family of origin (Carver because of his dad’s conspiracy theory alt right documentaries). They both chose young wives. And they both chose wives who aren’t from poor families. 

Swear to Rufus, Hailey seems as vapid as Tiffany, too.  She also says they want to "wait a year or two" before having kids.  Do you have any family planning knowledge to make that reality, Hailey?

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Swear to Rufus, Hailey seems as vapid as Tiffany, too.  She also says they want to "wait a year or two" before having kids.  Do you have any family planning knowledge to make that reality, Hailey?

If her mom doesn’t want to be a young grandma, I bet she had a long talk with Haley. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Why is this specific to men? Isn’t it just good to serve others you care about no matter their sex? Why doesn’t she talk about arcing her mom or sister Rebs? Why is it always about serving men? Oh yeah. Because patriarchy. If I were a Christian, I would focus on the teachings about serving others (not just men). 

[Giraffe]

Yes, because Rufus knows as soon as you get married you're incapable of serving anyone anymore who's not your husband. Also can we talk about "serving"? Why can't it just be "helping others"? Why does it have to be wrapped up in christianese? I'm so glad I'm out of religion. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

1 hour ago, Giraffe said:

Yes, because Rufus knows as soon as you get married you're incapable of serving anyone anymore who's not your husband. Also can we talk about "serving"? Why can't it just be "helping others"? Why does it have to be wrapped up in christianese? I'm so glad I'm out of religion. 

Serving does sound like Christianese, but I'm not sure why. 

At least it's not "nuturing their manhood". 

[JermajestyDuggar]

7 hours ago, Giraffe said:

Yes, because Rufus knows as soon as you get married you're incapable of serving anyone anymore who's not your husband. Also can we talk about "serving"? Why can't it just be "helping others"? Why does it have to be wrapped up in christianese? I'm so glad I'm out of religion. 

It’s a servants heart not a helping heart! 
 

You know these fundies. They have their own language. Sweet fellowship, season of change, meek, etc.

[justpassingthru]

🙄🙄🙄 it's not even that good of a cookie

Edited May 30 by justpassingthru

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, justpassingthru said:

🙄🙄🙄 it's not even that good of a cookie

Which cookie place is this?