Boyer Sisters Part 7: One Still Creative

[hoipolloi]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

God it seems like these girls are rushing into marriage. 

Probably, but what else are they going to do? Not that they *couldn't* do other things with their lives -- college, a career, or something like Brigid's sewing -- but they don't don't seem to want anything else.

2 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

The hug seemed natural, though. I hope this is truly what she wants, and I wish her all the best.

Indeed. 

That video was weird. When you compare with it a still photo of what is purported to be the same event, it's not clear which one was staged:

Edited June 11, 2019 by hoipolloi

[usedbicycle]

I think she was genuinely surprised. Perhaps a little disappointed that the proposal itself was rather underwhelming for a hopeless romantic like her.

He seems like a nice guy but I just hope she knows that no man can give her everything. She says he's "God’s answer to all my unspoken dreams, all my quiet hopes, all my secret desires" and that's a little scary to me. I have other hopes, dreams and desires beyond my husband (whom I adore btw).

[NachosFlandersStyle]

11 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

Then I watched that video about 4 times, and I dunno. There's something kind of weird about her reaction. She seemed like a kid who opened a gift she didn't want from an older relative, but who knows that she has to act as if she really loves it in front of the rest of the family. 

Possibly she was just trying to "act out" her reaction for the camera knowing that this would be posted online? 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, usedbicycle said:

I think she was genuinely surprised. Perhaps a little disappointed that the proposal itself was rather underwhelming for a hopeless romantic like her.

He seems like a nice guy but I just hope she knows that no man can give her everything. She says he's "God’s answer to all my unspoken dreams, all my quiet hopes, all my secret desires" and that's a little scary to me. I have other hopes, dreams and desires beyond my husband (whom I adore btw).

This is exactly what I was thinking. Fundie proposals can be so over the top it’s unreal. I’m guessing she was hoping for one of those. A proposal where she was all dolled up and looking beautiful with some romantic grand gesture all captured perfectly on camera. I’m guessing this is probably just the beginning of her expectations being much grander than reality. That’s one of many problems with these fundie princesses. They spend so much time dreaming about their perfect proposal, wedding, pregnancy, labor/birth, and marriage that reality can rarely meet those expectations. It’s sad that these parents do this to their daughters. 

[hoipolloi]

11 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

That’s one of many problems with these fundie princesses. They spend so much time dreaming about their perfect proposal, wedding, pregnancy, labor/birth, and marriage that reality can rarely meet those expectations. It’s sad that these parents do this to their daughters. 

You make a lot of good points that, sadly, support my previous comment -- what else can these young women do except get married & have kids? Their parents have programmed them for this shite. In their world, there are no good alternatives.

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 minutes ago, hoipolloi said:

You make a lot of good points that, sadly, support my previous comment -- what else can these young women do except get married & have kids? Their parents have programmed them for this shite. In their world, there are no good alternatives.

I had hoped she had learned from her past broken relationship but I don’t think she has. If anything, it may have made her even stronger in her zest to get married. 

[nausicaa]

So I completely agree that she likely has unreal expectations of her engagement/wedding/marriage. 

However, the fact that he did propose in such a casual, less over the top way also suggests that maybe he doesn't really know her or "get" her all that well? I do think it's fine if she is the type to prefer to be proposed to in formal clothing and in a more traditionally romantic way (similar to the large wedding/small wedding differences). But he not only doesn't appear to be that type, he also doesn't appear to understand that she is that type. 

I also wonder if she is the sort who becomes whatever a boyfriend wants early on and so didn't verbalize any of her less "cool girl" preferences for fear of scaring him off. (I used to be bad about this but no longer can give a shit in my thirties.) I expect some more tension as he fails to understand her preferences and she continues to hold unrealistically high standards.

I could also be completely misreading this.

[Palimpsest]

So Jessica is engaged.  Phew! 

It's not clear when they met, but I hope they know each other well enough and that this one is a keeper.  I hope she'll be happy.  He's rather dishy, studied at an accredited university, and has a presumably decent job at an Air Force base.   He may be able to keep her in the style to which she would like to be accustomed.  I hope she gets to live a more mainstream life.

I thought she seemed genuinely surprised and very happy in the video. We don't know what her expectations for a proposal might have been.  I find this one romantic in all but having the parents present to video the whole thing.  But I'm an old fashioned curmudgeon, I know.

She said "yes" immediately but did seem a bit hesitant about reaching for the ring.  Mind you, if I had been presented with that honker I would have been stunned too.  I would have been wondering whether I could ask for a colored solitaire stone instead.  I don't like big halo rings or diamonds much.   

FWIW, Jessica, don't worry about the low key proposal.  If you are even worried.

I never had a "proper" proposal. We decided to get married by snail mail.  I even got married without being given an engagement ring.  We couldn't afford one and I didn't care.  I just wore a ring I had inherited as an engagement ring instead.  Affordable wedding and ... fortieth wedding anniversary coming up in August. Mr. P was obviously a keeper even if he couldn't afford a diamond ring and didn't plan a flashy proposal.  

[hoipolloi]

9 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

I never had a "proper" proposal. We decided to get married by snail mail.  I even got married without being given an engagement ring.  We couldn't afford one and I didn't care.  I just wore a ring I had inherited as an engagement ring instead.  Affordable wedding and ... fortieth wedding anniversary coming up in August. Mr. P was obviously a keeper even if he couldn't afford a diamond ring and didn't plan a flashy proposal.  

Proposed to over the phone, myself. No engagement ring, either, though we did have a matching ring made a few years later. We are also celebrating our 40th anniversary this summer. 

1979 was clearly a good year for marriage, apart from the eye-popping wedding fashions of the day. Mr. Hoi may never live down his sky blue suit, even if we should make it to 50 years & beyond! At least I escaped the post-Diana meringue wedding dresses as well as the strapless phase, which would not have looked good on a young me.

[dramallama]

We didn't have a proposal or a "real" wedding.  He had a brain tumor needing surgery and hadn't been at his job long enough to qualify for FMLA so we weren't sure if he was going to get fired because of it and lose his health insurance, so we made the decision to get married so he could be on my insurance while we were sitting in the neurosurgeon's exam room.  We had a friend who was ordained and she signed our marriage license for us while we sat in her living room petting her chubby beagle and discussing video games.  But he came through the surgery fine and didn't lose his job/insurance and here we are 12 years later, still married, and none of the other stuff matters.

[Palimpsest]

@hoipolloi, congratulations!

Poor Mr. Hoi.  Mr. P's suit was -- beigish.  He bought it in Filene's Basement and it wasn't new.  He has the vest carefully packed away in the attic because he is the sentimental one. 

I still think my dress was pretty.  Square neckline exposing the collar bone, short sleeves (but not 80s puff), flounced skirt, cotton and very in vogue Laura Ashley.  My bridesmaids chose to wear those long sleeved turtle-necked prairie muffin dresses.  It wasn't my fault.

Different times.  I feel sorry for people getting married today.  Planning weddings and proposals has turned into such a production.

[hoipolloi]

3 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

I still think my dress was pretty.  Square neckline exposing the collar bone, short sleeves (but not 80s puff), flounced skirt, cotton and very in vogue Laura Ashley.  My bridesmaids chose to wear those long sleeved turtle-necked prairie muffin dresses.  It wasn't my fault.

Different times.  I feel sorry for people getting married today.  Planning weddings and proposals has turned into such a production.

And congratulations to you, @Palimpsest & Mr. P!

My dress was an actual wedding dress but pretty plain, with an empire waist, very short train & with short sleeves. The sleeves were probably most like what's called "cape sleeve" in this diagram:

[Palimpsest]

@hoipolloi, Your dress sounds lovely.  If I'm looking at the right sleeve, I think they are sort of back in fashion.  They are called flutter sleeves these days, at least they are in one of the catalogs Lady Lydia thinks suitable to recommend.

Just musing.  I think the very decorous neckline of my wedding dress might have been cut a little low for Lady Lydia.

[AliceInFundyland]

Nothing is appropriate for Lady Lydia. She exists in another world.

[FleeJanaFree]

Wow! This guy seems pretty normal! I never would have guessed he'd go for Jessica based on the few details we know about him. Seems out of her league . WTG, Jessica! He's not hard on the eyes either. 

Ive enjoyed not hearing about the Boyer  sisters for quite a while, and hoped they were taking steps to improve their lives and outlooks, however small. Sounds like the girls are working, and I'm guessing from those shorts , aren't so judgy about immodest clothes anymore. So props for that.

[hoipolloi]

31 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

They are called flutter sleeves these days, at least they are in one of the catalogs Lady Lydia thinks suitable to recommend.

OMFG -- That I should be married for nearly 40 years AND live to meet one of Lady Lydia's recs.

ETA: I certainly loved me some Laura Ashley back in the day and had a number of their day dresses. They fit & flattered me. I miss that company.

 

Edited June 11, 2019 by hoipolloi

[thisjuststinks]

Well, Jessica appears to have left her market job. And, according to the date on their registry, Charlotte and her fiancé got married last Saturday. We’ll see if any photos pop up on the internet! I’m interested to see if she goes as vintage with her styling as Brigid did. I’m inclined to think she didn’t. 

[dramallama]

13 hours ago, thisjuststinks said:

Well, Jessica appears to have left her market job. 

The store she was working at closed.

[usedbicycle]

I find it strange that Jessica's fiancé Chris moved to Ohio on May 19th, shortly before their engagement, announcing he had a job at the Wright Paterson air force base. 

Then on June 29th he started a different job in real estate in Baltimore. That's an 8 hour drive from Jessica in Ohio... 

I hope the move was just for professional reasons and that Jessica hasn't been dumped a second time... 

[catlady]

8 minutes ago, usedbicycle said:

I hope the move was just for professional reasons and that Jessica hasn't been dumped a second time... 

Agreed.  That and her store closing would be so hard to take.  Part of my brain hopes they eloped and she went with him.

[Carm_88]

Surely Jessica couldn't have another broken engagement? I mean I know she totally could, but god that would be depressing. 

[justmy2cents]

Someone congratulated her about a week ago on her engagement post and she thanked the woman. Doubt she would have replied of things were over between them. And they're still friends on FB. Maybe he didn't like being in Ohio or a better opportunity presented itself and she plans to move there after the wedding? 

[Mommit]

I'm a little disappointed that I can't find any wedding pictures posted anywhere. 

[nokidsmom]

Hopefully the move was for professional reasons, perhaps in getting engaged, he decided to go for a better opportunity.

[Kylolo]

2 hours ago, nokidsmom said:

Hopefully the move was for professional reasons, perhaps in getting engaged, he decided to go for a better opportunity.

I"m not sure he moved, nor am I sure this is a real "job."

The website for the company https://www.nationwidewholesaleinvestmentproperties.com/our-company/ is scant on details, and investors can be anywhere.  I have a feeling all investors get the "chief investment officer" title but very quick research doesn't support or deny my suspicions.  I also can't find where it's registered as a business and I don't have any names to search either.

(NOTE:  there are lots of Bluewater and Blue Water Properties and this one was hard to find to begin with.)

Edited July 29, 2019 by Kylolo
clarity