Lori Alexander 45: Sensoring and Sensibility

[molecule]

And here I was thinking how nice it was to see a post from Lori that doesn't include a vicious attack on anyone. The shock from that distracted me from recognizing the narcissistic Jillness of the post.

[Botkinetti]

Lori, being utterly consumed by her own health and holiness simply cannot grasp that other people are paying attention to her mother.  She probably got asked one too many times about her mother and in irritation posted about her own so the attention could be ( rightfully in her mind ) re-focussed on her.

[Koala]

That's what gets me.  If you've ever lost a parent, you know- the last thing you care about is having the attention focused on your own health.  Especially when the "update" you are giving is totally benign.

But this also goes back to Lori having a history of "upstaging" anyone else who's the center of attention.

In 2012, she wrote:

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Yes, I have a very bad neck.

5 sentences later, she reiterates (in case you missed it the first time):

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I have a very bad neck. 

She continues:

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I just missed Steven graduating from dental school.  I just missed my best friend's son's wedding.  I have missed many Christmas celebrations, weddings, birthdays, etc. in my life.  I lay at home with an ice pack on my neck while everyone else is having fun.

However, don't feel sorry for me {but I do appreciate prayers!}. 

No, don't feel sorry for her...I mean, she is sooooo sick and everyone else is having tons of fun, but still...don't feel sorry for her!  And don't put your prayer request up in her chat room.  But you can pray for her, if you want!

Also, 2012:

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At 2:30 a.m. on a Wednesday morning a week a and half ago, I felt like an explosion took place on the right side of my face wrapping around my eye, jaw, and the back of my head.  Thus began nine days of throbbing, excruciating pain.  A major nerve that wraps around my head became inflamed.  I even lost the use of my right eye.  

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 I was suppose to have a graduation party for my precious daughter Cassi who just finished a semester carrying 30 units, yes, 30 units and graduated from college.  Cancelled.

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My mom and dad had a big celebration luncheon for their 60 year wedding anniversary at the same location that Alyssa and Jon were married.  Fresh salmon was on the menu and the whole family and some of my parent's closest friends were going...I couldn't go.

From 2015 (yet another health update):

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I have missed MANY things in my life: weddings, vacations, eating out, get together, parties, etc.

And then, there's her ultimate upstage.  Her daughter's wedding. 

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Three weeks before the wedding, I got very sick.  It started with my head pain being almost unbearable.  Then my sensitive gut acted up so I sat around home all day with an ice pack on my head and a heating pad on my gut.  It was getting closer and closer to the wedding and I was not feeling any better.

A week before the wedding, I finally put out an SOS to all my family and friends that I needed prayer so I would feel good enough to go to the wedding.  As the wedding neared, I was barely having any relief.  We were told that the tumor can swell after radiation and this could be causing the pain or my hormones were going wacky from potential damage to my pituitary.  Regardless of the reason, I was thinking I would not be able to go to the wedding.

That's right, she nearly missed her daughter's wedding.  Her gut, this time.  Naturally, the only solution was to let everyone involved in/attending Cassi's wedding know to THINK OF LORI!

She pulled the same thing during the rehearsal dinner:

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The rehearsal dinner was at my home.  Everyone knew that I was unavailable to do much to help.  When my home was filled with the bridal party, my head was throbbing.  I got a pack of ice and went up into my bedroom to ice my head. About 15 minutes later, I came down and was able to enjoy the evening!

It just seems that their entire lives have revolved around...Lori.  

[AuntKrazy]

57 minutes ago, Koala said:

It just seems very strange to me.  According to her own update, Lori is just fine.  Why do a seemingly pointless update on herself, while her mom is in what appears to be the final stages of a terminal illness?

I noticed this pattern right at the start, but I didn't say anything.  That said, when she posted the salad picture, I thought to myself, just watch...she'll update on her own health in no time at all.  And she did.  Because she's Lori, and she doesn't like sharing the attention.  With anyone.

I agree with this. My MIL is in the end stages of Alzheimer's and we had to make the difficult decision of hospice or continue at the home she has lived in for the past two years. (Medicare does not cover both - it's either/or - don't get me started on how awful I think this is for end stage Alzheimer's patients). As my MIL does not seem to be in pain, we have chosen to not disrupt her by moving her to a place where everyone and the daily routine is unfamiliar. I've been largely absent online while we wrestle with this. I'm at home today while we wait for a phone call, and came here because I needed a distraction.

Everyone grieves differently, and I am trying to find compassion for Lori's loss as we go through a loss of our own; but Lori's rampant narcissism makes it nearly impossible.

And I don't understand it at all. Because we are not fine. We are wrecked with grief, despite knowing it was inevitable. We are praying for one last Mother's Day, and time for everyone to say final goodbyes. And for mercy for my MIL. She has kept her beautiful smile through all of this; and I hope she has that to the very end.

But I want to yell and scream at Lori to get her ass to where her mother is and hold her hand, and turn off the f***ing computer/phone and connect with the real person who loves you because she will too soon be gone. 

[Alisamer]

What are the odds that Lori's neck/back/gut/tumor acts up just a day or two before the funeral? I'd be willing to put a little cash down that about the time the "Oh poor Lori" sympathy for her mother's passing posts die down she suddenly has some major pain episode making it questionable that she'll be able to attend the funeral (but that will not, however, prevent her from going online to post about it).

On the one hand, yes, stress can make pain worse and all that. But on the other hand... actually canceling your child's graduation party because you are in pain? She has family, housekeepers, an able bodied husband... there's no reason the party couldn't have gone on with her sitting it out. But I'm sure she couldn't stand the idea of others having fun and focusing on someone else, when they could be worried about Lori.

One of my closest friends has a chronic illness, and it causes pain and exhaustion. She has to carefully plan for things, because a fun day out with friends means the next day or two are spent laid out on the couch. And yes, she mentions it sometimes, and complains occasionally as she has a right to. Yet she still manages not to make things ALL ABOUT HER. If she can't go to something, she can't. She'll go to the next thing. If its a major event, she goes and just rests up as much as she can before and afterward. She works more-or-less full time at the moment as well. She takes medicines to manage things, and works with her doctor frequently to make adjustments as needed.

Not Lori, however. She can't just say "Sorry, I'm not feeling well today" instead she has to post "Oh no! Everyone anticipating my daughter's wedding! Please pay attention to MEEEEEE! I might not be able to go to my own daughter's wedding!" No mention of how the daughter feels about it, or what steps she's taking to try to manage things, or anything else. Just "look at me I'm sick!"

I'd love to know what the rest of her family and her children think of her, for real. Not what they show her, or post in public, but the real truth. She sounds like the sort of family member you visit for an hour or two and then as soon as the complaining gets unbearable you go "Whoops! Look at the time. Sorry, got to go, really can't stay..."

[delphinium65]

5 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

On the one hand, yes, stress can make pain worse and all that...

I kind of want to do the charitable thing and go with that, but then I remember this is Lori, who shows no kindness to anyone, and assumes the worst of everyone else.  

[Curious]

2 hours ago, jerkit said:

Lori's brain tumor is apparently getting smaller, which is shocking.

I thought she had it removed with the cyber knife thing a few years ago?

[Sarah92]

I do wonder how often she goes to the doctor for these things. How much is treatable if she would stop using all this woo stuff. A sensitive gut? Parasites? Neck pain? Go to a doctor! Although it's strange that these flare ups happen around important events, I don't see much mention of them in her day to day life. Of course she just might not mention it so it might not mean anything. I graduate tomorrow and I know my dad is gonna be there despite probably being in pain. He takes a pain pill and does the best he can. He knows it's important to me so he'll be there. 

[cara]

Well maybe if she took a freaking painkiller or antibiotic she would feel better instead of messing around with ice packs and letting every ill and ailment linger forever. 

It's interesting to see how extreme she's gotten since those old blog posts. She would never celebrate a daughter graduating from college now. 

[feministxtian]

@AuntKrazy my heart hurts for you. Sending you hugs and love. 

Lori: Oh, if I only could say to her...look bitch, I've had a headache for a year now. A YEAR. It never goes away, it goes from ignorable to my fucking head is going to explode. Taking a shower is painful because my back muscles start spasming. I can't even drive my damn car without pain...so SHUT THE FUCK UP! I worked, I do as much as I can and I don't have the advantage of money, good health insurance and the ability to hire household help...so...SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU MISERABLE, SELFISH, SELF-CENTERED LITTLE TWAT. 

[jerkit]

22 minutes ago, Curious said:

I thought she had it removed with the cyber knife thing a few years ago?

She claims cyber knife doesn't remove the tumor and it's "not known" for making tumors smaller. HTH!

[Curious]

9 minutes ago, jerkit said:

She claims cyber knife doesn't remove the tumor and it's "not known" for making tumors smaller. HTH!

Thanks.  Because I don't trust Lori's information I looked up cyberknife.  I found this bit interesting:
 

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CyberKnife® is a non-invasive option for patients who have inoperable or surgically complex tumors, or who may be looking for an alternative to surgery. The CyberKnife system enables our radiation oncologists to deliver targeted, high doses of radiation to a broad range of tumors throughout the body.

Potential benefits of the CyberKnife system include:

No incision

No pain

No anesthesia or hospitalization

Greater comfort (patient can breathe normally during treatment)

Little or no recovery time

Immediate return to normal activities

 

Doesn't sound like it's a big deal (the treatment itself).  That was not the impression I got from her posts.  I'd be happy to have something non-invasive available vs the recovery time of actual surgery, but for someone like Lori she would probably rather have the downtime from her skull being cracked open because she could milk that better.

I didn't find info on cyberknife shrinking tumors, but I didn't look too hard.

[EowynW]

I found Ken in the comments on this post. 

 

http://juniaproject.com/friend-believes-biblical-gender-roles/

[jerkit]

4 minutes ago, EowynW said:

I found Ken in the comments on this post. 

 

http://juniaproject.com/friend-believes-biblical-gender-roles/

I almost want to say it's not him (but it probably is). He seems far more reasonable, level-headed, and well...not a giant douche here. 

[delphinium65]

3 minutes ago, Curious said:

Thanks.  Because I don't trust Lori's information I looked up cyberknife.  I found this bit interesting:
 

Doesn't sound like it's a big deal (the treatment itself).  That was not the impression I got from her posts.  I'd be happy to have something non-invasive available vs the recovery time of actual surgery, but for someone like Lori she would probably rather have the downtime from her skull being cracked open because she could milk that better.

I didn't find info on cyberknife shrinking tumors, but I didn't look too hard.

Thank you, I was going to do a bit of research, but hadn't had a chance yet.  I hear doctors mention it frequently, but wanted to check and find out for sure.  As for shrinking tumors, http://www.cyberknife.com/resources/faq

So the treatment was doing exactly what it is supposed to do, and Lori thinks it's some kind of miracle...which it kind of is, a miracle of modern medicine, but not the kind she thinks it is.  

[jerkit]

Lori talks about it like it's some kind of miracle, but it's radiation therapy. Targeted, but still radiation therapy.

[feministxtian]

6 minutes ago, jerkit said:

I almost want to say it's not him (but it probably is). He seems far more reasonable, level-headed, and well...not a giant douche here. 

He's still a douche in that comment...showing his incredible ignorance of not only scripture but the historical and cultural context. 

[jerkit]

1 minute ago, feministxtian said:

He's still a douche in that comment...showing his incredible ignorance of not only scripture but the historical and cultural context. 

I suppose when I say "not a douche" I mean no made up statistics and no offer to buy strange women dinner. I have very low standards for Ken HA.

[Curious]

16 minutes ago, EowynW said:

I found Ken in the comments on this post. 

 

http://juniaproject.com/friend-believes-biblical-gender-roles/

I have some doubt about that being our Ken.  No word salad.  No paragraph after paragraph of mansplaining.  Some of the stuff he says in other posts don't sound like him/Lori.

[EowynW]

14 minutes ago, Curious said:

I have some doubt about that being our Ken.  No word salad.  No paragraph after paragraph of mansplaining.  Some of the stuff he says in other posts don't sound like him/Lori.

I think it is. He came on there right around the time Lori attacked Gail Wallace. 

[Curious]

2 minutes ago, EowynW said:

I think it is. He came on there right around the time Lori attacked Gail Wallace. 

oh I didn't realize there was that bit of history.  Probably is him then.  Shows he can post without 2000 paragraphs of manspalining.  Jerk!

[jerkit]

5 minutes ago, EowynW said:

I think it is. He came on there right around the time Lori attacked Gail Wallace. 

I was about to say "Why is he even reading Junia Project?" but then I had a moment of self-awareness.

[polecat]

1 hour ago, cara said:

Well maybe if she took a freaking painkiller or antibiotic she would feel better instead of messing around with ice packs and letting every ill and ailment linger forever. 

Didn't she use some kind of ice water bath for broken bones or something? I think she should try this for her constantly aching head. Just dunk it right in there and keep it there until the pain stops.

1 hour ago, Koala said:

I just missed Steven graduating from dental school.  I just missed my best friend's son's wedding.  I have missed many Christmas celebrations, weddings, birthdays, etc. in my life.  I lay at home with an ice pack on my neck while everyone else is having fun.

To be fair, the family is probably having lots more fun without her there. But I can only imagine she makes them pay for it in spades with the guilt trips she lays on them.

[Koala]

Here's the thing.  I have no doubt that Lori had a brain tumor.  For that, I am genuinely sorry for her.  

I also have no doubt that she has used her "health problems" to control her family/get attention/get her way for many years.

These are just the highlights that can be found in the "Health" section of the Always Learning blog.  It doesn't even touch her complaints on TTW blog. I am not going to use quote boxes, since there are so many of them.  Pay careful attention to the story about her arm.  She says she's sure it was broken, but she never went to a doctor.  Then she claims that it was broken, and she fixed it by dipping it in her sink.  

-I have had a lot of health problems

- my knees began to ache, then my legs began to ache and now even my arms

-My arms were hurting from typing so much

-...suffering weeks with a headache

-My gut hurt constantly, I was naseous and had diarrhea. 

-...urinary tract or bladder infections. I have gotten them so badly that I have bled

-...my eyes developed blepheritis on my upper eyelids

-I tend to get sores on the top of my nose that are skin damage...

-Dairy is something that doesn't agree with me.

-my toes, feet and legs hurt so badly I could barely walk. I had painful tendonitis in my feet

-I was in a car accident 25 years ago, smashed between two semi-trucks with double whiplash. I had to have my neck fused 

-Several years ago, I hurt my neck again.

-It felt like it was on fire. I finally figured out that it was my esophagus that was inflamed and -the intense pain was radiating to my neck!

-my head was pounding a month afterwards! I finally was able to do a nasal wash and a ton of thick, green and hard mucus came out. I had a raging sinus infection. 

-I recently got a sinus infection from a cold and nothing I had previously done helped it to get better.

-Over a year ago, I had dental work and couldn't eat on the right side of my mouth for several months.  

-We figured I injured a cranial nerve so I lived on soft food for a year.  

-I got a bladder infection. It was extremely painful. I was even bleeding from it. 

-My gut is so sensitive from all the drugs I took trying to get rid of the parasites

-I got mastitis where the breast gets infected shortly after birth. It was also very painful. 

-whenever I have a sore that doesn't heal, I use Black Salve

-I have another story of pain I endured

-I started developing severe pain in my right shoulder.

-I had a ton of painful spots.

-I think I am very accident prone

-I landed on my right arm in agony.  I didn't go to the doctor...but I'm sure it was broken. 

-I broke my arm last year and just keep dunking it in a sink full of ice water and within several weeks it was well. 

-I went to kick him so he'd stop biting me. Well, he ran away and I kicked the wall instead. Oh, I was in pain

-Last year, my feet were hurting me SO badly I could hardly walk. 

-I was full of parasites

-I had a sore on my chest that was getting redder and wouldn't heal. 

-I had this sore right near my elbow that wouldn't heal.

-Whenever I pull a muscle in my back, I just start icing it

-I hurt a nerve in my head.  

- I hurt my neck badly by closing the back hatch on our car.  

-I started having burning all over my body, arms, and legs.  I was in tremendous pain. 

-I finallly realized a lot of it was from my esophagus being on fire.

 -I had acid reflux and heartburn so severe that I was in constant burning pain. 

 -I had h-pylori which caused a burning stomach.

 -I did a back handspring and landed on my head.  I felt a pop in my neck and was sore afterwards 

-I ran as fast as I could into a plate glass window.

-I broke my nose in three places and had to have surgery. 

-When I was 30, I was smashed between two semi-trucks with double whiplash and a broken tailbone.

-My stomach always killed me and I was always nauseous and had diarrhea often.  I went to many doctors and specialist, had many tests performed, and was told that it was all in my head.  This went on for two years. 

-I still have to be very careful with my neck.  I can't lift heavy things or I suffer

-Ken and I both have bad teeth

-For one and a half years, I was literally flat on my back. I had a disc in the middle of my neck that was pushing into my spinal cord. It was extremely painful. I had burning pain and weakness all over my body down to my feet. 

-I decided I must have inflammation in my neck 

-After neck surgery, I had extremely painful tendonitis in my shoulder so I started icing it-

Am I saying that this is all lies?  No.  I think some of it is real.  I think some of it is normal shit that everyone gets, but Lori makes A MILLION times worse by trying to "cure" it with shit she buys on the internet.  I think some of it is awfully convenient, and seems to crop up right when Lori needs to to get out of work or get the attention back on herself.  

Either way, I think it's a LOT of complaining to be coming from a woman who demands that everyone else "suffer in silence".

To further that thought, here are two of Lori's YouTube videos.  Listen to them after reading these quotes, and you'll see why I find it so odd.

Suffering in silence-

Complaining-

 

[Curious]

I had to look up Blepharitis:

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Blepharitis is when you have bacteria and oily flakes at the base of your eyelashes. Your eyelids are red, swollen, or feel like they are burning. Blepharitis is very common, especially among people who have oily skin, dandruff or dry eyes.

This does not surprise me since she uses grilled cheese grease as hand lotion.

I didn't realize she had a neck fusion.  A whole lot of that "burning pain" is nerve damage, you dolt.  I'm certain a dr. must have explained that to her at some point.

It also sounds like she has some kind of autoimmune component going on.

I don't think I've ever used the word gut.  It seems...crass?  not sure that's the work I'm looking for.  I would say my stomach is upset, not my gut is upset.

If she wasn't so into woo a lot of her problems could be easily taken care of with proper medical care.  If you have a bladder infection where you are peeing blood you do to the fucking dr.  Not dick around with some kind of expensive woo you found on the internet.  

I'm not going to lie, a neck fusion is my worst nightmare and I know there is likely one in my future (though my neck has stayed relatively healthy so far.  My main concern is ended up with a compression fracture at the top of my current fusion, which means they will just go ahead and fuse the rest since they are in there).  

Instead of icing everything, she should get a soft neck collar for $20ish at CVS or whatever her local pharmacy is and wear that.  It would releaive the pressure.  I wonder if she has even had her fusion checked or monitored since she had it done.

She doesn't have the sense Rufus gave a rock!