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Chelsy and John Maxwell 4: Will She Blog Post the Honeymoon


Coconut Flan

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Not to be a BEC but this picture makes me sad.  Teri looks a hot mess, especially compared to Mrs. B.  She looks older than some octogenarians and nonagenarians I know.  I do not think these two ladies are that far apart in age but the picture?  Teri has the joy of a squad of Azkaban dementors.  And it shows.

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Could Chelsy be doing what I’d be doing in her situation—hanging around the house with a mug of tea and READING? Like, stuff other than the Bible and Christianese?
I just got married and moved to a new state. It's been a month and I mostly just sleep in, drink coffee, and watch TV. It's awesome to relax while I look for jobs!
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From the newest post, it's obvious Chelsy didn't know NR Anna, Melanie, and Elissa very well, and maybe even not Anna, Mary, and Sarah. But I have to admit I like her way of thinking - they are going to be a big part of her future life, and she wanted to include them in her most important day so far. I could see her becoming close with Elissa and Melanie, who are probably the least fun-hating and restricted of the Maxwell bunch. Let's hope she becomes close with Sarah, too. 

A little late but... I think Melanie and Elissa looked absolutely beautiful in the wedding pictures. And, Melanie is even wearing earrings! Not surprising that it's these two Maxwells who haven't hitched their grey camis up on their neck like the other M ladies. 

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8 hours ago, Soulhuntress said:

image.png.06a8042f7d68f25629ad9e01daf257db.png

Not to be a BEC but this picture makes me sad.  Teri looks a hot mess, especially compared to Mrs. B.  She looks older than some octogenarians and nonagenarians I know.  I do not think these two ladies are that far apart in age but the picture?  Teri has the joy of a squad of Azkaban dementors.  And it shows.

To be fair, Becky is a 12 years younger than Teri. Although this is one of the better recent pictures of Teri. Her hair is done and the ugly outfit isn't showing. 

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So they couldn't afford a better wedding? I mean they invited too many people who did not fit in the reception hall

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16 minutes ago, Toothfairy said:

So they couldn't afford a better wedding? I mean they invited too many people who did not fit in the reception hall

That's what I will never understand about fundies. They invite hundreds upon hundreds of people. And then cheap out on basic wedding stuff. Like food or venue. I chose to have a small wedding because I wanted to feed my guests a good meal in an enjoyable atmosphere. I didn't want my guests standing around in a parking lot like Jill Duggar. And I wanted to feed them more than a sliver of cake and cheap punch.

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1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

To be fair, Becky is a 12 years younger than Teri. Although this is one of the better recent pictures of Teri. Her hair is done and the ugly outfit isn't showing. 

Wow.  

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9 hours ago, Soulhuntress said:

image.png.06a8042f7d68f25629ad9e01daf257db.png

Not to be a BEC but this picture makes me sad.  Teri looks a hot mess, especially compared to Mrs. B.  She looks older than some octogenarians and nonagenarians I know.  I do not think these two ladies are that far apart in age but the picture?  Teri has the joy of a squad of Azkaban dementors.  And it shows.

Teri is actually a couple of months younger than me, but I do think she looks a bit older than I do.  I took better care of my skin.  Neither of us look like octogenarians or nonagenarians.  We look like women in our 60s who don't dye our gray hair, have not had plastic surgery, and don't use a lot of make-up.  I know this annoys some younger people who think we look like shit, but I call it growing old gracefully.   

I don't think she looks a hot mess here.  Teri is actually much better looking in person.  She's just not photogenic.  Neither are Mary and Anna who are very pretty in person.

57 minutes ago, Toothfairy said:

So they couldn't afford a better wedding? I mean they invited too many people who did not fit in the reception hall

It is a standard Fundie wedding.  They invite all Rabbit's friends and relations who know what to expect food and reception-wise.  And they fed people more and better food than usual.   

Honestly.  This should be on the Dreaded Topics of Doom list, if it isn't already.  The subject comes up again and again. :laughing-jumpingpurple:

51 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

That's what I will never understand about fundies. They invite hundreds upon hundreds of people. And then cheap out on basic wedding stuff.  Like food or venue. I chose to have a small wedding because I wanted to feed my guests a good meal in an enjoyable atmosphere.

Good for you.  If you were a Fundie or anyone for whom a punch and cake reception is the norm (it isn't just Fundies) that would probably have greatly offended all the friends and relations who didn't make the cut.

Weddings reflect regional and cultural differences and expectations.  Your (general your) wedding isn't necessarily better than a Fundie wedding.  Just meet the expectations of your guests as well as you can and hope they enjoy it.  Unless your guests are assholes, it's really just another party and they should hold the criticism.

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I've been to a huge amount of weddings in my life. Some were fancy and some were not. Hay bails were the seats provided in one wedding and it was fun and laid back. Other weddings were in expensive hotel banquet rooms. They were well planned and there was always enough food and seating for everyone. Some fundie weddings are not well planned. Not having enough seats or not providing a meal during meal times is not great planning in my opinion. 

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I agree about wedding receptions being a topic of doom.  It's cultural folks and not a moral failing.  My next door neighbors are SBC and what I describe as fundie lite.  If they had other than a cake and punch reception for their daughters, their fellow church members would still be gossiping about them for "putting on a show" or trying to one up everyone else or not knowing how things are done, etc.  It's knowing what your guests expect and what is considered right within that family's milieu. 

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2 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Teri is actually a couple of months younger than me, but I do think she looks a bit older than I do.  I took better care of my skin.  Neither of us look like octogenarians or nonagenarians.  We look like women in our 60s who don't dye our gray hair, have not had plastic surgery, and don't use a lot of make-up.  I know this annoys some younger people who think we look like shit, but I call it growing old gracefully.   

As a 69-year-old, thank you for this! 

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3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

That's what I will never understand about fundies. They invite hundreds upon hundreds of people. And then cheap out on basic wedding stuff. Like food or venue. I chose to have a small wedding because I wanted to feed my guests a good meal in an enjoyable atmosphere. I didn't want my guests standing around in a parking lot like Jill Duggar. And I wanted to feed them more than a sliver of cake and cheap punch.

This. I was planning a wedding, but due to the fact that we don’t have much family on either side and friends are scattered all over, instead of spending a lot of money (mainly photographer alone) on food and a reception for maybe 20 people we decided to save our money and go to a resort soon where the is someone to photograph the ceremony and when we come back we will rent a space in a nice restaurant and invite everyone to come up and have lots of wine and good food (maybe cake undecided so far on that) to celebrate and tell of our wedding and honeymoon. 

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5 hours ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

From the newest post, it's obvious Chelsy didn't know NR Anna, Melanie, and Elissa very well, and maybe even not Anna, Mary, and Sarah. But I have to admit I like her way of thinking - they are going to be a big part of her future life, and she wanted to include them in her most important day so far. I could see her becoming close with Elissa and Melanie, who are probably the least fun-hating and restricted of the Maxwell bunch. Let's hope she becomes close with Sarah, too.

Yes, I agree. 

I think this is one of the best things about the Bontragers: they are fully accepting and welcoming of the new in-laws. It's easy to see from their blogs that Chelsy and Allison treat their brothers' wives Cassidy, Caroline, and Bryn as sisters and full-on members of the family, not some second-tier married-ins. (I dislike the "sisters-in-love" phrasing that they use, but that's only because I think it's super-twee.)

It's a huge contrast to the Maxwell view of their sons becoming "extended family" upon marriage. Obviously I think that the married children need to "leave and cleave" and grow their own separate families and values, but that doesn't mean that they should be loved any less.

I really hope that Chelsy brings this "more people to love!" attitude to the Maxwell neighbourhood.

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I think fundies have the same mentality towards wedding guests as they do towards children. You can't have too many flowers, children, or wedding guests! Oh no you most certainly can have too many wedding guests for your chosen venue. And they seem to think things will all just magically work out at the wedding reception just like they think having 15 children will magically work out just fine. But we also know that's not true. 

I have no issue with women Teri's age dyeing their hair. I think Teri's hair looks nice with the mix of colors. But if she dyed it brown, I'm sure it would look nice too. My mother is Teri's age and dyes her hair. I think she's still aging gracefully.

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3 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Teri is actually a couple of months younger than me, but I do think she looks a bit older than I do.  I took better care of my skin.  Neither of us look like octogenarians or nonagenarians.  We look like women in our 60s who don't dye our gray hair, have not had plastic surgery, and don't use a lot of make-up.  I know this annoys some younger people who think we look like shit, but I call it growing old gracefully.   

I don't think she looks a hot mess here.  Teri is actually much better looking in person.  She's just not photogenic.  Neither are Mary and Anna who are very pretty in person.

Another thank-you from me. I was thinking Teri looked pretty good. I'm 56, don't dye my gray hair, haven't had plastic surgery, and seldom wear make-up. I'm quite satisfied with my appearance but if Teri in the photo is a hot mess, then so am I.

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I kinda hope when Chelsy had her little sister visiting she had Abby over for a play date. Abby, being the eldest grandchild, is often forced into infantile and age inappropriate activities. It would be nice for her to interact with a similar aged child who isn't related to her. 

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2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I've been to a huge amount of weddings in my life. Some were fancy and some were not. Hay bails were the seats provided in one wedding and it was fun and laid back. Other weddings were in expensive hotel banquet rooms. They were well planned and there was always enough food and seating for everyone. Some fundie weddings are not well planned. Not having enough seats or not providing a meal during meal times is not great planning in my opinion. 

I agree with you. What I was always taught was this:

If you want a cake and punch reception, go ahead, but make sure it's not during a meal time. This would be a 2-4 o'clock reception. 

If you have your reception during a typical meal time, either lunch or dinner, then you need to provide a decent meal. This would be a 12-2 or 5-8 o'clock reception. After 8, at least provide heavy hor d'oeuvres and lots of them. 

If you can't afford to provide a decent meal, either pick another time to have your reception or have way less guests. 

And definitely never invite more people than your venue can accommodate. If it can't, and some sort of obligation requires you to invite more, figure something out - either set up an extra tent, or find different tables, or something. 

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I think Terri's hair is nice, gray hair is pretty in my opinion and it looks healthy. She does inspire me to moisturize my skin with more regularity though.

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1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think fundies have the same mentality towards wedding guests as they do towards children. You can't have too many flowers, children, or wedding guests! Oh no you most certainly can have too many wedding guests for your chosen venue. And they seem to think things will all just magically work out at the wedding reception just like they think having 15 children will magically work out just fine. But we also know that's not true. 

So I fall on the side of thinking this is a cultural norms thing and understand that I'm not going to change any minds who feel strongly about what a wedding must entail... but wanted to throw just one thing out there on inviting a million people. Chelsy has So. Damn. Many. relatives, even if they'd only invited family, their celebration  would have been much larger than most weddings. They invited more people because they are related to/ interact with more people. Sure, you can come down on whether that means they should have invited all those people, which is where I'm sure we differ (seems fine to me! Standard for their circle/ who wants to tell cousin whoever she can't bring her 8 kids), but it doesn't look like they invited all those people just because they wanted guests upon guests in a small reception venue (what they could afford) without reason. There's plenty of reasons to accuse fundies of magical thinking, but this one seems pretty straightforward to me.

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7 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

That's what I will never understand about fundies. They invite hundreds upon hundreds of people. And then cheap out on basic wedding stuff. Like food or venue. I chose to have a small wedding because I wanted to feed my guests a good meal in an enjoyable atmosphere. I didn't want my guests standing around in a parking lot like Jill Duggar. And I wanted to feed them more than a sliver of cake and cheap punch.

And Taco soup. WTf!!!. If you're going to have a shitty wedding just get married at the courthouse 

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18 minutes ago, Toothfairy said:

And Taco soup. WTf!!!. If you're going to have a shitty wedding just get married at the courthouse 

Now that I've had a wedding with all the strsss and planning that comes with it, courthouse weddings sound absolutely heavenly to me. I will never marry again even if I divorce my husband tomorrow. However if someone managed to talk me into it, a courthouse wedding it is! 

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I think Teri looks well. She could have dressed better for the wedding, but it wasn't a fancy ceremony, so I think she wore an acceptable outfit. She was way better in Joseph's wedding, but maybe this time she choosed the clothes not based in the looks but in the weather.

I think depression and a life with Steve have aged her. Her eyes look always tired or like she was in pain. But I find her grey hair stylish and the lack of make up fits her, makes her somehow elegant. The funny thing is that she has the looks of an 70's lefty activist, the opposite of a fundie wife with no professional career. 

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4 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

I think Teri looks well. She could have dressed better for the wedding, but it wasn't a fancy ceremony, so I think she wore an acceptable outfit. She was way better in Joseph's wedding, but maybe this time she choosed the clothes not based in the looks but in the weather.

I think depression and a life with Steve have aged her. Her eyes look always tired or like she was in pain. But I find her grey hair stylish and the lack of make up fits her, makes her somehow elegant. The funny thing is that she has the looks of an 70's lefty activist, the opposite of a fundie wife with no professional career. 

THIS. Teri looks like so many of my professors and college friends' moms (some of whom were hippie liberal arts professors). I want to buy her some turquoise jewelry or Chico's accoutrements so she can be the Cool Hippie Mom she already kinda looks like. 

Also, the Cool Hippie Mom look is a great look. I aspire to rock it when my hair is grey. 

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1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Now that I've had a wedding with all the strsss and planning that comes with it, courthouse weddings sound absolutely heavenly to me. I will never marry again even if I divorce my husband tomorrow. However if someone managed to talk me into it, a courthouse wedding it is! 

I am religious and I have wanted a courthouse wedding since I was 18. I will never change my mind. There is no way I am going to stress myself out on the most important day of my life. 

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