Chelsy and John Maxwell 4: Will She Blog Post the Honeymoon

[mango_fandango]

I’m introverted and hate being the centre of attention so I’m definitely having a registry office wedding (if I ever get married, as I’ve never actually been in a relationship I am somewhat jumping the gun here). There is no way in hell I would ever want to walk down any kind of aisle!!! And I would only invite family and *close* friends. I wouldn’t invite coworkers who I barely know, for example, that would be weird to me. 

I’ve seen stories about people who have the ceremony, a reception and an evening do, all lasting hours... I would be utterly exhausted. I can only people for so long. It’d be even worse if I didn’t know anyone (eg I’d been invited as a plus-one). On another forum someone started a thread asking how big their wedding was... someone said 350 people!! I just cannot ever imagine knowing that many people, let alone asking them to a wedding. 

My parents were not married when they had me or my brother, and only married six years ago when Dad had been ill as a financial thing (he’s ok, just waiting on a transplant). There were six of us at the registry office; the two guests were my mum’s friend and my granddad (Dad’s dad). 

Plus there’s the whole pressure thing to do with weddings, all the money it costs and worrying about table settings and photographers and wedding bands... *if* I get married, it’ll be a small registry office affair, and then we can all decamp back to my place for a buffet/picnic type meal. I can plug my phone into some speakers. No big poofy white dress (I hate long skirts). 

[sparkles]

9 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Teri is actually a couple of months younger than me, but I do think she looks a bit older than I do.  I took better care of my skin.  Neither of us look like octogenarians or nonagenarians.  We look like women in our 60s who don't dye our gray hair, have not had plastic surgery, and don't use a lot of make-up.  I know this annoys some younger people who think we look like shit, but I call it growing old gracefully.  

Sing it! I’ll be 64 and I’m 100% ok with my gray haired, wrinkled, non-made-up self. 

[anjulibai]

DH and I went to the courthouse. We kind of regret, kind of don't. Our plan was to have a nice reception later, but it became quickly apparent that was unlikely to happen. Then we thought we'd have a big party for our 10 year anniversary. Well, it's 10 years next year, and I don't see it happening. Not with my mom gone now and us having 2 kids and hoping to buy a house soon. 

[DooDahDame]

I'm in my 70s and have colored my hair for years. So now we are lightening the color and letting the roots grow out naturally. I'm a light blonde right now and I hope to rock the new natural. As far as makeup, it's a nope for me since I suffer from SEVERE hot flashes and makeup running down your face is not attractive. It sometime looked like an effigy from an overheated wax museum. Also I lost a large amount of weight in the last several years. Unfortunately a lot of the loss was in my face, arms and legs. Between crepey skin and wrinkles...aging gracefully ain't! I'm okay with it all as long as everyday is an adventure! And Mr. 3D still thinks I'm sexy.

[WiseGirl]

12 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

  We look like women in our 60s who don't dye our gray hair, have not had plastic surgery, and don't use a lot of make-up. 

Yes!  In my 50's.  I wear minimal make-up, rocking the white hair highlights.  I was corrected when I first quit coloring my hair. I thought it was gray, but nope it is white.  Plastic surgery - hell no - I'd rather take that money and travel.  Experiences is where it is at for me now, not things.

[HereticHick]

On 4/21/2018 at 9:12 PM, VBOY9977 said:

Chelsy made another wedding post. This time about how she chose her bridesmaids:

http://www.chelsyrenee.com/2018/04/our-wedding-part-four-how-i-chose-my.html?m=1

 they’re her sisters, SIL’s and cousin and best friend...that’s enough of an explanation to me. 

And she wrote: "We also knew that our bridal party lineup wasn't going to be very normal in any way, and we couldn't have cared less!
(we have a lot of freedom in our non-traditional-ness, haha!) "

I don't understand what was abnormal in the wedding lineup.???  Siblings, in-laws, and best friends.

[SilverBeach]

14 hours ago, sparkles said:

Sing it! I’ll be 64 and I’m 100% ok with my gray haired, wrinkled, non-made-up self. 

I'll be 63 in a few months. Gray hair does not fit me, but my sister and mom are just fine with it. I've always been more high maintenance than them both though, haha. I like makeup too but am not compulsive about it. Wish I was more consistent with my skincare routine but I don't have wrinkles (genetic, mom didn't either at 91). I think we should be comfortable in our skin at this age no matter what. I do what i do for me, not anyone else.

[Palimpsest]

17 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

The funny thing is that she has the looks of an 70's lefty Fundie activist, the opposite epitome of a fundie wife with no one of the only professional careers allowed for Fundie women. 

FTFY.  That is exactly what she is.  She is a college graduate who has had a professional career as an author, lecturer, teacher and mentor - promoting those radical concepts of submission, homeschooling with a meek and quiet spirit, and managing the home to Fundies.  People tend to underestimate Teri because she plays the victim and submissive roles so well.  She is a very good public speaker and has played a big part in the "ministry."

MOTH and HWAMQS are basically how-to books on getting your (multiple) children to raise and educate themselves.  The chore charts and packs keep the kids at a distance, perfect for an introverted mother who prefers writing and private time to teaching and interacting with children.  I think Teri loves her children and grandchildren, but doesn't like the noise and chaos that comes with little kids.  She prefers being around older children and grown-ups.  There's nothing wrong with that. 

1 hour ago, HereticHick said:

I don't understand what was abnormal in the wedding lineup.???  Siblings, in-laws, and best friends.

They are super non-traditional because of the numbers.  Fourteen a side (plus bell ringers and flower girls) is a lot even for a super Fundie wedding party.  And the age range of 30 years!  Say no more.

Plus of course they are non-traditional.  You get the "non-traditional-ness" of wanting your "sisters in love" (the unGodly all hate their in-laws, you know), the super special reversals, and the talking about Steve's scrotum at the wedding.

As an aside:  I can see myself getting as irritated by Chelsy's overuse of "super" as I am by Sarah's "amazing" and "crazy busy."

[SilverBeach]

12 hours ago, WiseGirl said:

Yes!  In my 50's.  I wear minimal make-up, rocking the white hair highlights.  I was corrected when I first quit coloring my hair. I thought it was gray, but nope it is white.  Plastic surgery - hell no - I'd rather take that money and travel.  Experiences is where it is at for me now, not things.

I've thought about a tummy tuck, decades of losing and gaining weight, and babies, has wreaked havoc there. But nah, I enjoy my body, Mr. SB like it, and to spend money like that, well,I just can't do it. Coloring my hair will be the last thing to go though, I have fun with it.

[Palimpsest]

20 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

I think we should be comfortable in our skin at this age no matter what. I do what i do for me, not anyone else.

Precisely.  That is exactly the point.  Do what is best for you and if anyone tells you to do otherwise then you can tell them to shove it.   

I used to color my hair, but about 10 years ago I got tired of it.  I hate the smell, I hated spending the time and money at the hairdresser, and I hated wandering around dripping Clairol when I tried home-coloring.  So I decided to go natural.  I found it very freeing and I like the way it looks with silver skunk-like streaks.  It may age me, but I don't care!

[Jana814]

I use to dye my hair a red color for a few years. It got to much so I asked my hairdresser if I could go back to my natural color and I did and I have not dyed my hair in about 6 years.  My mother gets her hair dyed on a regular basis and gets her hair blown out every other week.  I got my hair done on Saturday because we were going to a wedding. 

[Hane]

I’m 65 and get my hair colored mainly because I don’t like my Bride of Frankenstein gray pattern. I also have a turquoise streak on the right side of my hair. Each month, as I head toward retirement, I’ll be adding another color of the rainbow. I partly do this because I find a tattoo too much of a commitment.

[Palimpsest]

For @Hane

My Gray Hairs

(With apologies to Eric Carmen and Hungry Eyes.)

I've been meaning to tell you
I've got this feelin' that won't subside
I look at you and I fantasize
You're gray tonight
But I've got you in my sights

With these gray hairs
One look at you and I can disguise
that I've got gray hair
I feel the magic between you and I

I want to dye you so hear me out
I want to show you what love's all about
Turquoise tonight
Now I've got you in my sights

With these gray hairs
One look at you and I can disguise
I've got gray hairs
I feel the magic between you and I
I've got gray hairs
Now I've got you in my sights
You'll be purple tonight
Now did I take you by surprise

I need you to see
This love was meant to be

I've got gray hairs
One look at you and I can disguise
I've got gray hair
I feel the magic between you and I
You'll be pink tonight
Now I've got you in my sights
With those gray hairs
Now did I take you by surprise
My old gray hairs
I need...
Multicolor hair
Now I've got you in my sights
You'll be rainbow hairs!

 

And because there is nothing like seeing the sadly late Patrick Swayze dancing:

 

[Hane]

Kudos, @Palimpsest! I feel so in demand! By coincidence, some FB rando posted in a public thread that he wanted to friend me so I could teach him how to make pancakes. Now my friends are starting to call me Pancakes.

[Palimpsest]

23 minutes ago, Hane said:

Kudos, @Palimpsest! I feel so in demand! By coincidence, some FB rando posted in a public thread that he wanted to friend me so I could teach him how to make pancakes. Now my friends are starting to call me Pancakes.

Well, congratulations, I think.  Does he look nice or really strange?  And Pancakes is probably better than being called Pot Roast or Gumbo.

And you may have influenced me.  I was just making a grocery list and contemplating putting grape Kool-aid on it.  I rather fancy temporary purple streaks and I gather kool-aid works for that and doesn't smell bad.

[deborahlynn1979]

Honestly, I think Chelsy is posting so many posts about her wedding because she's really happy about it, but also because she can post lot$ of affiliate link$.

 

 

[browngrl]

Chelsy has written another wedding post and it is all pretty innocuous but one thing stood out for me. She writes " We also knew that our bridal party lineup wasn't going to be very normal in any way, and we couldn't have cared less!". She comments on how non traditional her bridesmaid choices were several times. I don't get it. She choose her sisters/sisters in law and friends as bridesmaids. This seems to be the definition of traditional and standard to me.  Why would she think this was so quirky (other than the usual fundy belief that they are special snowflakes )?

[Ozlsn]

On 23/04/2018 at 8:50 AM, mango_fandango said:

On another forum someone started a thread asking how big their wedding was... someone said 350 people!! I just cannot ever imagine knowing that many people, let alone asking them to a wedding. 

In Feb I went to a friend's wedding which had 400 guests - for the cultural group she's from that was a small wedding, for my cultural group it was huge. I sat next to her ex-flatmate and we swapped information about wedding customs, which started with her asking if we normally had a band going during the reception ("yes, but after the food so we can dance" "AFTER the food? The reception doesn't finish when the courses do?!")

The smallest wedding I've been to had about 20-30 guests; the largest had over 1000. The happy couple knew about 100 of them, the rest were parental invites. 

I have to say the punch and cake reception is fine, but you do need at least enough space for everyone to be comfortable - and in midwinter that probably means a reasonably large hall.  About the only major faux pas you can make with a wedding in my cultural group is to ask guests to buy their own drinks - soft drinks, beer and wine are kind of expected as given at the very least, whether it's a top end venue or a backyard BBQ. (Unless you're having a breakfast wedding - well, I'd probably still expect soft drinks and champagne! And coffee. Always tea and coffee!!)

[MamaJunebug]

3 words: Clairol Natural Instincts

No peroxide, only takes 10 minutes to do its thing, and if you don’t like it, shampoo daily and it’ll be gone in a month. 

I’m grey but prefer my hair red. My natural color was brown but with my skin tone, most people presume I’m a natural ginger. 

If someone gave me the money for it, and guaranteed the doc would do it 100% right, I’d  eliminate the puffs under my eyes. I feel great until I look in the mirror and think, “Boy, I look tired!”

Then I go back to my task at hand and forget that I look tired and feel fine. 

Makeup? HAHAHAHA

My peeve with Teri is fundamental [sic] and she could look like Glinda The Good Witch and I’d still despise everything about her. 

[SassyPants]

I'm just shy of 60 and have my hair colored and cut every 4 weeks- I do use expensive face products because I've had skin cancer and am very fair. My mom never took care of her skin and it really shows. Makeup, clothing, I'm pretty low maintenance. I do think Teri looks pretty in those pictures, and from what I've seen, CB's mom wasn't dressed any better than Teri. 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

9 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I do think Teri looks pretty in those pictures, and from what I've seen, CB's mom wasn't dressed any better than Teri. 

Becky Bon was wearing a very pretty dress that she also wore to Mitchell’s wedding. It is gray to it goes very well with the gray suits in the wedding party. However I think she ruined the beauty of the dress with a red cardigan. But she may have been very cold. As it was single digits that day. My problem with Teri’s outfit is the color black doesn’t go with any of the wedding colors. It sticks out. Here is Becky’s dress at Mitchell’s wedding. I also think Bryn’s Mom has an interesting and kind of cute dress that goes well with their wedding party.

[Four is Enough]

I went grey in my thirties and kept coloring until I hit about 60, when I just got so tired of it... yesterday at the doctor's office, I met a woman of similar age, with grey hair, who had what looked like glitter glue in her hair... It was SO CUTE!! Not too much, but throughout her hair, which was chin length. I didn't get to ask her exactly what it was or how it was applied, but she did say her daughter found it an acceptable substitute for hair color.. and I think my daughter might as well..

[Black Aliss]

I didn't start going grey until I was in my mid-40's. Unfortunately I was just about to enter a new field where companies tend to devalue mature people. I started coloring then but didn't want that flat single color look because my natural hair had lots of different shades. I got a complicated foil treatment with 2 different highlights, 1 lowlight (darker than my natural color) and just a few streaks of purple. The whole thing was subtle and I loved it, except for having to do touchups every month. It just got too expensive, both in time and in money. I did the foils for the last time just before interviewing with a new company and when I saw how many people in this organization had grey hair, I stopped.

I love my grey hair, which has all the color variations that my pre-grey hair had but I do miss those purple streaks. Keep looking at those hair chalks on Amazon. . .

[singsingsing]

My mother went grey in her 20s. I always assumed I would too. I found my first grey hair when I was 19 and figured it was inevitable. But I'm 30 now and while I have a few grey strands, nothing noticeable yet. I'm kind of torn, because I love my natural hair colour and I've never dyed it, but my mum has absolutely beautiful silver hair and I'm hoping I will as well. Whenever I do start going grey in earnest, I might dye my hair for a few years just for fun, because I never have before, but I'm far from dreading having grey hair!

[usedbicycle]

I'm loving all the natural hair discussion, but going back to what Chelsy does all day...

These women have spent their life in a family home, only studying for a couple hours a day and the rest of the time spent on domestic endeavors. Although living with just one other person is a huge adjustment (the silence, the solitude), much of the days activities remain the same, and it's easy to fill a week with domestic/personal tasks even with a family of just 2. Based on the lives of some newlywed facebook acquaintances I have, I could see her day going like this:

7 am: get up, shower, make breakfast for husband

8 am: breakfast + daily devotions with husband, he leaves for work

9 am: do a load of laundry, check social media, work on a blog post or personal bible time

11 am: go grocery shopping / clothes thrifting / on errands for husband

12 am: lunch with a friend, sister-in-law, or alone at home, start thinking about what to make for supper

1 pm: fold and put away laundry while listening to a christian podcast or chatting with mom/sister on the phone

1:30 pm: Clean the house following a weekly established chore list

3 pm: babysit relatives / volunteer for the church / bookkeep or blog for family business / work on a house decoration or renovation project in the house / get items crossed off husband's to-do list / try a new recipe / teach piano lessons

5 pm: start supper, get ready for husband's arrival, greet husband when he gets back from work

6-9 pm: Whatever husband wants to do.