Joy & Austin 20: Baby Gideon is Here

[Beermeet]

On 2/28/2018 at 2:38 PM, Carm_88 said:

Why do I spend my time on FJ? Because people here are hilarious, intelligent, understanding, and genuinely nice people who I would love to have a drink with. I've learned so much! I get so many book recommendations that my book list is overflowing (I've finished The All Souls Trilogy guys, I loved it). If you ask any question, there is going to be someone who knows the answer and then someone else who has a completely different perspective! At the end of a long, rough day, I can grab the wine and skittles, catch up with the crazy I've missed and laugh. If being happy is wrong or crazy, then I don't want to be right! 

Omg!  I've read them all 3 times! 

And:

http://ew.com/books/2018/02/06/deborah-harkness-times-convert-announcement/amp/?__twitter_impression=true

Yes!  More Matthew De Clermont please!  And, just all of it.

[neurogirl]

@VelociRapture and @SapphireSlytherin if I weren't essentially the only granddaughter on my dad's side I would think you were cousins of mine! My last name is also harsh-sounding and German, and only people related to me carry the name. NO ONE can say it or spell it right. My first name is also pretty unique so I think I'm the only person in the entire world with my name though, which is pretty cool. I am so conflicted about changing my name. I don't want to on principle, but my fiance's last name is one-syllable, pleasant, and SO MANY puns can be made out of it. If I kept my maiden name, any children would probably have his last name. And I don't like the idea of not matching the rest of my chosen family. It's just so hard and my fiance is leaving the choice up to me but HE doesn't have to think about it!

[freethemall]

My husband and I combined our last names into one, each changed them to the new ones. Our families thought we were crazy. Fundies would be disgusted by our lack of patriarchy, with my husband being further emasculated by having been a stay at home dad for 8 months while I worked full time.

[feministxtian]

26 minutes ago, neurogirl said:

@VelociRapture and @SapphireSlytherin if I weren't essentially the only granddaughter on my dad's side I would think you were cousins of mine! My last name is also harsh-sounding and German, and only people related to me carry the name. NO ONE can say it or spell it right. My first name is also pretty unique so I think I'm the only person in the entire world with my name though, which is pretty cool. I am so conflicted about changing my name. I don't want to on principle, but my fiance's last name is one-syllable, pleasant, and SO MANY puns can be made out of it. If I kept my maiden name, any children would probably have his last name. And I don't like the idea of not matching the rest of my chosen family. It's just so hard and my fiance is leaving the choice up to me but HE doesn't have to think about it!

All 3 of you must be related to me! 

[Evangeline]

I haven't read this whole thread. Dang, it's long! I just wanted to say how much I love Canada. In addition to giving the world Virtue and Moir, the Barenaked Ladies, poutine, and Justin Trudeau, you've now blessed us with shit disturbing, which frankly is a pretty good description of my adult life. Y'all rock. If it weren't for your shit weather, I would have crossed the border on November 8, 2016. 

[Kailash]

My husband was willing to change his name to mine when we married but it wasn’t a big deal to me. Since they both start with the same letter I have the same initials. (I took his.) Occasionally, very randomly, I will sign my maiden name. You’d think that after almost 20 years that wouldn’t happen anymore but it does. 

[singsingsing]

4 minutes ago, Evangeline said:

I haven't read this whole thread. Dang, it's long! I just wanted to say how much I love Canada. In addition to giving the world Virtue and Moir, the Barenaked Ladies, poutine, and Justin Trudeau, you've now blessed us with shit disturbing, which frankly is a pretty good description of my adult life. Y'all rock. If it weren't for your shit weather, I would have crossed the border on November 8, 2016. 

The climate is literally the only thing I don't like about living in Canada. And I live as far south as you can go and still be in Canada. That said, depending on where you live in the States, the climate might not be all that different. Most of us live within an hour or two of the American border.

[Jinder Roles]

Kind of surprised by all the people saying they want more common names for anonymity's sake. I have a common first and last name...it's so boring.  I secretly hope whoever I marry has an unusual last name (bonus points if it's a harsh German or hard to pronounce...I love names like that). I'll probably hyphenate if I get married. 

[feministxtian]

42 minutes ago, Jinder Roles said:

Kind of surprised by all the people saying they want more common names for anonymity's sake. I have a common first and last name...it's so boring.  I secretly hope whoever I marry has an unusual last name (bonus points if it's a harsh German or hard to pronounce...I love names like that). I'll probably hyphenate if I get married. 

We have talked about changing our last name back to hubby's bio father's last name, He changed his name to his stepfather's name in high school (it's a long story). The downside would be changing all sorts of identification. The upside is that I would have my original initials! His bio father's last name and my maiden name start with the same letter. It's also German, so a shout out to my father (who was German). Although I absolutely hate my name, I don't feel like it fits me, I'm glad my father got hold of the birth certificate paperwork instead of my mother. If my mother had gotten to fill it out, my whole name would be much longer and much more ethnic. 

[MarblesMom]

When stepson and his GF had kids, they actually invented a last name for the kids.

I didn't even know that was legal.  Apparently, it is. In California, anyway.

[Alice in Fundieland]

14 minutes ago, MarblesMom said:

When stepson and his GF had kids, they actually invented a last name for the kids.

I didn't even know that was legal.  Apparently, it is. In California, anyway.

An acquaintance’s parents wanted their children to be able to choose their own names when they were old enough so they just put letters on each birth certificate in place of a first and middle name (AB, BA, etc.) This woman liked having initials instead of a typical name so she never changed hers. It’s certainly unique. 

[singsingsing]

When are you ‘old enough’ to choose your own name? Or were they just supposed to be nameless till they were adults? ‘Cause if I’d named myself at the age of five I probably would’ve been Ariel, and at ten I would’ve been Maple Ruby Harmony, and at fifteen I probably would’ve picked some Elvish name (I’ve forgotten all my Elvish or I’d give an example). Actually, I guess Ariel wouldn’t have been that bad...

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

47 minutes ago, MarblesMom said:

When stepson and his GF had kids, they actually invented a last name for the kids.

I didn't even know that was legal.  Apparently, it is. In California, anyway.

One of my friends married a man who wanted to change his last name, but couldn't afford it at the time. So, when they got married, she kept her maiden name. When their child was born, they were allowed to use any last name they wanted on the birth certificate. (This was Arizona.) So they gave their child the last name that my friend's husband wanted to change his to eventually. When I met them, they each had a different last name. Thankfully, they were able to save up the money to change their names to the one they preferred.

I also know that coming up with the money for a legal name change can be a barrier to transgender people who want to match their legal identity to their real identity. I even know which newspaper in my town will print the required legal notices for free, instead of charging like the "mainstream" newspaper.

[Million Children For Jesus]

I have a very common first name and I’ve always hated it. When I was in kindergarten, I got so sick of being referred to by my first name plus first letter in my last name that I changed my name to Henrietta. I had never met a Henrietta. I think it was the name of a chicken in a book that I had read. This is probably the root of my love of baby names. Oh, to be a Henrietta. One can dream. 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

I have a relatively phonetic Eastern European name that is a bit long so people always get flustered trying to pronounce or spell it.  Seriously, no random z's anywhere!  I always thought I'd be glad to get rid of it because some of my extended family is just shit (once I had to patiently explain to equifax why I couldn't possibly owe 15 years of back child support when I was 21 because several family members have the same first initial as I do)... but when it came time to take my husband's name, I just couldn't.  We're an Ellis Island Special, too, and I'm the only person on earth with my name combo which I kind of love.  I'm really close to my parents, especially my dad, and I like sharing that.

Not to mention Mr GPC's last name rhymes with my first name which sounds cute but is actually vomit-worthy in this case.  We have yet to determine if any future kids will have my name or his, but I guess we can flip a coin.

[Jana814]

I have said this before. My cousin and his wife have 2 kids. The kids (both boys) have her last name because she wanted her last name to continue. Her sister does not have kids. My cousin's father was not thrilled at first but now he's over it. (It's been 10 years since their first son was born). 

[AprilQuilt]

15 hours ago, singsingsing said:

That’s right - at least as far as I know. Legally women go by their maiden names, and I’m not sure if there are any loopholes to get around it. That said, I’m not sure when it went into effect. Most of the older generation seem to go by their husbands’ surnames (at least the anglos).

@albanuadh_1 out of interest, I went to have a look at my family tree as a  branch of my family have been in Quebec since the 1850s. All adamantly Scottish Presbyterian stock, but living on the Gaspé mostly, among francophone Catholics. Glancing at the censuses, in the early 20th and late 19th centuries both francophone and anglophone women were definitely taking their husband's name. My aunts (in their 40s-50s) and the women of my grandfather's generation (70s-90s now), still go by their maiden names, though, so if it's a legal change rather than a social one I'm guessing it's something that happened in the twentieth century?

[Quiver Full of Kittens]

Mr. Kittens last name is Eastern European and uncommon. He’s the only one I’ve ever met with his last name. My maiden name was fairly common, or at least recognizable as it’s the same as an actor. I ended up taking his name because 1) If we have a child, I want us all to have the same last name. Just seems like it will make life easier. 2) His name is a Fast Pass through the alphabet and answered my most urgent prayer as an always at the end of the line primary student. 

Figuring out my middle name was much more difficult. I was torn between keeping my given middle name or replacing it with my maiden name.  I honestly didn’t decide until I was at the Social Security office filling out the name change form. 

[Chewing Gum]

Choosing a random last name sounds so weird to me. In the Netherlands you can choose mom or dad’s last name and any further children would automatically get the same last name. 

[mydoggoskeeper]

I have both an unusual, but not unheard of first and last name.  That is to say, you probably have heard of both but don't know anyone personally with them.  The combination of both makes my name very unique and me easy to find/google.  

In an odd twist of fate, both my first and last names have become well known because of pop culture in the last few years.  My last name features on Game of Thrones and my first is the name of a singer, on a popular tv show, etc.   When I meet people, my name is almost always  remarked upon for these reasons.   Some people even ask me if I'm joking.   On the plus side, people can now pronounce my name correctly -- such a change from when I was younger and everyone always mangled it.  

[tabitha2]

It will be hell on descendants trying to do genealogy for sure.  

[VelociRapture]

10 hours ago, neurogirl said:

@VelociRapture and @SapphireSlytherin if I weren't essentially the only granddaughter on my dad's side I would think you were cousins of mine! My last name is also harsh-sounding and German, and only people related to me carry the name. NO ONE can say it or spell it right. My first name is also pretty unique so I think I'm the only person in the entire world with my name though, which is pretty cool. I am so conflicted about changing my name. I don't want to on principle, but my fiance's last name is one-syllable, pleasant, and SO MANY puns can be made out of it. If I kept my maiden name, any children would probably have his last name. And I don't like the idea of not matching the rest of my chosen family. It's just so hard and my fiance is leaving the choice up to me but HE doesn't have to think about it!

The good news is you have time to think it over. You don’t have to change your name immediately upon marriage. I waited two months to change mine because we didn’t go on our honeymoon until then and I needed my passport for international travel. If you still aren’t sure after your wedding then I’d say just keep your name the way it is for now. You can always change it if you decide you want to later on. The important thing is that you make a choice that feels best for you.  

 

10 hours ago, Jinder Roles said:

Kind of surprised by all the people saying they want more common names for anonymity's sake. I have a common first and last name...it's so boring.  I secretly hope whoever I marry has an unusual last name (bonus points if it's a harsh German or hard to pronounce...I love names like that). I'll probably hyphenate if I get married. 

I love my maiden name, but not having people immediately know who I’m related to is nice. It’s also really nice not having people make assumptions about you based off your last name alone. I can’t even tell you how many times people in my hometown have mentioned they were surprised at how quiet or reserved or shy or etc. I am because the rest of my family isn’t exactly like that. It got pretty obnoxious constantly having people expect me to be a certain way based only off my last name.

(And to be clear, I know that’s such a first world problem and people in other ethnic groups absolutely have had it way worse when it comes to judgements and assumptions based off their names.)

3 minutes ago, mydoggoskeeper said:

I have both an unusual, but not unheard of first and last name.  That is to say, you probably have heard of both but don't know anyone personally with them.  The combination of both makes my name very unique and me easy to find/google.  

In an odd twist of fate, both my first and last names have become well known because of pop culture in the last few years.  My last name features on Game of Thrones and my first is the name of a singer, on a popular tv show, etc.   When I meet people, my name is almost always  remarked upon for these reasons.   Some people even ask me if I'm joking.   On the plus side, people can now pronounce my name correctly -- such a change from when I was younger and everyone always mangled it.  

I’m so hoping your last name is something like Targaryen now. 

[mydoggoskeeper]

2 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

 

I’m so hoping your last name is something like Targaryen now. 

 

Alas no, but it is one of the Great Houses.   I held a watch party for the season premiere and addressed it from "Doggo of House Great House, first of her name...."

Served lemon cakes, pot pies, and Dornish wine.  

Send a raven, naturally.  haha

[singsingsing]

1 hour ago, AprilQuilt said:

@albanuadh_1 out of interest, I went to have a look at my family tree as a  branch of my family have been in Quebec since the 1850s. All adamantly Scottish Presbyterian stock, but living on the Gaspé mostly, among francophone Catholics. Glancing at the censuses, in the early 20th and late 19th centuries both francophone and anglophone women were definitely taking their husband's name. My aunts (in their 40s-50s) and the women of my grandfather's generation (70s-90s now), still go by their maiden names, though, so if it's a legal change rather than a social one I'm guessing it's something that happened in the twentieth century?

I looked it up this morning. Apparently the law came into effect in 1981, which makes sense - the women I know who go by their husbands' surnames were all married before then. 

That said, in the Catholic Church records, women always went by their maiden names, which is an absolute dream for genealogists. 

Aaaand, hey - Gaspesian shoutout! Maybe we're related!  

[RainbowSky]

On 3/2/2018 at 12:45 PM, Honeypot said:

Has anyone else noticed the narrow and probably useless cabinets in Joy and Austin's fixer-upper kitchen?  I first saw them in Joy's video tour.  How can any dishes fit in those 8 inch wide cabinets?  There are a couple wider cabinets, but they are likely too high for Joy to reach.   I suppose Austin has never done much in the kitchen and didn't realize that nothing will fit in those skinny cabinets!
 

We put cups,  glasses and mugs in those.