Lori Alexander 38: Still Cooking "Healthy" Meals?

[lilwriter85]

8 hours ago, Hisey said:

I think it really kills her to have a book on Amazon with such poor reviews. Remember, she wants attention--attention from media, and from Christian churches and groups who might ask her to talk. What can she point to as her cred? A failing book with negative review after negative review, along with some pretty damning pictures of her in immodest outfits, outfits that will surely cause men to stumble if they catch sight of her granny butt.

Despite myself, I feel sorta sorry for her because I think this book was  a big deal in her life. Her daughter did the flowery cover. It cost money to print. It was her first book, I'm sure it took time and effort to put together (even though the writing was from the blog). I don't think she was expecting such a negative backlash. And now she cannot point influential Christians towards the book, without giving them a long explanation (persecution! feminists!) about the negative reviews.

The problem is, Lori wants three things simultaneously:

a. to hold very negative, ugly, critical beliefs that she believes women should follow

b. to ignore those beliefs when it is convenient for her

c. get a lot of attention

These things are bound to clash and that is why her book is a failure. At least Debi Pearl (so sick I am defending this lady) . . . at least Debi Pearl actually dresses modestly, did not have a nanny, does not take 10 week vacations and most likely does not spend $15 on a pound of pasture raised butter. Debi is also not constantly thrusting herself in the public eye, trying to get attention for being something she really is not. I can't stand that child abuser/abuse apologist, but at least she is less of a hypocrite than Lori.

I also think Lori was hoping for some kind of speaking career at churches. Lori also shot herself in the foot when she had clashed with that pastor on Facebook. He said that he had considered asking Lori to speak at his church. It seemed that he finally saw how dangerous Lori's beliefs and teachings are and decided against it. He probably warned other pastor friends and churches about Lori.

I agree with you on Debi Pearl. It would be funny if Debi or some other well known fundie gave Lori a public smackdown. I've said this before, but I keep hoping that Lori's nanny goes public and exposes Lori's bullshit.

[Frog99]

If children are gifts, blessings from the Lord, why would I treat that gift in the manner suggested by Lori? 

I have two kids with strong wills/personalities. And it’s hard sometimes- but my approach as a parent is not to break that will. I want them to think for themselves, speak out against hatred and intolerance and against what is wrong. I want those strong personalities to become empathetic leaders and world changers. I do not want them to be yes people or sheeple. I believe that our approach is Biblical and that we are called to be social justice advocates. 

[lilwriter85]

5 minutes ago, Chocolatedefrauded said:

Another logic fail! Teaching your child to instantly obey their parents every wish will not teach them self control. It teaches them to be little robots! Do you really want children who can’t make a decision by themselves? A child who needs to run every decision by Mommy? 

And how does having a WORKING mother not teach children the value of work? Another logic fail! Kids see  their mothers hold down jobs and manage the household just fine. We bring in income, contribute to society & keep a clean home & take care of our families. I’m starting to think Lori & her ilk are intimidated by working women....

I thought this too. Yes, the logic fails. Children with working moms would see moms getting ready for work, they would hear moms talking about whatever their jobs entail, and in some cases kids would be visiting their moms at work.

Plenty of working moms teach their kids how to do household chores and many working moms actually make their kids get part-time jobs when they become teenagers. Lori has never said if her kids had part-time jobs in high school.

[littlemommy]

I have a strong willed daughter and I have wept more helpless tears over my frustration with her in the last 4 years than my cumulative tears from my entire life prior. There have been times I even wished I could break her will, because I felt like I was going to die from exhaustion from her endless scream-a-thons. Yes, I wished it, fleetingly. But I would never DO it. 

Because someday she won’t be a little girl. Someday she’ll be a grownup woman and I’ll want to be her friend, be on each other’s sides, because she’s going to be one of those assertive people that plows through everyone standing still and stagnant and gets shit DONE. We need people like her. Living through her childhood is challenging, but as she gets older we’ve been able to channel that aggressive drive. Whatever field she chooses to work in better watch out. There’s gonna be an Anna Revolution.

[Briefly]

3 minutes ago, littlemommy said:

I have a strong willed daughter and I have wept more helpless tears over my frustration with her in the last 4 years than my cumulative tears from my entire life prior. There have been times I even wished I could break her will, because I felt like I was going to die from exhaustion from her endless scream-a-thons. Yes, I wished it, fleetingly. But I would never DO it. 

Because someday she won’t be a little girl. Someday she’ll be a grownup woman and I’ll want to be her friend, be on each other’s sides, because she’s going to be one of those assertive people that plows through everyone standing still and stagnant and gets shit DONE. We need people like her. Living through her childhood is challenging, but as she gets older we’ve been able to channel that aggressive drive. Whatever field she chooses to work in better watch out. There’s gonna be an Anna Revolution.

I know exactly how you feel! My daughter is very strong-willed and there were times when it was impossible But then I realized that she is just like I was and I gained a new understanding of my mother. But my daughter got past that stage and now she is a responsible, hard-working adult and we are very close like friends, and I like that our relationship is that way now.

I agree with what someone said, I think Lori and women like her are intimidated by working women.

[Koala]

Lori:

Quote

They ate what I gave them: nourishing food. If they were “hungry” as children are continually saying, they could only have something simple like a piece of fruit or nothing at all until meal time. 

And what was served at mealtime?  Salad.

Ken:

Quote

Many nights Lori made her big salads which the kids loved, then they came running for daddy’s food that I cooked

I am coming to believe that Lori's kids were perpetually hungry, and that makes me very, very sad for them.
 

Spoiler

I would be tempted at this point, to repost some of what her two daughters have posted publicly about the struggles they've had with food over the years.  I am not going to, out of respect for them.  Lori, though?  She has no business giving anyone advice about how to feed their kids, and she certainly has no business encouraging them to shame them for their weight.

  

Oh dear god...the first comment:

Quote

I've been married 8 1/2 months and i am 32 weeks along in my first baby. Biblical guidance like this has been refreshing as I am growing in both roles. My husband and I have already agreed i will be a homemaker. Much fear and doubt has arisen during my pregnancy because of my own childhood and also God saving me from nearly 20 years of lesbianism and transgenderism. How beautiful is God's grace and mercy. I praise Him every day that He is King and that nothing is out of His sovereignty. I am a woman, a wife, and mother. Thank you for helping me!

Lord help us all.  That poor kid is coming to a mother who gets all of her advice from Lori Alexander.  Jesus above...

[Carol]

She says she gave them a piece of fruit.  What does that mean?  A slice of orange, a quarter of an apple, half a banana?  Most people say, "I gave them an orange, apple, banana.  I'm not a mother and I know kids need protein and go through growth spurts where they need more food than normal.

People here have talked about food insecurity.  I'll bet her kids suffered from that, too.

She was a mean motherfucker to her kids.  That and the beatings and the lack of love and affection tell of a woman who never should have had children...and has NO business giving out advice to young mothers.

[Fascinated]

Her post today is all we will ever need to understand what a monster Lori is.  People considered them to be strict parents?  Well, no shit. Food restrictions.  Toy restrictions.  Chores. Hard work. Independent thought strictly forbidden.  Fuck her. She’s a monster. Her kids must despise her. 

[Koala]

I honestly think Lori had kids because they were a ticket for her to stay home.  That's the only aspect of motherhood she seemed to like.  

When she writes about them, it's to say what an inconvenience they were for her, and describe ways she got out of caring for them.  She was totally content to let them cry for "hours a day".  It was her nanny who picked them up and held them. 

Same with marriage.  She made Ken's life a living hell, according to her own posts.

Lori 2015:

Quote

I asked Ken what his favorite thing about marriage was when I was such a difficult wife for many years. He responded,"The children since every time I was around you, you'd argue with me or complain about me." I was NO fun for him to be around. 

Lori's favorite part?  Being provided for.

Quote

my favorite thing about marriage was still security. I was still being protected and provided for. He provided a home for me and gave me children, everything I'd always dreamed of, yet I still treated him with contempt.

All in all, I think she'd have been very happy to have had someone write her a giant check every month.  I don't think she had any interest whatsoever in a husband or kids (beyond how they could serve her).

[usmcmom]

1 hour ago, littlemommy said:

I have a strong willed daughter and I have wept more helpless tears over my frustration with her in the last 4 years than my cumulative tears from my entire life prior. There have been times I even wished I could break her will, because I felt like I was going to die from exhaustion from her endless scream-a-thons. Yes, I wished it, fleetingly. But I would never DO it. 

Because someday she won’t be a little girl. Someday she’ll be a grownup woman and I’ll want to be her friend, be on each other’s sides, because she’s going to be one of those assertive people that plows through everyone standing still and stagnant and gets shit DONE. We need people like her. Living through her childhood is challenging, but as she gets older we’ve been able to channel that aggressive drive. Whatever field she chooses to work in better watch out. There’s gonna be an Anna Revolution.

You have just perfectly described my daughter and me. She was very strong willed also. I use to cry at night and ask my husbsnd "how can someone I love; someone I waited so long for, make me SO ANGRY?!? 

Yes, those personality traits have served her well. That strong will got her through nursing school and helped her to he a leader in her class. She is truly one of my best friends now. 

So, YES!  Hang in there.  Your daughter is going to be an amazing positve force in this world.  

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

4 hours ago, Frog99 said:

His affection might be borderline creepy but I also wonder if it’s an attempt to make up for Loris vileness towards her daughter or a way (not necessarily effective) to shield her or serve as a buffer.

Yes -- I've often thought this is the case.  I think Lori was absolutely horrible and vile to Alyssa growing up. One of the reasons she escaped home at 18 with the dance company.

As far as I can tell Ken was solidly behind Alyssa's career. Lori not so much, although I believe Lori was glad Alyssa was gone from home.  Cassi was/is so much easier for Lori to mold and control.

I've never read a peep from Lori about Alyssa coming for visits after she left home (pre-marriage).  

Adding:  Lori has often written admiringly about Voddie Baucham -- Mr Viper in a Diaper -- who believes parents should beat the sin out of their children, beginning as tiny babies.

Because children are born sinful and the only way to get rid of that sin is to beat the hell out of them  So there's that and her slavish fangirl love of Michael and Debi "Beat your Babies, Beat them Hard" Pearl.

We cannot say this enough -- Lori is a monster.

[luv2laugh]

25 minutes ago, Koala said:

I honestly think Lori had kids because they were a ticket for her to stay home.  That's the only aspect of motherhood she seemed to like.  

When she writes about them, it's to say what an inconvenience they were for her, and describe ways she got out of caring for them.  She was totally content to let them cry for "hours a day".  It was her nanny who picked them up and held them. 

Same with marriage.  She made Ken's life a living hell, according to her own posts.

Lori 2015:

Lori's favorite part?  Being provided for.

All in all, I think she'd have been very happy to have had someone write her a giant check every month.  I don't think she had any interest whatsoever in a husband or kids (beyond how they could serve her).

Lori is a princess and was never interested in working hard. It was her goal in life to be pampered. 

Lori has NO sympathy or emotions for others so of course she hated being a mother. She doesn’t have a nurturing bone in her body. 

[Pammy]

Captains Obvious says: Raising humans to live fully under the control of someone else is the EXACT OPPOSITE of raising them to have *self* control. What will they need for self control? Will power and deeply held personal values. The parents job is NOT to root around in their head and *break* their best tool!

[TeddyBonkers]

Commentor under her doodle yesterday:

Spoiler

OH SNAP, girl! You turn the sass right around on Lori! You can come sit by me!

[Sarah92]

Now that I've come away from being super conservative it worries my dad. We've had some arguments about it because he worries that I've begun to believe unbiblical things. But we get through it everytime. One of the best things he's told was "Sarah, never change" and "you're a Wonder Woman". Both were right after one of those intense discussions. My parents raised me to think for myself and to not just accept authority. I think sometimes they regret it when I question them but ultimately we have a great relationship. 

And I attend grad school with some working mothers. I intensely admire those women. How they manage being mothers, doing internships, classes, and working is beyond me. I just mange classes, part time work, and an internship. And they still spend time and love on their children.

[Demonfan]

Lori puts the word hungry in quotes "hungry" when describing how her children were " continually saying" they felt. This is to nullify what they were telling her, that they were hungry! I have 3 massive sons and they were not continually saying that they were hungry. Why? Because I gave them enough to eat! Kids get hungry, feed them ffs.

[Koala]

40 minutes ago, TeddyBonkers said:

Commentor under her doodle yesterday:

  Hide contents

OH SNAP, girl! You turn the sass right around on Lori! You can come sit by me!

I am so sick of Ken referring to Biblical examples as "exceptions".  

In any case, Lori deleted that comment.  Too bad.  The reader was just "speaking the truth in love".  I guess Lori just HATES God and His "ways".

[EowynW]

2 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Now that I've come away from being super conservative it worries my dad. We've had some arguments about it because he worries that I've begun to believe unbiblical things. But we get through it everytime. One of the best things he's told was "Sarah, never change" and "you're a Wonder Woman". Both were right after one of those intense discussions. My parents raised me to think for myself and to not just accept authority. I think sometimes they regret it when I question them but ultimately we have a great relationship. 

And I attend grad school with some working mothers. I intensely admire those women. How they manage being mothers, doing internships, classes, and working is beyond me. I just mange classes, part time work, and an internship. And they still spend time and love on their children.

I wish my parents were like that.   They worry, we argue, they still think and are so disappointed that we are backsliding and turning away from God's One True Way. You are extremely lucky with yours. Mr. EW & I pray constantly for both our fundie parents that they will eventually  grow out of their comfort zones and love & support us unconditionally, even though we are no longer fundies. 

[usmcmom]

Does anybody else think she is talking about Alyssa in this old post? If so, I do believe Alyssa has forgiven her mother. I don't, however, think, Lori has forgiven her child for being "difficult."  I think Lori has always resented Alyssa and always will.  It is one of the ugliest things, in my opinion, to see a mother have such jealousy and bitterness toward her own daughter.  So disgusting.  

http://lorialexander.blogspot.co.uk/2015/10/arguing-with-your-teenager.html#idc-container

[Frog99]

9 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

Does anybody else think she is talking about Alyssa in this old post? If so, I do believe Alyssa has forgiven her mother. I don't, however, think, Lori has forgiven her child for being "difficult."  I think Lori has always resented Alyssa and always will.  It is one of the ugliest things, in my opinion, to see a mother have such jealousy and bitterness toward her own daughter.  So disgusting.  

http://lorialexander.blogspot.co.uk/2015/10/arguing-with-your-teenager.html#idc-container

I agree that it’s likeky Alyssa that she was referring to, and if so, I’m glad Alyssa has forgiven. I think it’s an important part of healing. I don’t feel like there is a lot of depth to the post, sadly. And I don’t feel like Lori really meant any of what she said. 

I do think Alyssa keeps her distance- I’ve seen her grandparents and other family members in her instastories, but never Lori (aside from the birthday one). Ken went on vacation with she and her husband but Lori did not. 

I’m sure Alyssa has her own issues (we all do), but it appears that she is successful, has a loving and attentive husband, and a core group of friends that seem kind and supportive. I bet people are drawn to her- not because of her beauty (and she is quite lovely)- but because of her personality and genuineness. 

I don’t know why Lori wouldn’t be amazed by her. I’m amazed by my 8 year old son and 10 year old daughter and they are just beginning to change the world. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

This is just too great...

I was reading this article with Lori being far from my mind and noticed the mention of Dale Partridge.  Yup, its the same Dale Partridge that Lori was applauding the other week. But ha, probably no longer. He has a viral post that tells men they need to help with housework. 

https://www.workingmother.com/husbands-impassioned-plea-for-wives-to-get-more-rest-is-manifesto-we-all-need-right-now?src=SOC&dom=fb

 

[Fascinated]

I agree that this is about Alyssa. This post is to teach women not to argue with their teenagers but to support them with love and to pray for them, naturally. Sounds wonderful. I also agree that the whole post is utter bullshit. In the comments I think the veil is lifted. Lori:

Quote

 

Yes, it takes two to argue and since the mother is the adult, she is the one responsible for not arguing and not allowing her teenager to argue. Peace is a wonderful thing and a child who grows up in a peaceful home is blessed!

Here is her real solution.  That’s not true ‘peace’. That’s just stifling the kid. Lori is a monster. 

[Koala]

39 minutes ago, EowynW said:

I wish my parents were like that.   They sorry, we argue, they still think and are so disappointed that we are backsliding and turning away from God's One True Way. You are extremely lucky with yours. Mr. EW & I pray constantly for both our fundie parents that they will eventually  grow out of their comfort zones and love & support us unconditionally, even though we are no longer fundies. 

You hang in there.  I remember when my husband and I told our families we were Atheists, nearly 20 years ago.  It's hard, but in our case, it did get better/easier.  

Here's the main thing that worked for us- For a long time we tried to debate/discuss/explain ourselves.  Then one day we realized we didn't owe anyone an explanation.  We weren't doing anything wrong, and as individuals (and adults) we had every right to have our own opinions, values, and belief system.  We were NOT vessels to carry their beliefs into the next generation, and there was NO REASON to let them treat us as such.

We did not bend to their belief system in any way.  We acknowledged it as theirs, had NO PROBLEM with them living out their faith as they saw fit, but absolutely refused to participate/let it influence our actions.

Were there HUGE blow ups over the years?  Yep.  One Thanksgiving they gathered to pray before lunch.  We always just stood quietly (eyes open) until it was over.  Anyway, I got that weird feeling you get when someone is staring at you, and looked up to see MIL literally glaring our way.  It was awful, and this was years after they knew we were Atheists.  Know where we spent Thanksgiving the next year?  Home.  

Like I said, it has gotten better, but we saved ourselves a lot of trouble by not being the kind of people you intimidate.  Otherwise, MIL would have run roughshod over us.

[SuperNova]

Lori has moved from peachy teaching to downright mean. I don't even believe she was as harsh as she says she was. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say she was only a hard ass when she had to be, meaning when the kids interrupted her quiet time or when she took it in her head to control food. She's too damn lazy to have done everything that she's preaching. 

I've mentioned before that personally I like a little mischief in children. Not naughtiness but the mischievous silly things kids do that gives them a little spunk. And as far as I'm concerned, the best way to teach self control is to allow kids to explore boundaries through consequence when possible. For example, when my daughter was in first grade I would tell her to put on her coat. She would gripe about it every day. One morning she yelled, I don't want to. So I said fine but you'll be cold and you might get sick. She came home later miserable because she was cold all day and lo and behold she woke up sick the next day. Probably a coincidence but it served a lesson that I couldn't teach. I never had to fight about the coat again. She's a grown woman and still brings it up occasionally. 

[Imrlgoddess]

I don't discuss religion with my family. In laws or my own. When I left the Catholic Church, I simply stopped going to mass with them. If there are talks that come up, I give a simple .02 & stop or conveniently leave the room. If they pray, I bow my head & go through the motions. This past weekend I attended a funeral with my husband, he got lost during the rosary so I helped him count & pray the decades. His family has no idea that I'm not Christian & if I have my way they won't know. 

WRT Lori, Debbie Pearl & butter....DP probably makes her own! Lori would fall out trying. I firmly believe they all have a mental condition that causes them to need that level of control  (dominance) over another human. That's why they're all so hung up on sex & submission... they never talk about love, only control. They feel as though they have zero control in their own life so they have to control someone else's.