Send Scamvangelist Paula Jones Your Paycheck or Else!

[Howl]

It's hard to set up a more overtly brazen, utterly shameless money grab, but Paula Jones has done it.  She deserves AT LEAST one month of your pay, and if you dare hold back, who knows what God will do to you (see below).  We don't often discuss prosperity gospel on FJ, although Skinny Jesus Gwen Shamblin falls into this category, but Paula Jones is right up there with Joel Osteen, Rick Warren, T.D. Jakes, Creflo Dollar and other prosperity gospel mega evangelscammers. 

Paula is a Trump spiritual adviser (prosperity gospel, DUH!) and selflessly needs your "seed money" to save you from yourself, because if you don't, maybe God will punish you and who the hell wants to take a chance with smiting, slaughter, boils, losing your first born, turning into a pillar of salt, plagues and so forth, when you can just send your hard-earned $$ to Paula, and be showered in riches, m'kay?   Seriously, it's just that easy!

From HuffPo: 

Spoiler

Trump Spiritual Advisor Wants You To Send Her Up To 1 Month’s Pay Or Face ‘Consequences’:  Paula White claims this “seed” money will lead to wealth.

Paula White, a prosperity gospel preacher with close ties to President Donald Trump, is calling on followers to send her donations of up to one month’s salary. Those who don’t pay up could face “consequences” from God as he demands the dough as a “first fruits” offering.

“The reason is God lays claim to all firsts,” White wrote on her website. “So when you keep for yourself something that belongs to God you are desecrating what is to be consecrated to God.”  In this case, the “firsts” are money, which “supernaturally unlocks amazing opportunity, blessing, favor and divine order for your life.”

White, who is chairwoman of Trump’s evangelical advisory committee, claims she contributes a month’s pay every year as a “seed,” which according to prosperity gospel is supposed to grow into riches and other blessings. She’s also calling on others to contribute their own firsts, in the form of wages for a day, week or entire month: 

“When you honor this principle it provides the foundation and structure for God’s blessings and promises in your life, it unlocks deep dimensions of spiritual truths that literally transform your life! When you apply this everything comes in divine alignment for His plan and promises for you. When you don’t honor it, whether through ignorance or direct disobedience there are consequences.”

While White said these firsts “belong to God and God alone,” she wants them sent to her in the form of offerings to her ministries. 

White delivered a prayer at Trump’s inauguration, where she called on God to give the president “the confidence to lead us in justice and righteousness, and the compassion to yield to our better angels.”

 

[December]

Sigh. Is it bad if nothing about this surprises me? 

[CancerBomb]

Can someone tell this lady that I'm broke from buying Jill Rodriguez her baby shower gift? But seriously, this is some of the craziest bullshit I've ever seen. I would not invest in Trump due to his bankruptcy record.  This woman is psychotic and getting away with it as she is on the side of Trump. 

[CTRLZero]

I bet Trump, Pence & Co. are lining up to fork over their paychecks with the rest of the sheeple.  Yeah.  Uh huh.

[Cartmann99]

If you give Paula White money, she's just going to spend it on bad plastic surgery. 

[47of74]

God save us from your grifter Reich wing Trump Humpers who do this crap supposedly in yer name.

[Elegant Mess]

She's probably the same type of person who demands a guy adhere to the three-months salary rule for engagement rings.

Uhm, Paula, just ask John Oliver what happens when you ask your followers to sew a seed of faith!  

[FloraKitty35]

If I didn't have to pay postage to do so I'd gladly send her "trump tokens" and by "trump tokens" I am referring to cat turds, specifically the one that Junior leaves outside the litter box. 

[Howl]

13 hours ago, Elegant Mess said:

Uhm, Paula, just ask John Oliver what happens when you ask your followers to sew a seed of faith!  

Ooooh, will you post the link?

[Elegant Mess]

4 hours ago, Howl said:

Ooooh, will you post the link?

Heads' up - The link below is NSFW!

Backstory:  John Oliver did three segments on televangelists and seed faith.  During the original segment, he described how easy it was to set up his own church, entitled Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption, and asked his audience to sow a seed of faith by sending him money.  In these segments, Megareverend John Oliver is joined by his wife, Wanda Jo, played by Rachel Dratch.

Several weeks later, he had to shut down the church.  In this clip, he explains why:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vwkqh3lCgvw

[Briefly]

Um, no. I tithe to my church and we donate to places as we can.  But I don't think she's on our list!  She's nuts.

[Black Aliss]

Wait. Paula Jones? THE Paula Jones? Or Paula White? I'm so confused. . . .

[Howl]

7 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

Wait. Paula Jones? THE Paula Jones? Or Paula White? I'm so confused. . . .

Don't be.  I was in error, and slipped a gear. It is indeed Paul White!