Counting on Season 4- Part 4: Duggar Time or Watching Paint Dry

[SquirrelySquirrel]

Does anyone know the time lapse from when they moved in to when they got the shelves? I didn't get why they'd waste the time and energy to set them up just to take them all out again. Especially that one they couldn't manage to get out. Reynaldo to the rescue! 

Poor Ben. I'm another who just doesn't get the Jessa love. I don't think she's any better or worse than the others and the video game comment was mean. Ben seems like a deer in headlights to me most of the time, like he can't figure out how he ended up where he is and the reality of being responsible for a wife and 2 babies isn't nearly as fun at his young age and it seemed it would be. 

He's going to get sick of being constantly bossed around by his wife at some point. Just as Joy is going to get sick of it with Austin. I've never understood the point of marrying someone you think you have to micromanage through life. 

We have all the family friendly Nintendo (we still love our Wii) stuff in the family room, and play together quite a bit in the colder months. My husband has the Xbox in the bedroom. He's the first in bed due to his work schedule though, so it's not like he plays all night. And no one made him do that. I've told him several times to bring it out to the big tv but he knows we don't give a toss about his racing games. I think Ben would be just as considerate.

[Ivycoveredtower]

11 minutes ago, SquirrelySquirrel said:

Does anyone know the time lapse from when they moved in to when they got the shelves? I didn't get why they'd waste the time and energy to set them up just to take them all out again. Especially that one they couldn't manage to get out. Reynaldo to the rescue! 

 

lets see if they shot all the parts that are in the episdoes around the same time then JInger and Jeremy seemed to move into their house either right before the Joy/Austin wedding or sometime right after they got back from their honeymoon.  

it would be around July in the last episode since Joe and Kendra say there is a little over  a month until the wedding. so I would guess Jinjer had been living in the house anywhere from a month to two months 

[zygote373]

In a close call, Rufus is spared by the bookshelf. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

2 minutes ago, zygote373 said:

In a close call, Rufus is spared by the bookshelf. 

that must be the deer she hit on the way to Spurgon's birth which I forgot about and wondered about the deer head until I just remember that weird story. 

[calimojo]

One thing that I noticed is that in the episode last week, when Jinger's family were in Laredo helping to move, and decorate, Jinger seemed stressed, but in episodes when it is just she and Jeremy, she seems much more relaxed.  Now obviously, moving is a stressful time for everyone, so that could be it, but I just think she is thriving and happier away from the mayhem and the many opinions of her older sisters. 

It feels to me like Jinger and Jeremy are pretty genuinely happy.  Not saying this because I am a fan of Jeremy's in the least, but I have no criticism for him re: the book obsession.  It is downright refreshing to have someone in this mob who at least seems to value the written word.  I don't think Jeremy is near as intellectual as he thinks he is, but I am not going to fault or criticize any man, woman or child who has a love for books.  And, of course that story line was likely played up by the producers. 

 

 

[BlondeIdol]

I finally got around to watching the new episodes this morning and this show is so boring. Not joking. Even with my coffee and even later while working out, I kept yawning. Jessa and Ben rambling on about Spurgeon's hair was particularly mind numbing. 

As far other observations go, Kendra is much more pleasant to watch compared to Jill. Kendra is definitely young and as far as being on the show goes she is not used to the camera. Not yet anyway she's getting better at it. I think Paul Caldwell enjoys and encourages the exposure the show has given to him, his daughter and the rest of the family as well. 

Jinger and Jeremy seem happy. Jeremy can be obnoxious but at least he reads. I guess. 

Joy and Austin is Switzerland could have been a lot more exciting. They both seemed very out of their element. Which is understandable seeing how they're in a foreign country where they don't speak the language. 

 

[SamuraiKatz]

Something about Kendra is very pleasant to me in contrast. I don't know what it is, but I find her less I don't know what than her sister in laws. The word soothing keeps coming to mind but I'm not sure it's the right way to articulate it. Maybe it is. Duggars just give off this pent up energy vibe to me and she seems more relaxed or natural or something. 

Could the difference be Kendra hasn't been constantly in the public eye for the last 16 or so years. And maybe Kendra's parents were late to the gothard koolaid party?

[AtlanticTug]

Honestly I think that Kendra is so young and "uncooked" that I'd describe her like tofu - bland and tasteless but can be made to taste like anything you want if you just marinate it the right way. That's why she is very pleasant and the ideal bride for this family. Not unlike Anna was. Easy personalities without many personal interests or quirks, happy to go whichever way the wind blows them.

[MargaretElliott]

On 3/6/2018 at 9:46 AM, bananabread said:

I usually think this, but I was so annoyed when she told Ben to "grow up" or whatever over his video games.

Oh man, I would have been annoyed too. Let the guy have his own interests independent of his wife/family, for fuck's sake. Also, my boyfriend is almost 30, and an avid gamer... I'm only a few years younger, and an avid gamer... One of my best friends who's 40 is an avid gamer... hobbies have no age limit. It's an interest, like reading or movies or pottery or gardening or whatever. It's not just for teenage boys, there have been some truly beautiful games with engaging stories produced recently (Witcher III: The Wild Hunt, anyone? I cried like a damn baby at the end of the Bloody Baron quests) It just really grinds my gears when people in a relationship decide that one person can't pursue a hobby because they other person doesn't like it. You're two different people. You can like different things. you don't have to spend every second of your relationship doing interesting things together that you both like. That would be suffocating for most people.

The only time you're obligated to put the video games away is if they're negatively impacting your relationship, or your ability to parent your kids. I have no idea if Ben fell into either of these categories, but I hope he did what was best for him by putting away the games, instead of being forced into giving up a hobby he enjoyed for the sake of image.

[melon]

Have you noticed,or is it me..that there are some people who look down on guys...I did not have any girls,playing video games,especially as an adult?Once a co worker asked if my son,who still works where I worked,played video games,which he does occasionally.Then this co worker and the other guy laughed.I have Resting Bitch Face,I may not always speak my mind,but my face will.WTF.That's the look they got,too.If a grown man lives at home...it assumed he's a loser.Add video games to the loser status.My son used to bring his ex over with one of her sons and they'd go play video games upstairs.He also once sold one his gaming systems to pay one of HER bills.

 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

I finally watched this week’s episode. A few weeks ago, I posted that I had driven past Jessa and Ben’s house while I was in Arkansas last year, and I think it’s funny that the show introduces scenes at their house with a shot of a nearby cow pasture, instead of the interstate highway that’s right next to the house. In this episode, there were the cows - and then there was the highway! Coincidence?

[scoutsadie]

On 3/7/2018 at 10:48 PM, Ivycoveredtower said:

that must be the deer she hit on the way to Spurgon's birth which I forgot about and wondered about the deer head until I just remember that weird story. 

Take a look in the reaction options - he's down there, too ("Rufus Bless") - right near the "Move On" dead parrot/moving sludge/steam engine, ha ha.  (I forget which thread but there was a whole drift about the reactions last week, and most of us had no idea what the "Move On" one was, because of middle-aged eyesight and/or always viewing FJ on our tiny phone screens...but yeah, Rufus is always with us.)   [and yet I don't think he's in the emoticon library, or I would insert him here...]

[December]

8 hours ago, melon said:

Have you noticed,or is it me..that there are some people who look down on guys...I did not have any girls,playing video games,especially as an adult?

Yeah, there are definitely people out there who look down on adults who game (not just guys). I find it really weird. How's it any different from continuing to do other fun activities that someone did when they were younger, like playing basketball or watching TV? Obviously, if someone's gaming starts to affect their work, relationships, etc. it's a problem... but so is any other overdone hobby.

[PainfullyAware]

I'm going off of my younger brother who personally felt that gaming had a quality about it that negatively interacted with his social anxiety. The exiting, competitive, escapism is really hard for him to resist when his anxiety is high, but leads to procrastinating and isolating himself, and worse anxiety. He dropped out of school but now is back part time but my parents still kill the wifi sometimes so he can't play. My guess is examples like that lead people like my parents to blame the video games and to stereotype everyone who plays as being at risk.

I totally get lots of people balance gaming with a well rounded and productive life. Avatar based games can even help with social anxiety, to a point. On the other hand it seems that binge watching, gaming and social media use is linked to higher rates of stress and anxiety. The post millenial generation is at an all time high for stress and anxiety and the major difference compared to previous generations is technology deliberately made to be addictive. I get that people, like me, with anxiety may be more likely to use those technologies but it also seems frequently using them can exacerbate those feelings.

I think it's an important topic because how we integrate these technologies socially will determine a lot about the next generations. Playing video games should be seen as a valid and fun hobby for anyone to enjoy, but with risks if it's not moderated for some people. Gambling is coming to mind as a comparison but I'm not sure that's the best example?

[Crazy Enough to Join]

On 3/6/2018 at 7:46 AM, bananabread said:

I usually think this, but I was so annoyed when she told Ben to "grow up" or whatever over his video games. The guy got married at like 19!!! He had two kids in two years!!!!!!!!!! He seems to be a super hands-on and patient husband and father!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't the poor guy enjoy video games once in a while?? I mean come on, fundies have so few fun activities in life.

Maybe Jessa was joking and isn't really that harsh. I hope so.

I wonder if Jessa actually respects Ben? He's so laid back and it sounds like JB is paying their bills (and keeping the control...volunteer reality stars). Jessa paints an awesome social media presence (does she have to in order to get JB to pay the bills?), but I wonder if she sees Ben's sweet ways as weak and her dad's controlling ways as strong.

[feministxtian]

I watched all three episodes today. I think Jessa and Ben have the most "normal" relationship. They seem to do a lot of joking around with each other, including occasional slams. Sounds like me and my other half. Love him to pieces, respect him to the moon, but I'll cut him at the knees in a minute just because I can. I tell my other half to "grow up" regularly and he's 55! Something about riding grocery carts in the store parking lot, buying kid cereal, yelling at the cats to do or not do something (he has yet to figure out they DGAF), among other things. 

Joy and Austin give me the creeps. There's something kind of disturbing about him. Maybe it's just that he's so serious. Jinger and Jeremy...well...I think he's kind of conceited, but when they were playing tennis he seemed to really want to cheer her on...he kept telling her how great she was doing. I also think she was cute as hell in that tennis dress. 

In my defense...I was in a shitty mood...one trip to the grocery store and I've been regretting it since about noon PST. My back is SCREAMING even though I kept pushing and pushing...cleaned the kitchen and did my hair. Now, I'd cut a bitch for some percocet 

[JillRodsEyeliner]

On 3/7/2018 at 8:46 PM, zygote373 said:

In a close call, Rufus is spared by the bookshelf. 

What is all this Rufus talk about?

[Ivycoveredtower]

to the Jessa Ben and video game comment. first off I am surprised the Ben was allowed Video games growing up. I mean he seemed so thrilled with the all the Duggar water toys and said they only occasonally got water guns and water bollons growing up so a Video game yeah not expecting that. 

secondly part of it yes I think of is Jessa liking control. can't forget don't mess with Jess but also the fact that she never had that stuff very little TV/computer time. everything monitored raising babies since she was little more then a baby herself so to her Ben whining about putting his video games in the Closet probably does sound very juvenile.  

Ben does seem to be a very hands on dad and it's crazy to think he's the youngest male in law. I think Jessa really did get a winner as much as you can win in Fundyland anyway. 

[DillyDally]

Honestly, all this talking about how wedding preparations are SO HARD Y'ALL and you only realise that when it's your own wedding. YAWN. JoKen are a sweet couple, but they can't hold this show up forever. Maybe Lauren has a bit more spunk, but she won't make an appearance until next season, I guess. 

Jeremy's pseudo intellectual attitude made me quite mad. We get it, you need all those books around you to feel smart, and Jinger to admire your intellect. That office looked a bit ridiculous to me, with the dark wood and all those shelves closing in on you. Jeremy's an academic as much as Jana is a concert pianist, imo. 

To end on a positive note, I loved Spurgeon being in the TH towards the end.  He's more entertaining than the rest of them together. 

[HarleyQuinn]

2 hours ago, DillyDally said:

 

Jeremy's pseudo intellectual attitude made me quite mad. We get it, you need all those books around you to feel smart, and Jinger to admire your intellect.

This is Jeremy in a nutshell. I'm glad he enjoys reading, it's a nice hobby, but just because you like to read more than another person doesn't make you smarter than them. He tries soooooo hard.  

[Mayluka]

7 hours ago, JillRodsEyeliner said:

What is all this Rufus talk about?

Here’s a link to the FAQs about Rufus:  http://www.freejinger.org/faq/2-free-jinger-culture/#elQuestion-130

[JillRodsEyeliner]

6 hours ago, Mayluka said:

Here’s a link to the FAQs about Rufus:  http://www.freejinger.org/faq/2-free-jinger-culture/#elQuestion-130

RIP Rufus!

[libgirl2]

15 hours ago, feministxtian said:

I watched all three episodes today. I think Jessa and Ben have the most "normal" relationship. They seem to do a lot of joking around with each other, including occasional slams. Sounds like me and my other half. Love him to pieces, respect him to the moon, but I'll cut him at the knees in a minute just because I can. I tell my other half to "grow up" regularly and he's 55! Something about riding grocery carts in the store parking lot, buying kid cereal, yelling at the cats to do or not do something (he has yet to figure out they DGAF), among other things. 

Joy and Austin give me the creeps. There's something kind of disturbing about him. Maybe it's just that he's so serious. Jinger and Jeremy...well...I think he's kind of conceited, but when they were playing tennis he seemed to really want to cheer her on...he kept telling her how great she was doing. I also think she was cute as hell in that tennis dress. 

In my defense...I was in a shitty mood...one trip to the grocery store and I've been regretting it since about noon PST. My back is SCREAMING even though I kept pushing and pushing...cleaned the kitchen and did my hair. Now, I'd cut a bitch for some percocet 

I noticed that Jessa doesn't seem to give Ben that "adoring" look that we see from so many of the wives.

 

[Ivycoveredtower]

7 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

I noticed that Jessa doesn't seem to give Ben that "adoring" look that we see from so many of the wives.

 

I don't see Jessa giving anyone adoring eyes she'd be more likely to roll her eyes at been then giving him the eyes. Jessa seems to be a strong personality and luckily the Duggar's were not able to break her of that. also I have to applaud her for being in a courtship for almost a year before the engagement. even if it wasn't by choice (not really sure) at least she had more time to get to know Ben then her other siblings got to know their spouses. 

 

Ben seems to revolve around Jessa not the other way around. in the other relationships the girls moved for the guys or did what the guys wanted Ben moved for Jessa. 

[feministxtian]

29 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

I noticed that Jessa doesn't seem to give Ben that "adoring" look that we see from so many of the wives.

 

I noticed that too...but she'll look at him and smile. It seems that instead of that simpering "adoring" look, she is more real about her husband. Let's face it folks...they can drive us right 'round the bend. I forget where I read it, but they both admitted to having some pretty loud fights. Somehow I don't see the other married girls having that sort of relationship. They couldn't break Jessa...she just played along until she got what she wanted...and I think she's still playing the game just to get what she wants.