Counting on Season 4- Part 4: Duggar Time or Watching Paint Dry

[Firebird]

I admit I get on my husband's case about video games, but my perception is that he is unable to control his time with them. If he starts playing he will play for hours on end.  I can understand binging once in a while, but it frustrates me when he has no control. I binge on Netflix, but at least I can have that playing while I do the dishes or laundry.

[TheMustardCardigan]

I see Jessa as playing the game to get what she wants, too. By toeing the line she's gotten a pretty sweet deal. She lives in a house provided by her family. Her husband is in school and maybe does chores for Jim Bob. She doesn't have to go to work each day and leave her children under the care of someone else. This would all not be possible without her playing along with her family. And now given the disaster going on at Casa del Dillard I bet she has a more vivid idea of the consequences she'd face for causing a ruckus. I think Jessa is more sly and manipulative and knows how to create some semblance of her own freedom in little ways that her parents don't see (if she and Ben have had screaming fights, I think she has more power in her marriage than she was raised to expect and more power than any of her sisters have in their marriages).  She knows not to bite the hand that feeds her, like Derick has been doing.

[Ivycoveredtower]

1 minute ago, TheMustardCardigan said:

I see Jessa as playing the game to get what she wants, too. By toeing the line she's gotten a pretty sweet deal. She lives in a house provided by her family. Her husband is in school and maybe does chores for Jim Bob. She doesn't have to go to work each day and leave her children under the care of someone else. This would all not be possible without her playing along with her family. And now given the disaster going on at Casa del Dillard I bet she has a more vivid idea of the consequences she'd face for causing a ruckus. I think Jessa is more sly and manipulative and knows how to create some semblance of her own freedom in little ways that her parents don't see (if she and Ben have had screaming fights, I think she has more power in her marriage than she was raised to expect and more power than any of her sisters have in their marriages).  She knows not to bite the hand that feeds her, like Derick has been doing.

Plus Ben helps with Diapers honestly I don't see the other husbands doing much of that. 

okay so TLC put up this clip Jer and JIng have some friends over it's very boring they get questioned if there will be any additions which is just odd to watch knowing just a few months after this was taped JInger did end up pregnant. 

https://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/counting-on/videos/jinger-and-jeremys-next-steps

[TheMustardCardigan]

I think it has worked to Jessa's advantage that Ben is younger than her, that and he seems to be easygoing... I feel like in some ways he's Jessa's replacement for Jinger who seemed kind of like her sidekick when they were growing up.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

23 hours ago, scoutsadie said:

...but yeah, Rufus is always with us.)   [and yet I don't think he's in the emoticon library, or I would insert him here...]

There don't seem to be any deer in our emoticons, but if you search "moose", you get these 2 options:

   

The second one is pretty close to a deer. (The first one reminds me of Bullwinkle.  )

[Daisy0322]

The video game/ grow up incident didn't seem like that big a deal to me, I figured she was kidding mostly and I was glad to see her being comfortable with her husband. I think Jessa knew exactly what she was doing marrying Ben. She got to mold him more then jinger ever could Jeremy, have more opinions than Joy ever could with Austin, and habecway more power and choices than Jill can with derek.

[TheMustardCardigan]

Yeah, I think Jessa's been able to mold him and have more of a voice in her relationship than the other girls in their marriages. The only trade off is that because he is young and doesn't have an established career she has to play by her parents' rules more. The Seewalds can't just say "Screw you, Jim Bob!" because he's completely responsible for maintaining their lifestyle at this point. Maybe that's why we haven't seen her in pants yet on Instagram but we have seen Jill and Jinger in pants?

 

Jinger has more leeway in dealing with the parents because I guess she and Jeremy are self sufficient. She gets to live far away in Texas and she can wear pants and explore other fashion she couldn't have before. Jeremy seems to have a different vision for Jinger than the Duggar vision for their daughters, although I still think his views are JUST as putrid as the Duggars'. He just comes in shinier packaging. But in exchange for not having to deal with rules from her parents anymore, Jinger has to fall in line with what Jeremy wants. I don't see her as having a lot of power in this relationship. She appears to have a  more passive personality. He's older than her by a fair amount and more experienced in the world so he has a lot of control over how she experiences and perceives all kinds of new experiences.

 

Jill had the opportunity to have a more Jinger and Jeremy type of experience... Derick looked like he was going to be self sufficient, he had a college degree and was an accountant! They could have even found independence with the foreign ministry thing just because the Duggars couldn't have had them under JB's thumb while living in Central America. but Jill seemed to hate it (and I don't blame her) so they couldn't fully commit. Derick doesn't seem to want to be under Duggar control but he also doesn't seem to want to do what he needs to do to be self sufficient. So right now they're just kind of flailing and Jill probably feels torn between her family and her husband.

[JillyO]

On 7.3.2018 at 11:34 AM, nst said:

I also have a hard time with Jeremy and call him out = yet I get down voted. Just because I don't like how controlling or he manipulates everything around him....at least Ben hides it to a degree

I know your post is a few days old, but since no one else replied and I think this is important, I'll do it: You didn't get downvoted because you called Jeremy out or because you find his behavior controlling and manipulative. You got downvoted because you said the following:

On 5.3.2018 at 6:03 PM, nst said:

Jeremy is such a girl

I hope I don't have to explain why it is extremely harmful for girls and women to call boys or men "girls" because you dislike their behavior.

[Beermeet]

On 3/9/2018 at 9:21 AM, melon said:

Have you noticed,or is it me..that there are some people who look down on guys...I did not have any girls,playing video games,especially as an adult?Once a co worker asked if my son,who still works where I worked,played video games,which he does occasionally.Then this co worker and the other guy laughed.I have Resting Bitch Face,I may not always speak my mind,but my face will.WTF.That's the look they got,too.If a grown man lives at home...it assumed he's a loser.Add video games to the loser status.My son used to bring his ex over with one of her sons and they'd go play video games upstairs.He also once sold one his gaming systems to pay one of HER bills.

 

I'm a gamer.  Well, I used to be more of a gamer until kids.  Just don't have time.  My youngest took interest in Zelda ( my fav) and we've been playing recently,  together.  I had to teach her ( at 11!) how to play such a game.  She was used to Cooking Mama and Mindcraft.  Cool and all, but no Zelda!  We've been having so much fun!  Learning the importance of YouTube walk throughs. Lol!   My son is a gamer and an A student, it's all good with us!  I know some spend too much time gaming.  However, for instance,  my family games a couple hours a day but we don't watch TV much.  My kids don't like TV, it kinda weird.  We didn't do much at all to encourage that.  They just don't.  IDK?!  We are all avid readers too.  So, game on, I say!  I can't wait until my daughter wants to play Resident Evil!  

[Beermeet]

On 3/6/2018 at 12:29 PM, 2manyKidzzz said:

I have never understood why Jeremy is a pastor in Laredo, Texas, on the border with Mexico and does not speak Spanish. I mean, what?

Agree!  Just living in SoCal, there are jobs I can't get/perform my best due to my lack of fluent spanish.  However, this may be a good thing!  Jeremy cannot *get* to many spanish speaking folks that way.  The Mexicans are rich in culture and faith.  Not fans of abortion mostly.  So, leave them be Jeremy!  If anything, they could teach us how to do unconditional love for family and faith!  I love my Mexican peeps, helped enrich my soul.  For real.  

[Tangy Bee]

Laughing out loud. I know several dudes in their early 30's who still play video games. They still manage to work and pay bills like most adults. My sister's bf plays them everyday after work. Not a big deal to me and probably not a big deal to Jessa since Ben appears to be a good dad.  Just a very "young" dad. Assuming the Duggar kids didn't play video games.

[JordynDarby5]

My brother has played video games all his life. Now he and my nephew play them together. And sometimes fight over them.   

[TheMustardCardigan]

My parents were relatively young when they had me, not as young as the Duggar daughters, but my dad was still in medical school when I was born. My dad liked video games all his life but played them less when he got older... But when he was young and I was an infant/toddler, there are photos of me in the playpen watching my dad play SNES and photos of him playing the game with the playpen turned upside down over him sitting on the floor to keep me out once I learned how to escape the playpen I guess  We played games together a lot and my dad was the one who introduced video games to me. Now that he has passed I still feel it is kind of a connection to him.

 

I don't have much time to play anymore but I can still surprise people at house parties by being unexpectedly good at Mario Kart/Smash Bros. Before I started working, my brother got a Nintendo Switch over at my mom's house and I got pretty obsessed with Mario Kart and Mario Odyssey for a few days around Christmas. 

 

 

[melon]

I used to play video games,too.I haven't in a long time.I started with Atari.Then ,would play with my sons.I loved Galaga.That was my favorite game!

 

[SapphireSlytherin]

I loved Galaga!!! And Gyruss too.

[dawbs]

My child begged for Horizon, zero dawn for CHristmas...so she can watch the Mr. play it (and make sure he doesn't kill any bunnies).  
It's amazing how family they can be, if you want them to be.  I think she asks the Mr. to play the game more often than he'd play w/o her.
WHich reminds me that I was playing 'child of light' with her and should get back to that one in some free time.

[nvmbr02]

My husband plays video games. He is almost 40, holds a full time job, coaches youth baseball year round and is an adjunct professor at a local college. He doesn't play nearly as much as he did when we were dating/first married but he does play most evenings for an hour or two depending on what else we have going on. When the kids were all little he generally played on when they were in bed or if I was doing something with them and he was home alone. Now he games with our 14 year old daughter and 12 year old son. Occasionally our 8 year old daughter will want to play something too, so they will play some Mario Kart or something.

Video games can absolutely be a problem for some people who become addicted to them and are unable to function with daily life but IMO that can happen with all sorts of activities. 

[SamuraiKatz]

I used to play video games,too.I haven't in a long time.I started with Atari.Then ,would play with my sons.I loved Galaga.That was my favorite game!
 

I loved River Raid, Galaga and Frogger.

[Cheetah]

I play Pokemon Go, and most of us who are active locally are middle-aged or even older.  There are a couple of Chinese grandpas who play locally... it's a great way for folks to stay active and get out of the house.

[L1o2u3]

I discovered video games through my boyfriend  Now I play Battlefield 1, PUBG and Fortnite on Xbox. Though most people find that odd because I am rather girly otherwise. 

[libgirl2]

My husband recently bought one of those throw back video game systems and spent his day off playing games. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

On ‎3‎/‎9‎/‎2018 at 11:18 PM, feministxtian said:

Joy and Austin give me the creeps. There's something kind of disturbing about him. Maybe it's just that he's so serious.  

I don't get this vibe from him, I was happy to see Joy telling him what she likes and didn't like and what she wanted to do in the house instead of just saying "what do you think Austin?" I know so many guys like him, simple country boys who are uncomfortable around people they don't know but are fun loving goofy people around friends and family.  He, like his dad seem to have 2 personalities, their "public" serious side and their private goofy side.  Pictures of them at Fort Rock Camp, and pics of Austin with his "buddies" are so different than when he's on TV.  He's very relaxed and playful when he's with his friends, but becomes serious and stuff when he's in an unfamiliar situation.  He was wanting to get the house done for Joy because it is important to him to provide a good life for her, Its his job to take care of her, and her job to take care of him. Some people are put off by this mind set, but I think it can go a long way in a successful marriage, taking care of each other it goes both ways I can see that in Austin, Ben, Joe and Jeremy, I however do NOT see this in Derelict, Josh and Jim Bob. those assholes are all about themselves.

[singsingsing]

So Week 1 was Joy's baby announcement.

Week 2 was Josiah's engagement announcement.

Are we going to get another announcement today (especially in light of Derick's Twitter rampage)? Jessa pregnancy, Jinger "gender" reveal, Jana ran away to enroll in university out of state and take Women & Gender Studies?

[MsSaylor]

I think if there was going to be news today we would have it by now? I was expecting something though especially with Derick’s recent shit storm.

[Cheetah]

6 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

So Week 1 was Joy's baby announcement.

Week 2 was Josiah's engagement announcement.

Are we going to get another announcement today (especially in light of Derick's Twitter rampage)? Jessa pregnancy, Jinger "gender" reveal, Jana ran away to enroll in university out of state and take Women & Gender Studies?

I was expecting the JinJer sex reveal, but yeah like @MsSaylor said it probably would have happened already.