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Counting on Season 4- Part 4: Duggar Time or Watching Paint Dry


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Rufus bless. 

So, it appears (yet again) that I will be occupied during the regularly scheduled Counting Bullshit airing.  To make up for that I'm posting the recap in its entirety below.  I will put it behind a sp

Joy making a point of saying that they will accept all the kids that the Lord gives them because " he won't give us more than we can handle ". Keep telling yourself that girl. 5 yrs and 4 kids from no

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Carm_88

Ben holding Henry for the first time was such a real moment. The panic that he went through and how soothing Jana was toward him was definitely real. I feel like these are moments that are caught as they are happening, so much of this has already been planned and overtalked about, that I forget that they are real people. 

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candygirl200413

I'm actually waiting for a clip of Joy asking what to name their child and Austin being like "how about we brainstorm together?!" and she's just like "i'll love anything you suggest" with heart eye emoji.

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snickers34
6 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

Ben holding Henry for the first time was such a real moment.

True. But also, for me, it reminded me of how vulnerable he is and how ridiculously young he still is. Just in his actions. I mean, Rufus Christ, I can't imagine being what, 21, and having 2 kids? Also, holy white privilege that he hasn't been publicly criticized for his 'life decisions' like others from different backgrounds might be.

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allthegoodnamesrgone
8 hours ago, candygirl200413 said:

I'm actually waiting for a clip of Joy asking what to name their child and Austin being like "how about we brainstorm together?!" and she's just like "i'll love anything you suggest" with heart eye emoji.

I'm hoping that giving birth will bring out the mama bear in Joy and give her, her spine back.  She was never a wishy washy girly girl, she was a tomboy who got shit done, like Jessa but with bare feet and no make up. I'm also hoping being away from the TTH will give her a chance to figure herself out, without DQ and Sistermom telling her how to wife like a good Gothard.  :puke-huge:

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VelociRapture
8 hours ago, snickers34 said:

True. But also, for me, it reminded me of how vulnerable he is and how ridiculously young he still is. Just in his actions. I mean, Rufus Christ, I can't imagine being what, 21, and having 2 kids? Also, holy white privilege that he hasn't been publicly criticized for his 'life decisions' like others from different backgrounds might be.

Ben turned 22 a little over three months after Henry was born. I can’t imagine it either, but I also didn’t have my first until I was 28. 

And yeah. If Ben were black or Hispanic the conversation about them in a lot of places would be very different, which is unfair and disgusting. Anyone from any ethnic background can be a phenomenal parent or a shitty parent and judging based off of skin color alone is just ridiculous.

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SamiKatz
37 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

And yeah. If Ben were black or Hispanic the conversation about them in a lot of places would be very different, which is unfair and disgusting. Anyone from any ethnic background can be a phenomenal parent or a shitty parent and judging based off of skin color alone is just ridiculous.

Or anyone of either sex.  My nephew has been the primary care giver for his daughter since she was born.  Her mother had medical issues and had to go back into the hospital the day after giving birth, and my nephew took care of not only his newborn daughter, but three other kids as well.  He's always been the primary caregiver (Mum in not really in the picture anymore), and is a phenomenal father/parent. 

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LegHumperBibleThumper
10 hours ago, candygirl200413 said:

I'm actually waiting for a clip of Joy asking what to name their child and Austin being like "how about we brainstorm together?!" and she's just like "i'll love anything you suggest" with heart eye emoji.

I was actually thinking about this the other day. I am due in May with our first child. It was really very easy to agree on a girls name but with boy names we've been having serious difficulty. Usually it's just because the name has already been used in our circle or we know someone with the name and we don't like that person. The other issue is we don't want anyone getting a fat head thinking we named our kid after them. We found out yesterday that we are having a boy and now the pressure is really on to decide!

I cannot imagine how much pressure there must be to pick a unique name in these quiver-full circles. It must feel impossible. For instance, was Kelly Bates offended or honored when Michelle and Boob named their youngest daughter Josie? Sometimes I think this may be how J&B landed on Spurgeon. They figured it was safe and no one else in their right minds would take it.

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allthegoodnamesrgone

We need to give Joy a chance, she was learning the ropes and doing what her sisters told her to do to be a Gothardly wife, she had Jessa Jill and MEchelle probably harping on her to do this and be that and to keep sweet and he will make all the decisions. AND remember you have to be a woman, you must wear make up and be feminine. In the span of what 8 months she went from being a teenage tomboy to getting a crash course in 'how to girl Gothard style' I said in another thread I'm hoping being away from her family and it just being her & Austin she will relax and be able to be herself again, and if not that then when this kid comes mama bear will come out and she won't be that wishy washy little girl playing grown up, like she did while courting/wedding planning with Austin.

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JillyO
46 minutes ago, LegHumperBibleThumper said:

I cannot imagine how much pressure there must be to pick a unique name in these quiver-full circles. It must feel impossible. For instance, was Kelly Bates offended or honored when Michelle and Boob named their youngest daughter Josie?

That was actually not the first time the Duggars used a name the Bateses had previously used, or I might chalk it up to coincidence. In addition to Josie, they also both have a Jackson (Jackson Bates being just a few years older than Jackson Duggar) and they both named a miscarried fetus Jubilee (the Bates miscarriage was earlier). I'm sorry, but those are too many for me to think it's coincidental. I have no idea what went through JB&M's heads.

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LegHumperBibleThumper
27 minutes ago, JillyO said:

That was actually not the first time the Duggars used a name the Bateses had previously used, or I might chalk it up to coincidence. In addition to Josie, they also both have a Jackson (Jackson Bates being just a few years older than Jackson Duggar) and they both named a miscarried fetus Jubilee (the Bates miscarriage was earlier). I'm sorry, but those are too many for me to think it's coincidental. I have no idea what went through JB&M's heads.

The Jubilee name seems as though it would be a bit hurtful actually. I didn't know about that but it makes me feel a bit sorry for Kelly and Gil. (not that i really ever feel sorry for Kelly and Gil)

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VBOY9977

I don’t think it’s that big of a deal that the Duggars gave some of their kids the same names as the Bates. It’s not like Gil and Kelly own or invented the names and have rights over them. Also, by that point it was more than clear that jb and Michelle named their kids with a J, so it couldn’t have been much of a surprise for Gil and Kelly. 

If I really like a name and someone in my circle named their kid that, you bet your ass I’ll still name my kid the name that I love. The only exception I’d make would be if the other kid has the same last name

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VelociRapture
1 hour ago, LegHumperBibleThumper said:

The Jubilee name seems as though it would be a bit hurtful actually. I didn't know about that but it makes me feel a bit sorry for Kelly and Gil. (not that i really ever feel sorry for Kelly and Gil)

Here’s what they wrote on their blog at the time:

https://thebatesfamily.com/2011/12/jubilee-shalom-duggar/

I think Kelly had four miscarriages and she had stated on their blog that they had chosen names based off hymns they loved - Jubilee was one and Zion was another. Jewels and Sunny (the final loss) were the other two. 

Regardless, I agree with @VBOY9977- it was clear the Duggars were picking only J names for their kids and I’m pretty sure the Bateses would have known there was a chance the Duggars would use one of the J names they had picked. 

(Also, side note to anyone else here who has had a miscarriage, especially an early miscarriage - avoid reading through an old FJ thread about Kelly’s miscarriage. I made that mistake looking up the names of Kelly’s losses. Most people were commenting specifically about the Bateses, but there were several comments that didn’t or didn’t make it clear and they kind of just stabbed me through the heart a bit. Just want to give a heads up in case anyone else accidentally stumbles across it.)

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LegHumperBibleThumper
17 minutes ago, VBOY9977 said:

I don’t think it’s that big of a deal that the Duggars gave some of their kids the same names as the Bates. It’s not like Gil and Kelly own or invented the names and have rights over them. Also, by that point it was more than clear that jb and Michelle named their kids with a J, so it couldn’t have been much of a surprise for Gil and Kelly. 

If I really like a name and someone in my circle named their kid that, you bet your ass I’ll still name my kid the name that I love. The only exception I’d make would be if the other kid has the same last name

I hear what you are saying and I agree when it comes to Jackson and Josie. The name Jubilee though was their angel in heaven. I can't imagine the pain of that loss and then someone else takes the same name? I think it's just to painful to relive. There are plenty of other J names that Michelle and JB could have picked. 

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AtlanticTug
20 minutes ago, VeryNikeSeamstress said:

If Jubilee had made it, I wonder if they would've still named her Jubilee.

Can you imagine Jim Bob...20 kids and not a single one named Julie, which he'd made clear was his favorite for years.

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Sky with diamonds
21 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

Ben holding Henry for the first time was such a real moment. The panic that he went through and how soothing Jana was toward him was definitely real. I feel like these are moments that are caught as they are happening, so much of this has already been planned and overtalked about, that I forget that they are real people. 

You make a good point. 

I'm glad and quite relieved that there has been some real emotions at times. I will always think of Michelle as robotic. She was robotic during Joe and Kendra's wedding. So very cold and detached.

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VelociRapture
1 hour ago, LegHumperBibleThumper said:

I hear what you are saying and I agree when it comes to Jackson and Josie. The name Jubilee though was their angel in heaven. I can't imagine the pain of that loss and then someone else takes the same name? I think it's just to painful to relive. There are plenty of other J names that Michelle and JB could have picked. 

It likely depends on the couple. Michelle released a letter she read at Jubilee’s memorial service not long afterwards. In it, she mentions Jubilee Shalom means “joyful celebration of peace.” Maybe they picked that specific name because of the meaning and the comfort it brought them during a time of genuine grief?

Personally, I don’t think I’d mind much - but most people we know aren’t aware I’ve had a miscarriage and my husband is the only one off FJ that knows I named our loss Morgan. Maybe I’d feel differently if people knew. 

Regardless, I do hope the Bateses didn’t mind.

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Jana814

My father is named Peter and I have a 2nd cousin with that name as well. He was born 7 years after my parents were married. It was perfectly fine mostly because we rarely saw them maybe once  a year. 

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Seahorse Wrangler
20 hours ago, candygirl200413 said:

 brainstorm together

Oh Austin, that's a lovely name...

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Who is thinking Joy is going to become the new Jill in social media once she gives birth to remind us that Jill is now gone from the show as Derick pretends she is 

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JordynDarby5

Wasn't Jubilee on the list of names when they were picking Jordyn's name? The camera panned the sheet of paper for a few seconds that had list of J names. I think Jessalyn and Josie were on that list too.

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Gillyweed
1 hour ago, JordynDarby5 said:

Wasn't Jubilee on the list of names when they were picking Jordyn's name? The camera panned the sheet of paper for a few seconds that had list of J names. I think Jessalyn and Josie were on that list too.

Thank God they didn't do Jessalyn! Jessa and Jessalyn is worse than Jana/JoyAnna/Johanna

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