Maxwell 15: Simplifying Thanksgiving into Less than Regular Dinner

[Eternalbluepearl]

Wouldn't it make more sense that a mom is being disrespected by her kids because they see their father disrespecting her also? That is certainly more like what happened in my family growing up. 

[Palimpsest]

Teri is so annoying.  And look, that whole Mom's Corner was to advertise her new CD!

Quote

LOVING YOUR HUSBAND CD

This session holds eye opening truths as to [how] a wife can improve her relationship with her husband.

I'll save my $5, thanks.  This is the passive aggressive woman who thinks it is wrong to tell her husband he has taken a wrong turning because it would be "criticism."  So they have to drive miles out in the wrong direction until he twigs that they have lost their way.

This is the woman who won't even call her husband to remind him to pick up a pizza for dinner.  That would mean she didn't think the almighty penis would remember it and be disrespectful.

Basically Patriarchal marriage disrespects women - so it isn't surprising that little Fundie children learn from their fathers to disrespect their mothers.

Let's talk about modeling a good marriage for the children.  Hey "unmarried son" - put this in your pipe and smoke it.   Everything Teri talks about should be done with mutual respect between the spouses.  Otherwise your children will learn not to respect either of you. 

So:

• When your wife brings something up, would she say you will be on her side and agree with her?  That would show a solid relationship where you are headed in the same direction.  It would also model a supportive relationship and show that you respect her input.
• What about when your wife says or does something you don’t think is so good? Do you point it out to her? Do you tell her what she should have done? Do you correct her?  I'll bet you think this is great.   We all make mistakes - but she has the right, and frankly the duty, to point out your mistakes too.  When you have these discussions I hope you do it in private and not in front of the children though.  That would be modelling disrespect for each other to the children.
• If your wife were to give you advice or counsel, which is perfectly OK, would you ignore it or make excuses for why it wouldn’t work? If so, take it as an opportunity to model debate, discussion, and critical thinking for your children.  Do your children obey you when you give them directions?  If they don’t, could it be that you have driven miles in the wrong direction and forgotten to pick up dinner because they have seen you angrily and stubbornly refuse to take input into your life from your wife?

[DutchMommy]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I want to go to the Bonewell wedding just for the food....

Best. Name. Ever!!

You made me snort my drink through my nose. But I could use a good laugh, so thank you!

[IReallyAmHopewell]

On 11/15/2017 at 9:07 AM, Captain Obvious said:

I don’t even know what Miracle Whip is. Is it like mayo in a spray can?

It's "Salad Dressing" of a very old school. You love it or hate it. I'm among that odd minority that like both Mayo and Miracle Whip, though these days I only eat the Olive Oil kind. I loved tuna/MiracleWhip sandwiches as a kid. My Dad loved what he called Peanut butter & Mayo, though we were strictly a Miracle Whip family.  [My Mom and Brother get deathly ill eating either]

22 hours ago, Tatar-tot said:

That dust ruffle does not coordinate with the comforter.

The entire setup reminds me of 70s.  The Maxwell clan are really caught in a time warp.

Do they have radiant heat?  Those tiles would be awfully cold in the winter. 

Late 80s to mid 90s.  Like the honey oak kitchen and woodwork. They really could update the bedroom a little.

[Palimpsest]

All this talk about Miracle Whip and mayo is making me absolutely crave some good old drippy, tangy, UK salad cream.  I may not even like it these days but I used to love it.   https://www.britishcornershop.co.uk/heinz-salad-cream-squeezy-top-down

[lilith]

7 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Boy I hope it was Jesse and not John. At least Jesse has the excuse of being a young and sheltered 23 year old. John will be 27 soon and he's had more real life experience and has a fiancé. Eh who am I kidding. It's probably john. Have fun with that Chelsy! 

Chelsy believes exactly the same way. The Bontragers dress it up in a prettier package, but their core beliefs are the same as the Maxwells, differing only in that Daddy Bontrager, instead of Stevehova, is god. And as soon as Chelsy says “I do” she’ll become an initiate of Maxhell, under the umbrella of her authorities authority.

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 minutes ago, lilith said:

Chelsy believes exactly the same way. The Bontragers dress it up in a prettier package, but their core beliefs are the same as the Maxwells, differing only in that Daddy Bontrager, instead of Stevehova, is god. And as soon as Chelsy says “I do” she’ll become an initiate of Maxhell, under the umbrella of her authorities authority.

I know they do. But Chelsy is going to feel like shit when her husband blames typical tween/teen disrespect on her. Along with everything else. 

[lilith]

From the Moms Corner:

”Recently one of my unmarried sons asked some profound questions on this topic. He said, “For those moms whose children don’t respect them, I wonder if she respects her husband. What are the children seeing in her responses to her husband? Could it be that she has set a negative example for her children through her interactions with her husband?” This young man has been watching and observing families—husbands and wives, and moms and children.”

Im going to call bullshit on Jesse or John just happening to bring this up with Teri. Unless it was in the course of some sort of premarital counselling with John in which they asked him to observe kids interactions with their mothers. It’s just not the sort of thing young men pay attention to and think to raise later with their mother.

Lies make baby Jesus cry, Teri,

[Palimpsest]

7 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Eh who am I kidding. It's probably john. Have fun with that Chelsy! 

Chelsy must have an inkling.  OTOH, she seems to be more than willing to join Maxhell.

We can tell her to run, but I fear she will not listen.  She's just jumping from the frying pan of Bontrager control into Maxhell.  John is rather good looking,  And she is in her late 20s and close to her expiry date as a SAHD.

How sad is that.

I want to think that John and Chels will rebel.  I pessimistically think that they will join the Borg.  With bells on.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I believe the Bontragers did write something about rebellion last year. I think a lot of it was blamed on evil public school. Chelsy will get the blame when public school can't be blamed. 

Here it is! I love this post from last year. It's so smug! But make sure you read Harrison Tyler's comments (nephew to Marlin) I like that Bontrager the best! 

http://bontragersingers.blogspot.com/2016/08/a-few-ideas-on-how-to-produce-rebel.html?m=0

[lilith]

16 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I believe the Bontragers did write something about rebellion last year. I think a lot of it was blamed on evil public school. Chelsy will get the blame when public school can't be blamed. 

Here it is! I love this post from last year. It's so smug! But make sure you read Harrison Tyler's comments (nephew to Marlin) I like that Bontrager the best! 

http://bontragersingers.blogspot.com/2016/08/a-few-ideas-on-how-to-produce-rebel.html?m=0

Those comments and the smug terse response were great.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Just now, lilith said:

Those comments and the smug terse response were great.

I would love to chat with Harrison Tyler. He sounds intelligent and thoughtful. And makes fabulous points. They must've hated that. That's why they wanted to get it off the Internet and talk in person. Don't want their readers to realize their beliefs are bullshit.

[Hane]

8 hours ago, bertnee said:

Also... Petty but I cannot stand how Teri and Sarah always write that "some" asked about whatever topic. Some what? Some people? Some dogs? Some apples?

YES. This drives me batty. I seem to recall it’s a Stevism that they have adopted.

[SuchABlessing]

One thing that weirds me out abt the Maxwells is how EVERY picture is staged - even "candid" shots. It makes everything look so fake and creepy. Photos of Teri exercising? Ok. Photos of Teri posing with workout equipment? Strange 

[Odd1Out]

So I read the Bontrager post linked above regarding raising rebels. 

I cant figure out how they keep saying they're not judging anyone if they do those things when that's the premise of the whole article. If you do any of those listed things, you're likely to raise a 'rebel' they say, but keep saying that's not what they're implying. It makes no sense. Why write an article that says This = That and then deny that's just what you said.  In the later comments they say some of their own children have experienced some of the listed things, yet they don't say their kids are rebels. So they're either lying about their children or just disproving their whole article. 

[FloraDoraDolly]

43 minutes ago, Odd1Out said:

So I read the Bontrager post linked above regarding raising rebels. 

I cant figure out how they keep saying they're not judging anyone if they do those things when that's the premise of the whole article. If you do any of those listed things, you're likely to raise a 'rebel' they say, but keep saying that's not what they're implying. It makes no sense. Why write an article that says This = That and then deny that's just what you said.  In the later comments they say some of their own children have experienced some of the listed things, yet they don't say their kids are rebels. So they're either lying about their children or just disproving their whole article. 

And, as Harrison Tyler pointed out in the blog comments, how is it that people whose kids have never gone to public school seem to know so much about what goes on there? I could see this criticism of the schools coming from someone who had a bad experience recently and pulled their kids out. Or someone who took their 5-year-old to more than one kindergarten roundup and didn't like what they saw. But the well-known Quiverfull families we discuss here on FJ have had zero recent experience with the public schools. Most of the parents are older than I am and would have graduated from high school in the 1970s and early 1980s. Their oldest kids are now in their twenties and even in their thirties. These people have no clue as to what the public schools are like, or how ordinary non-Quiverfull children behave.

[Myfanwy]

6 hours ago, lilith said:

From the Moms Corner:

”Recently one of my unmarried sons asked some profound questions on this topic. He said, “For those moms whose children don’t respect them, I wonder if she respects her husband. What are the children seeing in her responses to her husband? Could it be that she has set a negative example for her children through her interactions with her husband?” This young man has been watching and observing families—husbands and wives, and moms and children.”

 

Lies make baby Jesus cry, Teri,

Let me ask you this unmarried profoundly thinking genius; do you think the children might respect their mother if their father lead by example?

This young man has watched brothers, sisters-in-law, nieces and nephews and thinks he has the world sorted. 

This young man is wrong. 

[FunDieDumDum]

Slightly off the current topic of conversation, but I've been thinking ahead to Chelsy & John's wedding, and our collective curiosity about how a Bontrager/Maxwell nuptual is going to play out. 

I personally would love to see Chelsy assert herself a bit, and display some of her fashion flair in her choice of dress...thus showing that she has no intention of being a frumper or maxi denim skirt wearing Maxwell wife.  She looks gorgeous in red, and given that as well as the timing of the wedding, how fantastic would it be if she wore something like this? It checks all the modesty requirement boxes and the bridesmaids would look great next to her with very modest red dresses, but Steve would still blow a gasket the moment he saw her in this, amiright?

[Tatar-tot]

29 minutes ago, FunDieDumDum said:

Slightly off the current topic of conversation, but I've been thinking ahead to Chelsy & John's wedding, and our collective curiosity about how a Bontrager/Maxwell nuptual is going to play out. 

I personally would love to see Chelsy assert herself a bit, and display some of her fashion flair in her choice of dress...thus showing that she has no intention of being a frumper or maxi denim skirt wearing Maxwell wife.  She looks gorgeous in red, and given that as well as the timing of the wedding, how fantastic would it be if she wore something like this? It checks all the modesty requirement boxes and the bridesmaids would look great next to her with very modest red dresses, but Steve would still blow a gasket the moment he saw her in this, amiright?

That would be gorgeous with a simple bouquet of evergreens and holly berries.  Then dress her bridesmaids in the red of the slit.  

While it is possible the Maxwell walls can cave in on Chelse & John I think it is doubtful.  Chelse was bought up seeing family with an array of lifestyles from Mennonite to liberal Christian. John has not bought in hook, line & sinker to the Maxwell lifestyle.  I think the two of them will sort out where they fall on the Christian spectrum.

 Do I think they are going to pro LGBTQ? Doubtful.  But I also feel it is equally doubtful they will live like the Maxwell.  Chelse is the oldest daughter and has had quite a bit of autonomy in her life.  John has been doing his own thing including getting into car wrecks on his own.  I think the two will pick like an al la cart menu what they will keep and what they bring in based upon their own life experiences.  

[FunDieDumDum]

16 minutes ago, Tatar-tot said:

That would be gorgeous with a simple bouquet of evergreens and holly berries.  Then dress her bridesmaids in the red of the slit.  

While it is possible the Maxwell walls can cave in on Chelse & John I think it is doubtful.  Chelse was bought up seeing family with an array of lifestyles from Mennonite to liberal Christian. John has not bought in hook, line & sinker to the Maxwell lifestyle.  I think the two of them will sort out where they fall on the Christian spectrum.

 Do I think they are going to pro LGBTQ? Doubtful.  But I also feel it is equally doubtful they will live like the Maxwell.  Chelse is the oldest daughter and has had quite a bit of autonomy in her life.  John has been doing his own thing including getting into car wrecks on his own.  I think the two will pick like an al la cart menu what they will keep and what they bring in based upon their own life experiences.  

Time will tell, but like you I am hopeful, given what we know of these two, that they will at least try to chart their own course and live their lives in a manner of their choosing. It appears that John has also struck out on his own a bit career-wise, so Steve hopefully can't exert too much control over their livelihood...I'm sure he'd do that to whatever degree he could, to maintain control over "his domain".

I just hope that when it comes to their wedding, Chelsy and John will feel free to make the day what they want it to be, and won't be pressured by fear of criticism into making their wedding a reflection of Stevehova's standards and desires rather than their own. And of course I wouldn't mind if Chelsy in particular did or wore something that made Steve cringe a bit...not insinuating that she should do so deliberately, but it would be a nice little bonus! 

[Markie]

I read the responses to Marlin Bontrager's "Rebel" post and loved Tyler's. Although they share the same narrow, rigid view points as the Maxwells, it is refreshing to see that the Bontragers allow opposing views on their blog and respond respectfully with the posters. There is no way the Steve would allow any opposing or critical posts on the Maxwell blog! Hoping Chelsy and John continue to lighten up a bit. 

[catlady]

14 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

All this talk about Miracle Whip and mayo is making me absolutely crave some good old drippy, tangy, UK salad cream.  I may not even like it these days but I used to love it.   https://www.britishcornershop.co.uk/heinz-salad-cream-squeezy-top-down

Mr. CL discovered Salad Cream in the international aisle at Wegmans.  He absolutely loves it.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, Markie said:

I read the responses to Marlin Bontrager's "Rebel" post and loved Tyler's. Although they share the same narrow, rigid view points as the Maxwells, it is refreshing to see that the Bontragers allow opposing views on their blog and respond respectfully with the posters. There is no way the Steve would allow any opposing or critical posts on the Maxwell blog! Hoping Chelsy and John continue to lighten up a bit. 

I'm glad they didn't censor like Steve but it seems obvious that he wanted to get Harrison off the post by inviting him over to talk in person. Probably because Harrison was making some fantastic points. 

[Captain Obvious]

11 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I would love to chat with Harrison Tyler. He sounds intelligent and thoughtful. And makes fabulous points. They must've hated that. That's why they wanted to get it off the Internet and talk in person. Don't want their readers to realize their beliefs are bullshit.

I will also give Marlin points though for letting the critical comments stay on the blog, which is 100 times more than Steve would ever do. I also thought his responses were fairly reasonable, if a bit defensive. He couldn’t let the discussion take over the whole blog either, I guess.

The good thing I guess is that it’s clear the Bontragers do not shun people with different standards of Christianity, as indicated above. I doubt Steve would do the same for anyone who’d educated their children in public schools while claiming to be Christian, or graduates of said schools (even though he is one himself).

[SPHASH]

22 hours ago, HereticHick said:

I love Miracle Whip, even though it exposes me for the swamp-dwelling possum hillbilly that I am. And it is has about half the calories of mayo.

 

PS I see that Chelsy and John have registered for a whipped cream dispenser. I hope they use it on their honeymoon. : )

I hope Stud John and Chelsy go on a real honeymoon like to an all inclusive resort in the Caribbean or Mexico and not Colorado.