Lori Alexander 33: Counting Everyone's Calories

[elliha]

16 hours ago, Koala said:

I honestly believe this all boils down to jealously with Lori.  They have what she wants- money, attention, fame, and popularity.

I think Lori is what Swedes call "missunnsam". I have a hard time finding an English word for it. It is like jealous or envious but in the particular way that you care more about that other people don't get a good thing than anything else. You can be jealous or envious of someone's possessions but you might be OK with that person owning these things if you also owned the same things but someone who is "missunnsam" is mostly focused on other people not having things they want whether they own them or not. Such person would be quite happy with another person losing everything they own in a hurricane and be happy for their misery. This is what I get from Lori.

[Free Jana Duggar]

8 hours ago, Frog99 said:

@SuperNova I don’t disagree with you, however, I won’t criticize Osteen for his reluctance to use his church as a shelter. 

In my previous job, employees were required to provide emergency shelter duties and my 12 hour shift was an eye opener (a hurricane on the east last).  Things like manpower, nursing, safety and security, ensuring sex offenders aren’t admitted, ensuring protective orders aren’t violated, handling substance abuse or mental health crises, feeding people, ensuring no weapons are brought gut in, etc. The list goes on and on. And then you have to consider liability and damages. 

I do think he could have been more proactive. But honestly, I wouldn’t volunteer to do another emergency shelter shift. 

I don't really care for Osteen, but I can see your point. None of us knows the exact circumstances. It was a lot of "he said/she said".  However, for him to open up his huge facility would take planning. One can't just open a building and let thousands of people in without enough staff or security.  It would take some time to prepare.

[Free Jana Duggar]

8 hours ago, lilith said:

Not all (or even most) sex offenders offend against children though. And that’s not even my point - I’m just really uncomfortable with deciding that some groups of people don’t deserve basics like shelter from natural disasters, no matter what their past behaviour.

Our town actually has two shelters. One is for men, and the other is for women and children. It cuts down on the issue of sex offenders.  The only thing that would stink is if it was a family. The dad would have to stay separate from his wife and children.

[EowynW]

Here most offend against children/young teens. My FIL is the county probation officer & I like to go through and read the weekly postings at the office. And abusers like those never change. So yea I do think they should have to stay away from kids and young people even when being housed in a crisis. 

[EowynW]

In the early days, was Lori always this repetitive? It's the same damn topics every day and every week with her now. I don't know how she can consider herself as a mentoring blog. 

[Koala]

Lori:

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What does growing "closer to God" even mean? Does it mean you are living in submission to your husband, if you are married? Have you learned to have a meek and quiet spirit? Does it mean you are more loving, kind, and forgiving of others? Does it mean you are a keeper at home?

What it means, it that Lori is a pharisee.  Her version of Christianity has nothing to do with Jesus, and everything to do with a strict adherence to the couple of verses that she (The Godly Mentor) has deemed most important to God.  

The Bible, however, specifically tells Christians what the most important commandments were, and neither of them is submission or being a "keeper at home".

Matthew 22:36-39 says that the greatest commandments are to love God with all of your heart, and love your neighbor as yourself.  Lori mentions neither of those things.  She never does.  She's a legalist.  She demands blind obedience from her followers (because she alone, appropriately interprets scripture), and if they refuse to obey her, then she calls their salvation into question and insists that they are writing their own Bible, and must hate God and his ways.  

One reader said the following about Sarah Young's book:

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I have a book by Sarah Young and I’ll agree with this poster that it’s helped me grow closer to God. It helped me learn to stop the hustle and bustle and take time to read the Word and to be patient and content while following Him. I have since not been using any extra books or devotions, just reading the Bible, but it was that which helped me start my journey to learning about biblical womanhood.

According to this woman, Sarah Young's book helped her commit to reading scripture.  

What does Lori do with scripture?  She deletes it.  We've watched as she deleted numerous comments that contained ONLY scripture...nothing else.

Not long back, a reader asked Lori for scripture to back up what she was saying.  Lori's response?  "Read my blog!"  

Her response to the reader was predictable:

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She's very dangerous. I encourage you to throw away her books. Does she ever convict and challenge you about sin in your life? No! She's a false teacher and Joyce is living in disobedience to the Word. Read Nancy Campbell and Debi Pearl's writings instead. These are godly, older women teaching what God has commanded them to teach. 

The Bible says in Matthew 7:16 that you will know them by their fruit.  According to the reader, Sarah's "fruit" has been to encourage her to spend more time reading scripture.  Lori's response?  "Throw away her books!"  

I haven't read Lori's book, but does it encourage readers to love God and others more?  Does it encourage readers to spend more time in their Bible, or just demand that they follow Lori's rules of modesty, submission, and staying home?

Lori's right.  Her readers should take a good long look at her fruit. I think most of them will find that it's rotten.

(Side note- Notice how Lori asks a question that she couldn't possibly know the answer to, and then answers it herself, instead of allowing the reader to answer. 

Also, it's the Holy Spirit's job to convict, not Sarah Young's and definitely not Lori Alexander's)

All of this, from an Atheist.  Geez...

 

[EowynW]

I truly believe that Lori doesn't believe women are to have a personal relationship with God. They only interact with Him through their husbands. How sad. 

[Loveday]

5 minutes ago, EowynW said:

I truly believe that Lori doesn't believe women are to have a personal relationship with God. They only interact with Him through their husbands. How sad. 

I think you've just gotten to the heart of Lori's beliefs.

[Koala]

From today's post:

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If you read other biblical marriage blogs, you will see that most of them have warnings all over them about abuse and what submission doesn’t mean. If you notice, my blog doesn’t have this. 

She continues:

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Many today falsely believe that all suffering is evil. No, suffering refines us and makes us like Jesus. Read 1 Peter. We are responsible to follow Jesus and obey Him regardless of the cost to us

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 Your husband’s eternal soul may be at stake if he is an unbeliever. 

To refine something is to remove impurities, or make better.  Abuse doesn't remove impurities, and it doesn't make anyone or anything better. 

Lori, stop equating enduring abuse with godliness, and stop tasking women with saving their husband's souls.  That's God's job. Absolutely NONE of what you're teaching is scriptural in any way.

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You have nothing to fear because God is fighting this battle for you. He promises to never leave nor forsake you. Learn to be a godly, submissive wife in the good times as well as in the hard times. You will be rewarded for your obedience.

A battered woman has much to fear.  Staying through abuse doesn't make you godly, and there is no reward for enduring beatings because Lori Alexander thinks that you're responsible for your husband's salvation.  Period.  

If God wants to convict your low life, abusing husband, then you have to trust that he can handle that without your help.  

Like I said, I am an Atheist, and these things are obvious to even me.

[Loveday]

@Koala, I was going to hit the green arrow on your post, but I kept saying 'what the fuck' while reading Lori's words, so the wtf one was the most appropriate in the circumstances.

I have never been so close to actually commenting on her FB page as I am right now. I was blocked ages ago from her blog, so I will refrain as I want to be able to continue to read her crap (who knows why?!!), but this post has me boiling with rage. 

And this. So much this:

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A battered woman has much to fear.  Staying through abuse doesn't make you godly, and there is no reward for enduring beatings because Lori Alexander thinks that you're responsible for your husband's salvation.  Period.  

The guilt that she's piling on women in these situations is horrific. 

[Koala]

I feel the same way.  She is twisting scripture in order to keep women trapped in abusive situations. 

In a post earlier in the week, she said:

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If they are in danger of their lives for some reason or unable to get the basic necessities of life, then yes, separate as soon as possible and get the authorities, family, friends, and/or church involved, if need be. But know that as long as you are living under the same roof with him, he is being sanctified by your presence. He is seeing Jesus in you and you need to remind yourself that you are fighting for his eternal soul.

She basically says, "Sure, leave your husband, but as you go, realize that you are taking Jesus and his chance of salvation with you."

She is loading her readers down with burdens that she knows many of them won't be able to get out from under.  She tells them that suffering will make them godly, and save their husbands from an eternity in hell.

Victims have a hard enough time walking away as it is.  Something like this is just one more bolt across the door.

[EowynW]

FFS! HUMANS DONT SANCTIFY OTHER HUMANS. She is teaching heresy!! @Ken WHY are you letting your wife teach blatant unbiblical truths!

[AlwaysDiscerning]

The last comment was deleted over night

[desertvixen]

Largely, I think Lori is unhappy because she did all of the "right" things and she's not happy.  Instead of changing the things that make her unhappy, she's doubling down on them, and criticizing people who are doing what makes them happy.  She's made her bed, and it's up to her to change the blankets if she doesn't like them.

@elliha, I think you're spot on with "missunam".

The abuse thing  - so the 11 year old and I are binging Unsolved Mysteries because we're stuck in a hotel until we can get into a house.  One of the ones we watched last night had to do with wives who were attacked/killed because they had left.  You can be sure I used that as a teachable moment.

[Koala]

Unsolved Mysteries was one of my favorites.  I can remember watching that and Rescue 911.  Does anyone else remember that show?

[EowynW]

There are a lot of SAHM with issues. My own mother included. (I think for my mom, a lot of it was induced by extreme stress and worry  about finances + trying too hard to be a "good T2 wife" on top of existing health issues. Even today, approaching their 60s, my parents have 17 years left on a mortgage, no real way to retire, still not "comfortable" with basics and medical, etc )

 

 

I remember when my sister got married, I found her in private and told her if ANYTHING happened, or if she felt unsafe in anyway, or if her husband was harming or scaring her, she needed to run to us. Not tell the church (her FIL is their pastor) but come tell us. That's how worried I am about Christians not taking wife abuse and mistreatment seriously. 

My own mother, I feel, wouldn't even be safe to go to for help for some things. While I truely believe she'd help us if we left due to extreme wrong and physical abuse, I truly believe she wouldn't listen to other wrongs. Like temper issues, cutting words, general unease, mild controlling,  demanding more sex, etc. 

after all, when I got married she told me to expect that my husband would be "too commanding, heavy handed and authoritarian at first" while he "tried to figure out his role as head of the house and got used to being the boss." 

I am not kidding. It makes my sick to think about. And my sister always, has ALWAYS tried so so damn hard "to be good" that I'm afraid of her one day ending up in a bad situation. She married a decent guy, though I feel he's immature and a jerk. i just pray and watch her like a hawk. 

[Koala]

Lori:

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We can’t go around rebuking people that we don’t know, Aiesha.

 Wha???  Isn't that what Lori does every day??  

Hell, forget her readers, what about Sarah Young?  Does she know her?  What about Joyce Meyer?  

She wanted to paddle women for wearing thongs on the beach.  Did she know them?

My lord, the cognitive dissonance is strong with this one.

[Loveday]

"We can't go around rebuking people we don't know, Aiesha"????

Excuse me, but... 

And   

Thanks for the laugh, Koala, that just made my day. 

[lilwriter85]

1 hour ago, EowynW said:

In the early days, was Lori always this repetitive? It's the same damn topics every day and every week with her now. I don't know how she can consider herself as a mentoring blog. 

She started her Always Not Learning blog in 2011, but she didn't fall onto FJ's radar until a year later. I read some of the early stuff from 2011, from what I remember she didn't bash working women all that much in the beginning. Over time, she started bashing working women, divorced people stay-at-home dads, overweight people, social welfare programs,  gays, single moms, and other things.

[Koala]

Lori:

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 I don’t teach nor scold men since I am told to not teach men 

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 I am not supposed to teach men anything

That's interesting, because today a MAN named Don made the following comment on Lori's FB:

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 I've been taught that there would be no Jezebel if it were not for all the coward Ahabs.

Lori (who isn't supposed to teach men anything) replies:

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 That isn't true. Eve sinned before Adam did and she was perfect and walked with God!

Uh, Lori?  Don is a man, and you are merely an easily deceived woman.  Sorry.  Blessings!

Don has replied again, so I guess we'll see if Lori continues teaching him, or if The Horse of Truth will ride in.

[EowynW]

Welllllll why do you slam women rejoicing in growing closer to the lord then? You are such a hypocrite. 

[Koala]

What was she saying this week about kindness?

Oh, yeah:

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If we do talk, we need to learn to carefully measure our words and if we feel like we want to say something mean or critical, we shut it down very quickly and say nothing instead. We are “swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath”

Lori jumped all over that woman for nothing!  She is so nasty and snotty to them.  Why they follow her, I'll never know.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

She just deleted Don. So that is what she does. She teaches them then she deletes them so the fangirls don't see. By deleting him she told a man to shut up, I am the teacher. The woman teacher. 

[Koala]

Can someone clarify- Does the "wtf" reaction count as a down-vote? The WTF was directed at the way Lori treated her reader, not @EowynW.  Just want to make sure it didn't count as a down-vote for her.  

[AuntKrazy]

@Koala

From what I read when the changes first happened, the WTF is neutral and meant to indicate something about the content in the post and not directed at the person who posted.