Jinder's Dresses: A Very Subjective Rundown/Review of all Duggar Wedding Gowns

[Satan'sFortress]

@neurogirl  That is a tough choice.  They are both beautiful.  Not knowing the style of your wedding, I can only say that the first dress is really stunning, maybe more formal, and there is even a touch of vintage in there, to my eyes.  The second dress is more fun, less formal, maybe more comfortable. 

I like that they are both a little different from the average dress---not too out there, mind you, but really just a bit unique.

You look great in both, and you are not a brat.

Do you have pictures from the back?

Also--do you think your fiance would like you in one over the other?

[SapphireSlytherin]

I like both dresses, truly. 

But the first one just seems--based on what you've shared here--to be more 'you' than the second one.

As for the tears:  wedding planning is overwhelming and stressful and all that--perhaps the tears were caused by the gamut of emotions you're experiencing as you're trying to finalize everything for your big day?

Truth:  neither I nor my daughter cried when we chose our wedding dresses, but both of us had beautiful weddings, we both looked ah-mazing in our dresses (because that's what brides DO lol), and we're both happily married - tears or no tears over the dress.

Truth:  stop looking at options! I do the same thing to myself when I book a flight - I keep looking and get irritated if I find the same flight for less money.

YOUR truth:  take a few deep breaths, try on both dresses as many times as you need to  - Dress A, then Dress B, then Dress A, then Dress B - and make your decision then.

Good luck! Either way, you're gonna be stunning.

[singsingsing]

@neurogirl Not to keep inundating you with advice, but I'm about to.  Maybe your best bet is to try both of them on again? Also, try envisioning your entire wedding day from start to finish with each of the dresses: seeing it hanging up and ready to put on, putting on the dress, being photographed in it, being in your venue in the dress, your fiance seeing you in it, your family and guests seeing you in it, dancing while wearing it, eating while wearing it, leaving the reception in it... And think about what kind of decor and accessories you're planning on, and how they would complement each of the different dresses. 

I think ultimately just know that whichever dress you end up choosing, it's the right choice. It's not like you hate one of them and love the other and someone's pressuring you into making a choice you're not okay with. There's a risk with either dress that you're going to wind up wishing you'd chosen the other... but at least they were both dresses you loved.

I think a lot of well meaning people put so much pressure on brides with these ideas that you should be IN LOVE with your dress, to the point that it's almost a metaphysical experience, and when most people don't have that experience they start wondering what's wrong. Nothing's wrong! Choose a dress you feel beautiful in, that you like, that you think you'll be happy about when you look back on your wedding, and that you're comfortable enough in, and you've won.

[Satan'sFortress]

I want to get married again just so I can wear Rose's wedding dress from Downton Abbey.

 

Spoiler

 

[GreatScott]

Just because I’m curious: how many people cried when they found their dress?

i did not. I expected to, because i cry at everything. But I couldn’t stop smiling. My mom said I came out of the dressing room with the biggest smile and it never left my face. And every time I put it on again (when I picked it up, fittings, just because I could before the wedding and of course the morning of) I still grinned like the Cheshire Cat in it. I still smile thinking about wearing it. 

[Daisy0322]

@neurogirl I think that fabric is beautiful!  I think it's import that you love your dress and you feel confident in it. I think they you can "have your cake and eat it too" though! I think if you had a semestres let out the mermaid bottom half and put a (light on medium poof) filler skirt underneath you could have your princess look and still show off curves on top with the neck line and the waist. Your thinner so a medium skirt will look full but it won't over take you. I'm picturing somewhat of a princess crossed with a ballerina feel. Also, (at least in the picture) you look in the taller side/ longer torso which helps the skirt not look like the main focal point. 

 

I hope that helps, I was just da trying to get I to you mind set and see what I pictured but I personally love ball gown styles so that might've leaked into it. 

[Briefly]

28 minutes ago, GreatScott said:

Just because I’m curious: how many people cried when they found their dress?

i did not. I expected to, because i cry at everything. But I couldn’t stop smiling. My mom said I came out of the dressing room with the biggest smile and it never left my face. And every time I put it on again (when I picked it up, fittings, just because I could before the wedding and of course the morning of) I still grinned like the Cheshire Cat in it. I still smile thinking about wearing it. 

I didn't, but I don't guess I expected to. I actually looked at a few dresses and had one in mind, then I went back with my mom and sister and looked at it. Once I tried it on, I knew. But I don't think I was emotional.

[neurogirl]

Thank you everyone for the responses! I'm reading and re-reading them! The tricky thing is the first dress is at my parent's house, closer to the wedding venue (I'm planning out-of-state). I'm going home in a week for bridal shower and to try the dress on again, so I really can't make a decision before then. But my mind keeps going back and forth!

The venue is here: https://www.thevandusenmansion.com/gallery/ It's a mansion from the early 1900s and I am so lucky and excited to get married here! The 1st vintage dress matches the venue much better. Also, when I got engaged and started looking at dresses I wanted something sophisticated, elegant, and figure-hugging since I've never done that look before, and the 1st dress definitely fits that too.

The veil you see with the 1st dress is a veil I already have. It's midi length I think? My hair cannot hold a curl so I was going with braided/messy side bun with flowers. I plan on wearing large pearl drop earrings but am unsure about necklace. Flowers will be very similar to Joe and Kendra's! 

Spoiler

But to answer some questions- yes some of my bridesmaids did the *smile* "It's nice" to the 1st dress (or straight up admit it's not what they thought I would pick) and for some one who has been watching SYTTD for over a decade and dreaming about her wedding dress was not the response I was looking for. The second princessy dress is also safer, lighter, more comfortable for the summer, and easier to dance in. It fits my vision of a bridal dress from when I was younger up until a few months ago. The few people I've shown this one too (made the mistake of showing too many friends dress 1) say "ohhhh it's beautiful and so you!" And I am walking in to/doing our first dance to At Last I See the Light from Tangled, so the disney princess theme fits too. 

Back of 1st vintage dress (and excuse the fact that I'm in my parent's bathroom and that my mom has pinned it up a bunch for me)

 

Spoiler

Back of 2nd princess dress

 

Spoiler

It comes down to...do I go with the dress I've always wanted/fits who I've always been? Or the dress that matches my newly-engaged vision and hints at a part of my future I'm working on embracing? (And yes that's way overly dramatic and it's just a dress and I'm going to be happy to marry neuroboy in either one!)

so many great suggestions from everyone and I will try to do the coin toss/envision the whole day in each dress!

 

Edited April 8, 2018 by neurogirl

[Kelsey]

I think both dresses are very pretty. 

Your posture/body language looks like you feel much more comfortable in the second dress (at least to me). 

Have you considered wearing both of them? One to the ceremony and the other to the reception?

[neurogirl]

@Kelsey at least so far I did feel more comfortable in dress 2. I’ve been trying to think If I can wear both. They are both full wedding dresses so I don’t want to be really obnoxious but in my heart id love for that to be an option.

[2manyKidzzz]

The back of the first dress is kind of amazing. 

[VelociRapture]

58 minutes ago, GreatScott said:

Just because I’m curious: how many people cried when they found their dress?

i did not. I expected to, because i cry at everything. But I couldn’t stop smiling. My mom said I came out of the dressing room with the biggest smile and it never left my face. And every time I put it on again (when I picked it up, fittings, just because I could before the wedding and of course the morning of) I still grinned like the Cheshire Cat in it. I still smile thinking about wearing it. 

I didn’t. I viewed wedding dress shopping the way I view normal shopping for clothes - as a necessary evil. My mom and I aren’t shoppers at all, so we basically went in with the mindset of just getting it done. I was lucky to have a great consultant who really listened to what I wanted and what my budget was. That made the shopping a lot easier.

I mean, it was fun getting to try on a few expensive dresses, but I was glad once that part was over too. I was way more excited for the food and cake tastings. 

[singsingsing]

22 minutes ago, neurogirl said:

@Kelsey at least so far I did feel more comfortable in dress 2. I’ve been trying to think If I can wear both. They are both full wedding dresses so I don’t want to be really obnoxious but in my heart id love for that to be an option.

I would go for the one you feel more comfortable in. And the reason I say that is because I think with either of these two dresses, you really can't lose. Both are beautiful. You look beautiful in both. Both suit your venue. I also like how you described feeling like the second dress was more about looking forward to the new life in front of you rather than looking back at what you wanted before. Not that it would be wrong at all to choose the first dress, but that resonated with me. I think a wedding is kind of about looking forward rather than looking back.

All that said, lots of people nowadays are doing the wedding dress/reception dress thing. If you love both dresses and truly can't decide between them, really want to wear them both, and money isn't an issue, go for it!

[Nargus]

1 hour ago, GreatScott said:

Just because I’m curious: how many people cried when they found their dress?

i did not. I expected to, because i cry at everything. But I couldn’t stop smiling. My mom said I came out of the dressing room with the biggest smile and it never left my face. And every time I put it on again (when I picked it up, fittings, just because I could before the wedding and of course the morning of) I still grinned like the Cheshire Cat in it. I still smile thinking about wearing it. 

I did not.  I actually gave it a 'no' the first time I tried on dresses.  I think I didn't like the floral waist applique. But the second time I went, I found it on the rack again and wanted to try it again.  I couldn't remember what I didn't love about it.  And it was on clearance because it had been discontinued (reg was $1590 and I got it for $399).  And that made up my mind for me.  

Looking back after I purchased it, it was basically a perfect blend of my top 4 dresses on Pinterest.  

I went shopping by myself, after I decided on my dress, I took my aunt back with me to tell me if I was crazy for wanting to buy it.  

I had some friends who were very salty that I didn't invite them dress shopping with me.

[moreorlessnu]

The 2nd dress looks gorgeous on you, both in the front and the back.

Agree w/ the poster who said your posture looks more comfortable in the 2nd dress. I also wonder if the 1st dress fits your correctly. It looks like it's pulling in places near your hips. It just doesn't look comfortable. 

The 1st dress is "nice", but the 2nd dress is "Wow". It's just gorgeous, and airy, and magical and floaty.

[Daisy0322]

I'm weird I went alone to shop for a dress. I just have always liked to make decisions by myself and I didn't want to be swayed...I found the one I loved first dress I put on and I didn't cry but I wore it for an hour stalling because I didn't want to take it off. I put it on at least weekly for a year leading up to my wedding and even now I just love looking at it. I never felt so special before. (Not that I ever really feel special lol that'll probably add on another 3 months in therapy haha). 

[nst]

Are we discussing wedding dresses? I have many photos I adore. 

Jingers baby girl is the size of cauliflower. So little Hempa Sue Voulou is cooking.

90 degrees

[just_ordinary]

4 hours ago, GreatScott said:

Just because I’m curious: how many people cried when they found their dress?

i did not. I expected to, because i cry at everything. But I couldn’t stop smiling. My mom said I came out of the dressing room with the biggest smile and it never left my face. And every time I put it on again (when I picked it up, fittings, just because I could before the wedding and of course the morning of) I still grinned like the Cheshire Cat in it. I still smile thinking about wearing it. 

I didn’t. I always envisioned me trying on hundreds of dresses and having lots of fun and then finding THE ONE.

In the end I tried on six, felt overwhelmed and pressured to buy something. Don’t get me wrong. I love my dress and I looked good in it. But I didn’t take enough time and found the whole shopping rather stressful.

4 hours ago, neurogirl said:

Thank you everyone for the responses! I'm reading and re-reading them! The tricky thing is the first dress is at my parent's house, closer to the wedding venue (I'm planning out-of-state). I'm going home in a week for bridal shower and to try the dress on again, so I really can't make a decision before then. But my mind keeps going back and forth!

The venue is here: https://www.thevandusenmansion.com/gallery/ It's a mansion from the early 1900s and I am so lucky and excited to get married here! The 1st vintage dress matches the venue much better. Also, when I got engaged and started looking at dresses I wanted something sophisticated, elegant, and figure-hugging since I've never done that look before, and the 1st dress definitely fits that too.

The veil you see with the 1st dress is a veil I already have. It's midi length I think? My hair cannot hold a curl so I was going with braided/messy side bun with flowers. I plan on wearing large pearl drop earrings but am unsure about necklace. Flowers will be very similar to Joe and Kendra's! 

  Reveal hidden contents

But to answer some questions- yes some of my bridesmaids did the *smile* "It's nice" to the 1st dress (or straight up admit it's not what they thought I would pick) and for some one who has been watching SYTTD for over a decade and dreaming about her wedding dress was not the response I was looking for. The second princessy dress is also safer, lighter, more comfortable for the summer, and easier to dance in. It fits my vision of a bridal dress from when I was younger up until a few months ago. The few people I've shown this one too (made the mistake of showing too many friends dress 1) say "ohhhh it's beautiful and so you!" And I am walking in to/doing our first dance to At Last I See the Light from Tangled, so the disney princess theme fits too. 

Back of 1st vintage dress (and excuse the fact that I'm in my parent's bathroom and that my mom has pinned it up a bunch for me)

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Back of 2nd princess dress

 

  Reveal hidden contents

It comes down to...do I go with the dress I've always wanted/fits who I've always been? Or the dress that matches my newly-engaged vision and hints at a part of my future I'm working on embracing? (And yes that's way overly dramatic and it's just a dress and I'm going to be happy to marry neuroboy in either one!)

so many great suggestions from everyone and I will try to do the coin toss/envision the whole day in each dress!

 

Ahhhhh. Beautiful choices!! Especially fond of hair and flowers. Maybe you want to post pictures after the wedding?

Good luck with your decision. I would prefer the first dress for you, but guess what? I don’t know you in real life, so my preference really doesn’t matter. 

If you can afford both and really cannot decide- wearing both can be an option.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I don't remember if I cried. I do remember being bullied into picking the dress because everyone was hungry and wanted to get lunch instead of going to the 2nd salon that we had an appointment at.  It was a pretty dress and had the cathedral veil that I really wanted but it wasn't THE dress.  I wish I had been more aggressive and letting my feelings known. I hated everything about my wedding, it wasn't MY wedding it was my mothers, I didn't' get to do anything I wanted, everything I asked for was eye rolled, from wanting to have my groom and I see each other alone, The fist look that they do now, I was told I as being silly, to  wanting to keep it small and have it outside. 21 years later I hate the dress I don't have happy memories of the day I regret it and wished we'd have eloped, like I wanted to.  So I always tell future brides, stand up for yourself, do what you want don't be a pushover like I was. I don't mean go all bridezilla on everyone but don't let others push you into things you don't want. 

Edited April 9, 2018 by Jellybean
Removed empty spoiler box

[Captain Obvious]

On 08/04/2018 at 10:01 AM, neurogirl said:

Maybe you ladies can help me! I must've expressed my concern over my wedding dress before @BunnyBee. Well it's getting to crunch time and your post was actually one clue in a number in recent days that convinced me to go to another salon. Well. Now I'm confused. I've tried on 55 dresses during this process, and disliked most of them. The dress is purchased is below- it's beautiful and shows off my figure which I swore up and down is what I wanted. 

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It's very sparkly in person, and my mom loves it, and it's what I said I wanted. But I have been anxious about this dress ever since. I rarely wear tight-fitting things and I wanted to have that beautiful butterfly moment, but for what ever reason I've been having consternation, and my friends also seem surprised with that choice/have lackluster reactions. When I'm in it I feel better than when looking at pictures too- then I really like/love it. 

But today I tried on dresses that were more me, more like my prom dresses which I said I didn't want. And this is the only dress in 55 that made me cry. (and wedding is in July but the sample fits me/someone is also selling the same dress same size for 50% off on a pre-owned dress website so timing is not really an issue)

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Now I don't know what to do! My parents are going to be so frustrated with me if I get another dress, and I did want to show off my figure for a reason, but shouldn't I feel more confident in my choice? My friend got engaged and she was showing me pictures of princess dresses and I felt a pang in my heart even though I tried on ballgowns before and didn't want anything to do with them. I should've looked more and thought about it longer because apparently I didn't know what I want, and I'm still conflicted. 

Any advice, my FJ wedding dress enthusiasts? 

(And yes, I realize that I am stupidly lucky to have this choice and I already feel like such a brat)

I would always tell anyone to wear what’s more “them”.

A wedding is not the time to pretend to be someone you’re not, but the best version of who you actually are.

The first dress, while actually my favourite (I love the art deco-ish patterns), is a sexier style, and if you don’t feel comfortable wearing such styles normally, a wedding is not the place to start. If you’re feeling self-conscious or not really like yourself, that may end up showing through in your photos.

Since you said the second dress is more you and you feel more comfortable in it - that one.

[Jinder Roles]

@BunnyBee You’re dress is stunning!!! I’m in awe. 

@neurogirl A lot of brides have ideas of what dress type will make them look best or think they have to look a certain way on their wedding day (some stick with it and some are surprised with their choices).

Get the one that you feel most comfortable in. I just think both look good, but that one that will suit you best is the one you love. Plus, that a-line dress is a steal considering it’s half-off. And if you’re wedding’s in July, then you should have enough time to get it altered.  You can always sell the other dress (or even wear it as a reception dress if you really can’t let go of it). 

Just go with what you love and what isn’t financially detrimental. 

[L1o2u3]

If I get married, my boyfriend will probably hate my dress  

I love 80/90s wedding dresses... with bows and those sleeves and everyting. This is my dream wedding dress: 

 

Spoiler

Another option for me would be to have my grandma's dress altered - it's handmade from the 60s (her cousin made it for her) and it has a pretty simple shape. High & straight neckline (but could be made into a sweetheart or something like that) and long sleeves that could be shortened. It only has a stain, but maybe a professional cleaning could make it go away... then it would love to wear it. 

My boyfriend wants me to go with something like this though (full length or tea length), which is really pretty too, but not me I think... But well, before I go dress shopping, he needs to propose and that can take time...  he doesn't see himself getting married in the next 10 years 

Spoiler

 

Edited April 9, 2018 by L1o2u3

[Briefly]

22 hours ago, Daisy0322 said:

I'm weird I went alone to shop for a dress. I just have always liked to make decisions by myself and I didn't want to be swayed...I found the one I loved first dress I put on and I didn't cry but I wore it for an hour stalling because I didn't want to take it off. I put it on at least weekly for a year leading up to my wedding and even now I just love looking at it. I never felt so special before. (Not that I ever really feel special lol that'll probably add on another 3 months in therapy haha). 

I shopped alone at first for a couple of reasons. I had a general idea what I liked, it's not a joke that I had been planning my wedding since I was 5! My sister got married in our parent's living room and it was kind of a disaster for a lot of reasons - but when she was dress shopping she listened to our mother going on about why she shouldn't spend so much on a dress she would only wear once (that was a recurring theme with our Mom, and probably it came from her being raised in the Depression) and my sister basically bought a dress that she could have worn to work IF she'd fancied it up a little.  It was plain and boring, and she really did not seem to like it. I knew that I would be hearing the same thing from Mom, because she had mentioned it to me already. I know she meant it out of concern, but it was not something I thought was worth arguing over. The other reason is because of the fact that even though I am the youngest, everybody thinks I'm the oldest and my sister who I love very much has always seemed to be "jealous" (not the exact word but the closest I can come up with) and I really did not want to cause her any more distress than I had to. But I knew that they both wanted to share the experience with me. So I looked a little bit by myself, then took them with me and showed them a couple of dresses but only tried on the one I already had picked out. After my wedding, when I was going to take my dress to the cleaners somebody suggested my sister try it on. I saw her face when she did, and it was very obvious that she felt like she should have bought more of an actual wedding dress instead of just a cheap, boring dress.

[Daisy0322]

11 minutes ago, Briefly said:

....she listened to our mother going on about why she shouldn't spend so much on a dress she would only wear once (that was a recurring theme with our Mom, and probably it came from her being raised in the Depression)....

My grandma grew up in the 30's as well and she told me as long as I would make something out of my dress after the wedding she didn't see a problem with how expensive it was haha. So a few weeks before her funeral I found out I was pregnant and I took that as a sign I should use my dress to make baby blankets.

[VelociRapture]

13 minutes ago, Daisy0322 said:

My grandma grew up in the 30's as well and she told me as long as I would make something out of my dress after the wedding she didn't see a problem with how expensive it was haha. So a few weeks before her funeral I found out I was pregnant and I took that as a sign I should use my dress to make baby blankets.

That’s such a sweet idea! I ended up donating my gown to Brides Across America. They help military couples plan their weddings and I really liked the thought that my dress could help someone else make some beautiful memories.