"I Kissed Dating Goodbye" author is crowdfunding a documentary on the impact of his book

[TXGirlInAMaterialWorld]

I was actually impressed by Harris' interview on Family Life Radio- including the fact that when asked about his own kids dating lives he said that he would rather respect their privacy.  He just gave a general spiel and wouldn't name names.  To me- that is the polar opposite of most f undies who are almost always willing to overstep boundaries and use their kids to promote their cause.  

[dripcurl]

51 minutes ago, TXGirlInAMaterialWorld said:

To me- that is the polar opposite of most f undies who are almost always willing to overstep boundaries and use their kids to promote their cause.  

I think he was a victim of that very thing.

[L1o2u3]

On the movie website, it says: 

Quote

Our director, Jessica, believed crowd-funding offered the best opportunity to complete this important documentary,
and together, she and Josh desired to 
 provide it as a free resource to individuals and groups.

So I guess we can watch it for free. 

[seraaa]

Josh Harris did a Ted Talk recently

 

[stylites]

On 05/08/2017 at 12:28 AM, JesusCampSongs said:

My prediction: they will present three people/couples: one for who IKDG worked for, one for who it didn't work, but it all turned out okay, and one for who it didn't work at all and a trainwreck ensued. They will then present all three outcomes as being equivalently likely, with many weaselwords and nonpologies from Josh. 

 

Quite possible.  Though on this note, the two main couples who were used as illustrations within the book are now divorced.

[Petronella]

13 hours ago, stylites said:

 

Quite possible.  Though on this note, the two main couples who were used as illustrations within the book are now divorced.

Whoa. That's pretty damning of the point of the book.

I haven't read the book myself. Who are these two couples? What do you know about them?

[bea]

I think Sam Torode and Bethany Patchin (I don’t know her new married name) might be one? Or maybe not - she’s now agnostic and I believe he’s fallen away from the church too.

[hoipolloi]

29 minutes ago, bea said:

I think Sam Torode and Bethany Patchin (I don’t know her new married name) might be one? Or maybe not - she’s now agnostic and I believe he’s fallen away from the church too.

Possibly -- were they involved with SGM?

At least one of the couples were part of then-SGM royalty (NOT Mahaneys). There was a lot of discussion on the SGm Survivors list, including lengthy statements from both spouses.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I watched the TED talk and what stood out to me was that he mentioned evolution. Sorry but when a fundie (is he still fundie? Idk) talks about the EVIL E word I get taken aback. 

Did anyone else watch the TED talk? It's pretty short so you'll get through it quickly. 

[CharlieInCharge]

Whoa. He didn’t just mention evolution, he actually seemed to understand and (dare I say) agree with it. Thank you for mentioning that because it’s what made me watch. I feel like he demonstrated some growth and I was both shocked and impressed he was as candid as he was. He definitely wants to rebrand himself, but I think the changes in him are genuine. I honestly wish him the best.

 

I can’t help but wonder if this is going to leak into Fundie circles on the DL and start some folks thinking. Fingers crossed.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

22 minutes ago, CharlieInCharge said:

 

I can’t help but wonder if this is going to leak into Fundie circles on the DL and start some folks thinking. Fingers crossed.  

I think some fundies are already changing the way the talk about courtship. The Bontragers didn't even say courtship when talking about Chelsy and John. They talk about them being in a relationship, then getting engaged. The word court and courtship weren't mentioned. The Bateses now have a "getting to know you" period that is basically dating before official courtship. I think they are slowly moving away from Josh's courtship model. I think they will latch onto some other fundie with a slightly different model that is still very controlled and chaste. But it will be more like dating. But who will it be?

[stylites]

6 hours ago, Petronella said:

Whoa. That's pretty damning of the point of the book.

I haven't read the book myself. Who are these two couples? What do you know about them?

 

Slight confusion, I was thinking of the sequel 'Boy meets Girl' (where his ideas for what courtship should consist of were put forward), with Megan/Kerrin playing a fairly major part in that book - as linked above. ISTR other couple were also SGM royalty - but I forget the names [I was involved in a similar/linked church movement at the time - so it was of interest]

[JesusCampSongs]

21 hours ago, stylites said:

 

Quite possible.  Though on this note, the two main couples who were used as illustrations within the book are now divorced.

 

I firmly believe that there are few things that will guarantee the demise of one's marriage quite like being featured in or writing a dating or marriage advice book. Or, in the case of the Botkinettes, ensures that said marriage never happens. 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

43 minutes ago, JesusCampSongs said:

 

I firmly believe that there are few things that will guarantee the demise of one's marriage quite like being featured in or writing a dating or marriage advice book. Or, in the case of the Botkinettes, ensures that said marriage never happens. 

 

Seems to be the case for the Mally's as well. 

[bea]

Seems to be the case for the Mally's as well. 

Wait, the Mallys have a divorce in the family? How’d I miss that?

[Bethella]

21 minutes ago, bea said:

Wait, the Mallys have a divorce in the family? How’d I miss that?

I think she meant that the marriages have never happened. 

[CyborgKin]

5 hours ago, JesusCampSongs said:

 

I firmly believe that there are few things that will guarantee the demise of one's marriage quite like being featured in or writing a dating or marriage advice book. Or, in the case of the Botkinettes, ensures that said marriage never happens. 

 

And there's a lot of blog posts and articles still floating around crowing about how perfect Kelly and Peter Bradrick! arewere.

[smittykins]

Or appearing in Return of the Daughters (BRADRICK!)

Or what @CyborgKin  said...

[JermajestyDuggar]

10 hours ago, bea said:

Wait, the Mallys have a divorce in the family? How’d I miss that?

No. They are all just perpetually single. Although Grace did have a broken engagement this year. 

[Palimpsest]

On 12/2/2017 at 6:08 PM, seraaa said:

Josh Harris did a Ted Talk recently

He annoys me and this Ted Talk annoyed me.  I am impressed that he seems to believe in evolution these days.  However, so much of this talk was about him - Josh Harris.  Other people are just afterthoughts in the very polished script here.

To me, it is just Josh Harris blowing his own trumpet again.  Oh, he did make mistakes in IKDG but he was so young.  And innocent.  And scared.  It wasn't his fault.  He was young, homeschooled and ignorant.  By the way, he thinks there are still some good things in the book.  He only mentions that it was a best seller and it made him famous about nine times.  All with a sort of fake humility.

Now he is all grown up and he is "Strong Enough to be Wrong."  All hail the almighty Josh Harris.  Can we all bow down to his strength now.

He's such a great person that when someone tweeted him with criticism he apologized.  She then told him that it was the first time a "religious leader had ever admitted to getting something and apologized to her."  All hail the almighty Josh Harris.  He's a religious "leader" who admits he may have been wrong.

Of course he reached this point when he resigned from pastoring a "large church" and went back to school.  He totally glosses over the parts he played with Sovereign Grace Ministries and at Covenant Life Church.  Cover-ups of child abuse on his watch weren't his fault either. https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/long-an-outsider-popular-evangelical-pastor-heads-for-the-mainstream/2015/01/30/31827364-a881-11e4-a7c2-03d37af98440_story.html?utm_term=.511dbca3af79

Quote

In an interview, Harris said the isolation of Covenant Life, and of a small cluster of churches of which it was a part, may have fed leadership mistakes, including the decision of pastors — himself among them — to handle a child sexual abuse case internally instead of going to police.

A former Covenant Life member who helped with the youth group was convicted last year of molesting three boys in the 1980s. Trial testimony showed that the victims or their families had gone to church leaders for help and that the church officials did not call police. Harris said the thinking of the church was that such allegations should be handled as an internal, spiritual issue, though church spokesman Don Nalle noted that Covenant Life has contacted civil authorities in other abuse cases in the past.

A lawsuit filed by different alleged victims was dismissed largely because the statute of limitations had expired.

It is not a given that being part of a denomination or having more academic training would have fixed all errors, he said, but they would have had much more outside input.

The church “was sort of a mom-and-pop structure that grew exponentially,” he said.

See, nothing is ever his fault.

So now he isn't a pastor any longer he doesn't have to be "right."  He can listen to his friends.  He is so great that he opened up his website to criticism of IKDG.  And they are giving this film away for free.  All hail the almighty Josh Harris.

But he is so brave not to run away from confronting all of this controversy because it is a "pathway of growth."  For the almighty Josh Harris, of course.

There is "transformational power" in admitting that he got things wrong and he is learning through this process.  Of course, only the most cynical would think that the transformational power had to do with reinventing a lame duck former pastor's career, getting him Ted Talks, and selling more books.

Oh, and he needs time.  He needs to be a caterpillar smoothie before he is a butterfly.  And people are so ticked off with him.  The people who loved his book.  The people who helped him be a pastor.  They are all ticked because the almighty Josh Harris is admitting that he was wrong.  Well, somewhat wrong.  I'm ticked about the fact he is wiggling around only admitting to perhaps being wrong and any contrition seems faked.

His take home message:  Josh Harris is a victim because people are pissed at him for daring to question his own book.  (Available on Kindle for $8.99.  Don't pay $11.11 for the paperback though - there are plenty around second hand.)   Josh Harris is trying to change and that is good.  Admitting you are wrong is a form of strength.  Please all bow down to the almighty Josh Harris.

My take home message was:  Yeeuch!  I can see why he was a successful pastor though.  He's really preaching in the second half of the Ted Talk.

[JermajestyDuggar]

@Palimpsest

thats what I got from the overall message of the TED talk too. It's all about Josh and how right he is at being wrong. 

However I do wish he would talk a little more about the reaction of others towards him. Like the people who love his book and have a strong negative reaction to his admitting to being wrong. That is more interesting to me than his preachy I'm so wrong I'm right crap. 

[hoipolloi]

32 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

However I do wish he would talk a little more about the reaction of others towards him. Like the people who love his book and have a strong negative reaction to his admitting to being wrong.

There are such people? Who & where are they? Not being snarky here, just surprised, especially if they are fundie A- or B-list folks.

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, hoipolloi said:

There are such people? Who & where are they? Not being snarky here, just surprised, especially if they are fundie A- or B-list folks.

He just mentioned them in general. He didn't name names. But I would love to hear more about those people. Maybe he talks to some of them in his movie. 

[hoipolloi]

31 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

But I would love to hear more about those people.

As would I.

So many of these folks seem to think being fundie means never having to say publicly you're sorry for the absolutely toxic shite you promoted and pushed on others, not to mention forcing minor children to follow. Repentance is for others.

Just "La, la, la -- oh THAT? Who believes or does THAT stuff?" 

[seraaa]

1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

I am impressed that he seems to believe in evolution these days. 

I noticed that as well. Like, welp, that's a significant divergence. 

I would love, love him to properly address what happened at Covenant Life Church, but think it's unlikely he will do so. Not in this publicity cycle.