Jana's Future 4 - Family Ties

[Kailash]

@Lulu22du It is possible that Jana has her own room. Is it likely? Not based on what we know of the Duggars. 

If this forum feels rigid in its thinking I encourage you to explore other topics. There are many members and varied opinions elsewhere.

I think a lot of people are emotionally invested in the Duggars and this shows in some of their defensive and know it all posts. Imo, this slice of the forum is not a complete representation of FJ.

[VelociRapture]

@Lulu22duI'll do my best:

It appears Jana was still in the dorm as of May 2015. They redecorated the room around then and stated that seven sisters still slept there. Jill and Jessa were both married at that point, which means the seven other sisters were all still there.

Thats it for definite facts on where she's sleeping. The rest is opinion based off facts regarding their beliefs and lifestyle.

Personally, I haven't seen anything to suggest a room change. It's difficult knowing for sure because the show isn't focused on the TTH anymore. But the Duggars built the rooms the way they did to ensure accountability. You can't stray into any sort of temptation if you never have any privacy. Allowing Jana to move to a different room - even in the same house - would mean giving her a great deal of time alone. I honestly don't think it's very likely that her parents would approve that. Jana has done a lot to prove herself trustworthy, but I get the feeling Josh may have ruined it for the other Duggars.

They also appear to have built the bedrooms in a way to try and prevent further assaults on the daughters by any male who may have access. The daughters have a room on one end of the house. Next to them is their parents' room and on the other end of the house is the room for their brothers. They could add a lock to the door to the bedroom downstairs, but they may have other reasons for wanting Jana to remain upstairs. 

Then there's the fact that Jim Bob and Michelle aren't really great parents. I doubt they'd be thrilled if one of the younger kids woke them up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare.

I'm also wondering where Tyler, Michelle's great-nephew may be sleeping. I don't think it's entirely impossible that he wound up in Grandma's room - either due to something they were told during his guardianship hearings or because they want to limit his possible influence on their sons (which just made me roll my eyes so hard.)

(Other people may be able to add to this, but the things we know about the family and their belief system very strongly suggests that there has been no change in her living situation.)

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

^ I believe there was an interview recently with TLCme and Joe and Josiah, implying that all the boys from JD to Jackson were all still in the same room. And if the boys in their twenties are still in their childhood room, why on earth would JB and Michelle let Jana change her situation? Granted there are more years between Jana and her baby sisters, due to the coincidence of birth order and gender....but I don't think the parents would see it way. 

[Bad Wolf]

Didn't Anna have a semi private alcove in the girls' room when Josh was in Jesus jail? Maybe Jana  could be there. She would have a little privacy, but still be on hand if the little girls needed something. Maybe she at least gets her own bed now.

[Shadoewolf]

I've posted a differing opinion many a time and faced the wrath of FJ, its still not a big deal. It's an internet forum and I'm a big girl who can handle it.  I'm still here and been more than a year.  It IS important to read at least a little while to have a general understanding of whats going on around here. I don't comment on the Rodriguez threads because I haven't fallen down that rabbit hole yet and I don't feel like looking like a moron. We have an extensive search feature just for that reason.  FJ has a culture of sorts and its nothing to with newbies and veterans. Reading more than a snippet here or there gives a newbie a more broad picture.  Some people here are very direct, myself included.  If you get all butt hurt over the response of 'one' person here, start making sweeping generalizations of who and what FJ must be about and immediately start ranting at the admins, then this might not be the place for you. Most of the people here are very welcoming and open-mided. Even when we disagree on things.

There is no reasonable reason to believe, based on what we know of the Duggars, their beliefs, and JBs insane control, that Jana has any sort of choice in her own love life or her sleeping arrangements. 

[Lulu22du]

Thank you VelociRapture for your great response. I can see now why it's possible she still lives in the girls room.

It's interesting though that all the people earlier that said I can't just come on here and state an opinion about Jana having her own room because there's already been conversations a long time ago on this topic. I'm still waiting for those people to provide me with the concrete evidence they say exists.

I was right that no one on here can say for certain what's going on with Jana because no one knows the Duggars.

 

 

[VelociRapture]

4 minutes ago, Lulu22du said:

Thank you VelociRapture for your great response. I can see now why it's possible she still lives in the girls room.
It's interesting though that all the people earlier that said I can't just come on here and state an opinion about Jana having her own room because there's already been conversations a long time ago on this topic.
I was right that no one on here can say for certain what's going on with Jana because no one knows the Duggars.

You're welcome. I'm sorry it took a while. I kept pausing while typing my response because my baby woke up. She's started rolling over during tummy time so I try to keep a close eye on her.

Did people say you couldn't bring up where Jana might be living? I must have missed that because I don't recall seeing it on this thread. (I'll try to look back and see if I can find what you're referencing.)

Generally speaking, I've noticed most posters don't say something like that unless it's a topic that's been extensively covered very recently. At that point you might be directed towards the posts where that conversation happened. Usually people only do that if the conversation has moved on and people aren't eager for it to be reintroduced again (I'm thinking the great, "Shoes at weddings war," and, "the battle of the Duggar daughter in pants.")

And yes, most posters here don't really know them. There are a handful of posters who may actually know them in real life, but I'm not sure whether those posters have been vetted by the Admins. Some may have been. Regardless, most of us don't know them personally and are going based off what we know from the shows, interviews, their blogs, books, what we know about IBLP/ATI, personal accounts from posters who fled this movement, etc. All evidence thus far points towards a high emphasis on accountability and a lack of privacy to ensure no one is tempted to sin. 

[Italiangirl]

I never think before that Tyler could sleep in Grandma Mary's old room it make sense that JB and Michelle would separate him from their boys bit i'm wondering if it could also be to good impress the social service or who supervise the situation eg "oh we give him a room so he could adjust better and also knows He is welcome ecc ecc" 

something like HP uncle's at start.... 

[Nikedagain?]

4 hours ago, Lulu22du said:

But right now this forum just feels so rigid in its thinking.

 

I hope you don't continue to feel that way. In my experience, just the opposite has always been true.

But when we have had heated discussions in the past, on some really sensitive threads - thinking Nauglers - we have had to ultimately agree to disagree many times.

I don't think anyone was displaying open hostility to you. We are all different, and have different belief systems and ways that we convey things. 

But I think that the more time you spend here, You'll find a bit of everything. At least I hope so! 

[Fascinated]

@Lulu22du, I hope you stay and continue posting. There have been several waves of new members brought in by Duggar events over the past couple of years that have resulted in major dust ups and hurt feelings.  Many of those new members are still here. Some are not.  And those who left did so with a somewhat justified, but incorrect opinion of FJ.  Well, as you've been reading here you probably kniw all that already. I sincerely hope you are one of the new members who sticks around.  

I, too, recommend checking out other families we discuss. There are many who are way more entertaining. And even more infuriating, believe it or not.  

[Lulu22du]

[mention=24824]Lulu22du[/mention], I hope you stay and continue posting. There have been several waves of new members brought in by Duggar events over the past couple of years that have resulted in major dust ups and hurt feelings.

I was thinking that I bet there have been tons of people pushed out of here by some rigid hostile members on here. Last night I was thinking I'm never posting again, but then I got all these private messages from members saying they never post because of the hostility from some old timers.

I thought that's not fair at all. So I continued to argue with the few members who were telling me I can't state an opinion here because this topic had already been discussed a long time ago and that they had come to a conclusion that was against what I was saying.

This Duggar forum is the first time I've ever participated in a online discussion and it has definitely been eye opening to see how a lot of people forget there's another human being sitting on the other end of the conversation.

Thank you for your kindness.

 

 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

2 hours ago, Bad Wolf said:

Didn't Anna have a semi private alcove in the girls' room when Josh was in Jesus jail? Maybe Jana  could be there. She would have a little privacy, but still be on hand if the little girls needed something. Maybe she at least gets her own bed now.

Yes, that is where Jana is sleeping to the best of our knowledge. The bed in the alcove has her name on it. I thought the alcove had been created for Jana and then lent out to Anna, but it's possible that it was created for Anna.

[anjulibai]

By "alcove", do you all mean the storage area or the sewing room?

[VelociRapture]

This isn't directed at anyone specific. Just something I think could be helpful and is relevant to the subject broached earlier. Hopefully it helps.  

I agree that older posters should do their best to remain civil when possible. There's a big learning curve when it comes to Board culture here and even people who lurk a long time can have trouble settling in at first.

But I do want to urge something similar for newer posters as well:

- Remember that many posters who have been here a long time are very knowledgeable about the fundamentalist world. If they try to correct you on something it's usually because they want to help, not because they're trying to show off or purposely be rude. This does happen, but most of the time people respond with good intentions.

- We have posters here who have personally lived and escaped fundamentalism and cults. Some of these posters have been vetted and found credible by Admins. If you come across one of these posters (and other posters will usually let you know if you do) then listen carefully to what they say. They have a far better understanding about families, such as the Duggars, than the rest of us do and are fantastic resources.

- Know that you are pretty much guaranteed to get into a dust up. It may be your fault or it may be someone else's fault - but it doesn't have to end with someone flouncing. There are various personalities here and some are very strong personalities. You don't have to like everyone or be the most popular poster in order to participate here.

- If you feel someone is being rude then it may help to ask for clarification before getting defensive. I personally do this a lot and I've found it's really effective at preventing misunderstandings. 

- Try to read a bit about a topic you're interested in before jumping right in. Many posters here are happy to help answer any questions you have, but it also gets tiring to constantly help point newer posters in the right direction. You absolutely don't need to be an expert, but a basic level of knowledge is a big help for everyone.  

- Finally, know that there is a huge amount of information on this site. There are topics related to religious fundamentalism, television programs, literature, crafts, food, pets, politics, makeup... you name it, we have it. If you get into an argument and need a break from a super active forum - like the Duggars - try exploring other parts of the site before completely writing us off. You may find other areas that interest you more and are a better fit.

I'll end with this: To anyone too nervous or scared to post, don't be. I know it's a bit intimidating at first, but actually participating is a lot of fun most of the time. You don't need to jump in if you're truly uncomfortable, but consider posting in a thread you do feel comfortable in and you're interested in.

If you do decide to participate in very active threads, then try easing into it at first - wait until there's a good thread drift going on or the discussion turns more light hearted. For example, there's a fun discussion on the potential name of SmugAnna's latest blessing in their thread. That could be a good way to jump in (just no molestation jokes... pretty please?)

Moving on...

1 hour ago, anjulibai said:

By "alcove", do you all mean the storage area or the sewing room?

Here are some photos:

Spoiler

There are actually three beds in the second photo - two twins and one full size I believe. You can't see it in that particular shot though. 

I believe that last photo is what people are mentioning when they say alcove. It's not that private, but better than nothing. I believe it's the area where Jessa and Jinger are seated in the pre-remodel photo. 

[LKUK]

I think what they mean by alcove is this bit in this picture, the other beds are back and right with a bit of a sloping roof

Also regards who is where i noticed in this short clip from earlier this year when Joy is giving a tour it sounds like she is saying the 3 youngest girls in this room
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgxR_MFdWrY  but it isnt really clear enough to hear whether she was going to say 'and jana' or anything as it cuts to something else

 

[CorruptionInc.]

I find it odd that Michelle has an office. 

I'm not sure what she would use it for? Unless she actually does do some "real estate" work from time to time?

Also that the parents have both their locked bedroom and subsequent offices to be by themselves if they need be. Why can't the children get their own spaces as well?

 

[bekkah]

10 minutes ago, CorruptionInc. said:

Also that the parents have both their locked bedroom and subsequent offices to be by themselves if they need be. Why can't the children get their own spaces as well?

 

It is because they are not adults and cannot be trusted. Michelle is married, therefore an adult in the culture and has a headship to follow. 

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

30 minutes ago, LKUK said:

I think what they mean by alcove is this bit in this picture, the other beds are back and right with a bit of a sloping roof

Also regards who is where i noticed in this short clip from earlier this year when Joy is giving a tour it sounds like she is saying the 3 youngest girls in this room
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgxR_MFdWrY  but it isnt really clear enough to hear whether she was going to say 'and jana' or anything as it cuts to something else

 

Joy says "there's only 3 older girls sleeping in here now, and the little girls" I believe (her, Jana, Jinger, and the 4 littles). 

Are there really only 5 beds in that room? I know when they built it there were only 5 girls + babies but....how did they fit 9 before 2014?!?! lol

[sunshine]

3 minutes ago, ihaveanexamintwodays said:

Joy says "there's only 3 older girls sleeping in here now, and the little girls" I believe (her, Jana, Jinger, and the 4 littles). 

Are there really only 5 beds in that room? I know when they built it there were only 5 girls + babies but....how did they fit 9 before 2014?!?! lol

At one point, they had bunk beds. I believe Jana and Jill shared a bed with one of the younger girls and then somewhere along the line they switch to beds that can be pushed under the bigger beds.

[kacarlton]

Didn't Anna have a semi private alcove in the girls' room when Josh was in Jesus jail? Maybe Jana  could be there. She would have a little privacy, but still be on hand if the little girls needed something. Maybe she at least gets her own bed now.

This makes me wonder who got up at night with the little boys when they were, well, little? Do we have a clue. It would have been hard for the sister moms to hear them and get to them with the way the rooms are set up, right? But I've never seen the older boys taking care of younger ones.

[Markie]

There's a strange support beam that separates part of the girls room a bit.  Jessa and Jinger's beds were there originally. That's what I meant by alcove.

[Lizzybet]

@lizbeth that sounds very difficult. 

It's good to have a safe place to give vent what's going on inside.

(Just now noticed our handles are VERY similar when I started responding to you).

[VelociRapture]

13 minutes ago, kacarlton said:

This makes me wonder who got up at night with the little boys when they were, well, little? Do we have a clue. It would have been hard for the sister moms to hear them and get to them with the way the rooms are set up, right? But I've never seen the older boys taking care of younger ones.

I believe all the younger children have bunked with the daughters. Not sure what age the sons would have been switched to the sons' dorm room. But Jana and Jill both bunked with their younger siblings. 

Heres an old link:

http://freejinger.yuku.com/topic/4112/Where-do-the-younger-Duggar-girls-sleep

[Bethella]

Here's the video where they redecorate the room, plus a screen shot that confirms Jana's bed is in the alcove. But I only see four beds in the room when there were seven girls still at home, maybe the little girls were sharing a bed? Other options could be that there are beds in the corner behind the camera or trundle beds.

[singsingsing]

5 hours ago, Lulu22du said:

I was right that no one on here can say for certain what's going on with Jana because no one knows the Duggars.

Yes, you are absolutely, 100% correct about that, and I think more people around here would do well to remember that.

However - based on what we do know about the Duggars, we can say with a fairly high degree of confidence whether certain things are more likely than others. For example, based on what we know of and have seen from the Duggars over the years, it's very likely that Jana is still sleeping in the girls' room. It's extremely unlikely that she's not living at home. It's extremely unlikely that she's had a boyfriend. It is possible that she's been in a courtship and it just never got out, but I'd say pretty doubtful.

I'm actually one who believes that Jim Bob is far from the evil, dictatorial mastermind many on FJ make him out to be. But (again, based on what we do know of the Duggars, and what they themselves have said), he most definitely has significant control over his children's relationships, particularly his daughters'. If he didn't like the idea of Jinger marrying Jeremy, for example, Jinger and Jeremy never would have even been allowed to enter the 'talking' phase. This is part of the courtship model which the young Duggar women have been raised on, and will vocally and enthusiastically advocate for.

I hope you stick around and keep posting. The Duggar threads tend to bring out the worst in everyone. Nerves get frayed. I've had more than a few spats over the years here, and I can't even remember what they were about now, or who I was arguing with. Sometimes the drama and pettiness reaches a boiling point and I just have to take a step back for a while, but something always keeps me coming back. Probably the in-depth, intelligent, thought-provoking and informative discussions about fundamentalism and its effects on the people inside of it. Also, I've been following certain families for so long now that I'm rather invested in their lives, even if it's just a casual interest in what happens to them. FJ can get wild and woolly at times, but when it's good, it's really good. Rufus be praised.