Anna, Josh, and the M-Kids, Part 10: Genes and Bedsheets

[nokidsmom]

29 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

 

I think Josh's appearance is a scream for help. That man is NOT happy, and he feels trapped, and he sort of is

 

Totally this, and it was true long before the AM scandals, in fact, the molestations should have been a sign to JB and J'chelle that something was seriously amiss with their son and get him (plus his sisters) into real world, serious counseling not the BS that passes for dealing with problems in their world.

He's had weight problems for some time, probably his stint in Jesus Jail did more for his physical health even as it didn't nothing to address the reason why he was there.  While in Jesus Jail, he was shielded from public and family reactions.  Now that he's back with the family, amongst the people he has wronged, with the underlying tensions abounding, I can see he would stress eat big time.

The most honest thing for him would be to own up and say it's not working but at this point he's trapped more than before.  He has no education, his work record isn't much, he was fired from the best job he could probably get, his reputation is shot as the molestations put him in far worse category than cheating, so he's dependent on Daddy or any people in their circles who may be sympathetic as far as a job goes.  He's got a wife who loves him but is fully committed to her beliefs, that's something that he can't change.  He is in every way stuck in the lifestyle.

It's too bad that his parents chose to handle the molestations in a way what would have protected his and his sisters' privacy later.   And maybe he could have realized earlier that he wasn't happy and do something about it before there were five kids, before he turned to AM.    But unfortunately, long term thinking and introspection isn't built into this lifestyle, quite the opposite.  

Josh may not be an angel but he was failed by his parents and in turn he failed his own family.  On some level he might realize that even if he can't fully articulate it.  

[TheDuggarnaut]

This discussion reminds me of when Josh and Boob did the weight loss challenge, and the Dr told Josh that he would be diabetic in (10?) years. Anna said something like "Ten years, that's 5 more kids" and how hard that could make it for them.

I think he's heavier now than he was then, and add the deep depression, hopelessness and frustration he feels= recipe for disaster.

[Chocolatedefrauded]

I still can get past JimBoob & J'chelle not getting him real counseling after he molested girls SEVERAL times. Most of us parents would react after one occurrence but he kept doing it. That means something- it was a compulsion or a cry for help or something else entirely. I understand burying your head in the sand once but he kept doing it. You can't ignore it or pretend it means nothing. Well, they did the next thing to ignoring it by sending him to construction-pray camp. You are horrible parents to ignore several cries for help from one kid.

[Timetostoplurking]

Stop it!!  Just stop it FJ, you are making me feel sorry for that POS!  

I really don't want to but...dang!  He looks awful!  

[eveandadam]

Yes he molested (at least) 5 underaged girls when he was himself a minor, and yes he willingly cheated on Anna on purpose (whatever "cheating" means).  He only said that he  became unfaithfull, he never  admitted to being physical with another woman (am I right here?). For all we know it could be that he only watched porn regularly or was talking online to a girl he found attractive. That could be all.

All his behavior screams of a man who wants to lead a normal life, but can't. He is trapped more than ever with soon to be 5 children, and  he's not even 30 years old. If he didn't have children, most people would say, you are not even 30 years old, you can start a new life easily. but with 5 kids, oh man.

Erm, I would even go as far and say: I feel bad for him and wish he wasn't married so young and would have gotten real help.

Edit: I want to see an interview with Josh, he needs to be prepared for this phycologically which could take a while, but still, he  should do an interview, an HONEST interview (Oprah?)

 

The more I think about the scandals, the more I feel sorry for Josh and the more I get angry at JB and Michelle, but especially JB.

 

 

 

 

[RosyDaisy]

I don't feel the least bit sorry for Josh. He made his bed, so he can lie in it.

[TheDuggarnaut]

Is he inherently a POS, or was he made that way? I've said it before, I cannot even imagine being the oldest kid in that family. The things he must have seen in the early years makes me shudder.

Yes, as an adult, he is responsible for his choices and could make better ones. At the same time, would any one of us want to trade lives with him, even pre-scandal? I can't imagine the pressure of being part of that family and their need to project perfection.

[ADoyle90815]

59 minutes ago, nokidsmom said:

He's had weight problems for some time, probably his stint in Jesus Jail did more for his physical health even as it didn't nothing to address the reason why he was there.  While in Jesus Jail, he was shielded from public and family reactions.  Now that he's back with the family, amongst the people he has wronged, with the underlying tensions abounding, I can see he would stress eat big time.

The most honest thing for him would be to own up and say it's not working but at this point he's trapped more than before.  He has no education, his work record isn't much, he was fired from the best job he could probably get, his reputation is shot as the molestations put him in far worse category than cheating, so he's dependent on Daddy or any people in their circles who may be sympathetic as far as a job goes.  He's got a wife who loves him but is fully committed to her beliefs, that's something that he can't change.  He is in every way stuck in the lifestyle.

It's too bad that his parents chose to handle the molestations in a way what would have protected his and his sisters' privacy later.   And maybe he could have realized earlier that he wasn't happy and do something about it before there were five kids, before he turned to AM.    But unfortunately, long term thinking and introspection isn't built into this lifestyle, quite the opposite.  

Josh may not be an angel but he was failed by his parents and in turn he failed his own family.  On some level he might realize that even if he can't fully articulate it.  

I agree that he's had weight problems for some time, and my opinion is that it probably started after he got married and out of the house as with others who got out of a strict household, he went overboard. While others might have responded to a strict upbringing by partying in college, he spent a lot of time posting pictures of food on Instagram. I didn't realize how unhealthy he looks until I saw the recent pictures on this thread, and he really looks awful.

Even then, I can't feel sorry for him, since as awful as the AM scandal was, the molestation was far worse. However, his asshole parents get part of the blame because they didn't get him and his victims into real counseling and just chose to sweep it under the rug, with Jesus Jail being the only "punishment" he got.

 

[nokidsmom]

Josh's parents failed him but at the same he's now an adult and so is responsible for his actions.  One can feel sorry for how his parents did not respond appropriately when he repeatedly molested his sisters when younger which is their failing but anything he's done as an adult, that's on him.     True, he's trapped and unhappy but he's also done some damage himself, namely to his wife and young family.  

And let's not forget that before the scandals, he had his job at the FRC where he was actively campaigning for restricting the rights of others, which had the potential to hurt other people.   One can feel sorry for Josh, recognize that he's trapped, he's been harmed but at the same time let's remember what he was at one time: a spokesperson for a hate group as defined by the Southern Poverty Law Center.    He was willing to do damage to others, if there's one silver lining to the scandals, it took him out of that role post haste and send him back to NWA.

 

[nokidsmom]

2 minutes ago, ADoyle90815 said:

I agree that he's had weight problems for some time, and my opinion is that it probably started after he got married and out of the house as with others who got out of a strict household, he went overboard. While others might have responded to a strict upbringing by partying in college, he spent a lot of time posting pictures of food on Instagram. I didn't realize how unhealthy he looks until I saw the recent pictures on this thread, and he really looks awful.

Even then, I can't feel sorry for him, since as awful as the AM scandal was, the molestation was far worse. However, his asshole parents get part of the blame because they didn't get him and his victims into real counseling and just chose to sweep it under the rug, with Jesus Jail being the only "punishment" he got.

 

I remember there was a lot of discussion about Josh's weight and how it was a sign of how he was responding to having some freedom after living in a strict home.  Also the fact that there was food insecurity in the pre-TLC days, that might have been a factor.

It seems that between the molestations and AM, Jesus Jail was a slap on the wrist but legally he was off the hook in both situations.   Victims have not come forward on the molestations and cheating is not against the law.    So he's off the hook until he messes up again.  And frankly I think it's a matter of time until he does so.  

[Gobsmacked]

22 hours ago, TheDuggarnaut said:

@BabyBottlePop I've only ever seen their men folk in suits for church, though.

Josh looks bloated and unhealthy.

Josh looks as though he doesn't belong in that photo. Anna has one arm around Michael, the other arm on her Mums shoulder. Marcus is hugging Annas arm. Josh looks as though he is  photobombing. It's as though he isn't part of the family/ group at all. Just a random at the back. 

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I think Josh's appearance is a scream for help. That man is NOT happy, and he feels trapped, and he sort of is.  He CAN and should for his well being Anna's and the soon to be FIVE children's well beings,  leave. He needs to take Anna, as her headships and say, NO MORE KIDS, we are moving away from my family and yours, and we are going to get real counseling. He can't work right now but TLC would pick this up in a  second, Josh, breaking away from the cult that damaged him to get help for his issues and try and go on and care of his wife and kids, hell yeah people would watch that. He isn't happy with this lifestyle and it will kill him sooner rather than later.  Anna signed up for the long haul, good and bad, she can go with him and learn how to live a "worldly" life or she can divorce him and go back to someone who will take her and her 5 kids in, since she will have left her husband, her family won't be too supportive and neither will the Duggar's.  She's already gotten the short end of the stick here she, sadly, needs to make the best of it or learn to support herself and 5 kids on her own. While it wouldn't be easy, it isn't impossible. 

My thought is that Josh should write a tell all and  use that as their avenue for getting out.

He could drive a bus or a truck for a living.

They could move to FL or anywhere in the south- it's not all that expensive compared to other regions.

The only chance they have is to move on. Anna's family is clearly forgiving. They have divorced and single parents in the mix. and they are still welcomed by their parents.

I have always thought that Josh could get out.

[socalrules]

I don't think Josh is depressed because he is married with kids. I think he is upset that he is no longer the Duggar golden boy. I am sure he would jump at the chance to have his old life back were he could work for a hate group, campaign for far right candidates and pontificate on how any number of reasons why us heathens have it all wrong and are going to hell. I think he likes being the golden boy and all the positive attention he received. I don't for a minute believe he wants to get some run of the mill job and live his life in obscurity. I don't believe he has changed nor do I believe he doesn't continue to look down on everyone who doesn't believe the same as he does. If he is unhappy, I don't care. He molested kids. Everyone moment of his life should be miserable. 

[Carm_88]

1 minute ago, socalrules said:

I don't think Josh is depressed because he is married with kids. 

I don't know. He look pretty miserable when Anna announced she was pregnant with Meredith. 

[Jana814]

I wonder if Josh is depressed because he finally realized he is not the "golden boy" his parents made him think he was. He was always treated like a king by his parents and now he is not. He has a wife and almost 5 kids to support. 

[twinmama]

22 hours ago, Greendoor said:

Perhaps he is trying to be less appealing to Anna.

lol I can't imagine they have 5 kids because Anna is so attracted to him that she can't help herself! He's just got dad bod IMO. 

20 hours ago, BabyBottlePop said:

I've been seeing all this stuff about how Josh didn't want a lot of kids and while I believe that, I don't get why he isn't doing something about it. 

Right? The part of their vows where he wasn't supposed to fuck around on his wife was optional but the condoms, no god damn way? Let's hope Redemption Baby is the last one. lol yeah right

5 hours ago, MoonFace said:

I'm disappointed that Anna is having a boy in that I think that if she were having a girl they could name her Mercy.   

Does "Fidelity" sound like a boys name?? Maybe they can name him Fidel? lol

2 hours ago, eveandadam said:

He is trapped more than ever with soon to be 5 children, and  he's not even 30 years old.

Being a MAN in this lifestyle, he is not trapped. He could get a real  job, buy some condoms and tell his wife no more kids. 5 kids is a lot but it's not impossible. 

[Evangeline]

I used to have a small amount of sympathy for Josh because he's so clearly unhappy, but I'm pretty much over it. Josh is only trapped because he's weak and lazy, not because he literally has no choice. He could easily put a stop to the baby-making but chooses not to. He could move away from his parents and start over (harder but not impossible) but chooses not to. He could tell his parents he loves and respects them but doesn't share all their beliefs, but chooses not to. This is all on him at this point.

I mean, who the fuck does he think he's kidding with his supposed "values"? Are people really being inspired to follow his cult's beliefs about sexuality, after it's made clear that adultery and molestation are totally forgivable but pulling out of your wife before you make another baby you can't support is going to send you straight to hell? Is anybody buying this?

[KelseyAnn]

Coming from a home that was as fucked up as the Duggar home (If not more) Josh really should be watched carefully. My Dad put on massive amounts of weight after my mom's abuse started to get worse with time, and it wasn't long after that that he tried to kill himself for the first time. 

POS that he is, Josh doesn't  deserve to feel so lowly about himself that he sees suicide as the only option- nobody should feel that way. And I'm saying this as someone who was molestation victim. 

The children in that house are that way because they were MADE that way. All to often victims become victimizers- it's all too easy to hurt other people when you are hurting yourself. 

I was in a bad way myself for the longest time after getting out- and you know what, if I hadn't forced myself into therapy, I very likely would've ended up like my mother. 

[RosyDaisy]

I don't think Josh is depressed because he is married with kids. I think he is upset that he is no longer the Duggar golden boy.

Exactly! I'll go a bit further and say he isn't sorry for anything he has done. He's just sorry he got caught (the molestations and Ashley Madison).

 

[TheDuggarnaut]

The Duggar kids have been so very sheltered that I wonder if they can conceive of another way of life, let alone have the critical thinking to explore other viewpoints and lifestyles.

If you've been told your entire life that you would BURN IN HELL if you lived any other way, that has to be hard to get past. 

I know the Kellers have been somewhat accepting of their kids who strayed, but I think JB is far too image conscious  (and a control freak) to accept anything less than total obedience.

The Duggar are a close family who always do everything together. 

Could Josh leave? Yes, but I think it would be much much harder than any of us realize.

[Jana814]

32 minutes ago, RosyDaisy said:

He's just sorry he got caught (the molestations and Ashley Madison).

 

Of course he is only sorry he got caught!  I've said this before I'm sure if Ashley Madison had not been hacked he would still be on the site and cheating. 

[nastyhobbitses]

3 hours ago, Jana814 said:

I wonder if Josh is depressed because he finally realized he is not the "golden boy" his parents made him think he was. He was always treated like a king by his parents and now he is not. He has a wife and almost 5 kids to support. 

I think that this is a big part of it. He's always been told that the sun shines out of his ass, and now he's been brought low due to his actions. I can feel a little sorry for him in that his parents failed him in every way they could fail him (not getting him proper counseling, not holding him accountable for his actions, teaching him that as the firstborn boy he's entitled to everything he wants), and I can feel sorry for him in that he clearly is not happy, but he's a shitty person, and he is the common denominator of his failures as a person.

[Bad Wolf]

I think #5 was to show the world, their families, and maybe even themselves that everything is now OK. Of course, it's not, and without a trained therapist they're not going to get better. Other FJers called the redemption baby. Sadly they were right. Poor little guy is now responsible for their happiness, and he hasn't been born yet.

[pook]

10 minutes ago, Bad Wolf said:

I think #5 was to show the world, their families, and maybe even themselves that everything is now OK. Of course, it's not, and without a trained therapist they're not going to get better. Other FJers called the redemption baby. Sadly they were right. Poor little guy is now responsible for their happiness, and he hasn't been born yet.

PREACH!

[lizzybee]

From the picture, I'll venture to say that it's possible that Josh and maybe the whole J+A family didn't go to church with the Wallers and Kellers. Michael's wearing a cap and t-shirt too which isn't exactly church clothes, especially for the types of churches they frequent where a polo is probably acceptable but not a cap. Perhaps they changed before this picture was taken, Josh and fam didn't go to church with them, or they were about to hit the road back to NWA and had on more comfortable clothes for driving? Just a conjecture. I'm not getting "just got back from church" vibes from J+A fam in that photo.