Pecans in the Big Blue House - Priss & TFDW Part 5

[nastyhobbitses]

41 minutes ago, TheDuggarnaut said:

Like I said in the Duggar forum, I found it odd that everyone else is dressed up, the other males are in suits, but Josh is in a casual shirt and baseball cap. Is he banished from church? Just not going? 

If he's like my dad after he gained a ton of weight in a fairly short period of time (since lost it all and then some), Josh just might be in a "these sweatpants are all that fits me right now" stage where his nice suits no longer fit, but he can't afford/be bothered to buy new ones that would. And he likely feels very self-conscious about his weight (which is why as much as I think he's scum who deserves every unkind word possible, I try to refrain from making fun of his weight), and may feel that wearing a suit (which has no give) would just make him stand out and be more uncomfortable.

And that's about the nicest, most sympathetic thing I can say about Josh without vomiting all over the place.

[JMO]

Holy crap! That's Josh?! I didn't even recognize him. I guess he's self medicating with food. 

[Melissa1977]

Some people uses food for fighting anxiety. I can't blame Josh for that. He's probably depressed or suffering some kind of anxiety but he can't go to a real doctor, take medecins nor divorcing (supposing he'd like to), have the sex he wants (supposing again), etc. He's going to have another kid he doesn't want to, and I'm not supposing here because he made clear 1-2 kids were enough for him.

Even running away it's not a solution. He's known as a molester! Who would hire him? His life is kinda prison. Maybe he deserves it but anyway junk food os the only drug/pleasure he has. So I predict he'll only go fatter. 

[JMO]

45 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

So I predict he'll only go fatter

I can see it now, in 5-10 years he'll be on My 600 Lb Life and we'll get the true story.  

[TheDuggarnaut]

5 hours ago, JMO said:

I can see it now, in 5-10 years he'll be on My 600 Lb Life and we'll get the true story.  

As much of a creep as he is, this makes me sad, because no one should be this desperately unhappy with their life. Satan didn't build a fortress in Josh's heart. Josh built his own fortress, and it looks very, very different from TTH. And most likely, he will never get to live in it.

[catlady]

30 minutes ago, TheDuggarnaut said:

As much of a creep as he is, this makes me sad, because no one should be this desperately unhappy with their life. Satan didn't build a fortress in Josh's heart. Josh built his own fortress, and it looks very, very different from TTH. And most likely, he will never get to live in it.

Josh's situation has parallels to David Rodrigues; DRod also gives the impression that he doesn't like his life.  both of them made their own colossal mistakes, are in way over their heads, and have no easy way out short of abandoning their wives and children.  they made their own choices after they got married, so it's hard to muster any sympathy for them.  but at the same time, it's also a little hard to see how miserable they are.

[Georgiana]

2 minutes ago, catlady said:

Josh's situation has parallels to David Rodrigues; DRod also gives the impression that he doesn't like his life.  both of them made their own colossal mistakes, are in way over their heads, and have no easy way out short of abandoning their wives and children.  they made their own choices after they got married, so it's hard to muster any sympathy for them.  but at the same time, it's also a little hard to see how miserable they are.

But at the same time, both of them keep WILLFULLY fellowshipping with their wives and bringing MORE children into this mess.  As men, I don't believe they have technically the same "duty" to their wives that their wives do to them.  Even still, they can say no. 

Step 1 to getting their lives under control is to STOP IMPREGNATING YOUR WIFE.  I have no sympathy for either until they complete this critical step.  

[catlady]

Just now, Georgiana said:

But at the same time, both of them keep WILLFULLY fellowshipping with their wives and bringing MORE children into this mess.  As men, I don't believe they have technically the same "duty" to their wives that their wives do to them.  Even still, they can say no. 

Step 1 to getting their lives under control is to STOP IMPREGNATING YOUR WIFE.  I have no sympathy for either until they complete this critical step.  

right, that's probably the biggest mistake they made.  they have no real jobs, but they keep agreeing to have more babies that they can't afford to support independently.  and neither one seems willing or able to tell his wife that more babies are not the answer.  

 

[TheDuggarnaut]

Babies are their business, though. Their cash cows. There never would have been a TV show if they hadn't had eleventy kids, and now their kids need to have lots of kids. It's the family business, more than cars or flipping homes or anything else.

[catlady]

24 minutes ago, TheDuggarnaut said:

Babies are their business, though. Their cash cows. There never would have been a TV show if they hadn't had eleventy kids, and now their kids need to have lots of kids. It's the family business, more than cars or flipping homes or anything else.

true, and while that may have been the case for Josh/Anna early on, it isn't so much now (they're not on tv anymore, so unless there's a collective paycheck for the entire family, they have no TLC income), and that was never the case for the Rods.

Anna and Jill wanted lots of babies; Josh played along for the show until everything blew up in his face (and yet they still haven't quit), and David seems way too passive to have ever told Jill that 12 kids was way too many (Jill really seems to be the headship in their house).  so they just kept knocking up their wives.  they look like good Christians and get attention and freebies for it, so they have more kids; but then they need more handouts.  and now that they have their collective 16.5 kids, what can they do?  their lives are a mess, they can't/won't get full-time jobs, David is constantly on the brink of poverty and Josh would be if not for JB&M.  and even if they got 40 hrs/week, they'd still be hardpressed to support their families without begging.  but if they were working all week, they wouldn't have as much time to grift for handouts; the problems become compounded.  

i don't know David's skillset beyond running grifted printing presses, but both of them are probably limited in what they can do and subsequently earn.  they're both beyond the point where they can look objectively* at their circumstances and say, this isn't going well so let's start over.  they might have been able to do that with 2 or 3 kids, but it's near impossible now.  so if they're looking at themselves with any introspection and thinking, "shit, i fucked up bigtime," it has to be even harder knowing that they're pretty much beyond the point of fixing it themselves.  yes that's incredibly sad, but it's largely self-inflicted**.  they're stuck in ruts that they will probably never get out of.  

*assuming they have the common sense to do so.

**accommodating for the fact that JB&M refused to give Josh a proper education; i don't know anything about David's childhood so i can't guess there.

[marmalade]

22 hours ago, Dandruff said:

Interesting that Pecan called Anna out by name, but not Josh.

Josh deleted his Instagram quite some time ago. 

[MamaJunebug]

22 hours ago, Dandruff said:

Interesting that Pecan called Anna out by name, but not Josh.

I wonder if he's wrassled Josh in any mud puddles lately. I'm betting: no.

[marmalade]

36 minutes ago, MamaJunebug said:

I wonder if he's wrassled Josh in any mud puddles lately. I'm betting: no.

Sadly, given Josh's current shape, such activity might bring on a coronary. I've never seen such a clear-cut example of someone eating their feelings due to sheer dissatisfaction of their lives. Anna can plaster on all the fake smiles that she wants; we can see the truth manifested in her husband. 

[TheDuggarnaut]

2 hours ago, marmalade said:

Sadly, given Josh's current shape, such activity might bring on a coronary. I've never seen such a clear-cut example of someone eating their feelings due to sheer dissatisfaction of their lives. Anna can plaster on all the fake smiles that she wants; we can see the truth manifested in her husband. 

That has to suck for Anna, because she must be aware of his dissatisfaction. Hard enough to stay married and forgive him, but to also realize he's miserable with you, yikes.

[HarleyQuinn]

Is the wind blowing Pricilla's dress? She can't be pregnant again, right?

[Kak]

19 hours ago, catlady said:

DRod also gives the impression that he doesn't like his life.  both of them made their own colossal mistakes, 

What mistakes did David make that makes him comparable to Josh? 

[uber frau]

He married Jill.

[catlady]

2 minutes ago, Kak said:

What mistakes did David make that makes him comparable to Josh? 

as i said earlier, he had more kids than he could reasonably support; he stayed with a dangerous religion into adulthood that made his lifestyle of grifting-rather-than-working possible; he didn't think through how he would support eleventy kids without a regular job; he and his wife threw away their privacy and put their lives and children on the internet for all to see.  and now he never seems happy with the result.

[GreyhoundFan]

59 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

Is the wind blowing Pricilla's dress? She can't be pregnant again, right?

I hope not. It's fairly dark between her and the railing, so it could just be the lighting.

[Kak]

Still not comparable with Josh's colossal mistakes. I'm not defending David, but he's not done the things Josh has. 

[Georgiana]

Some people do damage to others with large, scandalous events.  That's Josh.  He damaged his family with his sexual actions.  However, in the mean time, he has supported his family and made sure they were fed and clothed.  When he's NOT being a skeeze, he seems to be a decent parent.

Some people, however, do damage with a persistent pattern of smaller events.  That's David.  Sure there were no scandals, but he quit his job rather than work Fridays, indulges in junk food when his kids are hungry, refuses to give up on his fake ministry in order to support his kids.  While he may SEEM like a better parent than Josh, he's completely checked out...and at least Josh's kids have food and clothes that fit.  David's kids are wearing threadbare dress up clothes to Easter services, don't have fitting shoes, and are in danger of not getting groceries every week.  

It's adultery vs neglect.  One is less newsworthy, but they BOTH are SEVERELY damaging to their families (though at least Josh's damage is targeted at another adult rather than his kids).  

[Palimpsest]

19 hours ago, Georgiana said:

But at the same time, both of them keep WILLFULLY fellowshipping with their wives and bringing MORE children into this mess.  As men, I don't believe they have technically the same "duty" to their wives that their wives do to them.  Even still, they can say no. 

Step 1 to getting their lives under control is to STOP IMPREGNATING YOUR WIFE.  I have no sympathy for either until they complete this critical step.  

While I certainly agree with the thought, I think this is too sweeping and does not take the context into account.  It is not that simple.

Far be it for me to want to defend Josh Duggar (especially) or David R. they have both been thoroughly indoctrinated with Quiverfull and Patriarchal thinking.  I've often thought that these ideas are destructive to the men raised with this mindset as well as to the women.  It is not a bed of roses for them either.  It is a trap for them too.

Josh was raised to believe that the more children the better and was married off too young to a Quiverfull woman who seems equally obsessed with babies and making more babies.  Now his sins have caught up with him Anna is in the driver's seat and can, if she chooses, hold his guilt over his head and demand more babies to "heal" the marriage.  It is left up to him to try to provide for all those blessings while she is the SAHM.

His skill sets seem to be gift of the gab (useless after the scandal), a meager knowledge of cars, and possibly a slight ability to sell wrecked vehicles for far more than they are worth.  

18 minutes ago, catlady said:

as i said earlier, he had more kids than he could reasonably support; he stayed with a dangerous religion into adulthood that made his lifestyle of grifting-rather-than-working possible; he didn't think through how he would support eleventy kids without a regular job; he and his wife threw away their privacy and put their lives and children on the internet for all to see.  and now he never seems happy with the result.

David R. actually converted as a young adult.  The recent converts often fall harder and chant the slogans louder than those raised within the belief system.  Jill is definitely in the driver's seat.  Quite aside from her personality, she is the expert on things theological having been raised in the cult.  David strikes me as unbelievably passive and lazy but there may be things in his past that made and make him vulnerable to a narcissistic powerhouse like Jill.  

Even David Waller might be less keen on making babies if ATI collapsed tomorrow and he were left with no job, no conventional educational qualifications, and no discernable marketable skills except for conference planning and speaking in a very narrow area.  The burden of Priscilla expecting him to provide for the family, guide her every step, and give her more babies might send him into a tailspin too.

For all three, and many other of these young men, agreeing to have as many children as God provides may sound perfectly wonderful until reality sets in and they wonder where the heck the next meal is coming from.  

We usually see the women as the primary victims in all of this, and I still think they are.   However, there's also a level at which some (not all) of these Fundie women demand to be allowed to be submissive, absolve themselves from financial responsibility, and badger their husbands to be more 'Godly," worthy of submission, better providers and so on, that can be incredibly passive aggressive.  In some cases forget the passive - they can even be aggressive about it.  Jen Fishburne comes to mind.

[formergothardite]

David Rod seems to have completely give up. He seems like the type to naturally choose the path of least resistance and standing up to Jill day in and day out would be hard for someone with a strong personality. But while all of them are involved in a very disturbing belief system, in the end the ones who truly suffer are the children. No matter what happened in his childhood, no matter how narcissistic Jill is, David is allowing his babies to be locked in cages and allowing his children to be placed in life threatening situations. Josh's children don't appear to have it quite that bad, but at the very least they are going to grow up with what he did hanging over their heads. 

 

[Buzzard]

On 4/30/2017 at 6:49 PM, TheDuggarnaut said:

And besides this, I just watched David's youtube video of Priss talking about Easter cookies. I have no words. I guess they are clueless as to how she comes across, because these horrid videos keep happening. I don't blame Priscilla as she seems very sincere.

Josh is looking seriously rough! The facial hair is very odd, to me.  Do we know any other Gothard fundies with full beards like that? For some reason I thought "clean shaven" was a commandment.  You have to wonder if he's trying to change his entire appearance to hide from his past, and its not working out well.

[TheDuggarnaut]

3 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

Is the wind blowing Pricilla's dress? She can't be pregnant again, right?

Priscilla and Anna both seem to have perma-belly. They always look pregnant, whether they are or not.