Safe at Home 2: The Continuing Adventures of The Arndts

[Eternalbluepearl]

27 minutes ago, Corntree said:

OMG, does Rick really call the master bedroom the Upper Room?... Holy crap, how big is this man's ego?

I'm shocked by this too. I really think there is something not right with Rick and Cathy. They are living out a fantasy version of large family life and their eleventy sons and 1 daughter are stunted because of it.  No one in that house has moved on to the next stage of life. It's not healthy. 

[SolomonFundy]

My running theory is that Rick and Cathy have a specific, complicated, and ever-expanding list of requirements that the "boys" must meet before they can consider courtship. The list probably started out with the sorts of things that reasonable (if over-protective or controlling) parents may expect from an adult offspring: you must be able to support yourself, you must have a home of your own, your partner must be a Godly Woman, etc.. But as time went on, and the guys started hitting some of those milestones, they just kept pushing the bar further back: you must be able to support yourself, up to 4 of your brothers, AND contribute $XXX to the Family Fund every month, you must be able to make our house payment AND your own house payment, you must meet your future spouse at a baseball game AND she must wear white shorts and have a ponytail no less than 8" from her collar, etc..

This, along with some gaslighting and good ol' fashioned emotional abuse would be enough to keep the man-boys tied up in knots for at least the first decade or so of "adulthood". After that, they get daily applications of Rick's Soda Fountain choke-hold, and some extra special Tummy Touch Time with Cathy just to make sure that the tribe stays intact.

[Eternalbluepearl]

4 hours ago, Corntree said:

Well, David, the youngest, is I think 14.5, so maybe they will wait for him to turn 18 so they can all get married at once. 

I didn't realize that Rick retired before all of his kids were grown. I'm assuming Cathy doesn't work? So two non-working parents plus some minors have to be supported by the grown children. I see. Interesting. That's definitely a recipe for trapping the older siblings. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Notes from a small southern town:

I've known women who absolutely never wanted to be grandmother, no matter what.  Grandmother = old in their minds and they would never be old.

So they worked hard to keep their children single and did everything they could to discourage any romances:

She/ he just isn't right for you;  she/ he has a terrible reputation/ isn't good enough/ godly enough/ doesn't like your family/ is constantly rude to your father and I when you aren't around.  You need to finish college/law school/ med school/ grad school before you can even think about getting married.

For boys especially there was -- you need to be well established and able to afford a wife before thinking about getting married or -- you know how much I depend on you now that your father is gone, there just isn't anyone else I can turn to. 

Girls get -- you know how lonely I'll be in this big old house if you leave, well  (sigh, sniffle) I guess if you're determined to desert your mother I could sell this lovely home and move someplace smaller;  or this -- he's never going to amount to anything and make enough money to keep you the way you were raised. just look at all his mother had to go through with that father of his. 

If a child actually managed to survive that and did get married -- there was the pressure to not make the woman a grandmother yet  -- the "I'm just not old enough to be a grandmother -- why I don't even have any grey hair (dyed blonde) and I'm still a size 4"  ploy, 

Then if the child, despite the mother's best efforts, did make the woman a grandmother there was -- "well I may be a grandmother but I refuse to act like one or be called anything resembling that word".  I've known women who had their grandchildren call them Mimi, Toots, Lala, Honey, Lulu, and an inexplicable Petey.

I think Cathy may fall in the "not wanting/ not old enough" to be a grandmother realm, plus the added pressure on the boy-men that they are needed to support the family.  The boy-men know that the family cannot survive without their money, and none of them seem the type to say "Screw-you, not my job to be breadwinner Rick", and leave.

 

[Four is Enough]

The Upper Room: the children were all conceived there. Were they also all born there? Ew Ew Ew.

There's a distinct lack of testosterone because Cathy is feeding them all saltpeter on the daily.

Yes, I check the Arndt forum on the frequent.. I wish one or six would get loose and live a full life...

[JenniferJuniper]

I just realized Paul turned 37 several days before James's birthday.

No cake pics for him.  

[socalrules]

My guess is that none of the sons make enough to live on their own and support a family. Court reporting can pay well but you need to be out doing it everyday. They work for their own business and I doubt they heave enough business to have each on out on a job everyday. Likely, they pick and choose who gets the big job that week. There are a lot of National Court reporting agencies out there. The Ardnts would need to keep their rates low to compete, especially since most agencies have their own facilities where depositions can be held, where they have document depositories and lunch is given. Depositions in large cases usually are not taken at an attorney’s office but at the office of a court reporting agency that has multiple rooms for depositions. My guess is the Arndt business does smaller cases. Court reporting pays by the page, not the hour, so you need to longer depositions to make it lucrative. Maybe their business makes enough to where everyone is well taken care of as long as their live at the house but not to where everyone can do their own thing. I think they have the potential to make good money individually but I am not sure anyone pushing for them to reach their potential. 

[Eternalbluepearl]

Do the Arndts really travel around as a family filming a movie? Why? That seems like an awful lot of effort for something just the Arndts are likely to want to watch. There should be a second film crew following behind making a documentary about the Arndts. 

[Carm_88]

2 hours ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

There should be a second film crew following behind making a documentary about the Arndts. 

Oh please! You know that there are Arndts filming Arndts! It's Arndt-ception!  

[Black Aliss]

13 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

. . . . some extra special Tummy Touch Time with Cathy just to make sure that the tribe stays intact.

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

[katilac]

On 9/22/2017 at 3:18 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

 I'm sure the adult boys contribute to the costs of the home but they are still saving a lot of money. 

You are taking a much kinder view of the situation than I am. 

[JenniferJuniper]

On 9/25/2017 at 10:27 AM, Four is Enough said:

The Upper Room: the children were all conceived there. Were they also all born there? Ew Ew Ew.

They were neither conceived nor born there.  They didn't move into the house until around the time the youngest was born and I'm pretty sure he was born in a hospital, although the bedroom may symbolically represent the room they were all conceived in at the old homestead.

The Arndts didn't do home births.  If fact, they are forever getting medical check ups.  I think this is related to Rick (and probably Cathy's) obsession with staying as staying young and fit.  Nothing wrong with this, although I think his obsession with the weight of his adult offspring is a little bizarre.  

As for the "boys" saving money, I seriously doubt it. Rick hasn't worked in years and most of the family are not employed outside the home.  The sons making money through weddings and court reporting are almost certainly supporting the collective only.  I can't see Rick allowing for much in the way of savings hold backs for individuals as it could result in the flight of the most important sons. And who needs pocket money when Dad buys all your fountain sodas?

[Four is Enough]

On 9/25/2017 at 0:07 PM, socalrules said:

My guess is that none of the sons make enough to live on their own and support a family. Court reporting can pay well but you need to be out doing it everyday. They work for their own business and I doubt they heave enough business to have each on out on a job everyday. Likely, they pick and choose who gets the big job that week. 

A relative of mine is a court reporter. Not only does she do the stenography in the courtroom; she has a second job of transcribing the steno into a readable document at home. She makes EXCELLENT money doing this on the side. She and her husband travel to Europe every year, live in a pricey suburb, drive NICE cars money.. if the Arndt boys are transcribing the steno, two or three of them could be working from home every day and bringing home the moolah.

[MamaJunebug]

18 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

if the Arndt boys are transcribing the steno, two or three of them could be working from home every day and bringing home the moolah.

Well we've seen a younger Arndt working on a transcriptions note the family room floor, so could be!

Free Jana!

To thus day, every time I see the title of this thread my mind processes it as, "the CONTROLLING adventures of the Arndts."

[Inky]

I haven't been following the Arndts for very long - did Rick just up and decide one day to retire, or was it medically related? 

[GreyhoundFan]

22 hours ago, Inky said:

I haven't been following the Arndts for very long - did Rick just up and decide one day to retire, or was it medically related? 

He had to save his energy for endless reworkings of Vine Valley and car rides with the kidults to ensure they stay on the straight-and-narrow.

[JenniferJuniper]

3 minutes ago, GreyhoundFan said:

He had to save his energy for endless reworkings of Vine Valley and car rides with the kidults to ensure they stay on the straight-and-narrow.

Yes, he up and retired one day in his early to mid 50's to let his older sons support him while he lived the Vine Valley dream full time.

He's quite healthy, still playing in a men's soft league with the Famteam every blessed night between April and October.

[Carm_88]

6 minutes ago, JenniferJuniper said:

He's quite healthy, still playing in a men's soft league with the Famteam every blessed night between April and October.

His lifelong dream was to play with all of his sons! 

[JenniferJuniper]

6 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

His lifelong dream was to play with all of his sons! 

Yep.  Pity they don't have a choice in life long dreams.

[Inky]

You mean it was an option to just sit back and let the kids support us! They both have great jobs, and nicer homes than we do (I love our house - I'm not complaining). I guess the whole idea of raising children to become responsible INDEPENDENT adults must have bypassed those parents.

How can he look in a mirror? And it sounds like the wife supports and enables this too.

[JenniferJuniper]

49 minutes ago, Inky said:

I guess the whole idea of raising children to become responsible INDEPENDENT adults must have bypassed those parents.

No, they just don't believe in it.  They think everyone needs to be "Safe at Home".   Even when you are 37

[JenniferJuniper]

Enjoy this cute clip of Mark (age 34) and Jude (age 30).  They grow up so fast!

Spoiler

 

 

[Chocolatedefrauded]

wow, they act like goofy teenagers in that clip.

[Shiny]

I just made the connection that a lot of the boys are older than my husband and myself. I mean, I knew they were...I know 34 is older than 30...it just didn't really click. Yikes. That clip makes them look so old and sad. 

[JenniferJuniper]

Posting this because we so rarely hear Cathy speak about anything at length.  This is 17 years ago and Cathy is sounding very mainstream Catholic here and non-fundie.  

Spoiler