Michael and Brandon Keilen- Part 2

[Mela99]

1 hour ago, snickers34 said:

Also, they have literally 0.0 sexual chemistry, so it's kind of uncomfortable. Like your dad hitting on your mom.

Unless your dad is JB Duggar and you're on a golf course ...  

[Lurky]

Dear FJ parents.... what are those objects in her IG photos?  I think I can identify most of them, but the square thing with loops on it is baffling me.

[coffeebean7]

28 minutes ago, Lurky said:

Dear FJ parents.... what are those objects in her IG photos?  I think I can identify most of them, but the square thing with loops on it is baffling me.

I think they are taggie blankets for babies to play with.

[Lurky]

11 minutes ago, coffeebean7 said:

I think they are taggie blankets for babies to play with.

I'm grinning, as I literally have no idea what this means!    Why not just give the baby a flannel, then, as that would be a lot more washable and flexible?  I dunno, maybe they haven't crossed the Atlantic yet!

[SuhrEnity]

3 hours ago, Mela99 said:

Unless your dad is JB Duggar and you're on a golf course ...  

"Hey momma let's play a round of golf. Hump hump"

[klabourdeth]

I'm grinning, as I literally have no idea what this means!    Why not just give the baby a flannel, then, as that would be a lot more washable and flexible?  I dunno, maybe they haven't crossed the Atlantic yet!

Not sure but I think somebody mentioned the tags are either teething or some other comfort situation.

Also kind of off topic but is a point in time to stop the kid from dragging around their baby blanket every where? I heard that there was a age point for a pacifier

[Flossie]

6 hours ago, klabourdeth said:

Also kind of off topic, but is there a point in time to stop the kid from dragging around their baby blanket everywhere?

My kids all self-weaned from their "bankies".  When they are very small, bankie must go everywhere with them, even draped across their legs at the dinner table.  As they get a little older, bankie starts to do double duty as a toy.  My kids used them for capes, long skirts, doll bankies, tents, rafts, picnic blankets, home base for hide and seek, etc.  

Over time bankie stays mostly on the bed, or is brought out to snuggle with when sitting quietly watching TV or listening to a story.  Bankie might be taken to the car when going somewhere, but eventually it stays in the car, waiting patiently for the child's return.  

By the time the kids start school, bankie is pretty ratty and might live in the toy box or stuffed in a drawer.  Eventually it disappears altogether and we all wonder what happened to it.

[Coconut Flan]

Some infants like to just play/fiddle with the tags.  Usually they are smooth and kind of silky.  Grandson was a tag kid.  We bought a bunch of stuff with them.  Not all infants care about them obviously. 

[Dutchie]

On 20-5-2017 at 7:32 AM, klabourdeth said:

Not sure but I think somebody mentioned the tags are either teething or some other comfort situation.

Also kind of off topic but is a point in time to stop the kid from dragging around their baby blanket every where? I heard that there was a age point for a pacifier

I have a 35 year old friend, not weird at all, respectable lawyer,  husband and 2 kids who still carries hers around. Not everybody knows this it's in her purse. Only inner circle, the other day she offered hers to my son to play with (not keep) kind of adorable.

She is actually kind of a bad ass, so totally out of karakter, I love her more for it. 

[merg429]

I am not a Degreed Medical Professional, so I have no idea how much weight this holds, but I was listening to the local radio station the other day and one of the morning hosts had been trying for 9 years to have a baby and they were struggling. About six months ago they decided to adopt and the adoption went through. After preparing for the adoption, and becoming parents to a 6 year old, she found out she was pregnant! 

Her  doctor apparently told her this happens quite often in people who are struggling to conceive. Once the stress of that is gone, they find themselves pregnant. I wonder if Michael's stress to become pregnant is playing a role in all of this. 

[VGL]

1 hour ago, merg429 said:

I am not a Degreed Medical Professional, so I have no idea how much weight this holds, but I was listening to the local radio station the other day and one of the morning hosts had been trying for 9 years to have a baby and they were struggling. About six months ago they decided to adopt and the adoption went through. After preparing for the adoption, and becoming parents to a 6 year old, she found out she was pregnant! 

Her  doctor apparently told her this happens quite often in people who are struggling to conceive. Once the stress of that is gone, they find themselves pregnant. I wonder if Michael's stress to become pregnant is playing a role in all of this. 

This happened to my parents and one of my cousins.  Adopted two kids and then some years later got pregnant,

[SuhrEnity]

1 minute ago, VGL said:

This happened to my parents and one of my cousins.  Adopted two kids and then some years later got pregnant,

I know 3 couples this has happened with

[Hisey]

I am someone who adopted 2 kids and did not become pregnant (due to my husband's sterility, which is completely unaffected by my stress level).

I am happy for people who adopted and then got pregnant, though a little uncomfortable with the implication that the pregnancy was the ultimate goal or the most desirable outcome. But, perhaps it is ( at least for some people) and I guess there's nothing wrong with honesty.  I know my racist mother in law would have been delighted if our international adoption had somehow "led" to my becoming pregnant with an honest-to-goodness biological grandkid.  I'm not saying all people who talk this way are racist, I'm describing an extreme example

Most importantly, I wonder how it makes adopted kids feel to hear such things.  I'm willing to bet that my own adopted kids, reading this kind of stuff, would feel quietly sad but not say anything.

From what I've read,  the adoption-leads-to-pregnancy belief is just a myth. You have to remember, if you take a group of supposedly infertile couples who are having sex, a percentage of them will have a surprise pregnancy. That explains at least some of those pregnancies--they were ultimately going to have a pregnancy, they adopted while waiting on God's timing (lol), and then their pregnancy happened.

[just_ordinary]

Why would an adopted child feel bad when his/her parents surprisingly conceive? I'm sure no one is stupid enough to draw the conclusion: I don't get pregnant- let's adopt than it might happen.

[Pretzel]

Michael does make cute stuff. One thing Michael and Brandon can't be called is lazy. I am sure they're a productive couple. I am also sure they're not just talking the talk but walking the walk, which is also something that can't be said about other fundies, their parents for instance. 

[melon]

My son's  ex girlfriend was adopted,her parents had a biological child about  2 years later.

My oldest son's ex girlfriend's parents were older....she's 18 years older than I am and I was 2 when they got married.She told me she felt a little self-conscious about being an older parent.I told her about the cons of being a young parent,sometimes.

She also told me that she was married for 13 years before she became pregnant,she said she thought they were not going to have children,and that when she had the second child,son's ex,she was 38 years old,and figured that her and her husband were just grateful to have the two girls.

 

[Melissa1977]

13 hours ago, merg429 said:

I am not a Degreed Medical Professional, so I have no idea how much weight this holds, but I was listening to the local radio station the other day and one of the morning hosts had been trying for 9 years to have a baby and they were struggling. About six months ago they decided to adopt and the adoption went through. After preparing for the adoption, and becoming parents to a 6 year old, she found out she was pregnant! 

Her  doctor apparently told her this happens quite often in people who are struggling to conceive. Once the stress of that is gone, they find themselves pregnant. I wonder if Michael's stress to become pregnant is playing a role in all of this. 

I had a neighbour who had been married like 8 years and couldn't get pregnant, so adopted a kid. Even before taking this kid home, she got pregnant, and later she had 2 more, close in age. So after a decade, she finally became mom of 4 (1 adopted and 3 bio kids).

Also I had a friend whose parents were trying for more than 10 yeaars to get pregnant and finally gave up. It was 60-70's so fertility treatments were unusual. They accepted to be childless and bought a studio in the beach. Next year, they had to sold the studio and buy a bigger appartment because they had a baby girl and need more space.

[Melissa1977]

7 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

Why would an adopted child feel bad when his/her parents surprisingly conceive? I'm sure no one is stupid enough to draw the conclusion: I don't get pregnant- let's adopt than it might happen.

Because for most people (or at least for a lot of people) adoption is an alternative solution for having kids, not the main goal. I mean, often people who adopt have been trying hard to get pregnant and only when this fails, they decide to adopt.

I know not all families work this way. I know people who have adopted after having bio kids. Or people who doesn't want bio kids and prefer to adopt. But in general, adoption occurs when pregnancy doesn't success. At least it's common my country. Let's don't forget adoption is extremelly expensive here, because open/private  adoption is forbidden and there are very few healthy kids to adopt, so most people have to adopt internationally and it's a hard, long and expensive way.

So yes, I understand that an adopted kid may feel unconfortable or scared if his/her mom becomes pregnant. It also happens with older bio kids, but it can be harder for an adopted one, if he/she is old enough to know that was adopted because pregnancy wasn't happening.

[mstee]

8 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

Why would an adopted child feel bad when his/her parents surprisingly conceive? I'm sure no one is stupid enough to draw the conclusion: I don't get pregnant- let's adopt than it might happen.

As an adoptee, I know that my parents, as many parents who end up adopting, planned on having a biological child, and not adopting. Adoption a lot of times is a second or third choice plan for infertile couples. My parents went through surgeries and using donor sperm before they adopted me. If my parents had conceived naturally after adopting me, that would've been a tough pill to swallow.  I know that I would've felt like second place to that child (I feel like I should add that my parents never made me feel like a second or third choice-these are my own feelings). I don't think anyone is saying that couples go through the very expensive and sometimes long process of adoption just to somehow up their chances of naturally conceiving; rather, they are saying sometimes funny things happen like that and it can be rough for the adopted child. 

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

I'm adopted and my much younger sibling is not. Aside from some jealousy I felt over the fact that sibling looks SO much like my parents and I don't, it never bothered me. I didn't feel like I was any less their child or less loved or whatnot. I know it's different for everyone though. And sometimes how we think we'd feel is different than reality. 

[amendgitan]

On 3/27/2017 at 3:49 PM, actuallyjessica said:

If people are stupid enough to convert into a cult, they'd do so without smiling faces on TV or taggy blankets, or childrens books.

No one with actual brains would look at the belief system they use and think it was perfect. And if they do, well, they're perfect for IBLP life.

There are sheep everywhere, cults everywhere. People bowing down to particular organisations everywhere. It's all the same.
 

But the problem is, converts drag their innocent and unwitting children into the cult. Kids who then have to endure the ill effects of the patriarchy such as child abuse, domestic violence and gender oppression and are subject to years of indoctrination. 

Children are extremely impressionable and thus vulnerable to the indoctrination that often shackles them to such groups long into adulthood. 

In fact, I think it is the rare adult who, having been raised in such cults, has the strength, fortitude and independent spirit necessary to turning their backs on everything they've known, including their families and support systems, in order to extricate themselves from the sect, often without the life experience and education many people take for granted that enables adults to cope with adulthood and survive. 

So while I understand what you're saying- these people are typically preaching to the choir with their sales pitches- there are hapless victims that can be lured in via their giddily contented veneers. 

In fact, the knowledge of this is what stopped me from watching their shows for a long time (hypocritically, I started again. Admittedly, my fascination trumped my sense of integrity, I'm ashamed to say). These shows and the products these nutters sell package dangerous cults in an attractive and prosperous wrapping. 

They omit the drudgery, poverty, abuse, racism, sexism, mental health issues and medical neglect inherent to these groups, from the public eye. 

And that's extremely dangerous because exposure to the pretty package causes hundreds or even thousands of moderate Christian families to be possibly lured into fundamentalism, or even just aspects of it that contribute to the suffering and sorrow of women and children exposed to it. 

 

[amendgitan]

22 hours ago, merg429 said:

Her  doctor apparently told her this happens quite often in people who are struggling to conceive. Once the stress of that is gone, they find themselves pregnant. I wonder if Michael's stress to become pregnant is playing a role in all of this. 

All of what? The poor folks have been married less than two years and we are already acting as if they've been "struggling" with infertility for a decade? 

I mean I know that's how their culture likely views it- if she's not pregnant within a few months something must be wrong and God is finding a reason not to "bless" them - but goodness gracious. Are we supporting that crazy attitude? 

On 3/29/2017 at 7:10 AM, Mela99 said:

Could also be they want something to focus on to take away from their fertility worries. Gives them a project. I get that.

I'm happy for Micheal that she gets to enjoy some child-free years with her husband. They may not understand but a few years to bond as a couple and get to know each other well, before beginning the intense pressure and drudgery of spitting out blessing after blessing, well that's the real blessing. Their marriage will likely be tighter and stronger as a result of the time alone. 

Not to mention the benefit of being able to enjoy each other as young, child-free people instead of endlessly bloated from pregnancy or continually tired and stressed from caring for and/or trying to provide for all those demanding and needy little "treasures."

On 5/19/2017 at 9:08 AM, infooverload said:

Oh good I wasn't the only one who was a little suprised, by that. Although not as bad as seeing the words sweet fellowship and going ick, now I need mental bleach because we all know what it means. I have to say I'm glad she is staying busy. I keep wondering how much longer they will be in the Chicago area.

You know maybe I'm in the minority but I think these two are in love and are enjoying being intimate with one another. Yeah, it is kind of jarring and weird after the absolute prudery and repression these people display but now they're somewhat free and seeming to be having fun and I'm super happy for them.  

On 5/20/2017 at 4:43 AM, Flossie said:

My kids all self-weaned from their "bankies". 

"Bankies"! Cutest childhood anecdote I've heard in awhile. 

[JesSky03]

16 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

I'm sure no one is stupid enough to draw the conclusion: I don't get pregnant- let's adopt than it might happen.

Yet people still seem to offer this as a suggestion to those struggling with infertility. Just a month ago someone said to me "just adopt then you'll get pregnant!" 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

1 hour ago, JesSky03 said:

Yet people still seem to offer this as a suggestion to those struggling with infertility. Just a month ago someone said to me "just adopt then you'll get pregnant!" 

"Just adopt" makes me crazy. It's incredibly difficult to adopt. "Then you'll get pregnant" makes me even crazier.

Though I should probably admit that I just got pregnant naturally after taking over a year off from the nightmare that is IVF.

[SassyPants]

Those tags are for sensory/tactile introduction? stimulation? Different feels...yada, yada. I made one for my GD when she was a baby.