The Stinking Housewife vs. Wedding Dresses

[emmiedahl]

If she doesn't have kids, that explains a lot. It's easy to romanticize families when you aren't waking up to someone vomiting in your hair.

[lilwriter85]

If she doesn't have kids, that explains a lot. It's easy to romanticize families when you aren't waking up to someone vomiting in your hair.

It does explain a lot. She does seem romanticize or have unrealistic views of family. The part about the cake smashing showed that she probably expects that some babies can eat cake in a appropriate manner. I don't see anything wrong with letting babies and toddler smash up cakes. When one of my nephews turned 1, my aunt made a special small cake for him to smash up and he did eat some of it, but he had fun.

The Thinking Houswife will probably be the type of mother who will bitch for any little thing.

[helloemi]

It is not implying that you should burn your dress to make a social statement or anything.

It's about the juxtiposition of something classic, like a wedding dress, against something raw and provocative.

http://www.earth13.com/2011/09/reana-and-patrick/

(She has a cropped version of my dress so I had to post this as an example!)

It's saying that you "trash the dress" in the process of taking more edgy photos, like climbing up a mountain of sand or running up along the edge of the ocean. With my wedding, we did ours on the beach and because of this the bottom of it is pretty much ruined. Sand and salt water is not the best for silk and lace. I'm thrilled with our pictures and the memories of my fearless photographer friend.

I am thinking of framing a large portion of the lace, because honestly...I don't really think my (potential) daughter would want to wear it.

[Dinorah]

I'd never heard of the "trash the dress" trend. It does sound a bit silly to me (like many wedding fads, really) but why make such a fuss about it? This woman needs to get a life. And the idea that it implies the wedding is no longer "sacred" for something so trivial as a dress is ridiculous.

[Guest Anonymous]

I'd never heard of the "trash the dress" trend. It does sound a bit silly to me (like many wedding fads, really) but why make such a fuss about it? This woman needs to get a life. And the idea that it implies the wedding is no longer "sacred" for something so trivial as a dress is ridiculous.

The problem is, she HAS a life. But she wants ours.

[emeraldskull]

I am probably similar in size to my mom when she got married, but her dress was very 80s, and borrowed. :-P I don't think I'm going to hunt it down so I can borrow it for my wedding too. :-P

I'm not into the whole "trash the wedding dress", but what business is it of mine if someone else wants to do it? :-P Just because I personally wouldn't want to doesn't make it "wrong". Good grief.

I am 100% against my hypothetical future husband smashing cake in my face, and I don't really like to see when other people do it... but again, different strokes for different folks. It's not a life or death issue, and not really my problem other than in my own wedding.

The Stinking H. is waaaay too preoccupied with sex and all things related. Is that really what every person attending a wedding should be thinking about the whole time? Sex? Why would anyone want to invite all their guests to imagine their first sexual encounter happening that night? So weird. And creepy. And wrong.

[emmiedahl]

She really does not have a life.

Imagine being a middle aged fundie housekeeper who never managed to fulfill what her culture considers the most important and sacred role of a woman: giving birth. All she has left are nightly dishes and bitching about the downfall of society. It really explains a lot.

It also explains her hatred of pizza. Uh, I don't buy pizza because I think it is better than filet mignon on a bed of field greens. I buy it because it is fast, cheap and my kids will eat it without a fuss (as long as it is only cheese, the shit hits the proverbial fan if there are toppings). Moms get that. TH does not.

[Austin]

If she doesn't have kids, that explains a lot. It's easy to romanticize families when you aren't waking up to someone vomiting in your hair.

trufax!

[Dinorah]

It just baffles me how people can get their panties in a twist for things that aren't really important at all. I agree with the poster who said it's stupid to destroy a beautful, expensive dress, but if I had to become so unhappy and outraged each time I come across something I find silly or tacky...

[AtroposHeart]

"Another reason many women do not wear their mother’s wedding gown is because they are too fat to fit the vintage dress"

Why do they hate fat people so much?

It's lines like this that really make me think thay she is a man. I'm not saying that there aren't extreamely misogynistic women out there, I know from experience that there are, but this line strikes me as coming from a misognyistic man.

Most woman ,even those who hate other women, realize that women come in more shapes and sizes than just waif and obese. Most men know this too, but the misogynistic ones are good at putting women into boxes.

[Kitty]

Next thing you know she'll bitch about wedding dresses not being pure white because there's so few virgin brides anymore.

[helloemi]

While I have seen full figured fundie bloggers and know that they exist. There seems to be a general sense of size-ism among many of them. The obsession with the purity of food/trendy gluten allergies/having to even grind your own grain boarders on orthorexia in my opinion.

I have seen many of them draw the conclusion of fat = undisciplined/lazy/selfish/gluttony

I think that many fundies obsess over food/their weight because it's the only thing they can control. I know it has been discussed on here quite a bit in the past.

[Bozoette]

Well, my mom and pop married in 1933; she wore a purple velvet dress. I would have loved to have seen it (and maybe even worn it), but it didn't exist (and hadn't for years) when I got married in 1980! My niece thought about wearing my older sister's dress (vintage 1961), but when my sis and my niece took it out of the box, it was motheaten and yellowed - oh well!!

[bananacat]

I don't see how trashing a dress is any more wasteful than keeping the dress in a box or in a closet forever. The point of having white wedding dresses in the first place is to only get one use out of them. If you find that wasteful, then don't spend a lot of money on a wedding dress. Paying to have it put into a display box to keep forever doesn't suddenly make you less wasteful than trashing the dress.

As for the fat thing, there's really more to it than what the houswife thinks. I could lose tons of weight and become skinny, but my mom's cup size is about a B and mine is H or I. No amount of weight loss will make my breasts small enough to fit into anything of my mother's. I'm also several inches taller than her, and she has weirdly short arms. It takes more than weight loss to fit into a certain dress.

I agree with others who think the housewife could be a man. There are some fat-shaming women out there, but nearly all women would realize that the fit of clothing has a lot more factors than just weight. Only a boxy, average-height man could think that losing weight will make you fit into anything.

[Dinorah]

Well, but putting it in a box means that you can still use it at some point or other, have it adapted, or even sell it. What do you get from trashing apart from the pictures. It seems that people want more and more extravagant weddings and you always need to come up with some new idea to be different.

Anyway, that's why I like the idea of plain wedding dresses that can be worn again, perhaps with alteration.

[starfish]

I think the stinking lousewife had stated she or he has two sons, both of whom are young adult. One just graduated high school and one is older.

She mentioned that one of them graduated high school earlier in the summer.

She mentions them more recently in her diatribe on the evil government schools and why everyone including Andrea Yates should be homeschooling.

She's just flat out creepy about the whole virginal wedding thing. When Chelsea Clinton got married, she made a mean comment about brides looking too confident and happy on their wedding day. She wants them terrified of impending sex. FREAK.

[emmiedahl]

Darn, she has kids? I totally thought I had figured out the source of her crayzee. Maybe she's just a hateful bitch after all.

[Kitty]

While I have seen full figured fundie bloggers and know that they exist. There seems to be a general sense of size-ism among many of them. The obsession with the purity of food/trendy gluten allergies/having to even grind your own grain boarders on orthorexia in my opinion.

I have seen many of them draw the conclusion of fat = undisciplined/lazy/selfish/gluttony

I think that many fundies obsess over food/their weight because it's the only thing they can control. I know it has been discussed on here quite a bit in the past.

I think it's more that they're super-perfectionists who want control over EVERYTHING. It's the only thing I can think of why women would convert to dresses/skirts-only, KJV, billions of kids, headcovering, etc. as well as obsessive cleaning and dieting. They find their lives lacking, so they control absolutely every aspect they can of their lives as well as everyone else's. And then, being the over-simplistic thinkers they are, wonder why they're so stressed over all the control and why they can't seem to keep up. I think this is a major motivation for fundie women sticking around too- they can't conceive of a life without such a rigid structure. I think it does manifest itself in one's dietary habits- eating disorders ARE psychological.

[keen23]

I wouldn't have wanted to wear my Mom's dress- holy lace explosion Batman! Totally not my style, at all.

I do own my great-great-aunt's wedding dress. It is ivory satin, and my grandmother had kept it in storage since they bought their house in 1948. We found the dress when we cleared out my grandmother's house when she was selling it. It still had the original bill of sale from 1928. It looks a lot like this one- http://www.ebay.com/itm/ws/eBayISAPI.dl ... &hlp=false

[lilwriter85]

Darn, she has kids? I totally thought I had figured out the source of her crayzee. Maybe she's just a hateful bitch after all.

I agree now that we have found out that she has kids, I think she is just hateful bitch too. I don't read her blog regularly because some of the stuff is really annoying. I wonder if her sons are allowed to have fun.

[liltwinstar]

WRT to the fat shaming/hatred - for a lot of fundie women, being thing is the *only* way to be attractive. They're not allowed to wear flattering clothes, hairstyles, shoes, makeup, underwear, etc, and sometimes they have additional restrictions with things like headcoverings, no jewelery, etc. So really, the only way to be attractive is to be thin, because you aren't allowed any other physical enhancement - even something "innocent" like cutting your hair to a flattering length. Plus, then when all the ugly stuff comes off, you can still feel good about yourself (in theory).

There's huge pressure to be a sex object for your husband, and I've even seen sermons on youtube where preachers would preach to women about staying thin to keep the husband happy. I say women should make themselves happy, but what do I know? Plus, when you're busy birthing a kid a year, when do you have time to lose the baby weight???

Anyway, just on a general cultural level, we expect brides to be waif-like, and the Wedding Industrial Complex seems very slow to recognize the fact that fat women (and men) get married too! There is such a narrow standard of "attractive" anyway, and it's about a billion times worse for brides (ok it was for me) because there's an expectation that on your wedding day you will be at the absolute pinnacle of your beauty. Plus, the pictures live forever, so you want to look good for those. It's a ridiculous amount of pressure.

[emmiedahl]

I think all of the fundie women I know are either very overweight or obese. I always assumed that they were eating their emotions, combined with having so many kids.

[NurseNell]

It still had the original bill of sale from 1928.

You tell us that and then DON"T tell us how much it cost. :?

Nell

[emeraldskull]

She's just flat out creepy about the whole virginal wedding thing. When Chelsea Clinton got married, she made a mean comment about brides looking too confident and happy on their wedding day. She wants them terrified of impending sex. FREAK.

I agree. Even though I do plan on being a virgin on my wedding night, I won't be fainting from fear of the encounter... I'll be just as confident and happy as the next bride... :-P

[bananacat]

Well, but putting it in a box means that you can still use it at some point or other, have it adapted, or even sell it. What do you get from trashing apart from the pictures. It seems that people want more and more extravagant weddings and you always need to come up with some new idea to be different.

Anyway, that's why I like the idea of plain wedding dresses that can be worn again, perhaps with alteration.

I disagree. While you could theoretically use it again or sell it, very few women actually do that. Unless you sell it within a year or two, nobody will want to buy your dated dress anyway. If you get divorced and remarried, you probably won't want to wear the same dress. And if you want to give it to a daughter, that brings up all the issues that we've already discussed. Al the women I know just put their wedding dresses in boxes and have no intention of ever doing anything with them.