Bates Family Part 16 - Babystep Bates

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

7 hours ago, season of life said:

Can Alyssa disable comments on her IG? 

Becky M is irritating. I've seen multiple comments asking people if she can follow their accounts, making over the top compliments about fundies and their lives, and requesting personal info about romantic pursuits. Can we have a thread for her?!

Becky_m is totally nuts. Come to think of it, I'd be really surprised if she doesn't read here. 

[season of life]

John is still posting. A woman commented that she thought Alyssa taking a break meant that the devil was winning because she gave into haters. Why does the devil care about Instagram posts? 

[nastyhobbitses]

5 minutes ago, season of life said:

John is still posting. A woman commented that she thought Alyssa taking a break meant that the devil was winning because she gave into haters. Why does the devil care about Instagram posts? 

Beelzebub usually pencils in "caring about stuff on Instagram" in between writing rock n roll songs to corrupt the impressionable youth and practicing for impromptu fiddling competitions.

[RosyDaisy]

If becky_m isn't family or a family friend, she needs to be watched. I'm more concerned about becky_m than the "haters".

[season of life]

Agreed. Sometimes it's the obsessed people you have to worry about more. She only has 5 Instagram posts and I'm sure Becky's entire account is so she can keep her eyes on the Bates/Duggars. She needs to back off.

[LawsonBatesEgo]

On 6/22/2016 at 5:50 PM, ophelia said:

I actually like that picture of Gil and Zach. Gil looks horrible, but those were the late 80's/early 90's and everybody looked pretty awful. I like this pic because it shows him as a normal guy, in normal clothes. This was years before they joined ATI and how great it would have been if they never got in touch with it.

Yeah, I'm 29 and my dad was rocking the same creepy pornstache/mullet combo in a ton of my baby/toddler pics. It's one of those looks that dated horribly but was actually 'cool' at the time. 

[19 cats and counting]

1 hour ago, RosyDaisy said:

If becky_m isn't family or a family friend, she needs to be watched. I'm more concerned about becky_m than the "haters".

Becky also outed the identity of Alyssa's private account in one of her comments.  I'd be more concerned about her too because sometimes superfans are crazy and the stalking could turn deadly.  And social media just makes it easier.

[MorningMist]

Becky M is probably planning a coup to get into the family. Lawson's single, she'd probably got an elaborate plan to marry him.

[19 cats and counting]

1 minute ago, MorningMist said:

Becky M is probably planning a coup to get into the family. Lawson's single, she'd probably got an elaborate plan to marry him.

I'm sure she is.  But also given recent events (Christina Grimme), I also am very skeptical of superfans.

[LawsonBatesEgo]

15 hours ago, 16strong said:

Alyssa has sworn off social media for the foreseeable future because people are saying "mean things."

Oh, Alyssa. Please grow up. There is a legitimate difference between mean comments and objective observations. I'm sorry you had to grow up in such an oppressive and bigoted family, but you need to own up to the fact that your family does not hold beliefs that others view as welcoming or loving.

For fear of being labelled a leg humper, I think it is a bit harsh to say she needs to 'grow up'. She may be a semi public figure who has appeared on her parent's TV Show, but she is still a human being with feelings and there is only so many times you can read a slew of comments wishing death on you, criticising your weight or saying  your baby is ugly before it starts to get to you. She was obviously getting affected by it, so made what I actually think is a mature decision.....stepping away from something that was clearly making her upset. She is under no obligation to sit there and tolerate people being nasty to her and to continue posting pictures and deal with a slew of nastiness every time.  

Sometimes I feel like people (not necessarily you) expect public figures to put up with all kinds of abuse just because 'they're famous'. But just because someone is on TV doesn't mean they should be told their baby is ugly all the time. One of the big reasons I'd fucking HATE being famous is that I can border on being thin skinned and would really struggle to handle the 'haters'. Alyssa is not a baby for deciding she finds dealing with 'haters' hurtful and/or stressful and that she wants to step away from using a public social media account. I actually think it takes maturity and self awareness to say 'you know what....this is bothering/upsetting me and is doing nothing but stressing me out. So I'm not going to do it anymore'. 

I can be critical and snarky on FJ, but I would never in a million years go and leave a nasty comment on any of these people's IG accounts. It is the social media equivalent of walking up to someone's face and being nasty to them, as opposed to FJ where if any of these people read what I've written, they've clearly come looking to read comments about themselves on a place they know can be critical of their family and their TV show so clearly aren't expecting it to be all positive. 

It's like if a guy sends a dick pick without being asked for one, it's unsolicited and the person on the end of it has the right to be annoyed. But if they go to a website that they know frequently has dick picks posted on it, they can't exactly get mad when they see one, you know what I mean? 

[season of life]

Looks like this Instagram user has beef with Becky. This is the same user who pointed out how clingy she was and told her to get a hobby. The way it's worded makes me think they had a conversation, but Becky made no comments about idolatry or bickering. Did she delete them?

Spoiler

 

 

[Casserole]

Becky is the reason those "Bates for a Day" and open-to-the-public-gift-grab-graduation parties make me nervous. Jebus cannot save you from crazy, y'all. 

[season of life]

I think people brought up the danger of an open invite, Casserole, in a previous thread. Becky strikes me as a woman who'd move mountains to get in with the Bates family. She seems to have no other identity than obsessive fan.

[SilverBeach]

"Imagine coming from a family where if your sister picks on, you have to give her your most prized possession. (Jana and Jessa). "

Jana's recounting of this event is haunting. She was crying and clearly upset. I think it affected her deeply and somehow figures into her singleness. How terrible to be born to clueless fucktwads like Boob and Mechelle who think boundaries are sin. In a regular family the annoying sibling would have been told to leave other people's shit alone. Or would have gotten a beat down from the older sibling. But no, keep sweet, stuff your emotions so far down that you don't know that you have them. A recipe for poor mental health.

I detest Boob and Mechelle.

[nastyhobbitses]

17 minutes ago, LawsonBatesEgo said:

For fear of being labelled a leg humper, I think it is a bit harsh to say she needs to 'grow up'. She may be a semi public figure who has appeared on her parent's TV Show, but she is still a human being with feelings and there is only so many times you can read a slew of comments wishing death on you, criticising your weight or saying  your baby is ugly before it starts to get to you. She was obviously getting affected by it, so made what I actually think is a mature decision.....stepping away from something that was clearly making her upset. She is under no obligation to sit there and tolerate people being nasty to her and to continue posting pictures and deal with a slew of nastiness every time.  

Sometimes I feel like people (not necessarily you) expect public figures to put up with all kinds of abuse just because 'they're famous'. But just because someone is on TV doesn't mean they should be told their baby is ugly all the time. One of the big reasons I'd fucking HATE being famous is that I can border on being thin skinned and would really struggle to handle the 'haters'. Alyssa is not a baby for deciding she finds dealing with 'haters' hurtful and/or stressful and that she wants to step away from using a public social media account. I actually think it takes maturity and self awareness to say 'you know what....this is bothering/upsetting me and is doing nothing but stressing me out. So I'm not going to do it anymore'. 

I can be critical and snarky on FJ, but I would never in a million years go and leave a nasty comment on any of these people's IG accounts. It is the social media equivalent of walking up to someone's face and being nasty to them, as opposed to FJ where if any of these people read what I've written, they've clearly come looking to read comments about themselves on a place they know can be critical of their family and their TV show so clearly aren't expecting it to be all positive. 

It's like if a guy sends a dick pick without being asked for one, it's unsolicited and the person on the end of it has the right to be annoyed. But if they go to a website that they know frequently has dick picks posted on it, they can't exactly get mad when they see one, you know what I mean? 

A-freakin'-men. No, no matter how famous you are, you don't have to (and shouldn't have to) stand there and take people saying nasty, untrue, or hateful things about you, online or off. I think that public figures need to steel themselves in some respects for dealing with that kind of stuff, because people are assholes, but if your Instagram page is just comment after comment of people saying nasty things to you, you have every right to say "fuck this, I'm not putting up with this kind of negativity right now".

[VelociRapture]

25 minutes ago, 19 cats and counting said:

I'm sure she is.  But also given recent events (Christina Grimme), I also am very skeptical of superfans.

Christina is a very recent case, but this has always been a serious issue. Social media has absolutely made it far easier to reach and find people though. As much as I despise these people's beliefs, I do sincerely hope they realize the risk they may be taking and that they proceed with caution - especially the couple's with young children. I don't think anyone here wants to see someone hurt (or worse) due to overly obsessed fans.

As for Alyssa's break - if she feels this is the best option for her and her family then I say good for her. Some of the criticism is well deserved (such as comments about the car seat or people questioning her family's beliefs) - but others, like comments about her one year-old's appearance, are completely uncalled for. No parent should have to be subjected to that on a regular basis. If she feels this is a way to protect her child then I say good for her for prioritizing her baby.

Plus, as others have mentioned, it's one less person using SM to promote the whole, "We're totally a normal family y'all! Nothing shady or creepy or illegal to see here!"

[season of life]

There are other celebrities who have been killed by fans/stalkers/strangers. Dimebag Darrell, for one.

I'm not sure how long Alyssa's break will last.

[19 cats and counting]

I despise their beliefs too but at the end of the day we are all human beings.  

I brought up Christina Grimme because it is a very recent event.  She's not the first celebrity to have been killed by a fan/stalker.

Just because you're a (semi) public figure doesn't mean that you have to take shit people are saying about your daughter.  Even Kim Kardashian should not have to put up with people saying shit about her children's appearance.  And even in politics (which is dirty and mud-slinging), people generally leave children alone.

For their sake, I hope that the Bates do a better job at not opening up so many events to the public (or at least having security).  They already have one uber stalker (Becky) and I wonder about how many more are in the woodwork.  The public appearances with fans also outed family news (Tori's courtship) before the family was ready to.

Next time there's a wedding or a graduation party (or any other big event) they need to ask themselves if the gifts are worth their privacy.  (Wasn't one of their kids' weddings basically open to the public or is this another family?)

[Casserole]

I'm surprised she was allowed to delete. She's always had the private, "real" account which I assume is her in a bathing suit at the beach and being "normal" without the crazies telling her she's going to hell for wearing shorts in Florida's 107 degree humidity. I always assumed the public account was obligatory and part of an UP social media contract because otherwise why have two accounts? 

But this is coming from a girl with 1 private, locked down instagram with zero followers I do not personally know and zero other forms of social media so I don't always get it. 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

3 minutes ago, Casserole said:

I'm surprised she was allowed to delete. She's always had the private, "real" account which I assume is her in a bathing suit at the beach and being "normal" without the crazies telling her she's going to hell for wearing shorts in Florida's 107 degree humidity. I always assumed the public account was obligatory and part of an UP social media contract because otherwise why have two accounts? 

But this is coming from a girl with 1 private, locked down instagram with zero followers I do not personally know and zero other forms of social media so I don't always get it. 

Same here.

I have 288 followers on my locked instagram which sounds like a lot, but I'm half Latina so like, 200 of them are related to me. 

[19 cats and counting]

My Instagram is public, but I also don't put any pictures of myself on it.  If people want to snark on artsy nature pics or cats, go right ahead.

[VelociRapture]

12 minutes ago, Casserole said:

I'm surprised she was allowed to delete. She's always had the private, "real" account which I assume is her in a bathing suit at the beach and being "normal" without the crazies telling her she's going to hell for wearing shorts in Florida's 107 degree humidity. I always assumed the public account was obligatory and part of an UP social media contract because otherwise why have two accounts? 

But this is coming from a girl with 1 private, locked down instagram with zero followers I do not personally know and zero other forms of social media so I don't always get it. 

I have two accounts. One is private and for personal use. The other is public and for my dog. 

I know that sounds super lame. But I have a ton of ridiculously funny pictures of her. I needed something positive to focus on after my miscarriage and making people laugh seemed like a good idea. No human faces or identifying information is ever shown; the focus is 100% on my pup and other animals she comes into contact with. Not sure how we'll handle it after Velocibaby arrives - we'll probably stick to photos of just puppy or strategically posed shots where you don't see baby's face (like we do now.)

When it comes to Alyssa, I think the two accounts may have been her way of compromising. She was able to support the family and show, while keeping some stuff more private. I don't see this as something UP would necessarily have a major issue with since:

1. The Websters aren't really prominent on the show.

2. Some of the comments directed at her were seriously out of line.

3. It's likely just a break from her public account. I don't think she's going to drop it entirely.

4. John still has his public account. He doesn't post much, but they still have a public presence.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I don't have IG. Probably because I'm an old fart. 

I guess it's good Zach is a LEO because he's always at the parties in case some creeper fan gets out of hand. I would hope he would ask a few LEO friends to come as well but who knows. I bet a lot of their guests have a conceal and carry. 

[doubleT]

I think in the beginning, Alyssa was excited to have social media and to be able to post pics of herself and her new husband doing newlywed things ... honeymoon, setting up the home, decorating for the holidays and what became her signature, the Sunday "going to church" picture.  As time went by and the comments became more brazen and hurtful, it probably wasn't fun anymore.   She had people questioning her dad, her family, her FIL, her dress code and her beautiful baby girl. 

Her family maybe be flawed in many of their beliefs and ways, but they are her family and that family is all she knows.  Up to three years ago, she was very sheltered. 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

1 hour ago, doubleT said:

I think in the beginning, Alyssa was excited to have social media and to be able to post pics of herself and her new husband doing newlywed things ... honeymoon, setting up the home, decorating for the holidays and what became her signature, the Sunday "going to church" picture.  As time went by and the comments became more brazen and hurtful, it probably wasn't fun anymore.   She had people questioning her dad, her family, her FIL, her dress code and her beautiful baby girl. 

Her family maybe be flawed in many of their beliefs and ways, but they are her family and that family is all she knows.  Up to three years ago, she was very sheltered. 

I agree.

And I will always say that the moment something stops being fun, it's time to stop. Instagram (or at least, her public account) stopped being fun. So she's stopped. 

As for her family, while it is pretty obvious in the show that Alyssa can often find them a bit too much and exhausting, it doesn't mean she doesn't love them. I love my parents but we wouldn't last a week living with each other now I'm an adult. 

And if someone came to my Instagram and started making nasty comments about my family, I'd block them so quickly I'd be in danger of breaking my finger.....even if they might have been right. My family's flaws are not for someone else to use against me.