Bates Family Part 15 - Bumps, Births and Babies

[bashfulpixie]

2 hours ago, Kayleigh83 said:

I pick up accents like that too! I spent 2 weeks in Poland when I was a teenager and found myself starting to speak with a slight Polish accent after just a few days. I find pronunciation the easiest part of learning other languages so maybe those things are linked somehow.

I'm the same way. My friends can always tell when I've spent time on the phone with my family up north because the accent seeps in

[Geechee Girl]

9 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

I have seen men who looked liked they just came from the coal mine and women in tube tops and Daisy Dukes at a funeral home. I'm not belittling coal miners or fashion choices. However, there are times when more appropriate clothes are necessary.

We must run in the same circles. I've hand second hand embarrassment seeing cammo at weddings and Daisy Dukes with flip flops and bikini top at a funeral in a Catholic church. Granted it was a church by the sea, but come on.  

[Mela99]

8 hours ago, Geechee Girl said:

We must run in the same circles. I've hand second hand embarrassment seeing cammo at weddings and Daisy Dukes with flip flops and bikini top at a funeral in a Catholic church. Granted it was a church by the sea, but come on.  

This.

I was married in a Catholic church and had to put semi-formal attire on the invite. My mother is from old world Italian Catholics and I figured one of us would have a stroke if someone showed up like that. I wanted a strapless dress and wanted to let my girls have strapless dresses but the inner guilt was too strong...  

[withaj]

Accents are funny things. The two cities I lived in from birth-5 and 5-10 are generally considered pretty accentless, but since my mother is from South Carolina and my father is from New Jersey, I grew up with exposure to a moderate southern accent and a moderate mid-atlantic accent. My mother's twang went to a 10 when she was on the phone with my grandmother, and when we moved to South Carolina, my accent eventually changed a bit. I do use "y'all" constantly -- I remain convinced it is a necessary part of speech -- but otherwise, I don't sound stereotypically Southern unless I twang out when talking to old ladies or other folks with heavy southern accents. I guess it's a form of respect, almost. Like, "my people are your people, too." 

I did spend almost 2 months in Europe at the beginning of this year, and everyone I spoke with picked up on the one Canadian speech pattern I've always had -- I can't say a hard "ow" sound, so any words with that sound (about, out, house) tend to mislead people into thinking I'm Canadian. Of course, then I throw in a y'all and they're hopelessly confused.

[vspielman]

6 hours ago, withaj said:

Accents are funny things.

They are indeed.  I come from rural Northeast PA, which is considered fairly accent-less.  Yet, I met someone in IL a few years ago who said "hey, you're from PA" within about five minutes of talking to me.  I was shocked, and asked how did he know?  His answer was that he'd met someone from PA before and I "sounded exactly like them."  Still not sure what he heard in the speech pattern?

[Casserole]

9 minutes ago, vspielman said:

They are indeed.  I come from rural Northeast PA, which is considered fairly accent-less.  Yet, I met someone in IL a few years ago who said "hey, you're from PA" within about five minutes of talking to me.  I was shocked, and asked how did he know?  His answer was that he'd met someone from PA before and I "sounded exactly like them."  Still not sure what he heard in the speech pattern?

 

Northeast PA 100% has an accent. I can pick you guys out within a sentence or two. 

[theinvisiblegirl]

On 5/29/2016 at 2:02 PM, just...sare said:

<snip>

I don't think there's anything wrong with her outfit. I've seen much, much worse. I work in a funeral home and you wouldn't believe what some people think is appropriate funeral attire. I've seen longer skirts in dance clubs.

I also don't see anything wrong with smiling for posed photographs - or smiling at all. Often you can hear gales of laughter coming from visitation rooms as people who don't get together often see each other again. No one can (or should be expected to) cry relentlessly. I think it's wonderful to hear people laugh even amidst pain. We also occasionally have people ask us to take group photos for them in front of the fireplace or something, and we always tell them to smile. Smiling for a photograph doesn't mean you're not sad you've lost someone. Laughing isn't necessarily disrespectful*.

Obviously because I work there I'm a LOT more comfortable in a funeral home than most people are, but I also see a full range of emotions, attitudes, clothing, economic backgrounds, etc.

<snip>

There was a lot of laughter at my grandfather's funeral. I would go so far to say that we even have some inside jokes from it, such as a big gulp coming out of nowhere and my grandfather's cousin being armed with a bevvy of snacks in case my diabetic grandmother went down. Even typing this, I laugh. It was a very painful time, and I was very close to my grandfather, but those are just the type of thing that would happen at a wake where that side of the family was there.

[just...sare]

9 hours ago, theinvisiblegirl said:

There was a lot of laughter at my grandfather's funeral. I would go so far to say that we even have some inside jokes from it, such as a big gulp coming out of nowhere and my grandfather's cousin being armed with a bevvy of snacks in case my diabetic grandmother went down. Even typing this, I laugh. It was a very painful time, and I was very close to my grandfather, but those are just the type of thing that would happen at a wake where that side of the family was there.

Well, Ideally, that's how it should be. The death itself is awful enough, if the wake and funeral can be a better experience, it should be.

[nastyhobbitses]

On 5/29/2016 at 10:00 PM, Kayleigh83 said:

I pick up accents like that too! I spent 2 weeks in Poland when I was a teenager and found myself starting to speak with a slight Polish accent after just a few days. I find pronunciation the easiest part of learning other languages so maybe those things are linked somehow.

I found myself pronouncing certain words with a Chinese accent after a while in China. It was mainly words that I/my colleagues would code-switch frequently (so things like "app", "email", "private equity", those sorts of words that are either easier or clearer to just say in English even in the middle of an all-Chinese sentence). I just got used to saying those words in an otherwise all-Chinese conversation that I started pronouncing them the way my colleagues would pronounce them.

[crazysnark]

Well Alyssa is promoting flat tummy tea on instagram and is doing a 4 week detox to combat bloating. Yet another sign she is not planning on getting pregnant any time soon! 

[GreyhoundFan]

20 hours ago, theinvisiblegirl said:

There was a lot of laughter at my grandfather's funeral. I would go so far to say that we even have some inside jokes from it, such as a big gulp coming out of nowhere and my grandfather's cousin being armed with a bevvy of snacks in case my diabetic grandmother went down. Even typing this, I laugh. It was a very painful time, and I was very close to my grandfather, but those are just the type of thing that would happen at a wake where that side of the family was there.

I was very close to my grandmother. She died after a lengthy illness. I was a little worried about the viewing, but my grandma's best friend for over 75 years was there and kept us in stitches, telling us funny stories about their youth. It was nice to laugh after so many tears were shed. Her friend made the whole awful situation bearable.

[JermajestyDuggar]

53 minutes ago, GreyhoundFan said:

I was very close to my grandmother. She died after a lengthy illness. I was a little worried about the viewing, but my grandma's best friend for over 75 years was there and kept us in stitches, telling us funny stories about their youth. It was nice to laugh after so many tears were shed. Her friend made the whole awful situation bearable.

My whole family was grief stricken when my grandma died. She lit up a room and kept everyone laughing and smiling whenever she was around. So when she died, it was like a light went out and everything was so dark. But when we all gathered after the funeral we told such funny stories about her that we were all laughing so hard. She would have wanted us to laugh and enjoy being together. She was happiest when everyone she loved was together and having fun.

[princessmahina]

1 hour ago, crazysnark said:

Well Alyssa is promoting flat tummy tea on instagram and is doing a 4 week detox to combat bloating. Yet another sign she is not planning on getting pregnant any time soon! 

I remember reading somewhere that those products are mainly just laxatives. That seems like an awkward thing to promote, but celebrities seem to be all over it. 

[RosyDaisy]

Laxatives or enemas or both. Sorry, I won't do either unless a doctor advises me to. My doctor agrees. They can be dangerous and cause more problems than they are supposed to treat.

[Melissa1977]

9 hours ago, crazysnark said:

Well Alyssa is promoting flat tummy tea on instagram and is doing a 4 week detox to combat bloating. Yet another sign she is not planning on getting pregnant any time soon! 

I don't know Alyssa so I'm just supposing, but she said she didn't like the noise at Bates home and she had a private room (just shared with Josie) which is a rarity in quiverful homes. And she's been talking about controlling the number of  kids (she said 6, which is a lot, but she's not saying that God will decide, it's about her decision. She could easily (lying or not) say that she is having the many as possible, or that it's on God's hands, but she clearly said a "little" number to make clear she's not exactly quiverful). Of course, Websters are not having zillion kids, so it's easy for her to say that.

So if Alyssa is a quiet person who in addition loves to be thin and work out, it's understandable she wants few kids.

But fundies are not known for listening their deep feelings. They are known for obeying "godly" rules. For example, I'm sure Teri Maxwell didn't want to have the 5 reversals while fighting against depression. But she did because her feelings or dreams weren't considered important.

So if Alyssa decides to have only few kids, and not very close in age, in order to keep her home quiet and to have time for her work outs, I'll give her some credit. Maybe she'll be still fundie in a lot of aspects, but at least she'll be showing self-steem and some freedom.

This said, I bet new baby will be born next April/May. Probably by Allie's second birthday. If she waits more (2,5 or 3 years) I'll be impressed.

[nelliebelle1197]

On 5/28/2016 at 3:43 AM, Melissa1977 said:

Alyssa posted a picture with a girl with green hair! Isn't it funny??? 

Apart from jokes, I don't understand wearing a zebra print dress for a funeral, nor posing smiling in that circumstances. But maybe it's just a cultural question.

No. It is a bad manners/no class question.

 

Ack. That was mean.

What really bothers me is someone as thin as Alyssa promoting dieting. She is too thin for her frame and always has been. Her head is out of proportion with her body. It is once again that wonderful societal pressure to be preternaturally thin. It is very bothersome.

[HereticHick]

9 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

Laxatives or enemas or both. Sorry, I won't do either unless a doctor advises me to. My doctor agrees. They can be dangerous and cause more problems than they are supposed to treat.

I wonder if Alyssa is interested in a super flat stomach because every time she looks like she's gained an ounce folks think she is pregnant & carry on about it. It must be tiresome.

It is interesting that she is getting a lot of flak about this posting.

[habert]

She's for sure getting paid for that tummy tea post.

[JillyO]

1 hour ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

What really bothers me is someone as thin as Alyssa promoting dieting. She is too thin for her frame and always has been. Her head is out of proportion with her body. It is once again that wonderful societal pressure to be preternaturally thin. It is very bothersome.

No kidding. She is freaking tiny. It's a damn shame that she or anyone would think she needs help with looking even thinner. And definitely with crap like this. I wish she were at least promoting healthy eating, but I guess no one's gonna pay you to advertize brokkoli on your Instagram.

[nelliebelle1197]

43 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

I wonder if Alyssa is interested in a super flat stomach because every time she looks like she's gained an ounce folks think she is pregnant & carry on about it. It must be tiresome.

It is interesting that she is getting a lot of flak about this posting.

It could be control as well. A lot of young women - myself included- develop body control issues due to chaotic life circumstance.

[Screamapillar]

Ack, Alyssa. Please don't be the Kardashian of Fundies! First step: promote laxative teas, Second step: promote those awful waist training things. I guarantee she's getting paid to pimp this product, but the person who would pay a skinny 20 year old to promote a weight loss gimmick is twisted.

[Casserole]

Not standing up for Alyssa or any quiverful women when their own freaking children track their mother's ovulation and parent's sex schedule... but if I were her/Michaela/whoever and every time I posted a picture on instagram where I thought I was looking cute and 80% of the comments are "OMG your cheeks filled in, you must be pregnant!," "I see a bump, CONGRATS," "That loose dress must be hiding your bump," "I see that baby bump, you can't fool me!!" I would probably develop seriously disordered eating/workout habits and in the right circumstances, a full blown eating disorder. Having control over so few things in your life and the constant scrutiny of your looks is the perfect combination for developing an eating disorder for a lot of these girls. For that, I do feel bad for them. 

[JMO]

Holy $hit, she hashtagged her grandfather's funeral?!?  WTF. 

[formergothardite]

She hashtagged a funeral? Please don't let this start being a thing. 

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, JMO said:

Holy $hit, she hashtagged her grandfather's funeral?!?  WTF. 

I really hate to say this -

I wouldn't be surprised if she did that as an easy way to explain who they were mourning. I don't think she mentioned that in the original post and it was probably easier to add a hashtag then have to explain a thousand times to various commenters.

And that's all I got. Carry on my loves!