Counting On - Part 8: You've Seen Half this Show Before

[Mela99]

@ChickenettiLuvr

First, learn another language and curse away in that - Italian is my choice.

Second, I'm awfully fond of poppycock, bullhonkery and horsepoopery. 

[EyeQueue]

2 hours ago, Cleopatra7 said:

Ejaculation is a grammatical and linguistic term that refers to short phrases (one or two words) that express strong emotions in a sentence fragment. The most common ejaculations are curse words, but things like "Ouch!" also qualify. They are different from exclamations which do contain the rudiments of normal sentence structures.

One of my favorite examples of this is from The Land of Oz. There's a sentence somewhere in there that talks about Jack Pumpkinhead ejaculating something.

I used to titter when I read that back in the day, but I do understand it's a grammatical thing.

Oops...memory wasn't very good. It was actually Mombi who ejaculates:

Quote

"Heh!" ejaculated Mombi, giving a sort of grunt; "that rascally boy has been playing tricks again!"

 

[Cleopatra7]

2 minutes ago, EyeQueue said:

One of my favorite examples of this is from The Land of Oz. There's a sentence somewhere in there that talks about Jack Pumpkinhead ejaculating something.

I used to titter when I read that back in the day, but I do understand it's a grammatical thing.

Oops...memory wasn't very good. It was actually Mombi who ejaculates:

 

Now you made me want to reread "The Land of Oz," especially since it has a quasi-trans twist ending.

[Mercer]

Reminds me of the scene in a Narnia book where Jill "made love to everyone" in the giants' castle to gain their trust. In context and the language of the time it means she behaved in a flattering/affectionate way to earn their favor, but to a modern reader it can suggest... um... she had a rather different way of getting them to like her. 

[EyeQueue]

10 minutes ago, Cleopatra7 said:

Now you made me want to reread "The Land of Oz," especially since it has a quasi-trans twist ending.

Yes! I lovelovelove that book, and the twist at the end. I was actually thinking of writing a fanfic type spin on it in a modern urban fantasy setting. That's why I haven't read the 2nd or 3rd parts of Gregory Maguire's Wicked series, because I don't want to be tainted by what he may have done with that character.

[Cleopatra7]

2 minutes ago, EyeQueue said:

Yes! I lovelovelove that book, and the twist at the end. I was actually thinking of writing a fanfic type spin on it in a modern urban fantasy setting. That's why I haven't read the 2nd or 3rd parts of Gregory Maguire's Wicked series, because I don't want to be tainted by what he may have done with that character.

Now I wish I had chosen "FreeJinjur" as my screen name, and use a picture of General Jinjur leading the rebellion against housework from "The Land of Oz." It would have worked on so many levels.

[EyeQueue]

2 minutes ago, Cleopatra7 said:

Now I wish I had chosen "FreeJinjur" as my screen name, and use a picture of General Jinjur leading the rebellion against housework from "The Land of Oz." It would have worked on so many levels.

That's a genius name!

[ChickenettiLuvr]

All of your suggestions & creativity are greatly appreciated!  Please don't stop!!!!

I already had a 2-hour phone call with mother of the bride tonight (MOTB). At least a dozen times I blurted out an inappropriate response to the cray-cray nonsense she was spouting.  Can't retell it right now, but it was ridiculous. So much so that my VERY patient, very tolerant, very MYOB hubby said: "Why in the hell is she so nosy?  And what is with the sordid fascination whether my son & their daughter are having sex?  Sheesh!"

Retweet.  I'm exhausted.

[Naga Viper]

I'm monolingual, but I've picked up enough swears in different languages over the years that my friends are used to me busting out a "merde" or "scheiß" almost as readily as a plain old "shit." My family lost our Welsh two or three generations back, but my brothers staged a mini-revival of the bad words during their teen years, and to date, no one—no American, anyway—has caught me lying about what "Dos i chwarae efo dy nain" really means (something like "Fuck your grandma," I believe). I'm sure it helps that the pronunciation doesn't really give away the spelling to English speakers.

I'm also reminded of Neil Gaiman being told once that he couldn't use "Fucking hell" in one character's dialogue, so he snuck in "Felching heck" instead, which is a lot worse in my book. If the in-laws are unlikely to consult Urban Dictionary and find out what colorful sex act that describes, you could try sliding that one by them! 

[Bbfamteam]

I am trying to work some on my sailor mouth prior to little bb's arrival. My favorite substitution so far has been mother trucker 

[TShirtsLongSkirts]

6 hours ago, EyeQueue said:

One of my favorite examples of this is from The Land of Oz. There's a sentence somewhere in there that talks about Jack Pumpkinhead ejaculating something.

I used to titter when I read that back in the day, but I do understand it's a grammatical thing.

Oops...memory wasn't very good. It was actually Mombi who ejaculates:

 

It's also in a LOT of the Sherlock Holmes stories. E.g. "'Holmes!' I ejaculated". Pretty funny! 

[Edhelfin]

Are you telling me that some people gave these maggots ratings to watch repeated footage? Who knew... 

[paulypepper]

Here's a few profanities from my co-workers...

"Son of a Sea Biscuit"  "Son of a biscuit eater"  "Fudge puppies"  and one of my faves "Jesus Rodrigues"

[MarcyMM]

A couple of my substitutions are "God bless America" and "oh, for Christmas sake." 

[Jana814]

On April 28, 2016 at 10:19 AM, nst said:

what if the life changing moment is we see Josh at the end of the show apologizing to the viewing audience?

 

He would never apologize.  

[Denim Jumper]

My favorite is "Holy flurking shnit!" Always garners a knee-jerk gasp, until they realize that I didn't actually say what they think I said

[Ungodly Grandma]

35 minutes ago, MarcyMM said:

A couple of my substitutions are "God bless America" and "oh, for Christmas sake." 

A favorite of mine is from Seinfeld, Oh help me Rhonda!

[nomoxian]

My cousin died by hanging. The emoji doesn't bother me but I can see how it might bother other people.

[griffin]

my favorite one was my elderly, VERY catholic aunt's, "jesus, mary, and joseph and all the bald headed saints!"

[amendgitan]

On April 29, 2016 at 8:48 PM, Scottie said:

I completely agree!

The whole virginity thing has been such a big deal for these girls. Their entire lives they get preached at about the importance of purity, they literally get rings as a pledge to remain pure for the 'one God has for them'. Personally I, like many people on this forum find this practice utterly repugnant. I can only imagine what a toll going from 0-100 in a matter of hours would be, I think there would be lasting effects for the individuals concerning worth, etc. I know there would be for me. I would feel this crushing pressure knowing that everyone in attendance at my wedding would know what I'm getting up to later that night.  Don't even get me started with JB & M constantly talking about grandbabies and alluding to sex, I'm a grown woman and I would find that kind of attention from my parents mortifying. 

I am lucky to have been raised to make my own personal choices and not have to worry about my parents, other loved ones, and complete strangers know in great detail about my sex life. 

I had a Muslim friend who was a virgin on her wedding night who told me she felt dirty and had to clean the kitchen every time they had sex. That was months later. 

[calimojo]

I am an unabashed user of colorful language.  For someone who is going to be more or less in my permanent life, I sort of ease them into my natural vernacular.  I am not really about trying to modify who I am, but at the same time I am about trying to be respectful of others sensitivities to a degree.  I will tend to refrain or at least reduce my use of the big baddies, like the ones that start with F, C, MF, etc.  But, I also am pretty up front with people early on that I use salty language as a common thing.    I think we can be sensitive to people, but also be ourselves at the same time.  

 

My take on bad language is that it doesn't really matter what word you use, Shucks or Darn, or Mother Trucker vs the MF,  if the intent is nasty and mean.  If you are saying "Darn you" in stead if "Damn you", you still pretty much mean the same thing.  Saying someone is a Witch instead of a Bitch, again, is pretty much the same to me.  They both are said with harsh intent.   When my kids were younger,  they never really got into trouble over a 'bad ' word that was used, but they got into trouble if they used any word in a mean or disrespectful way.  I was more bothered by them telling each other to "Shut up" or calling each other an idiot or other rude name. 

 

 

 

I also would talk to my kids about when and where they shouldn't use some of those words.  I would be very clear: "You can't say these words at school" or at your friends house, etc. 

[nst]

1 hour ago, Jana814 said:

He would never apologize.  

True 

but what if the life changing moment is him  walking into frame

1 hour ago, Ungodly Grandma said:

A favorite of mine is from Seinfeld, Oh help me Rhonda!

my best is 

The emperor wears no clothes from TMTMS

[amendgitan]

On April 28, 2016 at 1:18 PM, MyMilkshake said:

I really hope the "life changing news" isn't an adoption. It would be bad enough to be born into a cult, but getting adopted into one would be even worse. 

Very sad to think of some poor little baby being adopted by these sick blanket trainers. It's sad enough that they do it to their own, innocent kids. But to think of a child from Central America where babies are generally raised with gentleness, being subjected to this abuae via adoption, is appalling. 

On April 28, 2016 at 2:06 PM, Kira said:

I just saw the promo for next week's episode. Joy and Jinger are tlking about courtship, again

Joy: I would go around the world to meet a guy

Jinger: Luckily, I don't have to

Producer: Is there something you want tell us

(That was paraphased)

Poor Jana. I don't see her escaping her life as the family drudge (into a different life as a different drudge) anytime soon. Her demeanor and the way the others treat her makes it seem like she's almost a spinster. 

On April 29, 2016 at 8:04 PM, VanillaBean said:

OK, I never watch the show as we don't have cable, but W The actual F? She uses a pen to make a one-year-old do things? Because flexible rulers are so 2002?

Disgusting. I never understood why the media has failed to do a story on their harsh and abusive "training" of babies. 

On April 29, 2016 at 8:15 PM, ChickenettiLuvr said:

I had to get caught up here while I can before the next 10 days happen.

My son and his fiancee' are on their way home from five states away.  Yippee!!  I finally get to meet my DIL-to-be in person.

That being said -- I need to ask all of you FJ kinfolk for a BIG favor:  I seriously have to curtail the potty mouth/swearing.  Which isn't gonna be easy.  She grew up VERY conservatively (ugh) and wouldn't view it kindly.  Plus, the new in-laws are so conservative Baptist it isn't funny, especially the dad. (Bride actually served two years' hard time at that horrible Pensacola college.) ... But they're not "legalistic" because they wear pants.  (true story) Anyway ... Here's how goofy it gets:

Same Daddy-o refuses to allow alcohol or dancing at the wedding reception.  Which is unfortunate.  Considering the forced level of polite interaction I'll have with the idiot ex and his bitchy new wife.  *le sigh*
 

(Snipped for space)

Wow. I feel for you! So uncomfortable. I would be pretty horrified if my kid was marrying into that nightmarish culture. And while I would be polite I think I certainly wouldn't bend over backwards to conform to their standards. 

By the way, why would your son agree to a wedding with no alcohol or dancing just because his future FIL demanded so? Is just save myself for my own, fun wedding instead of having the wedding my in laws want. Seems to be setting the tone for the marriage. 

On April 29, 2016 at 8:25 PM, nst said:

didn't you see in some videos - she uses a marker

What is she saying in those videos? I can't believe she's admit to child abuse on camera. (Oh and she's not using the pen to entice the baby to walk or whatever. Otherwise he wouldn't not like it.) 

On April 29, 2016 at 8:41 PM, choralcrusader8613 said:

No, she's asking stuff like "When did you expect your kid to start helping pick up their toys?"

These people desperately need parenting classes. Ugh. A one year old? She thinks she needs to train  a poor little one year old to clean? 

These people are so concerned with blind obedience that it's twisted. 

2 hours ago, MarcyMM said:

A couple of my substitutions are "God bless America" and "oh, for Christmas sake." 

I just say fuck. And occasionally apologize afterward for my bad mouth. 

[guitar_villain]

16 hours ago, Mercer said:

My grandmother would say "Jesus, God, Joseph, and Mary!" in times of extreme annoyance. It seemed like a pretty serious swear when I was a kid. 

I'm completely non-religious, but I'll often use something like "Holy Mary, mother of God" between clenched teeth when I stub my toe or something similar.

/Had a crewmate on my tank once comment "you really like the word fuck, don't you?". 

[nastyhobbitses]

39 minutes ago, amendgitan said:

I just say fuck. And occasionally apologize afterward for my bad mouth. 

Same. I do my best to curb it, but let's just say that my road rage rather enriched the vocabulary of the very innocent and sheltered LDS freshman who would sometimes get rides home from me after drama practice. And that came on the heels of her getting cast as a prostitute in Les Mis.