Rent a Moms

[Feberin]

Saw this link on Kristina's blog (she's got low iron levels by the way) imasaved1.blogspot.com/2011/08/which-is-more-expensive-daycare-or.html

I know I shouldn't be surprised that they believe it causes emotional trauma to send a child to daycare but it annoys me. My husband's job isn't stable so no matter how much we carefully worked our budget he could loose his job and then neither of us would be working, which I don't think is a good situation at all. I feel that is extremely important for my son and he's well bonded with his daycare provider but she's not taking my place. He squeals with delight when I pick him up but also wants to give her a hug goodbye.

On the actual article that allowed the fundie to go off on working mothers I'm not surprised. We pay $200 a week and that's for an in-home daycare. The centeres I looked at were around 1,200 a month. It is very expensive but having kids in general is expensive.

Edited to break the link.

[clibbyjo]

If my kids were in daycare, I would want them to form a bond with their caregiver. I would want her to love them and care for them,not just treat them like a piece of furniture.

[Witsec6]

Daycare is a great environment for kids to learn in. My mother is a very educated woman, and she has been a practicing caregiver for 30 years. Her "kids" get to spend all day in the care of highly trained caregivers in an environment designed to teach and stimulate them, and with a group of their peers with whom they get to explore the world. Daycares are not "kid farms". They are nurturing places.

I don't think a "stay at home mom" could do any better. Not that it's a bad thing to be a SAHM either-- it's just a different sort of care that kids get. Most SAHMs I know also have activities that they take their kids to to socialize them unless they're the Maxwells.

TL;DR- Feberin you're doing a nice thing for your kid, and he will be just fine. Kristina be Krazy.

[fundiefan]

I always consider the source when the idiots write about daycare. Their agenda is apparent and obvious and has been heard before, thousands of times. I can't manage to convince myself that someone who has never utilized, or needed, daycare has any insight into the practice, Just as I can't when the SAHD's pontificate on marriage and divorce and homemaking and raising children.

While they rant and rave about that which they have no experience with and no understanding of, I will praise the people who make the choices that are best for them and provide for their children in the same way - by choosing what is best for them.

I'll also always be pretty grateful for the wonderfully awesome caregivers who loved and nurtured my nieces and nephews while my siblings went out and worked jobs to pay the mortgage, buy the food and to provide insurance & health care for the children they love.

[bananacat]

Kids mostly turn out the same whether they go to daycare or not, but of course it's evil science that says that so fundies so will never believe it. I liked going to daycare because I had more friends there than around my neighborhood, and my babysitter became like a grandma to me (3 of my grandparents died before I was even born). But kids can easily thrive at home too, since most stay-at-home parents make an effort to arrange playdates or take classes and stuff like that.

Basically, it's hard to "ruin" kids and they won't be emotionally scarred whether they go to daycare or stay home with a parent all day. The only thing I don't like to see is when the dad has to take on two jobs or work ridiculously long hours so that the mom can afford to stay home, if it gets to the point that the kids never see the dad because he gets home after they go to bed. It seems a shame to miss out completely on one parent just to have the other around a little more. I babysat for one family like that and the kids were so distant from the father that it was sad to see, but maybe it was the other way around and he worked so much because he already had a bad relationship with his kids and wanted to avoid them.

[bananacat]

Oh, also, I'd much rather leave my kid with a professional adult daycare teacher than with a 13 year-old "buddy". Just saying.

[darareaksmey]

Daycare is like anything else in the world: there are good ones and bad ones, and you need to discern the difference. I would not for the world trade the experiences my kids had at our church's children's center from ages 1-5. They learned so much, including self-reliance and independence. They made lasting relationships; both kids, now a teen and a 12-year-old, love going back to visit the ladies who loved them so much when they were little, and stil love them. They bonded with kids and teachers of different races and backgrounds. They were both extremely well-prepared for public 5K when the time came. Of course, I'm sure a homeschooling fundie wouldn't find that a plus at all. But I know for a fact that I couldn't have given them the educational background they got at the children's center. And honestly, knowing that they had a caring, fun, safe place to be took a lot of the burden off DH and me in terms of earnng the money our family needed.

[Elle]

Damage can happen to kids in daycare...if they have bad providers. Good providers will become like family to the child. With these fundies pushing the raising of their kids off onto siblings anyway, what's the difference? Pot calling the kettle black.

Also it's more damaging for a child to live a homeless life because mommy wasn't supposed to work even if she and daddy could find daycare good enough and cheap enough that the salary she could make more pay for the daycare with more than enough left over to keep a roof over the family's head. For some families, daycare doesn't make sense (like when all the income would just go right to the daycare), but for some families, it makes sense. I favor, when possible, for a parent to stay home or at least be available to be home whenever needed, but that's just not always possible, and it's horrible to say that parents are bad parents because they can't afford the option.

Work-a-holics who have kids to brag about but don't actually want to do any work of raising them and shove them off to daycare, on the other hand, are different. I worked at a daycare for a while. We had a mom who wanted a couple kids to brag about, only had one, dropped him off still asleep in the morning, and picked him up after bedtime in the evening, because she didn't want to actually parent him. Just wanted to be the power-career woman with a couple kids (but only had the one, thank goodness). Even when that boy was very sick, she wouldn't pick him up. Bitch. That kid knew he wasn't wanted by his mom. But...this is the exception.

I won't deny wishing we could afford a few hours of daycare a couple days a week so I could have a little time for myself though. Still be home for when she needs me, but just have some time for me. My husband tries when he's off, but unless they go out, which adds up in price sometimes, they're still here and she still wants mommy.

[Austin]

Not every woman who is otherwise a good mother is cut out to be a SAHM or even a work-from-home-mom, even if it's financially feasible. My best friend and I had a long discussion about this at dinner last week from a retrospective vantage point. I stayed home for 10 years with my kids, and she was always a WOTH mom. We discussed in depth how we made the decisions we did, what was good about it, and what we'd change if we could go back.

Long story short, we came to the conclusion that we both did it right and we both screwed it up. We both suffered from guilt and insecurity and we both thought we would lose our minds along the way, for completely opposite reasons, but the crazee would have been the same - lol. The grass always looks greener, I guess

Either way, we have four sons between us who are all kind, loving, productive members of society. I think a parent who is generally happy makes for a better parent, period. Finding quality, affordable daycare is often tough, but in my experience, kids from both scenarios can thrive and do well.

[Caxpax]

I haven't read the article, but knowing Kristina it's sure to be a doozy. All I can say is--- Kristina could never even get hired to be a caregiver at my son's daycare, not even as a substitute. All of the caregivers have at least a CDA with most having a bachelor's in ECE and several having a Master's degree. I bet even the cleaning ladies have more education than she does. i wouldn't leave my dog in Kristina's inept and uneducated care , let alone my child, and I guarantee it would be Kloe and all of her other crotch droppings luckiest damn day if they were to get to attend daycare with my son, with caring people to look after them, play with them, and teach them life skills as opposed to how to help mommy look after the younger crotch droppings.