Erika Shupe Miscarriage

[apandaaries]

It sounds a lot like Bob's parents were uncomfortable with the kids being raised in such an awful cultish way. Im not surprised either.

Im guessing they wanted to be typical grandparents who let their grandkids get away with a bit more than at home, give them candy and let them watch cartoons more than their parents do, and not wanting to let their newborn grandchild cry in hunger on their own for hours...just normal stuff really. Its not a big deal unless theyre doing some really shitty things, like feeding the kid something they are allergic to because they don't believe the parent, letting the kids watch horror movies and giving them nightmares or giving a baby some baby food before the parents say so as they weaned earlier when their kids were little.

Maybe the moral issues they were teaching the kids were things like that one of the kids said something homophobic/racist/bigoted and the grandparent took them aside to talk to them about how it is not okay to say these things.

I would agree with this, except that after you finish her screed and its jumpy timeline, she mentions that the girls haven't seen the paternal grandparents since they were 18 and 6 months old (even though the issues, at another point, had gone on for four years). At such young ages, it could have been as simple as the girls didn't want to adhere to an insane schedule and the grandparents were willing to accommodate their very young charges...leading to cranky toddlers/babies who didn't want to return to Erika's regime. What would an 18 month old have watched under the grandparents' care? Sesame St? Game shows?

My daughter nearly always got hyped up after grandparent visits. Lacking Erika's wisdom, I just assumed it was par for the course. Babies and toddlers often get excited over new people, especially people who adore them, as grandparents are wont to do.

I'm bolding the ages Erika claims the girls last saw their grandparents, because it's significant and easy to overlook in her 5000+ paragraphs of "how to deal with difficult relationships without disclosing details" :lol:

[Mandysue]

Two things

I feel bad for Karen because on her 16th birthday she got salt water taffy (2 packages!) she could share.

I have no children but I have an abundance of nieces and nephews and feel it is my job to spoil them. I have given them sugar, let them stay up late, offered to pay for tattoos because I am an aunt and if they want it I want to give it to them. My brothers and sister may get upset with me for a minute but they get over it.

(sorry third thing)

Erika's time line is off. She talks as if the problem with the grandparents went on for years but then she said the girls haven't seen them for 15/14 years. I am scratching my head.

[Cora Persephona]

I also noticed the strange timeline. What moral issues do you discuss with an 18-month old? There's surely something fishy about that story.

[mango_fandango]

I also noticed the strange timeline. What moral issues do you discuss with an 18-month old? There's surely something fishy about that story.

A normal person might mention basic things like "don't hurt your little sister" or "don't play with plug sockets" (I dunno, I don't have kids). I too find it weird that Erika mentions that the in-laws were teaching things "obviously and directly against God's Word." Like an 18-month old knows what "God's Word" is. What things "obviously and directly against God's Word" were these grandparents mentioning anyway??

[Cheetah]

A normal person might mention basic things like "don't hurt your little sister" or "don't play with plug sockets" (I dunno, I don't have kids). I too find it weird that Erika mentions that the in-laws were teaching things "obviously and directly against God's Word." Like an 18-month old knows what "God's Word" is. What things "obviously and directly against God's Word" were these grandparents mentioning anyway??

Could be a lot of things as far as fundies are concerned ... Halloween? Santa Claus? Dinosaurs weren't around at the same time as Noah's ark? Grandma has a job and wears pants? Grandpa likes to have a couple of beers now and then?

[Cora Persephona]

A normal person might mention basic things like "don't hurt your little sister" or "don't play with plug sockets" (I dunno, I don't have kids). I too find it weird that Erika mentions that the in-laws were teaching things "obviously and directly against God's Word." Like an 18-month old knows what "God's Word" is. What things "obviously and directly against God's Word" were these grandparents mentioning anyway??

Exactly! What is more, she says:

"And when we had more children and they were all a few years older, his parents would try to teach our children on moral issues that were obviously, and directly against God's Word."

but later on it's:

" They have not seen Karen & Melanie since they were 18 months and 6 months old (they are now 14 and 13), and they've never met our other seven children. "

So, which one is it? How could they be years older if the last time they saw the grandkids the oldest was 18 months? Fundie math like fundie logic apparently defies conventions.

[Idolatry]

Exactly! What is more, she says:

"And when we had more children and they were all a few years older, his parents would try to teach our children on moral issues that were obviously, and directly against God's Word."

but later on it's:

" They have not seen Karen & Melanie since they were 18 months and 6 months old (they are now 14 and 13), and they've never met our other seven children. "

So, which one is it? How could they be years older if the last time they saw the grandkids the oldest was 18 months? Fundie math like fundie logic apparently defies conventions.

Maybe they used the evil telephone to teach against God's will.

[mango_fandango]

Could be a lot of things as far as fundies are concerned ... Halloween? Santa Claus? Dinosaurs weren't around at the same time as Noah's ark? Grandma has a job and wears pants? Grandpa likes to have a couple of beers now and then?

Can't be that. Erika's mom wears pants.

And I get that Halloween, Santa etc are the kind of things fundies would be concerned about. I meant more that an 18-month old (and six-month-old, for that matter) wouldn't be able to distinguish between the two. But then again, this is the woman who doesn't allow her young kids to listen to kids' audio books like Madeline or Curious George: Very young children's books, such as Curious George, Blue Berries for Sal, or Madeline, are fine within themselves, but they do not grow our children's minds. This is important to us. They do not grow children's vocabulary, ability to follow a complex plot, they do not have complex sentences and paragraphs. Jeez. Like a two-year-old gives a shit whether a book has "complex sentences" or not. Those books aren't "quality literature" for children. The kids can't follow the books, but hey they'll learn to, and in the meantime have been listening to excellence!! *beam* *rolls eyes*

[slickcat79]

Can't be that. Erika's mom wears pants.

And I get that Halloween, Santa etc are the kind of things fundies would be concerned about. I meant more that an 18-month old (and six-month-old, for that matter) wouldn't be able to distinguish between the two. But then again, this is the woman who doesn't allow her young kids to listen to kids' audio books like Madeline or Curious George: Very young children's books, such as Curious George, Blue Berries for Sal, or Madeline, are fine within themselves, but they do not grow our children's minds. This is important to us. They do not grow children's vocabulary, ability to follow a complex plot, they do not have complex sentences and paragraphs. Jeez. Like a two-year-old gives a shit whether a book has "complex sentences" or not. Those books aren't "quality literature" for children. The kids can't follow the books, but hey they'll learn to, and in the meantime have been listening to excellence!! *beam* *rolls eyes*

ALL BOOKS GROW YOUR CHILDREN'S MINDS. ALL BOOKS TEACH THEM VOCABULARY AND WRITING SKILLS. Children will learn to love reading if you let them read things they love. They will be learning regardless :angry-banghead:

[alba]

ALL BOOKS GROW YOUR CHILDREN'S MINDS. ALL BOOKS TEACH THEM VOCABULARY AND WRITING SKILLS. Children will learn to love reading if you let them read things they love. They will be learning regardless :angry-banghead:

SO MUCH THIS.

I honestly believe that one of the most important things a parent can do for a child is encourage a love for reading; being able to read and communicate is so important in modern society, and children only develop those skills if they are regularly immersed in books that interest them.

Insisting a child only read "quality literature" will, in all likelihood, stunt their intellectual development, because they'll get so much less out of the book.

[DomWackTroll]

I'm thinking the grandparents may have used mild swear words like "damn" and the 18-month-old repeated it later. Because how much more could an 18-month-old even communicate to her parents? It's not like they'd be driving home and a toddler would say, "Grandpa let me watch The Sopranos last night and Grandma sneaked a cig on the front porch." They don't even know which things are tattle-worthy at that age, and if they did, they couldn't express it.

[mango_fandango]

ALL BOOKS GROW YOUR CHILDREN'S MINDS. ALL BOOKS TEACH THEM VOCABULARY AND WRITING SKILLS. Children will learn to love reading if you let them read things they love. They will be learning regardless :angry-banghead:

Yup. I grew up reading books with "overly simplistic plots", and I grew to be able to follow complex plots and so on, plus I've got a good vocabulary. Once again, Erika is talking utter shite.

[December]

Exactly! What is more, she says:

"And when we had more children and they were all a few years older, his parents would try to teach our children on moral issues that were obviously, and directly against God's Word."

but later on it's:

" They have not seen Karen & Melanie since they were 18 months and 6 months old (they are now 14 and 13), and they've never met our other seven children. "

So, which one is it? How could they be years older if the last time they saw the grandkids the oldest was 18 months? Fundie math like fundie logic apparently defies conventions.

Maybe they sent some books or videos to the children that they considered contrary to God's Word? Every family receives some gifts for their kids that aren't to their tastes/beliefs. The difference is that most just chuck the unwanted stuff in the trash or the donation box -- they don't just cut the givers off forever!

[Hane]

:lol: I also remember something about, the grandparents exposed the kids to something that was against God? What could that be? An unmarried couple living together? A child not being spanked? :o

And the grandparents haven't seen the girls since they were less than two years old. Exactly what kinds of "inappropriateness" was going on around babies so little? It isn't as if they were showing porn to seven-year-olds or giving them loaded guns to play with.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Analyzing the facebooks, Bob and Erika are both friends with his sister and his mother and step dad (the cutting off posts were about his dad and step mom). None of them seem religious or modest. His mom is a writer/artist. They all seem to have a good relationship.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Oh also, Bob posted s pic of his dad for fathers day 2014 which is odd

[happy atheist]

As a parent directed feeding family this was crucial to the babies and our success for the babies eating sleeping and overall well-being.

Is "parent directed feeding" as terrible as it sounds? :shifty-kitty:

[DGayle]

"Happy Father's Day, thanks for not abandoning us!" is a very bizarre thing to write to your father, I agree. It sounds like her parents have had some scary blow-up fights where he's threatened to walk, or else why would that even be in this kid's mind as a possibility? As a child it never would have even occurred to me that my dad might abandon our family. It wasn't even in the realm of possibility.

Maybe Erika tells the kids he'll leave if they don't behave. On top of blow-up fights.

[DGayle]

I found the post about Bob's manipulative and controlling parents

largefamiliesonpurpose.com/2013/03/navigating-difficult-relationships.html

Wow. She admits she ordered Bob's parents on WHAT and even HOW to feed kids, a bunch of banned foods (probably anything tasty), and a strict sleep schedule. Sounds like the grandparents' only mistake was in being GRANDPARENTS, and, it sounds, not being rabidly anti-gay. Getting to stay up late and have treats was always special at my grandparents' house. I'm so sad for her kids that they've been deprived of this, and if Erika's refusing to let her kids even know there are views other than her own, she's going to be in for a rude awakening when those kids become adults.

[DGayle]

I feel so bad for the Shupe kids- their life sounds like a living hell. What is really sad is that they will probably feel like they should do the same thing to their kids.

And what do you think the chances are that she'd let her kids set the rules regarding their own kids?

[DGayle]

:lol: I also remember something about, the grandparents exposed the kids to something that was against God? What could that be? An unmarried couple living together? A child not being spanked? :o

Affection? A hug instead of plumbing pipe?

[DGayle]

Is "parent directed feeding" as terrible as it sounds? :shifty-kitty:

It's part of Babywise, which is, within the medical community, universally called dangerous to kids. If the kids are hungry, and it's 3 hours to the next meal, too fucking bad. You wait because you only eat on schedule, according to schedule, how much the schedule says.

Realistically the grandparents went wrong by feeding their grandkids with the kids were hungry.

babywisemom.com/2010/08/pdf.html

[mango_fandango]

And what do you think the chances are that she'd let her kids set the rules regarding their own kids?

I'd say- fat chance. I do not see Erika being like Kelly Bates, who's said that whilst her kids live under her roof, they abide by her rules, but once they're out of the house, they can make their own. She's OK with Alyssa wearing jeans and strapless tops (Kelly that is.)

[feministxtian]

I'm a grandma...my kids understand that when their kids stay with us, we tend to let them get away with murder...they eat junk food, stay up too late, skip bath time, maybe don't brush their teeth...I think the worst thing that ever happened was that I let my grandson fall asleep on me one night and he decided that was the ONLY way he'd go to sleep for a few days afterwards (he was maybe 6-7 months old at the time). Some of the kids have food allergies and we won't feed them whatever it is...but a happy meal, a rousing reading of Hop on Pop, a tickle match and some running around never hurt anyone...neither did a big old bowl of ice cream!

Erika is a controlling bitch...I can only hope that eventually karma bites her right square in the ass.

[DGayle]

I'd say- fat chance. I do not see Erika being like Kelly Bates, who's said that whilst her kids live under her roof, they abide by her rules, but once they're out of the house, they can make their own. She's OK with Alyssa wearing jeans and strapless tops (Kelly that is.)

Which makes Erika a hypocrite. How dad Bob's parents probably give the girls a treat. That undermines her! But I can see her demanding to be in charge of the grandkids' schedules and not seeing that as undermining her kids.