Michaela and Brandon Are Engaged!

[Georgiana]

Per their instagram:

brandon_michael_jn15@rebecca799 Brandon's current job is in Chicago...at this point we are planning to live there!

This is what I was expecting since he works for Gothard. However, it also makes me slightly sad. They are going to go into a community of (in my opinion) terrible marriages with the Wallers and their friends whose name I am forgetting.

If I had to choose a fundie group to be around in my first year of marriage, I would choose Zach and Whit and DEFINITELY Erin and Chad. They seem to have healthy, strong relationships, and I would actually value their advice and counsel on building a solid marriage. I wouldn't mind at all modeling my marriage after theirs, or having them as our close couple friends. EDIT: Actually, even now I value their advice. I kinda wish they would post more relationship posts, because I think they really have a strong relationship, and even though we disagree on A LOT of things, I would be interested to hear what they have to say about building a strong relationship.

No way would I want any advice or counsel from the Wallers. I wouldn't even want to hang out with them because I would be worried that their relationship dynamic would seep into ours before it becomes established.

I worry that Brandon, being new to the job/area, would try to mimic the husbandly behavior of David and his friend, who would probably be his mentors and the men he looks up to. I worry that in trying to fit in, he will treat Michael how David treats Pris and other guy treats Kendalyn. I worry that Michael is too much like Pris (sweet and passive) as opposed to Alyssa/Erin/Tori (more assertive) and would not stick up for herself. I would much rather they be around the Paines, where Brandon would be encouraged to serve Michael, and Michael to serve Brandon (which seems to be her natural disposition) in an environment where she can really blossom.

When marriage issues happen, which they always do, I worry that it will be David that Brandon is talking to. Both Chad/Zach would give much healthier advice.

[JMO]

Michael(a) is definitely going to be put on the baby train and I also fear that Brandon is going to look to David for a husbandly role model. :cry:

[Pretzel]

Erm, if there's any fundie woman out there who desperately wants to go on the baby train, it's Michael! She's made it abundantly clear that she wants to have kids the sooner the better. I really hope she and Brandon don't have the same struggles as Erin and Chad. I can totally see Cherin be happy with "just" Carson and maybe a sibling in a while but I think it would totally destroy Michael of she had to go through the same.

Btw, Michael's what? 25? 26? She's old and mature enough (even for a fundie girl) to know what it means to say "I want as many as I can have!"

[HereticHick]

Erm, if there's any fundie woman out there who desperately wants to go on the baby train, it's Michael! She's made it abundantly clear that she wants to have kids the sooner the better. I really hope she and Brandon don't have the same struggles as Erin and Chad. I can totally see Cherin be happy with "just" Carson and maybe a sibling in a while but I think it would totally destroy Michael of she had to go through the same.

Btw, Michael's what? 25? 26? She's old and mature enough (even for a fundie girl) to know what it means to say "I want as many as I can have!"

She turned 25 in January. At this rate, she will be 26--perhaps pushing 26 and 1/2--when she has her 1st baby, barring fertility problems.

She wants babies, and she knows that it is too late for her to have 19 like her mom did.

[actuallyjessica]

This is what I was expecting since he works for Gothard. However, it also makes me slightly sad. They are going to go into a community of (in my opinion) terrible marriages with the Wallers and their friends whose name I am forgetting.

If I had to choose a fundie group to be around in my first year of marriage, I would choose Zach and Whit and DEFINITELY Erin and Chad. They seem to have healthy, strong relationships, and I would actually value their advice and counsel on building a solid marriage. I wouldn't mind at all modeling my marriage after theirs, or having them as our close couple friends. EDIT: Actually, even now I value their advice. I kinda wish they would post more relationship posts, because I think they really have a strong relationship, and even though we disagree on A LOT of things, I would be interested to hear what they have to say about building a strong relationship.

No way would I want any advice or counsel from the Wallers. I wouldn't even want to hang out with them because I would be worried that their relationship dynamic would seep into ours before it becomes established.

I worry that Brandon, being new to the job/area, would try to mimic the husbandly behavior of David and his friend, who would probably be his mentors and the men he looks up to. I worry that in trying to fit in, he will treat Michael how David treats Pris and other guy treats Kendalyn. I worry that Michael is too much like Pris (sweet and passive) as opposed to Alyssa/Erin/Tori (more assertive) and would not stick up for herself. I would much rather they be around the Paines, where Brandon would be encouraged to serve Michael, and Michael to serve Brandon (which seems to be her natural disposition) in an environment where she can really blossom.

When marriage issues happen, which they always do, I worry that it will be David that Brandon is talking to. Both Chad/Zach would give much healthier advice.

ever since seeing brandon on the show, he has reminded me of david waller. he seems bland and rigid and soooooo not into her. not in a 'not into girls' way, but just getting the feeling he was going through the motions. so yeah, i'm under the assumption that michael and brandon will become prissy and david part 2.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

So living in Chicago or Michigan? Gothard has HQ in suburban Chicago and the place where JTTH is held is in northern Michigan.... hmmmmmm

[halcionne]

So living in Chicago or Michigan? Gothard has HQ in suburban Chicago and the place where JTTH is held is in northern Michigan.... hmmmmmm

Chicago. She replied to some comments on a picture from last week:

And a few words about her name, from the same picture:

[anjulibai]

I really hope she gets tested for the issue that Erin has; I can't remember what it's called, but I remember when they announced her diagnosis reading her sisters all had a 1 in 4 chance of having the same thing she did. So, statistically, about 2 or 3 of the bates girls will have this issue.

Actually, I hope all of the Bates girls get tested before they marry.

[Miggy]

Brandon has older, married siblings, doesn't he? Not sure what these marriages are like but he may be more inclined to follow their influence than that of David Waller and what's-his--name Staddon. Still a pity to see Michael/a move there. You seem to need to be the pretty+blonde+delicate type to fit in at headquarters and that's not how I see her. I hope she can find friends and be happy or that Brandon's job doesn't last long and they move back to Tennessee and live near Zach & Whit.

[quiversR4hunting]

Brandon has older, married siblings, doesn't he? Not sure what these marriages are like but he may be more inclined to follow their influence than that of David Waller and what's-his--name Staddon. Still a pity to see Michael/a move there. You seem to need to be the pretty+blonde+delicate type to fit in at headquarters and that's not how I see her. I hope she can find friends and be happy or that Brandon's job doesn't last long and they move back to Tennessee and live near Zach & Whit.

I would rather see them move to Michigan after his HQ job. His sisters wear skirts, shorts and pants (not that doesn't make them not fundie). IIRC a couple of his older sisters are not married and several siblings have degrees from public (secular) colleges and/or universities.

Do we know what he does at HQ?

[artdecades]

Chicago. She replied to some comments on a picture from last week:

And a few words about her name, from the same picture:

I was struck by her use of "sweet parents" here. Its bizarre. It seems like a very Sarah Maxwell thing to say. It doesn't really make sense. Oh, your parents called you a nickname because you liked it better, how special and sweet of them. Besides the point is the fact that her "sweet" parents are the ones who gave her a name, decided they didn't like it, and tried to change it but were too cheap to actually do so.

[Georgiana]

I was struck by her use of "sweet parents" here. Its bizarre. It seems like a very Sarah Maxwell thing to say. It doesn't really make sense. Oh, your parents called you a nickname because you liked it better, how special and sweet of them. Besides the point is the fact that her "sweet" parents are the ones who gave her a name, decided they didn't like it, and tried to change it but were too cheap to actually do so.

I don't know if I would say they were too cheap. I think honestly they may have been too poor to afford the fees. I don't remember exactly what the cost was, but I think it was several hundred dollars when you include all the processing and getting the documents changed. Yes, definitely something they could have saved up for, but would it have been worth it?

At the time, that was probably close to what they were or would be paying in rent for a two bedroom place. The Bates lived from one paycheck to the next for a LONG time, and sometimes they didn't even make it to that next paycheck. I'm not sure a legal name change was something they could really afford until recently.

[tulip]

I was struck by her use of "sweet parents" here. Its bizarre. It seems like a very Sarah Maxwell thing to say. It doesn't really make sense. Oh, your parents called you a nickname because you liked it better, how special and sweet of them. Besides the point is the fact that her "sweet" parents are the ones who gave her a name, decided they didn't like it, and tried to change it but were too cheap to actually do so.

They (or Gil, rather) are her authority and for her to voice discontent with something they chose and then for them to change it to make her happy, is a big deal for these people. :?

[anjulibai]

I don't know if I would say they were too cheap. I think honestly they may have been too poor to afford the fees. I don't remember exactly what the cost was, but I think it was several hundred dollars when you include all the processing and getting the documents changed. Yes, definitely something they could have saved up for, but would it have been worth it?

At the time, that was probably close to what they were or would be paying in rent for a two bedroom place. The Bates lived from one paycheck to the next for a LONG time, and sometimes they didn't even make it to that next paycheck. I'm not sure a legal name change was something they could really afford until recently.

Uh, yes...having multiple forms of a name that you use legally can cause some issues. Just ask my grandmother who was given one name at birth and then another at her baptism. Caused her issues for years when she needed to present her birth certificate but it didn't match her other legal records - for example, her SSN, marriage licence and birth certificate don't match. Thankfully many government institutions do allow for baptismal records, but it's still a PITA for her.

Perhaps if they didn't have so many damn kids they couldn't afford, they'd have been able to legally change it.

[JillyO]

I always thought there must be more to the story of Michael's name. I guess I could believe their version of why they changed it from Michal to Michael, even though it seems stupid to me. But WHY, then, is her middle name Christian? Why does she have two boy's names? It just makes no sense.

[TXGirlInAMaterialWorld]

I think Brandon will fit in fine with David Waller and his ilk at the HQ. BK just totally creeps me out! I feel so bad for Michael. I think that Erin and Alyssa may have both found loving husbands and now Michael will be stuck with a creeper. He just seems like the the kind of guy who could kill your self esteem with a smile on his face.

I know she is an adult and chose him as well, but it's still sad.

[Pretzel]

I don't really get a "creeper" vibe from Brandon. :? I just think that while Michael has learnt to be more self-confident in front of the camera, he's still just very, very camera shy and little intimidated by the whole UPtv circus. He looks like he'd much rather enjoy if everything was a little more private. Fellow FJites love to cite the scene in which Michael surprised him in (I believe) Texas and he told her she was a great liar for making him believe she was far away. I really think he was genuinely happy to see her but totally uncomfortable to be filmed in that situation.

He was totally great with the little Bates kiddos on Thanksgiving, though. He seemed to be very patient and calm, which is a trait one would need if going for a full quiver.

[nokidsmom]

I really think he was genuinely happy to see her but totally uncomfortable to be filmed in that situation.

I can totally understand Brandon not wanting to be filmed when Michael surprised him. Even if he was less camera shy, some folks really don't want to be doubly surprised with a camera crew showing up to film the surprise.

Guess the family hasn't quite learned from the Sarah Reith / Zach Bates courtship proposal disaster. That was one situation that should have not been filmed, it was a really bad idea, awkward as hell and this involving someone who was used to performing in public. No wonder the courtship went kaput. Oh well, Michael and Brandon survived it to go on and get engaged.

[19 cats and counting]

I always thought there must be more to the story of Michael's name. I guess I could believe their version of why they changed it from Michal to Michael, even though it seems stupid to me. But WHY, then, is her middle name Christian? Why does she have two boy's names? It just makes no sense.

Her middle name is Christan (no I at the end) which I assume is an alternative spelling of Kristen.

[Georgiana]

I don't really get a "creeper" vibe from Brandon. :? I just think that while Michael has learnt to be more self-confident in front of the camera, he's still just very, very camera shy and little intimidated by the whole UPtv circus. He looks like he'd much rather enjoy if everything was a little more private. Fellow FJites love to cite the scene in which Michael surprised him in (I believe) Texas and he told her she was a great liar for making him believe she was far away. I really think he was genuinely happy to see her but totally uncomfortable to be filmed in that situation.

He was totally great with the little Bates kiddos on Thanksgiving, though. He seemed to be very patient and calm, which is a trait one would need if going for a full quiver.

I am often awkward when being filmed/photographed. It's fine when I'm left to my own devices, in which it clearly shows I'm just uncomfortable, but I bet the producer gave Brandon the advice that dooms all camera-shy folk:

"Just act natural"

"Acting natural" is when you get creepy. When you're camera-awkward, you can't REALLY act natural in front of a camera. Instead, you start looking like an alien in a human suit doing a really bad job of attempting to act human. This is because your internal monologue runs like this: Ok, don't stare at the camera. Don't stare at the camera. DON'T. STARE. AT. THE. CAMERA. Do something. Do something natural. Like a natural human. What do natural humans do in these cases? Say words? Yes. Words. What words? ANY WORDS YOU'VE PAUSED TOO LONG JUST GO

"Wow, you're a great liar!"

Oh no, that's not right. Too late. It happened. The camera saw it. NO! Don't stare at the camera. But don't just stand there. You're just standing there. That's not natural. What is natural? Um...hug her? YES GO DO IT

[Pretzel]

Georgiana, that scenario is basically what went down in my head when I saw that particular scene.

I think we'll all have to wait and see but I doubt they'll be the second Pecan Thieves. Brandon doesn't have that douchey, control freaky vibe about him and Michael is mature and smart. She doesn't lag behind him in any way. Their relationship dynamics are very different from the Wallers'. Just because they both work at HQ doesn't mean they'll turn out to have the same relationships.

[imokit]

I don't know that Gill and Kelly would support the marriage unless its what the couple really wanted and they were confident he'd treat her right.

As a fundy family the parents are by definition really involved in the courtship process, and so far they've done a good job (it seems) with their other two girls. M & B have been together long enough that at least some signs of danger would have appeared and I think that her parents would have seen and responded to those signs were they present.

The Bates matches all seem a lot more suited than the Duggar matches. JB wants yes men, Gill genuinely wants happy daughters.

That said the caveat to that, would be if M desperately wanted the match regardless of warning signals her parents saw. I think that G & K may support her as he's a respectable man in their circles(though I suspect the kids are too well trained to ignore parental advice and this is unlikely).

[Pretzel]

They had an extremely long courtship for a fundie couple. It's now what, like 1 1/2 years approx?! That's a lot of time to make special friends and get to know each other.

My feeling is that, since Michael is on rather conservative side of the Bates siblings and she's much older than her siblings when they courted, Gil and Kelly have been very relaxed about their courtship standards for Michael and Brandon. I think we've seen Michael text Brandon without the controlling eyes of a sibling and I doubt that they've never been alone together. I like that Michael calls him her boyfriend, because what else is he? They are boyfriend and girlfriend and had a longish relationship before they tied the knot. To me, Michael and Brandon's relationship is as close to non-fundie standards as it get.

Maybe it's wishful thinking, but it always seems like Kelly and Gil have a lot of faith in Michael and appreciate her a lot. I doubt they'd push her into marriage or push anyone on her and support a marriage that they feel is not going to work. In the end nobody knows what the future holds. Maybe Cherin's fairytale marriage is bound to fail and Michael and Brandon's turns out to be unshakeable through any storm. Or maybe all their marriages work out because they've all found someone who fits their personalities.

I'm not giving up hope for Michael and Brandon just yet. Show them to me in 2 years with 2 little ones and another on the way with him working at HQ.

[sense and nonsense]

Yeah, a 15/16 month courtship is pretty sound. I figure Brandon is just the type who isn't very expressive with words/gestures, that doesn't necessarily make him a creep. He's probably just a more quiet or private person.

[JillyO]

Her middle name is Christan (no I at the end) which I assume is an alternative spelling of Kristen.

Interesting, thanks for mentioning it. It's a weird spelling, but okay. Wikipedia's got it wrong, then.