Riveting Fiction by Candy

[MonkeyMomma]

MonkeyMomma, my shameful secret is I actually like Ayn Rand ;) Mentioning her and Candy in the same breath is cruel, at least Rand bothered to write dialogue (and I stand by my conviction that We The Living is actually good).

Oh yeah, and describe her characters. I still have no clue what Misty looks like except she was overweight then amazingly stopped being. As for Barry, I was just reading a blog where that was a contemptuous nickname for Barack Obama, so that is how I picture him... ;)

Ack, I knew I should have clarified my Rand stance! I did not intend cruelty, I just remember reading The Fountainhead and feeling like she was beating me with her philosophy ... and Candy is punching me in the face with her agenda.

(I did kinda like Anthem, to be fair.)

[Hane]

I stepped away from the lousy grammar/punctuation, miserable writing style, and excruciating exposition, because the bizarre logic of the story was bashing me over the head.

She has a beloved aunt who's a successful mother and homemaker, but, rather than naturally walk in her footsteps, she becomes "programmed" to have a "career" (as what, exactly?). She feels drawn to homemaking and attractive clothing, but sits around all day like a schlub--because why, exactly? She enjoyed church as a child, and wanted to attend the adult services--but some strange force is preventing her from attending as an adult.

Yep--us evil feminists, forcing women to sit around in their nightgowns all day.

I'm reminded of Miss Raquel's "fictional" in SO many ways.

[FloraDoraDolly]

If you're a Candy follower at all, it's all the more hilarious. She's used all the subtleness of a sledgehammer to stick in all of her personal credo points. Clearly Misty is HELL-BOUND.

1. Eating sugary donuts and cola late at night BY HERSELF? Check.

2. Going out with the ladies? Check.

3. Not having a by-the-minute home management binder? Check.

Also, Misty apparently has the clothing tasted of a 1980's streetwalker. Sequined mini-skirt and tank top with bling: the path to Satan's doorway is getting closer every minute.

I pictured her as a chunky housewife dressed up in Pat Benatar clothes.

[booksnbeats]

I pictured her as a chunky housewife dressed up in Pat Benatar clothes.

Misty's love for her slimming jacket, no matter how hot it gets, predicts her transformation to headcovering and VF-style modesty. FORESHADOWING

[emeraldskull]

Subtlety much? :-P

Not hard to see what she thinks of all the other women who don't live/believe exactly as she does (even if they ARE stay-at-home moms!)... And OBVIOUSLY everyone who does now follow her pattern of life is secretly unfulfilled and wishes they could be constrained in dresses, kids and cooking all day....

:roll:

[sugaree]

Dude, I know! I love how Misty fantasizes about a little home in the country, because obviously housewifery there will be nothing like the housewifery she hates in her current house. It's all different when you wear a headscarf!

[DamnPrecious]

I stepped away from the lousy grammar/punctuation, miserable writing style, and excruciating exposition, because the bizarre logic of the story was bashing me over the head.

She has a beloved aunt who's a successful mother and homemaker, but, rather than naturally walk in her footsteps, she becomes "programmed" to have a "career" (as what, exactly?). She feels drawn to homemaking and attractive clothing, but sits around all day like a schlub--because why, exactly? She enjoyed church as a child, and wanted to attend the adult services--but some strange force is preventing her from attending as an adult.

Yep--us evil feminists, forcing women to sit around in their nightgowns all day.

I'm reminded of Miss Rachel's "fictional" in SO many ways.

I loved childrens church. She needs to STFU&GTFO.

[Guest Anonymous]

Fundiefan, thanks for that. If Mensa ever did knock at her door it would be to say "Never even attempt to join. You're pretty thick."

That and "Stop using our name or we'll sue for defamation".

[Joykins]

It's great when the author interprets the book for you so you don't have to do any thinking about it later or anything.

[batwing]

I'm new to Candy, but her August 24 post that is all about who she is is one million kinds of awesome.

wtf is a blood-bought Christian? wtf is a Whore of Babylon? whytf is long hair considered a head covering if you're swimming? Are we supposed to be checking if religious teachings "mesh well" with the word of god? And isn't the term "mesh well" originally from the movie Clueless when Alicia Silverstone tells Brittany Murphy that she and Paul Rudd don't "mesh well"?!

There are so many questions.

[prairiemuffin]

Excellent part, after "Misty" spots a fundie in the grocery store:

"Misty realized she never paid attention to people before. Were there more families out there, like that? A yearning cried from her heart. She wished she had what that mother had, but she didn't know what it was. She only knew she wanted it, too."

[Luminesce]

Excellent part, after "Misty" spots a fundie in the grocery store:

"Misty realized she never paid attention to people before. Were there more families out there, like that? A yearning cried from her heart. She wished she had what that mother had, but she didn't know what it was. She only knew she wanted it, too."

Oh my. That reads like an entry in the Bulwer-Lytton bad writing contest!

[watchdog]

I love how "their" children are always perfect little angels who smile adoringly at their mothers and obey on command.

And yes, Candy, you can write more than 5 consecutive words without inserting a comma. It's scary to think this woman is homeschooling 4 kids.

"Semi-audible"? Is that anything like "semi-pregnant"? Something is either audible or it's not.

All I could envision when reading the grocery store scenes was The Stepford Wives.

[Bozoette]

A yearning cried from her heart.

A Tums or two will take care of that. ;)

[prairiemuffin]

There was nothing good on TV, except for one movie - Groundhog Day. She didn't know what the movie was about, but it was just starting. She hoped it would be good enough to distract her for a while.

She found herself identifying with the main character of the movie. She saw that he wasn't living up to his potential, just as she wasn't. When the main character became stuck in a loop, she identified with him. That's where she felt she was, right at that moment - stuck in a loop; couldn't go forward, couldn't go backwards. She felt like she had been living the same day, over and over again. It all seemed so superficial, with no real meaning behind it.

Bill Murray: Life changer.

[Cran]

That happens when you write with the intention to moralise and mess it up.

The ideal Misty is aspiring to become is nothing but an idealised version of Candy: No children's programm at church, wearing a headcovering and "feminine" dresses (What is a masculine dress anyway? A kilt?), glorying in the housewife-role etc. etc. Or let's say Candy is, how is that fundie in the supermarket called, Christine?

Candy was my introduction to crazy female fundies, together with LAF, and she really never disappoints me.

I wrote like that when I was around 13, as much as it shames me to admit it, and I fear to try writing again because I dread that my style hasn't changed at all! Well, not everybody is gifted in this area, but everybody should be wise enough to know where he is gifted and where not. (HINT, Candy!)

[prairiemuffin]

Candy was my introduction to crazy female fundies, together with LAF, and she really never disappoints me.

She was mine, too, and as much as I want to, I can't look away. A sizeable number of women have attributed her and her long, long, list of how things should be done with thier near breakdowns. She won't admit that her life is anything less but the perfection she publishes on her blog, and if you can't achieve that, well, you just aren't trying hard enough.

[Burris]

My computer is dead, and so I have been online only intermittently. It's my "good" fortune that I should spend some of my limited time reading Candy's story.

I thought one of the posters up-thread was joking when she said the church lady's name is Christine. Heh! Turns out the joke was on me.

But the part that interests me most is that Candy keeps using the term "programmed" when talking about the anti-religious training that supposedly took place during Misty's formative years.

Was Misty trained to dislike religion? Indoctrinated against religious teaching? Taught to see church as boring? No; she was programmed - like a simple machine.

And to overcome her programming, Misty must find a new set of protocols - a major upgrade to govern her beliefs and actions. This upgrade will no-doubt take the form of the strict legalism that probably dominates at Christine's 'small Baptist church' - and so, if Misty remains true to her task as Candy's Mary Sue, she'll join that church, buy in completely, then start church-hopping if she differs from the pastor on some minor doctrinal point.

[Dinorah]

Wow, this makes Miss Raquel's anti-abortion "fictional" look like a masterpiece, and at least Raquel has the extenuating circumstance of being a teen ager.

I don't follow Candy's blog, but it seems she can barely write in English at all.

[clarinetpower]

CHRIST-ine. It's Subtull, isn't it?

[emmyfair]

A Tums or two will take care of that. ;)

[fundiefan]

Nothing Candy says is subtle, not even when she pretends to write fiction.

Candy is the unintended result of people choosing what life and the bible mean.

[shesinsane]

Subtlety much? :-P

Not hard to see what she thinks of all the other women who don't live/believe exactly as she does (even if they ARE stay-at-home moms!)... And OBVIOUSLY everyone who does now follow her pattern of life is secretly unfulfilled and wishes they could be constrained in dresses, kids and cooking all day....

:roll:

Indeed. This series of short stories has inspired me to write as well:

Kristy wakes up to start her day with her morning prayers. Kristy can take a leisurely shower, since her eldest daughters have gotten the younger children out of bed, washed, fed, and ready for school. School is at the dining room table, where another daughter will teach the children about character (which is more important than grammar, spelling, or math). Her husband is out with some of the older boys, working in the family business. It's ok that the boys aren't attending school, Kristy and her husband have prayed about it. Kristy reads from the Bible to herself, then aloud to the children as they eat the lunch one of the older girls prepared. After a post-lunch prayer session where the children are tested in their ability to sit quiet and still for 30 minutes, the children are off to do their chores. Kristy spends her afternoon on the couch, praying that her most recent intimacy with her husband has resulted in another blessing.

:D

[Cran]

I do not think Candy capable of thinking so subtly she named her character CHRIST-ine on purpose. It was probably the most average name she could think of.

[fundiefan]

I do not think Candy capable of thinking so subtly she named her character CHRIST-ine on purpose. It was probably the most average name she could think of.

Oh, I think she is entirely capable of thinking of the CHRISTine and trying to use it in a subtle way. I just don't think she is capable of seeing beyond it and I don't thing she has any understanding of subtlety, implications or word play.

She knows what she is trying to do. She just isn't capable of doing it.