Riveting Fiction by Candy

[Boogalou]

Candy is mixing her past tense with present. That and this...this...excuse for a paragraph sounds more like...one of those blurbs on religious brochures encouraging you to come to their church. Or something.

Trynn, every time I glance over at your username I briefly think it says Taryn and I get so excited that Taryn has come to FJ! But then I examine it more closely. However, since the names are so close I have to ask if you have some sort of connection with Taryn.

[Greek Chorus]

Candy has mother issues with weight. She wrote so horribly about her fat, lazy mother (while the mom was living with them!)

Candy has self esteem issues with weight. Her husband likes skeletal women and isn't afraid to tell her so.

Candy has control issues with weight, and it's quite an obsession. Her food diary/workouts were ...interesting... and showed she doesn't have a healthy relationship with dieting, so to speak.

Her fiction is so unbelievable, even if the spelling and grammar were actually, you know, correct. Her bratty kids who she can't control at home and had never been to church sat right through the church service quietly, with no problems?

Of course, anyone who's ever followed Candy long enough to read one of her many versions of her testimony will see right through "Misty". It's all there- the going to church at 12 with a friend, the hating of Children's Church, the weight thing, the "if I could be a perfect helpmeet my marriage would be great" vibe, the scarf folded neatly as a headcovering, but not too obvious of a headcovering, because headcoverings must be cute.

[Chrystal-J]

She complains too much about her husband. She better check her meek and mild spirit--ASAP!

[sugaree]

Oh, my. She really is nuts. Here at myblessedhome.blogspot.com/2005/06/how-to-make-home-management-binder.html

6.-To schedule your kids, I suggest you look at your schedule, and add a column next your schedule, for each kid. For example, if you have 5 kids, then you'd have a total of 7 columns. The first column will be where you write in the time for each scheduled task of the day. The second column is your schedule, and the other columns are for your kids. I suggest you start with the oldest, and work down to the youngest.

Okay. Fair enough. This sounds like a valid organizational technique. Kids do need the kind of structure found by scheduling, and every household has some sort of variation on tv-time/chores/bathtime/snacktime. Naptime for little kids/homework or homeschool time for bigger kids.

Do schedule in some free play time. However, it shouldn't be longer than a half hour at a time, if they are going to be playing with a sibling. When my kids play together, I supervise them, so that I can stop bad behavior before it starts.

Okay, first off, I don't actually believe that this is how she lives her life. But the interesting part is that she thinks this is actually a good thing to do. She thinks that good mothers micromanage their children to the extent that they supervise each and every sibling interaction.

She doesn't mention age here. Of course a seven-month-old and a two-year-old playing together would need to be rather closely supervised. They are still at the age where they will, like, eat a bug if they find one on the floor; plus, the two-year-old might get some idea about stuffing the baby or dragging the baby. But your average four- and six-year-old? Or seven- and ten-year-old? I find the idea that you are not able to play with your brothers or sisters and develop your own damn relationship without constant, constant feedback from mom really strange and creepy.

don't have them all doing the same things at the same times. For example, have one coloring at the table, while another is reading on the couch, another is doing their chores, another is studying in the dining room, another one is helping your cook dinner, etc.

Again, bizarre micromanagement. Not the choretime or studytime, but the idea that mom decrees when it is time for you to color, and mom decrees when it it is time for you to read. What if you don't want to color? You want to read, or you want to play with your Legos, or you and your sibling want to play something together? Tough. You are scheduled to color at the table, so color at the table you must.

Again, I don't believe for a moment that she lives like this, just that she thinks this is some sort of ideal. And when people have these kinds of impossible ideals, it usually means that they are unable to patch together any sort of actual productive activity, just because the goal is so unobtainable. I would bet money that her real home life is a lot closer to Misty's pre-conversion chaos than to the peace and tranquility that Kara and Christine leave in their wake.

I picture Candy on the computer in her nightgown, donuts nearby, while the kids run wild.

[anniebgood]

I left a comment for Candy asking about her puppies and Taryn, bless her heart left this comment after it:

I don't know what that puppy comment meant but just a reminder- we Christians should not buy puppies in pet stores. Those Amish,Mennonite,etc., puppy mills should be closed down. I wonder if the Amish still grow tobacco.

And Candy never answered it though she posted it. Creeping from reality again I guess.

[CanadianHippie]

Read the first installment and my brain, she is hurting. It reads like a 13-year-old wrote it.

You did better than I did. I lost interest as soon as she jumped straight from saying it was time to wake the twins to hubby didn't do the dishes. Talk about choppy transitions, it's impossible to tell when the scenes change from one time/place to another.

That is all I have to say on this because I want to save my brain, I have three writing intensive courses this semester and I want to do well in them.

[Dinorah]

Has anyone read the last installment? Surprise surprise, Misty goes to church, converts, cries and all her problems disappear!

As a former Catholic, I always find the idea of public, noisy conversions weird.

[gilora]

How does one go prior installments of the Misty/Barry saga? I can only get to the sixth and seventh installments.

This was my first time visiting this particular blog but I know it will soon be on my favorits list. The juxtaposition of recipes for yogurt cheese, bible quotes and comet updates is priceless.

[Cran]

I don't think you can, unless Candy decides to put up links to them in her sidebar. She does not keep archives - it would be to easy to name he inconsistencies. Perhaps you can leave her a comment begging her to put up her riveting fiction again. ;)

Edit: She has links to them, right at the top of her blog.

http://myblessedhome.blogspot.com/2011/ ... s_882.html

Missed them before.

[fundiefan]

I left a comment for Candy asking about her puppies and Taryn, bless her heart left this comment after it:

Quote:

I don't know what that puppy comment meant but just a reminder- we Christians should not buy puppies in pet stores. Those Amish,Mennonite,etc., puppy mills should be closed down. I wonder if the Amish still grow tobacco.

And Candy never answered it though she posted it. Creeping from reality again I guess.

Oh, Taryn, you are spectacularly ridiculous. If you're real, I'd give anything to meet you in person. The ebil Amish & Mennonite's are not the only puppy millers in the country; in fact, if they are part of that racket, it's in very small numbers. Also, no one should buy a pet from a pet store, whether Christian, Muslim or crazy Atheist.

I also hope the ebil Amish still grow tobacco. When I light up up, I'd like to know I'm helping support a peaceful (if kinda' misguided) part of society rather than the big tobacco companies.

As for Candy's story - I'm anxiously anticipating the great, wonderous, miraculous and automatic changes in Misty's, er, Clarity's, life now that she has been saved in one visit to church. All those beaded mini skirts and blinged out tank tops are going to go in the trash and be replaced by flowered dressed with bulging buttons.

[Trynn]

Trynn, every time I glance over at your username I briefly think it says Taryn and I get so excited that Taryn has come to FJ! But then I examine it more closely. However, since the names are so close I have to ask if you have some sort of connection with Taryn.

Who is Taryn? I keep hearing about her but haven't been able to find anything on her.

I guess that answers your question as to whether or not there's a connection...