Bringing Up Bates & Bates Family Doings: Part 2

[zadie]

Hmm. Erin got stretch mark cream as one of the baby shower gifts. That seems to go against the shit they spew constantly. Stretch marks are a mark of child birth. If that's her greatest glory why should she cover it up? Also,it doesn't seem terribly humble and modest to care so much about your stretch marks. Isn't your husband supposed to love you for your soul and inner beauty?

[Daenerys]

So Michael/Michaela announced her bridal party on Instagram today. The only non Bates/Keilen bridesmaid is Jana Duggar.

I wonder how many other Duggars will be at the wedding... UpTV isn't going to want that disgraced family all over their screen, so I wonder if they would just invite a few of the older girls or even just Jana? No way JB, Michelle or Josh could be seen on screen without major fallout.

[Mela99]

Did I read right on there that her mother will be a brides maid?

Nope, her mother is going to be her maid of honor.

[HCB]

Maybe Michaela's "can't touch my boyfriend" comment was because she isn't allowed to snuggle or hang on Brandon? The Bates do allow normal hugs and they don't care if people of the same sex sit next to each other and are touching/arms linked (think Mullet in the tiny truck squeezing herself between Jessa and Ben so that their arms wouldn't even touch). I know that they are just as deep into Gothardism as the Duggars. I think the difference comes from 1. the parents are more educated than JB & M and understand that a hug doesn't mean the two people are just going to drop to the floor and start going at it. And 2. they seem to be overall a more loving, touchy feely, emotional family than the Duggars. So I think they just tolerate more of that. Who really knows. Those are just my guesses as to why the Bates allow more than the Duggars.

[Imagine20]

I think they tolerate more because of branding. They don't want to be the Duggars part 2. They want to see less conservative, but just as religious. It's all about public perception with them.

[mango_fandango]

Maybe Michaela's "can't touch my boyfriend" comment was because she isn't allowed to snuggle or hang on Brandon? The Bates do allow normal hugs and they don't care if people of the same sex sit next to each other and are touching/arms linked (think Mullet in the tiny truck squeezing herself between Jessa and Ben so that their arms wouldn't even touch). I know that they are just as deep into Gothardism as the Duggars. I think the difference comes from 1. the parents are more educated than JB & M and understand that a hug doesn't mean the two people are just going to drop to the floor and start going at it. And 2. they seem to be overall a more loving, touchy feely, emotional family than the Duggars. So I think they just tolerate more of that. Who really knows. Those are just my guesses as to why the Bates allow more than the Duggars.

They allow normal hugs. In the post on the family blog announcing Alyssa's courtship, there is photographic evidence that Alyssa not only held hands with John, but did a full-on frontal hug. In a reply to a comment, Kelly says that the couples decide their rules. She says that holding hands can be done innocently. The picture of John and Alyssa holding hands is quite sweet, as opposed to the intense hand sex that went on between Smuggar and OfSmuggar.

[DowntownAbbey]

I find it a bit tough to believe that the kids really get to set their own standards all on their own. Yeah, there has been some variation in the amount of physical contact among the couples. . . but isn't it possible the parents said you can do X, Y, and Z if you want, but nothing other than those three options? Like you can hold hands, side hug, and link arms before marriage, but nothing more than that?

I mean, Zach and Whit kissed before marriage - but they also talked about how they went and asked his parents' for forgiveness for doing so. If they really set their own limitations, why would they need to ask forgiveness?

Okay, I can't believe I'm going to work this through with fundie logic but here goes.

From what I understand, courtship is meant to be different from dating in that the parents are considered to be an integral part of the relationship. This can manifest itself in different ways depending on the parents. Ever controlling Jim Bob and Michelle take control of the courtship compared to Gil and Kelly, for example. So Gil and Kelly allow their children to set their own standards.

However, they still have to be involved per the reasoning for courtship. Thus, I would presume that Zach and Whit would have discussed the rules that they decided on with Gil and Kelly. Gil and Kelly could then act as accountabilibuddies helping ensure that the couple follow the self-imposed rules. Zach and Whit's appeal for forgiveness was then a sort of "hey, acountabilibuddy, we fell off the wagon, we're sorry."

[maple802]

I wonder how many other Duggars will be at the wedding... UpTV isn't going to want that disgraced family all over their screen, so I wonder if they would just invite a few of the older girls or even just Jana? No way JB, Michelle or Josh could be seen on screen without major fallout.

I agree that UpTV isn't going to want the Duggars splashed all over the screen. I'm betting that many of them will be in attendance (at least a chaperone/travel buddy for Jana), but they'll be seated back far enough so that they can be edited out/camouflaged in post-production.

[19 cats and counting]

I think they tolerate more because of branding. They don't want to be the Duggars part 2. They want to see less conservative, but just as religious. It's all about public perception with them.

When Zach was in the failed courtship with Sarah (?) they were stricter than the Duggars (who allowed the cheesy side hugs). They allowed no touching at all.

The part of me who sees the positive in people wants to think that they learned from the courtship fail.

[Mela99]

I wonder what color scheme she's going to go with ... and if Kelly's dress will match all the others.

[IzzyM]

I wonder what color scheme she's going to go with ... and if Kelly's dress will match all the others.

She answered it on her instagram: pink and brown. She said as well that Addalee, Ellie and Callie will be flower girls and Judson and Bradley will be ring bearers. I can't wait to see the cutest Bradley as a ring bearer!

[ladyaudley]

Jacknzie Duggar Bates, I tried to reply to your PM, but you have receiving turned off says tapatalk!

On topic: Michael freaking out like that over Tori tugging his arm seemed staged to me. They were absolutely capable of touching (walking arm and arm during that walk with Gil and Kelly, for example), so "you can't touch him if I can't" didn't make sense.

[Daenerys]

I agree that UpTV isn't going to want the Duggars splashed all over the screen. I'm betting that many of them will be in attendance (at least a chaperone/travel buddy for Jana), but they'll be seated back far enough so that they can be edited out/camouflaged in post-production.

Hahahahahahaha can you imagine their faces having to sit at the back and be ignored by the cameras?

I don't think Josh etc will be invited because even the risk of him appearing in a background shot is SO damaging to the entire Bates brand.

[DarkAnts]

I am a victim of sexual assault. So, I am more guarded when it comes to physical contact. Hand holding and hugs are the first step for me. Kissing iand making out several steps above that. Sex is something I reserve for people that I trust with both emotional and physical intimacy.

I don't understand how the QF kids can go from limited touching to full on sex in a matter of hours. I do not think the trust is there so it may be traumatic to one or both parties.

[Kira]

1. I predict Josh and Anna will be absent, but everyone else will be invited. Michelle, Jimbob and at least 17 of their children will be at the wedding.

2. They won't damage the Bates "brand" (:lol:). There will not be a major uproar if the Duggars appear on the screen( they won't) Fans(christian fans) of the Bates love the Duggars.

[nokidsmom]

Think that the Bateseses will invite JB, J'chelle and kids who are at home. As pointed out, fans of the Bateses tend to also be fans of the Duggars. Plus, outwardly at least, the Bateseses still consider the Duggars their friends. Would be surprised if Josh and Anna were there as I expect both are keeping their heads down plus the new baby. But who knows. This event might be considered "safe" to venture out because they would be around people more likely to be sympathetic fans.

[doubleT]

I am a victim of sexual assault. So, I am more guarded when it comes to physical contact. Hand holding and hugs are the first step for me. Kissing iand making out several steps above that. Sex is something I reserve for people that I trust with both emotional and physical intimacy.

I don't understand how the QF kids can go from limited touching to full on sex in a matter of hours. I do not think the trust is there so it may be traumatic to one or both parties.

The way I view it from the Fundie perspective is: a courtship and engagement is set up the way it is in order to build trust so the female truly knows in her heart that her beloved isn't just after sex and that he truly loves her for her. Love for Jesus and conversation are established early on and on that, they build trust and emotional bonds. It seems very important to Fundies to not make the courtship and engagement be about the physical aspect of a relationship so that it will be stronger once the pair are wed.

Also, I am guessing that the way parents act toward each other in front of their kids is suppose to let the kids realize (modeled for them) that physical affection and sex is a big part of every day life between a husband and a wife. The girls are conditioned that way from a early age and probably want that badly in their own marriage.

This is just what I get from what is shown ... I wasn't brought up this way nor do I know it for a fact.

[Georgiana]

Personally, I'm looking forward to the attendance of Brandon's co-worker and our favorite pecan thief: David Waller.

The Wallers' posts are always awkward to some degree, but somehow they ALWAYS make the MOST awkward posts at weddings. I just can't wait to see what "lesson" they try to teach us with this wedding!

[HereticHick]

Personally, I'm looking forward to the attendance of Brandon's co-worker and our favorite pecan thief: David Waller.

The Wallers' posts are always awkward to some degree, but somehow they ALWAYS make the MOST awkward posts at weddings. I just can't wait to see what "lesson" they try to teach us with this wedding!

They will totally wear matching outfits, too.

Bradley is going to be the cutest ring bearer in the history of creation.

Have we started predicting honeymoon spots yet? They seem like a frugal couple. I predict a domestic (or Canadian) destination.

[actuallyjessica]

They will totally wear matching outfits, too.

Bradley is going to be the cutest ring bearer in the history of creation.

Have we started predicting honeymoon spots yet? They seem like a frugal couple. I predict a domestic (or Canadian) destination.

i'm gonna say somewhere in the mountains.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Of course the Duggars will be there and will be PAID to be there. After all, Gil owes Jim-Bob for getting them out of there tiny house and getting them on the tv gravy train. Josh and Anna will miss the wedding due to the new baby--perfect excuse.

Other than Josh/Anna the Duggars will transition to the Bates show with multiple guest appearances. 'Siah and Marjorie and some Bates kids will visit Joe at College probably.......

[Mama Mia]

I wonder how many other Duggars will be at the wedding... UpTV isn't going to want that disgraced family all over their screen, so I wonder if they would just invite a few of the older girls or even just Jana? No way JB, Michelle or Josh could be seen on screen without major fallout.

Well that would be all kinds of fucked up. The families are supposedly close friends. many of the children seem to be best friends. and the Duggar's won't be invited because of possible media fall- out? That's all kinds of messed up. Certainly people who aren't worried about public personas wouldn't treat their friends that way.

[Snarkylark]

Ok, gotta ask as I've seen this a few times....how does TFDW get the pecan thief nick name?

[Ali]

Ok, gotta ask as I've seen this a few times....how does TFDW get the pecan thief nick name?

You can easily find this out by typing "pecan thief" into the search.

[Dandruff]

Personally, I'm looking forward to the attendance of Brandon's co-worker and our favorite pecan thief: David Waller.

The Wallers' posts are always awkward to some degree, but somehow they ALWAYS make the MOST awkward posts at weddings. I just can't wait to see what "lesson" they try to teach us with this wedding!

When Brandon was at the jewelry store to order the ring, and introduced himself, didn't the guy behind the counter ask him if he was David's friend? Wonder what that was about.